Moonlight: A Twilight and Life and Death Retelling
by Goldielochs
Summary: After over 100 years in the closet, Edward had all but given up the idea of finding a mate. He certainly didn't think he would fall for his food. Beau wasn't looking for love when he moved to Forks, Washington. Rural towns didn't exactly have a welcoming reputation for people like him. Twilight re-imagined (again). Slashfic/lemons. Beau x Edward
1. Chapter 1: First Sight

**Disclaimer: I don't own these characters. They all belong to Stephanie Meyer.**

Hey readers!

After I read Life and Death, I fell in love with Beau. Beau seemed to me, a stronger character that could stand up for himself, but more adorable in his awkwardness. The more I thought about it, the more I liked the idea of Edward actually being gay. It made sense to me. So obviously, I imagined them together and liked the idea so much I wrote this.

So this story is my retelling of Twilight/Life and Death.

Enjoy! - Rosalie

* * *

I wasn't expecting much of a love life when I decided to move to Forks, Washington. Not that I had one to begin with. But I figured my chances of finding the right guy were better in a big city. The differences between Phoenix and Forks are laughable, if it were funny. Polar opposites. My old high school held the same size of the entire population of Forks. Not to say anything about the good people of Forks, but small rural towns don't have the reputation for supporting the LGBT community. I doubt anyone has ever seen a gay person, closeted or not, in Forks. Well, not counting me.

I only came out to my mom three years ago. I was just entering my last year in middle school. I had mulled it over for years at that point and finally decided it was time to state myself. I wasn't nervous telling my mom. In fact, she was. . . too supportive.

"Beau! I'm so happy you told me. I mean, I knew obviously." Mom lightly punched my arm.

"You knew?" I laughed, feeling relief. I was in the middle of an insane growth spurt. My head the year before barely came to my mom's shoulders, I would grow another foot and a half in two years.

"Well, yeah. You're an open book, kid." Her blue eyes, like mine, crinkled with her grin. It was like I had brought her an early Christmas present. I could see it in her head already, telling her friends proudly that her son was gay and preemptively swearing off any type of negativity. Mom, god love her, always liked to stir the pot and be self righteous about it too.

"So when do I get to meet him?" She edged.

"Meet who?"

"Your guy! Who is he?"

"Oh, mom. No. I don't have a guy." I ruffled my hair. All the boys in my class were still dealing with the affects of puberty. I included myself in that category.  
"I haven't, well, I haven't met anyone." My face must have betrayed my crestfallen emotions. Mom wrapped her arms around me. "It's okay, really. I don't mind. I'm kind of a lone wolf anyway. I just. I just wanted to let you know."

"Well," Mom patted my head. "Whoever you fall for, he'll be wonderful." I couldn't have possible imagined how right she was. "Thank you for telling me."

It could be worse. It could be dad. I was never that close to Charlie. There wasn't much to talk about. We didn't really have anything in common. Mom didn't either, only she didn't realize that until 5 years into their marriage. They split up when I was 4. I had seen Charlie every summer, though. The distance she put between us only allowed for once a year first I would come up to Forks to visit. I remember spending time at the tide pools on the cold rocky beaches. I remember playing with some family friends. I would ogle the twins, Aaron and Eric Black, who were just a little older than I was as they dove into the water and wrestle. That's when I knew I was gay, actually. I was watching them the way their little sister was watching me.

Once I turned 12, I put my foot down and instead of going up to Forks, Charlie and I spent two weeks in California together.

When I came out to mom, we talked about how to break the news to Charlie and we decided that perhaps it would be best to wait until necessary for Charlie. He wasn't exactly open minded like we were. He liked the status quo too much. (Another reason mom left).

When mom got remarried last September, however, and I decided to stay with Charlie, and the term "necessary" began gnawing at me.

Mom and I discussed it again while we packed up boxes from our home in Phoenix.

"Just tell him." She thinks I should tell him upfront. I should have told him a long time ago. But, it just never seemed that big of a deal to me. My sexuality didn't really impact my life. I didn't feel the obligation to clue others in on such a deeply personal, controversial, and miniscule part of me. It was like, "what's my favorite color" only some people think that my answer should be red and they don't want me to like blue. So, why bother opening that up to people that didn't matter? But my dad mattered.

Charlie met me at the gate. He wore his uniform, shiny badge and all.

"Hey, dad." I kept reminding myself not to call him "Charlie" to his face.

"How was your flight?" He reached his hand out for a handshake, while I came around for a hug. We both tried to switch tactics halfway through and ended up greeting each other with a fist bump.

"Fine."

"Your hair is longer."

"Oh, I got it cut since I saw you." I readjusted my back pack. Was it always this awkward? Did I make a mistake in coming here?

"Oh. I guess it grew out." He shifted uncomfortably. "Baggage claim is this way."

We stood speechless for three minutes while the bags rotated around the conveyor belt.

There was such a large gap of silence between us. I thought about what my mom said and I found myself just blurting it out. "Dad, I'm gay."

"What?" Charlie's brows furrowed. I couldn't tell if it was because he didn't hear me right, or if he heard me clearly.

"I'm gay." I said again, a little more confidently. But I said it a little too loudly. There was a group of beefed up guys standing to the right of us that guffawed at me and started cracking jokes at my expense. They were a rough looking group, with menacing tattoos on their exposed arms. Chains hung off their pants like it was 2001. I remember thinking how out of date they appeared. Then again, I had an eye for fashion. Their jokes were immature and nasty, but they glanced at my dad, the cop, and shut up.

I was still waiting for a response from my dad.

"Oh." Charlie breathed. "Huh." He shifted his weight again. "Well, alright."

I saw my duffel bag round the corner. "That's mine." I pointed.

"Are you sure?" Dad asked.

"Yeah, my bag has the Panic! At the Disco patch on it."

"No, I mean, are you sure about. . . about. . ."

"Oh." He wasn't asking about my bag. This was harder for me than I thought it would be. I grabbed my luggage when it passed by and swung it over my shoulder. "Yeah, dad. I'm positive." I breathed.

We were silent all the way back to the car. "Look, it's not a big deal. I'm not a crazy gay maniac. I've never dated around. I just want to get through high school. I'm. . . I'm still me, you know. Just, I don't like girls. That's all."

Charlie turned to face me. "Okay. I said alright. It's alright."

"So. . . you're fine with it?"

"You're my son. I love you. I'm glad you're here." He hugged me and I hugged him back. I knew he wasn't completely comfortable with it. But neither was I exactly comfortable talking about my sexual interests with my dad. This was good. This was manageable. We weren't gonna talk about it anymore and that was fine by me. He knew. He accepted me. That's all I wanted.

"Are you hungry?"

I grinned. "Starving."

I didn't realize how often Charlie ate out. That explains his dad gut. I took over kitchen detail. Cooking was always my forte. Not sports or theatre; I couldn't sing worth a damn, but I could move around a kitchen. It took some time, but Charlie eventually trusted my dinners and looked forward to them every night.

Flash forward to first day at Forks High School, home of the spartans. I'm not a psychic, but I saw it all coming. The attention, the whispers. I was the new kid on the block and everyone wanted a look. Mikayla took me to my first class. She was sweet, with wavy blonde hair that came down to her shoulders. Both her and her brother Mike, reminded me of puppy dogs, for some reason. She was obviously enjoying the limelight of showing the new kid around. I met a lot of people. Their names swirled around in my head. Another girl, I think her name was Jessica, sat with me Trig.

I found myself with a large group of kids in my grade at lunch.

"You must be Beaufort." A hand jutted out from the crowd.

I sighed, "Beau. Beaufort was my grandfather. I'm just Beau."

"Okay, 'just Beau.' I'm Jeremy." He laughed at his own joke. His sister Jessica scowled.

Ugh. Dad jokes are not just for dads anymore. If there was anything I found cute about Jeremy, he quickly squashed it out himself. Was this it? I felt like I was sitting with my whole grade crowded around the table, vying for my attention. Instinctually, I wanted to leave it. I wasn't a "crowds" type of person.

I looked around the lunch room once we sat down. Hoping to find a group that wasn't interested in the new kid. I saw them then. At a table across the room in the corner, sat five impossible students. Pale. Stunning. Perfect. Each one of them were incredibly attractive in their own way, but they all looked similar. My heart nearly skipped a beat. I felt my mouth make a small 'o' shape.

Jessica, who was annoyingly observant of me, followed my gaze.

"Those are the Cullens and Hales." She giggled.

"Who?" I responded while I still kept my eyes on the five students, greedily. There were two females, opposites of one another. The tall one, was blonde with perfect waves leaning down to her chest. She looked like an actress. People didn't just look like that in regular life. The smaller girl, her hair was short, in a spikey pixie cut and black as a raven. She got up from the table and threw her untouched food into the trash can. Was there a dance company in town, because no one just moved so rhythmically and hypnotically on their own, like a ballerina. The boy sitting beside her. . . no the man. He surely was too old to be a student looked pained. He had dusty blonde hair in a clean cut. His eyes were dark as he stared at nothing. For some reason, he reminded me of this action movie I saw a few weeks ago. The guy who played the main character who single handily mowed down hundreds of bad guys with a chainsaw wasn't believable. He was too charming, too Hollywood. If the character had been played by this guy, I would never have any doubts while watching the film.

The biggest one, his hair twisted in black curls looked too old to be here too. He was obviously the star athlete. He was the type of guy that had dibs on any weight machine. His muscles were clearly defined despite the layers of clothes on top. I rolled my eyes, but they got caught on the third male. The third god. His features were boyish, but his expression seemed old and ancient. His reddish-brown hair somehow seemed mettalic in the light. I wanted to run my fingers through his hair. His dark eyebrows, were thick and expressed some emotion I couldn't fathom. I was too far away to see any specific detail, but I guessed that no matter how I looked at him, he would be perfect at every angle. Inhumanely beautiful.

"The people you are ogling." Jessica rolled her eyes. "They live with Dr. Cullen. The two blondes, Jasper and Rosalie are like, their niece and nephew or something. Something happened to their parents so Dr. Cullen and his wife Esme took them in. They both work at the hospital. But before that they adopted Alice, the little one who just left and Emmett the big one, and. . . the one with red hair." Just then, he turned to look at us. I caught his eye. We stared at each other for a moment. His dark eyes did something to my body I couldn't quite describe. I couldn't breath. His lips pulled up into a one sided smirk, then his eyes released me and he stared back at nothing. Oh god. I whipped my head back to Jessica.

"Oh my god. Yeah, that was Edward." She giggled. "He's dreamy obviously. But apparently he's too good for any of the girls here." Her tone had a slight edge to it. I wondered when she had been turned down by him.

I nodded. Obviously he's too good for anyone here. Just look at him. I tried to peek around my shoulder for another glance, but he was looking my way again. Shit. He looked kind of frustrated, his eyebrows turned down.

"But they're all together." Jessica kept on. "Like. . . together together. Rosalie and Emmett and Alice and Jasper. They're a thing and they live together. Isn't that insane?"

I shrugged. "They're not related." I wanted to defend them. It was weird though. It would be gossip even in a more progressive town.

"Dr. Cullen is like some adoptive parent matchmaker." Logan chimed in. "If he knows more chicks like Rosalie. . . maybe he can adopt me to."

Mikala punched him in the arm. "Don't be gross."

"What?" Logan replied. "She's hot. Right, Mike?"

A boy named Mike I completely overlooked piped up. "Huh? Oh. Yeah. Rosalie? Hot."

Of course they would think Rosalie was most gorgeous. She was pretty. But there was something about Edward. He stood out to me above all of them. A God. Whoever he ended up marrying would be lucky and entirely unworthy.

Jessica rolled her eyes at Mike. She grabbed my arm meaningfully. "So what class do you have next?"

"Biology."

"Rats. I'm not in that one. I think Mike is though."

The bell rang then as if on queue and I followed Mikayla's brother to my next class.

"Hey, you must be Beaufort Swan." The teacher angled towards me when we walked in. "We've been looking forward to having you. Let's see. There's an empty seat next to Edward. We're starting chapter three today."

I gulped. Edward. The boy I was looking at in lunch. Of course. Of all the rotten luck in the world. The most gorgeous, untouchable guy in the world and I would have to sit next to him. Suffer in silence, I believe is the phrase?

I turned slowly towards the desk. There he was, a greek god. Edward Cullen. His bronze hair swept up like he just went running. He had on a leather jacket that hugged him in all the right places. Damn. Don't stare. Don't stare. Don't stare. He moved his things from what would be my side of the desk.

"Hi." I tried to say cooly.

Stiffly, he nodded, jaw tight towards my direction and then snapped his head back towards the front of the class.

Yikes. Do I smell?

I ruffled my hair with my left hand, while I tried to smell my armpit. Just to check. I heard his chair scoot further away from me. His hands were balled tightly on his lap.

Good job, Beau. First day of school, you've met the sexiest guy you've ever seen and he can't even look at me. Cool. Great. Awesome.

I didn't understand his reaction. Maybe it wasn't me. It couldn't have been. I'm a decent guy with superb hygeine. I had only said, "hi" to him. There was no way his pained and angry posture was because of me. Still though, I felt like it was my fault. I peeked up at him and his eyes were pitch black. I felt a small amount of fear well up in my stomach, but it settled back down. Nothing that beautiful should be so. . . scary.

When class ended, Edward zipped out of class so fast I barely saw it. It hurt. I don't know why. But it hurt.

Mike and Mikayla were waiting at the door. "Hey Beau. You have gym next right?"

"Oh yeah."

"Cool, I'll show you." Mikayla grabbed my arm and lead me off to my least favorite subject. This day was only getting better.

At the end of the day I went back to the office to hand in some paperwork. He was there. Edward.

He was speaking to the receptionist. His voice was even sexy. Damn. "I could take it next semester." His voice was pleading.

"Sorry, dear. But there isn't another class open in that period." The administrator responded.

He turned around and his eyes, black and dangerous stared daggers into me.

"I guess I'll just have to endure it." He said through gritted teeth as he brushed past me.

Well. That couldn't be a coincidence. This was definitely about me, right?

I don't know what I did. He acted like I killed his father and raped his sister. What's his deal?

I'm speechless as I hand in my paperwork and walk to my car. I reached the parking lot just in time to see a silver volvo speeding out of sight.

* * *

 **AN: Wow. I didn't expect anybody to read this. Thank you for following!**

 **There are lemons but it comes about naturally. It's a journey for these boys. So it makes it better. - Rosalie**


	2. Chapter 2: Decisions

Chapter 2: Decisions

Edward's POV

* * *

Alice touched my face softly before she and my other siblings got out of the car. "It'll be ok." She whispered. I knew she said it from a place of comfort, not one of her visions.

I had to tear myself away from them. I didn't know when I would see them again. Neither could Alice see it either. The future was shifting constantly and it was all my fault. The rest of my siblings were confused but I didn't have time to explain. Alice would clue them in later. They got out of the car expectantly and then I whip tailed around and headed for the hospital. I needed to say goodbye in person.

"Hello, Edward, dear." Mandy at the front desk called to me as I walked into the hospital. She smiled in a flirtatious way.

"Is Carlisle around?" I asked out of courtesy. I was already heading through the double doors towards his office. Her response was already out of ear shot for a human.

Esme and Carlisle were both in his office. She just recently got her license as a registered nurse. We were all so proud. Carlisle most of all. They were currently wrapped up in an embrace.

"I'm leaving." I barked out while I slammed the door open, the hinges broke off and I stead the door on the wall inside. Careful, Edward. Stay in control.

"What?" Esme unwrapped her arms from her husband. "What do you mean?" They both ignored the door situation.

"I'm sorry. I have to go." I couldn't look at them. My eyes were trained on the floor. "There's a boy. The Swan boy. I. . . I can't. He smells. . . too good." I was trying to explain but his scent was fresh in my mind. My eyes rolled back. The monster inside was urging me to find him. Find him. Drink him. The vision Alice saw in the car flashed again in my mind. Beau in his kitchen, getting something out of the fridge. Me lurking in the corner and rising up behind him. He wouldn't even make a sound. Beau's body limp in my clutches, a small stream of blood running down his neck. My tongue lapping it up.

I shuddered with desire. "I have to go." My voice was raspier than before. "It's too much. I nearly slaughtered an entire class today. I can't stay here."

"Where will you go?" Carlisle asked, his eyes full of concern.

"I don't know. Maybe Alaska. I don't know. I just need to leave."

He handed me his keys. "My car is faster and there's a full tank of gas. Take it."

"Is there another way?" Esme tried to grab for me. Her thoughts were pleading for me to stay but Carlisle held her back.

I couldn't bare to say goodbye.

 _-I love you. Be careful.-_ Esme thought for me as I sped away out of Forks.

Beau's face was all I could see. I was buried under a couple of feet of snow. When I had called and asked the Denali family if I could visit, they were a little shocked but of course they welcomed me. I couldn't return the favor. I only said my hellos and thank yous and then I ran to a secluded part of the forest and launched myself deep into the snow. It's been a few days since then. I've hunted. The taste of the elk was almost repulsive but I drank it. I felt better. Stronger. Perhaps because I was so far away, I couldn't imagine an insignificant child could cause so much disarray. Who was he to put a wedge between me and my family. Everyone knows that out of my family, I'm the strongest besides Carlisle. Esme was getting stronger too, but she still couldn't be around bloody patients for too long. Rosalie was good, but she never put herself in those situations. But I had the will of a giant. I haven't been tempted by a human since I was new and rebelling. Why was Beau different? I couldn't shake his face away from my mind's eye.

I heard her coming.

 _-Edward?-_ She called. Tanya. Strawberry blonde curls, a perfect face, a fantastic body. She was exquisite.- _Cannon ball.-_ She launched herself into the snowbank next to me. A blizzard of snow fell around me. I shook it off and laughed with Tanya.

"Irina and Kate think I should leave you alone. They think I'm annoying you."

"I'm the one being rude. I'm sorry. I'm abominably rude."

 _-You're going home aren't you?-_ Her mouth twisted down into a frown.

"I haven't decided anything."

 _-Is it me?-_

"No. Of course not." I lied.

 _-Don't be a gentleman. I make you uncomfortable.-_

"Tanya, it's not you. It's me." I winced but it was true. "I don't feel the same as you do."

She sighed and wrapped her arms around her legs.

"Tanya. You're unfathomably lovelier than the stars. You know that. Don't let me undermine your confidence."

"I'm not used to rejection." She pouted. A flurry of images of men came to her mind. I winced trying to keep her privacy, but failing all the same. Could I tell her my interests were . . . the same as hers?

"Is there another woman?" She asked, not even trying to keep a tone of jealousy at bay.

"No." I said sternly. I sighed. Perhaps I should tell Tanya. Then maybe she would stop trying. The only person I ever told was Alice, and subsequently Jasper. I didn't want the rest of my family to know. It didn't seem worth the effort.

"Will you tell me what the issue is then?"

"I'm not sure. I want to but, but" I made my mind up. "Listen Tanya. I'm about to tell you something, but you can't tell anyone else, okay. It'll be our secret."

Her eyes brightened up. She loved the idea of keeping something secret with me. She wasn't going to love what I would say next.

"I'm not interested in women, Tanya." I said the words slowly, measuredly.

A beat past.

"Oh." Dawning realization colored her face and thoughts. "Oh." - _You're gay?-_

"Yes." I shifted in spot.

"Oh. Well, that makes sense." She laughed and punched my shoulder. "Why didn't you say anything sooner. I could have saved myself a lot of embarrassment." It was like a new day.

"I'm not used to being open about that. I never really needed to. I grew up in a time where that, that part of me wasn't accepted."

"Huh."- _So, is this about a boy, then?-_ Her eyebrows arched and she grinned wickedly.

"Not like that." I groaned. Beau's face still obstructed my view.

 _-But you are leaving soon. Will you go back to Carlisle?-_

"I'm not sure. I don't know."

 _-Wait, is the issue Carlisle?-_

"No, no, of course not."

 _-So he knows.-_

I groaned and covered my face. "No he doesn't know but he's not the problem."

 _-Oh, I thought maybe he knew and didn't approve.-_

My greatest fear.

 _-It's stupid really though. It's Carlisle, the most understanding person in the world.-_

She was right. Carlisle was a great man, I just wasn't ready yet.

"It's not that." I sighed.

 _-Well whatever it is, you'll figure it out. You're loyal through and through. You're a good guy, Edward.-_

Tanya touched my arm and kissed my cheek.

 _-If I don't see you again. . . goodbye.-_

"Goodbye, Tanya." She gave me what I needed. The strength and will to face my own problems, for my family and for myself. I was going back to Forks and I was going to face Beau again and not be defeated by my inner monster.

When I pulled up to the house Esme and Alice were waiting on the front steps.

They hugged me simultaneously. Their thoughts were a flurry of "I missed you" and "we were so worried" and "it'll be okay."

I could tell I had hurt Esme the most. That was the worst. I vowed never to leave my mom again unless under dire circumstances. My family were good people. Good people that cared about me. Perhaps I never should have left to begin with. Surely, Beau wasn't so enticing. I was starving that day. I wouldn't be so reckless again.

Carlisle shook my hand once I got inside. I hugged him. I was feeling very emotional. Jasper appeared from the shadows. He was enjoying this. He loved a good reunion. Plus, for the first time since he and Alice joined our family. Everyone's concern over resisting our vampire nature was focused on me. Not him.

I was about to ask where Rosalie and Emmett were, but I could hear them in their room making love. God forbid their prodigal brother returns home and interrupts them.

Carlisle stepped forward. "I hope I did the right thing. Sending you away. I'm sorry if you felt like I didn't trust you. I've been worried that perhaps I should have-"

"No, Carlisle. I'm glad. You helped me do what I needed to in the moment. Thank you."

"So." Alice piped up. "What are you going to do."

As if she needed me to tell her.

"I'm going to school tomorrow. I'm going to sit next to the boy. And I'm going to overcome it. I have to. I'm not letting this boy come between me and my family again."

Esme rubbed my arm soothingly.

Jasper eyed me. - _Are you sure? You'll be putting not just yourself but everyone at risk. Is it worth it?-_

"My mind's made up." I responded. "I'm going to go hunt now, just to be safe. Would anyone like to join?" I was already headed out the back door. Jasper and Esme followed me out. We got back before the sun rose up.

After a morning of playfully throwing snowballs at each other, we huddled around our usual table at lunch. Emmett looked on guard. Rosalie was wary. Jasper was tense as usual. Alice kept shifting in an out of our reality trying to see the latest most accurate future.

"It's fine." I hissed. This was ridiculous. I suddenly felt sympathy for Jasper. All those years we hovered over him.

 _-Annoying, isn't it.-_ Jasper thought towards me. I nodded.

 _-They're coming in.-_ Alice warned me. I held my breath unnecessarily.

"What is he thinking?" Emmett asked. "Does he suspect anything?" - _You looked terrifying that day. He had to say something to somebody.-_

I reached out again but only found a dead spot where Beau was sitting. I shifted through the minds of the friends he had made. Not one mention of the Cullen's on their mind. I found myself frustrated again at my inability to read his mind. This made things much harder.

"Well?" Rosalie asked.

"I can't hear him." I finally admitted.

"What do you mean you can't hear him?" Jasper's brows furrowed.

"His thoughts. . . I can't. There's nothing. Not even silence. I can't read him." Unease spread throughout the table. "But, he must not have said anything. No one is concerned about us at all."

I ignored the onslaught of thoughts about why I couldn't read his mind. It was my job to be the lookout. It frustrated me enough without my siblings chiming in on the matter.

"Has that happened before?" Alice questioned.

"Never." I sighed. What luck. The boy that would be my undoing if I wasn't careful enough and I couldn't read his thoughts.

I focused both my hearing and my mental efforts towards the boy. I should stop referring to him as "the boy" as if he were the only one in existence. Beau. My mind wrapped around the name in an unfamiliar way. I shook it off to concentrate on the group standing in line.

His cheeks were pooled with pink rosy blood. I snapped the edge piece of the chair I was sitting on off. "Oops." I grimaced and Emmett laughed.

"You look sick, bro."

Jeremy was wondering aloud about the boy's lack of appetite. "Aren't you hungry?"

"Actually, I feel a little sick." His voice was lower, but still very clear. Why did it bother me, the protective concern that suddenly emanated from Mikayla Newton's thoughts? What did it matter that there was a possessive edge to them? It wasn't my business if Mikayla Newton felt unnecessarily anxious for him. Perhaps this was the way everyone responded to him. Hadn't I wanted, instinctively, to protect Beau, too? Before I'd wanted to kill him, that is...

But was the boy ill? It was hard to judge.

He looked so delicate with his translucent skin. Then I realized that I was worrying, too, just like that dimwitted girl and I forced myself not to think about his health. But how could I not?

Regardless, I didn't like monitoring Beau through Mikayla's thoughts. I switched to Jeremy's, watching carefully as the three of them choose which table to sit at.

"He's going to look this way soon. Act human." Alice whispered.

She had orchestrated a small snowball fight. We were still grinning and slightly wet with slush balls when I heard Jessica's thoughts. - _He's staring at the Cullen's again.-_

Automatically my head swiveled to the voice. I looked past Jessica and found Beau's sky blue eyes trained on me. He blushed and looked away quickly. He ruffled his hair like he did in class. A nervous tick, perhaps. It was. . . adorable, I found myself thinking. But also dangerous. He kicked up a lot of scent in the classroom. I would have to make sure to make him feel more comfortable this time. I didn't want to make him nervous.

"Woah." I heard Jessica say. "Edward is staring at you."

"Does he look angry?" Beau answered through his hands on his face. I grinned. I guess I had made an impression. I was still concentrating on the boy. Trying to read his mind.

"Um, no. Should he?" Jessica was confused.

"I don't think he likes me." Beau chuckled slightly. He thought it was funny.

"Oh the Cullen's don't like anyone." Jess reassured him. "Well, they don't notice anybody enough to like them." They never used to. Her thought was a grumble of complaint. "But he's still staring at you."

I couldn't help it. I didn't want to look away. For days, Beau's face was all I could see in my head. Now I could look at the real thing. He was. . . handsome. For a human, I added. I understood why the girls around him acted like fools, trying to get his attention. I realized that I liked looking at him too. There was a certain charm in his face and how he carried himself.

"Girl, stop looking." Beau retorted back to Jessica. We both grinned. I'm not sure why I was smiling though.

The hour past and Beau never looked at our table again though I think he wanted to. His head would snap over and then stop suddenly, as if he was catching himself. I had to decipher that through body language alone. How maddening to now know his thoughts.

The cafeteria had started to empty out but I stayed in my seat.

My family stayed with me. They were wondering what I was going to do. Sit next to Beau or bail.

Alice reassured me that I was going to be okay.

"I know that."

"Why push it, Edward?" Jasper asked. Though he didn't want to feel smug that I was the one who was weak now. I could hear that he did, just a little. "Go home. Take it slow."

"What's the big deal?" Emmett disagreed. "Either he will or he won't kill him. Might as well get it over with, either way."

"I don't want to move yet," Rosalie complained. "I don't want to start over. We're almost out of high school, Emmett. Finally."

I was evenly torn on the decision. I wanted, wanted badly, to face this head on rather than running away again. But I didn't want to push myself too far, either. It had been a mistake last week for Jasper to go so long without hunting; was this just as pointless a mistake?

I didn't want to uproot my family. None of them would thank me for that. But I wanted to go to my biology class. I realized that I wanted to see his face again.

That's what decided it for me. That curiosity. I was angry with myself for feeling it. Hadn't I promised myself that I wouldn't let the silence of the boy's mind make me unduly interested in him? And yet, here I was, most unduly interested.

I wanted to know what he was thinking. Beau's mind was closed, but his eyes were very open. Perhaps I could read them instead.

"No, Rose, I think it really will be okay," Alice said. "It's...firming up. I'm Ninety -three percent sure that nothing bad will happen if he goes to class." She looked at me inquisitively, wondering what had changed in my thoughts that made her vision of the future more secure.

Would curiosity be enough to keep Beau Swan alive?

"See you after school." I addressed to all of them as I hiked my backpack on. "Going to class." I winked at Alice. She positively dripped with questions.

He was doodling when I got to class. I noisily pushed my chair back, alerting him that I was here. Humans like to hear people approach.

"Hello." I said in what I hoped was cheery, non threatening tone.

He looked up then. His blue eyes piercing into mine. I was already holding my breath but this stopped me up short. I wasn't used to being looked at by humans so. . . intimately. He had a bewildered curiosity look. "Hi." He responded. His cheeks filled with blood. I smashed my thumb into my palm. What was he embarrassed about now?

"My name is Edward." I continued on what little breath I still had. "I didn't have a chance to introduce myself last week. You must be Beau."

His thick eyebrows knit together.

"How do you know my name?"

I laughed gently. "Everyone knows your name."

"No. They know me as Beaufort. I think Charlie-my dad calls me that behind my back. I've had to correct every single person. I go by Beau. Just Beau. But you already knew that."

"Oh." I said lamely and quickly faced the front.

I slipped up. He caught it. It was very astute of him. He picked up on that difference so quickly. I felt a pang of unease.


	3. Chapter 3: Biology

Chapter 3: Biology

Beau's POV

* * *

What the flip. I felt erratic, or neurotic. Perhaps both. Edward Cullen, the mystery man, looked like he wanted to kill me one second, then greeted me kindly the next. Hot and cold and too much to handle. My nerves were a wreck.

I had already done our in class assignment so I took charge of it. After all, Edward did go awol last week. He lost any authority over class assignments. I didn't want him to slow me down, either. I was startled when he asked to check my work. I chuckled. "Sure, go ahead."

"Anaphase." Edward said cooly. A smirk on his lips, his eyes were still tight though.

"Like I said." I rolled my eyes. He probably thinks he's mister big shot. All the good looking straight ones are.

He put in another slide. "Prophase." He stated and wrote it down in a flawless script. His handwriting was impeccable. Like, old school caligraphers. Did he get training in that? Is that still a thing? Still, I was mesmerized by his loping 'p's' and 'o's'.

"Mind if I check?" Could I have asked that with less bite?

His crooked smile grew. Damn.

"Prophase." I concurred.

"Like I said." Edward threw my words back at me.

Okay. Now I see what I have on my hands. Edward could be a bit of a smart ass. I bit back a smile.

We finished the lab before anyone else. Only speaking to each other one word at a time.

The silence grew when we finished. He looked at me again and I tried to be brave and greedy and stare back. Something was different about him from last time. He didn't seem as pale. The dark bruises under his eyes were less prominent. I blurted out, "Did you get contacts?"

"No." He spat back.

"Oh. You're eyes are different colors."

He didn't respond. Just then, Mr. Banner stopped by our table. "Did you already finish?" He looked at our completed work sheet.

"Yes sir," I replied. We had thirty minutes left of class. Great.

"Edward, did you let Beau work on it too?"

"Yes, Mr. Banner. Beau did most of it actually. I just wrote the answers down."

"Oh." He said a little taken aback. "Have you done this lab before, Mr. Swan?"

"Not with onion root." I replied politely. I was hoping that I didn't have to explain myself and my advanced placement in the last school.

"Well then. I'm glad you two are partners." Mr. Banner stalked off back to the front of the classroom.

We're partners. Partners. My insides squirmed in ways they never have before. Oh no. Oh no. Not here. Not with him. I was beginning to fall for Edward Cullen against my wishes.

"It's too bad about the snow." Edward commented on the weather. I could tell he was trying to make an effort to combat his odd behavior last week.

"Not really." I replied back icily. I wasn't going to play nice. I put up pretenses all day. I wasn't going to with Edward. Perhaps I was too aggressive. He cocked his head to the side.

"You don't like the cold."

I laughed. "Or the wet."

"Forks must be a difficult place for you." He surmised.

"You have no idea." I replied bitterly. I sat back in my chair and folded my arms across my chest. "Why are you here?" He asked bluntly. There was a hint of anger in his tone. I couldn't begin to know where to unpack all the layers in his voice.

"It's complicated." Why was I even trying to talk to him? If he pressed on again, I knew I would spill my guts. There was something. . . trustworthy I felt in Edward. That was dangerous.

I decided that I was going to control the conversation before it reared off the path.

"My mom remarried."

"That doesn't seem that complicated."

I shrugged.

"You don't like the new guy?" He pushed. Why was he so interested? I wanted him to drop it. I didn't want him to know me more. It would make it too hard. But I couldn't say no to him. I was sure of that.

"No. Phil's great."

"So what's the problem."

I was getting irrationally angry at the barrage of questions and my stupid inability to say no.

"The problem is, its none of your business." The words came out harsher than I meant. Edward looked down and I could tell he was taken aback.

I sighed and shook my hair out. "Sorry. I didn't mean to . . . That was rude. It's just been kind of a rough week." I cupped my hands on my face and rubbed them down. "I didn't move here because I love Forks. I came here because I love my mom. She was running around between me and Phil because he travels a lot. And that was really hard for her. She hated being away from Phil but I couldn't travel with them. It was making her unhappy. So I moved here."

"But now you're unhappy." He seemed to be genuinely interested, which floored me.

"And?" I sighed.

"That doesn't seem fair."

I laughed blackly. "Well, life hasn't exactly handed me a fair hand. Ever." I didn't have a normal childhood. I wasn't a normal child. I was always on the outskirts, in my own league I created for myself.

I could see him about to ask a follow up question. I didn't want to answer it.

"Look. It's fine. I'm fine. Are you?" I stared into his eyes. They were still tight, unfathomable. I could get lost in them. "You want to tell me where you were last week?"

"No." He said curtly.

It didn't surprise me but the hypocrisy of our conversation wasn't lost on me.

"Didn't think so." I whispered.

"You put on a good show." Edward commented.

"What does that mean?"

"You don't let people see how much you are actually suffering."

I shook my head and ruffled my hair again. Damn. How was I supposed to respond to that? Who was he to make these conclusions?

"Am I wrong?" He pushed.

"Why do you care?" I stared back into his eyes. They were golden and I wanted to drown in them.

"That's a good question." He murmured to himself. "Am I annoying you?"

"Yes." I stated. "Well no." I shook it out. "I'm not used to. . . I'm usually very private." I leaned forward in my chair and began doodling on the paper again. "But my face is so easy to read. My mom calls me her open book."

He laughed. "That's funny. I think you're very difficult to read."

"You must not be good at reading people then."

"On the contrary." A smile played on Edward's lips and I had to focus very hard to not stare at them. "I would like to think I'm pretty good at it, normally."

"Just not me?" I wanted to clarify, incredulous.

"Yes, you seem to be the exception." He whispered darkly. A smile creeped on his face, his lips pulled back to reveal a brilliant smile.

I was getting some very confusing vibes from Edward. I let myself think for a second that maybe he was as gay as I was. _His lips on mine_. . . No no. That's a dangerous train of thought. I blushed and turned away. God, what is wrong with me.

Class ended then. Saved by the bell, I gathered my things up quickly. Taking great pains to make sure I didn't look at Edward. He seemed to be content with ignoring me too. He jumped out of his seat at the first opportunity and ran just like the first day.

Mikayla and Jessica nearly attacked me when I got to gym.

"You talked to Edward? What was he like? What did he say? What did you say? Did you mention us?"

"What?" I responded. "Why would. . . I. We just introduced ourselves. He's nice enough, I guess." I stuttered. He's confusing and impossible and lovely, is what I really wanted to say.

They gushed about him some more. I found this infuriating. That didn't help me with my tennis swing though. I ended up whacking my elbow on someone else's racket and my racket hit Mikayla in the head. I walked out of gym a little worse for wear.

When I got to the parking lot, it was raining. I stared up at the sky and grimaced. No, I didn't like the cold or the wet. I thought I saw Edward walking past my car but it wasn't him. It was his. . . brother? Jasper? And Alice behind him. Alice turned to look at me, her eyes focused and unfocused. She grinned and grabbed Jasper's arm and lead him out to the silver volvo. I followed their movements. Edward was leaning casually by the driver's side. His eyes on me. I suppressed a shiver. I crossed my arms and stared back. A mexican stand off. I wasn't going to give in this time. But then Mikayla came up behind me and wrapped her hands around my eyes.

"Guess who!" She squealed with too much enthusiasim. I frowned in response.

"Hey, Mikayla." The sigh that escaped couldn't be hidden. I wiggled away from her grasp. "I have to go. See you tomorrow."

I risked another glance back at Edward. He was still looking. A small frown on his lips no. I rolled my eyes. What's his deal? I got into my car and swung it in reverse.


	4. Chapter 4: The Accident

Chapter 4: The Accident

* * *

 _Edward's POV_

* * *

Why was Beau so . . . intriguing? I shouldn't be so interested in him. I should stay away but I just find myself wanting to know him more and more. To talk to him. To see his eyes. To hear him answer questions and try to interpret his true meaning. This was a dangerous game. But I didn't want to stop playing.

I was pissed at Jasper.

"Stay away from him." I growled when we got back to the house.

"It's not the end of the world if you slip up. Everyone makes mistakes." He shrugged.

"I don't." Rosalie mused, pridefully.

I rolled my eyes. "I can do this you guys. I _am_ doing it. It's fine."

I was not having this conversation again.

I stalked off into the forest. I decided to hunt again. I didn't need to but I wanted there to be no reason for any lapse of self control. When I came back, I sat at my piano for hours. Not playing a single key. Esme eyed me from the kitchen, a small frown on her face.

The last time she saw me this tortured, I left for ten years on a crusade against our way of life. I hated that my behavior reminded her of that time.

"It's not the same." I said, quietly so only she could hear. "It's not like that was. I'll never leave like that again." It was a horrible time in all our lives.

 _-I know_.- Esme, the most understanding and supportive mother in the world. - _You don't have to go to school. You can stay here. We can say I'm home schooling you.-_

I smiled at her and crossed into the kitchen and hugged her. She felt soft like a mother should despite the hardness our bodies became.

"This is going to sound crazy." I whispered into her shoulder. "But I'm actually kind of. . . looking forward to school."

"Why?" Esme knew how much school was our own purgatory.

I shrugged and gave a half smile. "He's kind of. . . fascinating. I don't know." I ran a hand through my hair, not unlike the move Beau does when he is flustered. "I think that's a good thing though. Getting to know him would be better for me. More of a reason not to. . . to give in." I shuddered. "It's just a year or two more and he'll move away."

Esme eyed me suspiciously but she trained her thoughts on her job and left me alone to go change for school.

I imagined Beau a few years from now. A college student, eyes bright with knowledge and freedom. Perhaps he had a girlfriend. . . or several. He would grow up. Get married. I could picture it. He was standing at the altar wearing a tux, smiling at the bride walking down the aisle. I didn't understand the pain this image caused me. Was I jealous? Beau could have the life I never could. Was that what all this was? I was jealous of his humanity?

I pondered this as we made our way to school. I found myself listening to Alice's new vision. I was laying in the sun, my skin sparking in a meadow. A figure beside me. It kept shifting in and out. A vague picture, the details not fully drawn in.

"I didn't understand that one." I spoke to Alice. She held her hands to her forehead.

"Me neither. Something is changing though. Your future is at a crossroads. Somethings happening." She jumped out of the car, as frustrated as I was. My siblings just looked at each other. They got really tired of these types of conversations.

We started to walk in together. I could hear Beau's truck coming from a mile away. I found myself stopped on the sidewalk glued to his movements. He parked close to my car. Perhaps he would walk this way. Would he come talk to me? I took a deep breath just in case. He was looking at his back tires a strange smile on his face. Emotions of gratitude flickered on his smile. I vowed to ask him about that moment later during biology.

I heard Alice's sharp gasp before I saw the vision. I was worried that I was the cause, but it wasn't me this time. It was Taylor in an out of control van. In just a moment there would be van barreling towards Beau and he would be crushed.

I acted before I even thought it through. I didn't hesitate. "Not him!" I shouted into the wind as I threw myself across the parking lot moving so fast that everything blurred except what I was focused on: Beau. I placed myself between him and the van. I grabbed him by the waist and pulled him out of the way. I didn't have time to think about the way his body felt in my hands and how it easily bent to my will. The car changed direction and it was coming for him again. "Fuck." I slipped, while I grabbed the bumper and pushed it up while my other hand pulled Beau's legs out from danger. Perhaps Beau didn't see me the first time, but he would have seen this. I turned my attention to him. Everything had happened so fast, I wasn't sure if he was okay. He hit his head when I moved him out of the way the first time.

"Are you okay?" I sat next to him. The warmth from his skin was radiating. I was all too aware of how close were were and how tight the space we sat in was. There wasn't any blood. Not from Beau, at least. I could smell Taylor's arms bleeding. That didn't bother me. If Beau were bleeding, however, nothing could stop me. I wasn't worried about that now. I was just concerned about Beau. He was scared. His eyes open in shock. His lips open in a gasp.

"I'm fine." He whispered. A strange urge to cradle him in my arm overtook me, I shook it off and slid further away.

He started to get up. I carefully laid my hand on his shoulder, stopping him. "Be careful. You hit your head."

"Ow." He responded as he just realized this as well. I was worried about a possible concussion, but I could tell from here, that Beau was okay. I could have laughed in relief.

"How did you get here so fast?"

The relief turned sour.

"I was standing next to you, Beau." I said carefully.

"No you were on the other end of the parking lot. And you stopped the van with your hands."

"Don't be dumb. That's impossible. I was standing next to you and pulled you out of the way." His eyes, full of wonder, narrowed into slits as I continued. "You hit your head. You don't know what you're talking about."

He didn't say anything else. His defined eyebrows pinched together in a v. I knew he saw me. I knew he saw too much. This was not a good situation for my family or for Beau.

Beau struggled to move again but I held him down. "Let me go." He hissed. There was a look of distrust in his eye that surprised me. It almost hurt. I let him sit up then. "I know what I saw." He said, an edge to it. "You were over there."

"Please Beau." I begged. I was on my knees, my palms on the ground in front of him. I needed him to trust me. He's the most dangerous person to my family and I needed him to cooperate. His life was at risk.

There was a change in his expression. His eyes softened. He looked like he wanted to reach out to me. His hand reaching for my face. I stiffened in shock. He withdrew the hand and my heart ached.

The voices of the students converging on us filled the space now. Questions and screams echoed around the parking lot.

"I'm okay." Beau called out. "Edward and I are okay."

I felt something in my chest do a backflip at the phrase "Edward and I." I needed to get out of here.

Beau swiveled his head towards me. "You were next to me. But you owe me an explanation." I could have shriveled up in that moment.

Beau and I didn't speak for the rest of the morning. The ambulance came and carried him into the hospital on a gourney. I knew the medic and he let me ride up front. When they put the neck brace on Beau, I couldn't help my wicked grin. He hated it so much, I loved it.

I briefly glanced at my siblings as we left. Their thoughts ranged from confusion to anger. Rosalie was screaming at me. Emmett thought I was an idiot but he vowed to destroy any evidence I left on the cars. Jasper was reserved, but I feared his thoughts the most.

I couldn't worry about them know. I had my own problem to deal with. Beau. I had only two concerns.

Beau was fine. His head was bruised, but there was no concussion. That was my first concern. I felt relief rock through me.

The second concern was if he would buy my story; If he would play along. I had exposed us to the most vulnerable human in Forks. My family was in danger. Carlisle said I did the right thing and that we would move if we had to. I believed him. I couldn't imagine letting that car smash him. If I could go back in time, I wouldn't change a thing. I wouldn't change it even if our secret did get out. But Beau played along. He didn't owe me that. Relief washed through me again.

It occurred to me that I would have to distance myself now from him. He would have too many questions that I could never answer. I was just getting to. . . be what? Friends? I'm not sure, but I had to break that off. The idea of distancing myself agonized me more than I thought it would.

Beau and I had an argument in the hallway after Carlisle gave him the all clear. I'll never forget the anger in his face as I said "I hope you enjoy disappointment" before I walked away. I felt an emptiness grow. I thought I was a monster before, but I just confirmed it. It was at least a monster I could live with. . . a monster that kept Beau alive.

Emmett warned me back at school about Jasper's plans. He was planning on taking care of Beau himself. Anger flashed through me. I almost confronted Jasper then and there. I imagined dragging him out of his physics class and fighting him in the parking lot. We had only fought once. A real fight. I had won, but just barely. He would have taken me, if it was a fair fight, but I never fought fairly. Jasper had always secretly wanted a rematch, if he continued to persist in taking out Beau, I would have no choice but to oblige.

But Jasper wasn't going to make a move until we all talked. I could wait too. A fight was coming. I could handle it. I could take on Emmett too, if it came to that. I might be able to take on Jasper again. I wouldn't let him touch Beau. I knew what I had to do. I, of all the people in the world, was Beau's protector. Perhaps I would kidnap him. Could I do that? I vowed if it was my only option. . . I would do anything to save Beau. Even from myself but right now, I wasn't worried about me.

We gathered in the dining room. Everyone was there. Carlisle sat at the head. Esme by his side. Carlisle, the moral compass of us all, I knew he would agree with me. I sat on his other side and invisible lines were being drawn.

Esme's compassionate eyes on me. - _Stay.-_

She had no idea what was about to happen she was just worried about me. Carlisle had a better idea of the situation.

Rosalie glided to the opposite end of the table. She stared daggers at me. Emmett sat by her side.

Jasper stalked in. He didn't sit down. I saw his mind. He was set. No matter the outcome of our discussion he knew what he was going to do. My jaw locked tight.

Alice slipped in last. Her hands rubbing her forehead. Without seeming to think about it she sat next to Esme. I heard Jasper hesitate. Should he sit next to her? He wavered for a moment but stayed on the wall.

I took a deep breath. I had started this, I should speak first.

"I'm sorry," I said, looking first at Rose, then Jasper and then Emmett. "I didn't mean to put any of you at risk. It was thoughtless, and I take full responsibility for my hasty action."

Rosalie glared at me balefully. "What do you mean, 'take full responsibility'? Are you going to fix it?"

"Not the way you mean," I said, working to keep my voice even and quiet. "I'm willing to leave now, if that makes things better." If I believe that the boy will be safe, if I believe that none of you will touch him, I amended in my head.

"No," Esme murmured. "No, Edward."

I patted her hand. "It's just a few years."

"Esme's right, though," Emmett said. "You can't go anywhere now. That would be the opposite of helpful. We have to know what people are thinking, now more than ever."

"Alice will catch anything major," I disagreed.

Carlisle shook his head. "I think Emmett is right, Edward. The boy will be more likely to talk if you disappear. It's all of us leave, or none of us."

"He won't say anything," I insisted quickly. Rose was building up to the explosion, and I wanted this fact out there first.

"You don't know his mind," Carlisle reminded me.

"I know this much. Alice, back me up."

Alice stared up at me wearily. "I can't see what will happen if we just ignore this." She glanced at Rose and Jasper. No, she couldn't see that future, not when Rosalie and Jasper were so decided on their plan. Rosalie's palm smacked down on the table with a loud bang. "We can't allow the human a chance to say anything. Carlisle, you must see that. Even if we decided to all disappear, it's not safe to leave stories behind us. We live so differently from the rest of our kind — you know there are those who would love an excuse to point fingers. We have to be more careful than anyone else!"

"We've left rumors behind us before," I reminded her.

"Just rumors and suspicions, Edward. Not eyewitnesses and evidence!"

"Evidence!" I scoffed.

But Jasper was nodding, his eyes hard.

"Rose —" Carlisle began.

"Let me finish, Carlisle. It doesn't have to be any big production. The boy hit his head today. So maybe that injury turns out to be more serious that it looked." Rosalie

shrugged. "Every mortal goes to sleep with the chance of never waking up. The others would expect us to clean up after ourselves. Technically, that would make it Edward's job, but this is obviously beyond him. You know I'm capable of control. I would leave no evidence behind me."

I snarled. A ferocious growl echoing deep.

"Edward, please," Carlisle said. Then he turned to Rosalie. "Rosalie, I looked the other way in Rochester because I felt that you were owed your justice. The men you killed had wronged you monstrously. This is not the same situation. The Swan boy is an innocent."

"It's not personal, Carlisle," Rosalie said through her teeth. "It's to protect us all."

There was a brief moment of silence while Carlisle thought through his answer.

When he nodded, Rosalie's eyes lit up. She should have known better. Even if I hadn't been able to read his thoughts, I could have anticipated his next words. Carlisle never compromised. "I know you mean well, Rosalie, but...I'd like very much for our family to be Worth protecting. The occasional...accident or lapse in control is a regrettable part of who we are." It was very like him to include himself in the plural, though he had never had such a lapse himself. "To murder a blameless child in cold blood is another thing entirely. I believe the risk he presents, whether he speaks his suspicions or not, is nothing to the greater risk. If we make exceptions to protect ourselves, we risk something much more important. We risk losing the essence of who we are."

I controlled my expression very carefully. It wouldn't do at all to grin. Or to applaud, as I wished I could.

Rosalie scowled. "It's just being responsible."

"It's being callous," Carlisle corrected gently. "Every life is precious."

Rosalie sighed heavily and her lower lip pouted out. Emmett patted her shoulder.

"It'll be fine, Rose," he encouraged in a low voice.

"The question," Carlisle continued, "is whether we should move on?"

"No," Rosalie moaned. "We just got settled. I don't want to start on my sophomore year in high school again!"

"You could keep your present age, of course," Carlisle said.

"And have to move again that much sooner?" She countered.

Carlisle shrugged.

"I like it here! There's so little sun, we get to be almost normal."

"Well, we certainly don't have to decide now. We can wait and see if it becomes necessary. Edward seems certain of the Swan boy's silence."

Rosalie snorted. But I was no longer worried about Rose. I could see that she would go along with Carlisle's decision, no matter how infuriated she was with me. Their conversation had moved on to unimportant details.

Jasper remained unmoved.

I understood why. Before he and Alice had met, he'd lived in a combat zone, a relentless theater of war. He knew the consequences of flouting the rules. He'd seen the grisly aftermath with his own eyes. It said much that he had not tried to calm Rosalie down with his extra faculties, nor did he now try to rile her up. He was holding himself aloof from this discussion. Above it.

"Jasper," I hissed. He met my gaze, his face expressionless. "Beau won't pay for my mistake. I won't allow that."

"He benefits from it, then? He should have died today, Edward. I would only set that right."

I repeated myself, emphasizing each word. "I will not allow it."

His eyebrows shot up. He wasn't expecting this. He hadn't imagined that I would act to stop him.

"I don't fight fairly, Jasper." I reminded him with a low but deadly voice. "If you want to hurt Beau, you'll have to get through me first."

He cocked his head to the side. _-Why? Why are you protecting him?-_ He shook his head once. "I won't let Alice live in danger, even a slight danger. You don't feel about anyone the way I feel about her, Edward, and you haven't lived through what I've lived through, whether you've seen my memories or not. You don't understand."

"I'm not disputing that, Jasper." I worked to stop the cringe from escaping. My family was usually so careful not to mention my perpetual bachelorhood. But Jasper wielded that fact now like a weapon. "But I'm telling you now, I won't allow you to hurt Beaufort Swan." My tone was even and calculating.

We stared at each other, not glaring, but measuring the opposition. I felt him sample the mood around me, testing my determination.

"Jazz," Alice said, interrupting us.

He held my gaze for a moment more, and then looked at her. "Don't bother telling me you can protect yourself, Alice. I already know that. I've still got to—"

"That's not what I'm going say," Alice interrupted. "I was going to ask you for a favor."

I saw what was on her mind, and my mouth fell open with an audible gasp. I stared at her, shocked, only vaguely aware that everyone besides Alice and Jasper was now eyeing me warily.

"I know you love me. Thanks. But I would really appreciate it if you didn't try to kill Beau. First of all, Edward's serious and I don't want you two fighting. Secondly, he's my friend. At least, he's going to be."


	5. Chapter 5: Out of the Closet

Chapter 5: Out of the Closet

* * *

Edward's POV

* * *

Alice spoke to Jasper. "I would really appreciate it if you didn't try to kill Beau. First of all, Edward's serious and I don't want you two fighting. Secondly, he's my friend. At least, he's going to be."

The vision was rock solid. Only the timing of it was up to change, but this was a keystone vision. Beau, his arm locked around Alice's. Alice laughing. A joke on Beau's tongue. They were so close. They weren't just friends. They would be best friends. Closer than I was to Alice. Beau and Alice as thick as thieves and they were so happy. The vision was so strong. I felt a sudden pang of jealousy. She was so near him and in no danger of harming him. I drew in shallow breaths. But I couldn't tear myself away from the image. I held on to it with a mental vice. This was game changing. He would be in our lives, at least in Alice's. Perhaps I could keep him in mine.

A new monster purred, not the blood thirsty one. A need started to grow, it had been so very small and quiet I had forgotten I had it.

I barely heard Alice as she continued, "I'm going to love him one day. I'll be extremely put out if you don't let him be."

Jasper's resolve faltered as he stared at Alice. She had him wrapped around her pinky and he couldn't deny her anything. Anything or anyone that Alice loved, Jasper would love too.

My chest moved erratically with my breath. If I could blush, my whole body would be red. I wasn't feeling right.

"Ah." Alice could see clearly into the closer future now that Jasper stepped aside. "Beau won't say anything."

The way she said his name as if they had kept each other's company for ages already.

"Alice," I gasped, my voice ragged. "What does this mean?"

I could feel my family eyeing me curiously. They have never seen me like this before.

"I told you there was a change coming." She rubbed her temples, eyeing me from the side. She closed her eyes and let a new vision unravel. I found myself closing my eyes too, willing myself to view the vision alongside her.

But suddenly she turned her thoughts to Jasper, very hard. She did this when she was trying to block me out of her mind.

I slammed my hands on the desk. Five vampires jumped in their seats.

"What are you hiding?" I demanded.

She shook her head, 'no' and began counting backwards from 100 in German in her mind. Emmett grumbled. "Oh come on. What is going on?"

"Is it about the boy? Is it about Beau?" I was almost shaking. I knew what she must have seen. Me, my teeth sinking into him. Draining him. Was there no hope?

Alice's resolve began to collapse.

 _-Okay. I'll let you see. But you're not going to like it now. But you will. Edward. This is for the best.-_

I growled. "Show me."

 _-You're going to have to explain it. Jasper and I have kept your secret but you're going to have to tell them all now.-_

This was not what I expected. Why was she bringing up my sexuality of all things. "What?" I whispered but my mind began to be colored by Alice's vision. "Oh." I gasped. My chair hit the floor. I was on the ground, knees and palms to the floor. I wasn't aware of myself anymore.

Beau's arms, pale, brilliant and sparkling wrapped around my waist. I was leaning against him, my head tucked under his shoulder. His face, perfect, angular, devastatingly handsome. Cold hard blood red eyes. A monster just like me.

"No!" I shouted and slammed my fist into the floor. The ground beneath me shook. I jumped to my feet. "No. No. No."

"Edward, it's only solidifying. There are only two futures now for him." Alice spoke softly.

The second vision flashed briefly in her mind: I was cradling his dead body in my arms. My face scorched with horror and pain. His pale hand still pressed on my chest. I kissed his cheek sweetly, devastated and distraught.

I screamed. "No!" I covered my face with my hands. I didn't know what to do. I didn't belong in my skin. If I could turn into a vapor mist, that would be more agreeable.

"There's got to be another way." I couldn't accept it. Either one. It couldn't be.

Esme and Emmett both asked what was going on. My family's confusion only worsened how terrible I felt.

I ignored them. "I'll leave. I have to." The words spit out between clenched teeth.

Emmett chimed in again. "We've been over this. You can't leave. So what. You kill the boy? Is that it. You're staying with us."

Alice shook her head. "You're not going anywhere. I don't see that. I don't think you can leave now." She brought up the image of us together. Beau and I together. Beau and I. I groaned. The idea of leaving was painful. But I would do whatever it takes to keep him safe.

 _-If you leave. I'm not sure about Jasper. If he thinks Beau could put us in danger. I'm not sure, Edward.-_

I looked at Jasper then. His eyes caught mine. There was nothing suspicious there.

Jasper tested my emotions again and then he actually laughed. He laughed? His whole demeanor changed and I watched as he walked confidently up to Alice and kissed her cheek. He wouldn't touch Beau.

Emmett slammed on the table. "What is going on."

Jasper turned back to me and chuckled again. "Beau? You . . ."

I saw where that sentence was going. "Stop." I waved a hand at him. He knew too much. This was too much happening all at once. Jasper was going to say "You love him." He could feel my emotions and he put together the puzzle before anyone else could. Now it made sense why I would protect the human boy. It wasn't out of honor. It was selfish. _-You love him.-_ I squirmed. Is it true? Beau. . . his arms around me. My hands on him. That old quiet monster growled in approval. I thought about the pain of leaving him. How he made me crazy. How concerned I was about his well being. How I would fight my family for him.

I couldn't let Jasper finish his sentence regardless.

"No. Jasper. What were you going to say?" Rosalie cut in. Her eyes were sharp.

Jasper looked at me again for approval. "I was going to say that Edward-"

My left hand pinched the bridge of my nose. "No. I will change the future. I will leave. I'll stay away." I shook my head, conflicted with layers of self disgust. "I won't do this to him. Not him."

 _-Not him?-_ My sister hung onto those words and I felt the lightbulb click on. Rosalie's peel of laughter grated my soul, or what was left of my soul. "Oh my goodness. Is that it?" She eyed me wickedly. "That's what you've been hiding. You're falling for a human." Her tone was sour and mocking.

I flinched, holding back my instinct to wipe her stupid self righteous grin off her lips.

Esme perked up. "Edward's falling in love?"

"With Beau." Rosalie cackled. "You're falling in love with a human boy."

"I will change the future. I will change the future." I chanted through my locked teeth. I could rip Rosalie in two. This was not her place.

"Falling in love?" Carlisle clarified slowly, methodically. "With the boy." Yes. The Boy. The only boy I've ever paid any attention to in my long life. The Boy. The one that haunted my every thought since I met him.

Emmett was late to the party. "Wait. Are you gay?" He eyed me. This is what I had been trying to avoid all these years. "Oh my god. You're gay?"

I slammed my fist on the table and turned my back to everyone.

Esme turned to Carlisle. "I don't understand."

I breathed through my teeth. One problem after another. This first one I had clear up before we could move on. "Okay. Fine. Fine!" I shouted. "Yes." I took a deep breath. "I'm . . . I'm gay."

 _-Sorry_.- Alice and Jasper both thought towards me.

 _-Why didn't you tell me?-_ Esme's kind thoughts comforted me. She felt betrayed and hurt that I didn't confide this to her. This conversation was oddly manageable considering the other issues, the harder issues, looming above it. Coming out was suddenly necessary, in the worst way.

"I didn't tell you because I didn't think I would ever need to. I mean. I didn't think I would ever find. . . a reason to tell you." The reason now was Beau and his impossibly horrifying fate. It was my fault. All of it. "I've lived a very conservative life." I explained my silence. "Being gay was something you didn't discuss."

I was about to continue on but Carlisle stood up. I looked up to him, my eyes wide. His judgement was the one I dreaded and needed the most. His steps were measured and cautious. He placed a hand on my shoulder.

 _-You know you could have told me.-_

I raised my eyebrows. "Could I?" I wasn't sure.

 _-Did you think because of my background in the church that I would think less of you?-_ I nodded solemnly. - _You're my son, Edward. And you're my best friend. This changes nothing.-_

"No." I disagreed.

 _-It doesn't change how I see you. Nothing you could do or be could change that. I love you. You are always accepted, just as you are.-_

Emotions I didn't expect crashed over me. I fell into Carlisle's embrace. If I could cry, I would have. I didn't think I needed Carlisle's acceptance of this. . . of my homosexuality. But now that I had it, I felt a huge weight being lifted off. Why did I keep this to myself? Even Rosalie's jealousy and years long grudge against me started to waver. She realized I had rejected her those many years ago, not because I didn't think she was attractive, but because I didn't find any woman attractive in that way. Emmett wasn't sure what to think other than, - _T_ _ough break.-_

I stepped back from Carlisle's embrace. "But you're wrong. This does change things. Beau," I looked at Alice meaningfully. I liked the name on my tongue too much and that just started more inner conflict. "Beau changes everything."

"What do you see, Alice?" Jasper asked her. "Exactly."

"Well. There are two clear paths. It just depends."

"Depends on what?" Carlisle questioned.

"It depends on if Edward is strong enough."

I sunk down in the chair, feeling the already enormous pressure on my shoulders.

"Either he is going to kill Beau himself. Which would REALLY irritate me, not to mention what it would do to you. Or," She faltered. "He's going to be one of us, someday."

There was a gasp. I didn't see who.

"That's not going to happen." I growled. "Either one."

"It depends" She repeated. "It's going to take an enormous amount of strength and control not to harm him." Alice eyed me again, with a slight smile on her lips. "The only thing for sure is that you can't stay away from him anymore. That's a lost cause." _-He's your mate, Edward.-_

The room was silent. No one could find their voice. Their eyes were fixed on me. Six different views of my pained and horrified face.

"Well," Carlisle walked back to his seat. "This complicates things."

"I'll say." Emmett barked, breaking the tension. God bless him.

"I suppose the plans remain the same, though," Carlisle said thoughtfully. "We'll stay, and watch. Obviously, no one will...hurt the boy."

I stiffened. "His name is Beau." I whispered and folded my arms across my chest.

"Beau." Carlisle corrected with a smile.

"I can agree to that." Jasper nodded and stared at Alice. "If there are only two ways."

"No." I shouted at him. "You'll agree to not hurt him no matter what. Alice's visions change. It will change. I will change it."

The fiery look in my eye made Jasper take a step back. Jasper, the toughest one of us. "Fine. No one touches him, no matter what."

I sighed and leaned back on the wall. As long as Beau was safe, I could live with myself.

"Okay, but can we go back to the fact that Edward is gay?" Emmett was still hung up on that. "Like, how did we not know that for the past 90 odd years? Maybe we should slow our role. Do we even know if Beau is a faggot too?"

He was on the ground in the next second. The table broken in two. I was standing where he had been, my arm raised, tight fisted, ready to swing a punch. But I was too late. Someone had already knocked him down.

Rosalie, the picture of terror, a deadly assassin. "Don't you EVER. I REPEAT. EVER. say that word again." Her voice was livid. After a moment she straightened her shirt and twirled a finger through her hair. Rosalie looked at Esme. "Sorry about the table." And with that she walked out of the room and into the garage.

Emmett blinked. "I. . ." He crawled off the table and straightened himself out in a daze.

In all my years, I never thought Rosalie would be the one to defend me.

 _-Yesh.-_ Emmett thought.- _At least Edward won't have to deal with that. Women can be so touchy.-_

(WHACK) The punch landed clean on his face. "That was for Rosalie. And for me." I stalked out of the room. I would forgive Emmett. Emmett would get over it.

"I'm going for a run." I announced. I had to get out of this house. Their thoughts were too much. Rosalie's self conscious worry. Emmett's humor and anger. Carlisle's never ending patience.

Worse: Alice's confidence. Jasper's confidence in that confidence.

Worse still . . . Esme's joy.

She grabbed my arm as I stalked out of the room. I haltered. I glanced down at her for a second. She was hopeful. My eyebrows creased and I ripped my arm away.

I knew that stung her, but I was already running into the forest. My mind was racing faster than my feet were.

Alice and Beau: best friends. Best friends soon. His eyes blue in the picture.

I shuddered as I remembered the next vision. The horror in Beau's eyes. Cold. Dead. A monster just like me. How could I do that to him? He would hate me. He would despise me. I could never forgive myself. I could never be that selfish.

The next vision the worst one of them all. Beau completely lifeless in my hands.

I yelled obscenities into the night sky. A few birds flew from their nest.

No. There is another way. There would have to be another way.


	6. Chapter 6: Into the Frying Pan

Chapter 6: Into the Frying Pan

* * *

Beau's POV

* * *

I called mom on my way to school. I was still mad that Charlie told her about the accident. She called me seven times last night but I was asleep.

"Hey mom." I called. "Yes, I'm fine." I got to school early so I sat on one of the tables outside. I had an alternative motive for coming early. I wanted to make sure I caught Edward.

He was. . . something. Something else, I just didn't know what. He owed me answers and I would get them.

Mom and I talked for a few minutes. Phil was doing well. Mom was adopting plants and only killed half so far.

"Any boys?" She gooed.

"There's lots of boys." I rolled my eyes.

"Any of them special."

Yes. I wanted to say. One of them was very, very special. Completely abnormal.

I looked at the parking lot again and the silver volvo just pulled into a spot.

"Who was the guy that pulled you out of the way?" Mom asked, remembering a very small detail Charlie must have told her.

"Oh, no one." I lied. But I answered too fast. My voice going up in pitch.

"And would 'no one' have a name?"

"It's. . . it's not like that. Mom I have to go. I love you. I'll talk to you soon." They were walking up to the school now about to pass me.

"Hey, Edward." I called and jumped off the table. He lead his family on the sidewalk. His honey colored eyes didn't even look in my direction. He stepped around me like I was just big pile of trash on the sidewalk to be maneuvered around. His siblings followed suit. I stared after them. Shocked by the cold shoulder. It was like I was a ghost.

Before they filed in, his sister Alice, turned around to look at me. Her face as crestfallen as I felt. Jasper tugged on her arm and she quickly turned back around.

So it was gonna be like that. I kicked the bench next to me. It stubbed my toe. "Shit." I hissed. I limped into my first class.

During lunch I kept glancing at the Cullen table. Edward faced the opposite direction. I sighed into my salad. Picking at it, absentmindedly.

Everyone wanted to know about what happened yesterday. My responses became mechanic. Over and over again. "I'm fine." - "Edward was standing beside me. He pulled me out of the way."- "It all happened so fast."- "I'm fine."

"Hey." I said when I got to my seat in biology. He nodded in my direction, but kept his eyes on the front of the class. And that's the last interaction I had from Edward Cullen for weeks.

I was not fine. I was confused. I knew Edward was hiding something. The other day he was friendly, nice, polite. He rescued me. His first instinct was to rescue me. Then today. Nothing. I don't even exist. Well. Two could play at this game. Fine, I'm not going to get answers. I wasn't going to let him drag me around anymore. I was going to forget about him too.

I launched myself into my homework every night. I tried to actually pay attention to the people I sat with at lunch. I tried to find reasons to be interested in their boring little lives. I read more books than I had in years. I spent most afternoons in the library until I had exhausted the few selections they had. Then I went to rereading my old standards. I did everything I could to not think about him.

I still couldn't help glancing at him out of the corner of my eye. He looked sad and brooding all the time now. Or maybe that's always how he looked. I didn't know him well enough to make assumptions. I wanted to though.

This was impossible. I tried. But I failed. I couldn't get him out of my head. It made it all the more difficult whenever I tried not to think about him. Maybe he knew. Maybe Edward knew how obsessed I was with him and he didn't want to lead me on. Of course. I'm such an idiot. He said he was good at reading people. He could see how I looked at him when I thought no one was looking. He's trying to give me a way out without turning me down in public, officially.

I groaned into my pillow, two weeks after the cold shoulder treatment began. It was not getting better. The sun light trickled into my room but the weather didn't match my mood. My friends at school learned not to talk about the Cullens in front of me. An unspoken agreement. They didn't know what happened between Edward and I but they knew I wasn't going to talk about it. I had enough of this stupid game. I couldn't play anymore.

I walked into lunch determined. It was time I did something. I was going to confront Edward during lunch. I rehearsed what I was going to say, "Hey Edward. I know we aren't talking for some reason, but I hate this. I don't want to be like this anymore. It's killing me."

My friends sat down and beckoned for me to join them. "Be there in a sec." I called to them. I took a deep breath and walked towards the Cullen table. I stopped in my tracks. They weren't there. I deflated like a pin to a balloon. I worked myself up for nothing. "Where are the Cullens?" I asked sitting next to Mike and Jeremy.

"Oh, their parents pull them out when the weather is nice." Jeremy said. I looked at the table of friends for the first time noticing their appearance. The sun was out today, sure, but it was still just 49 degrees. Mike and Jeremy had on cargo shorts. The girls had on capris or shorts and everyone was wearing t shirts, sans jacket.

I trekked off to biology. I was still hoping to see him, I realized when I felt the crashing disappointment again as I saw the empty desk. I knew he wouldn't be here but I had a crazy fantasy that he would show up, for me. I didn't realize how much I counted on his presence. Even though he was mostly a statue. I missed him.

Ugh. I was hopeless. School dragged on and I barely noticed. Every thought was consumed by the Cullens and I let myself get dragged into that current.

I stopped by the police station on my way home.

"Hey dad." I caught Charlie on his way out.

"Is everything okay?" He looked worried. I never showed up at the precinct.

"Yeah, I was just wondering if you knew where Dr. Cullen lived? I have homework I need to give Edward. They were out today, hiking or something. I just wanted to drop it off."

He wrote down their address on a piece of paper after looking it up. "I've never been there myself. They live out of town. I hear they have nice house but they don't entertain much."

I nodded. "Thanks. I'll drop by the store on my way home. Spaghetti sound good for dinner?"

"Sounds great!"

"See you then."

I almost missed the turn. Edit. I did miss the turn and had to do a u-turn in the middle of the road. If it was raining, I might not have ever found their driveway. I was pretty sure that maybe I ended up on the wrong path. The driveway lead deeper into the forest. But I could see a clearing up ahead. Then I saw the house. This had to be the Cullen's place. It was amazing. This wasn't just a nice house. This was. . . a piece of artwork. Not unlike the Cullens themselves.

I got out of my truck and grabbed my backpack. I would have been nervous, but no one was home. I was just going to drop off his homework on the porch and then leave. But when I stepped up to the porch, the door opened. I froze.

I hadn't met Edward's mother yet. This had to be her. She had kind carmel eyes set in a full pale face, softer than her children's. She looked like a mother.

"Oh. I'm sorry." I stuttered. "I, uh. I didn't think. Sorry, I'm Beau." I reached my hand out in a hopefully polite gesture. "Beau Swan. I have biology with your son, Edward." I could feel the blood rush to my face.

She beamed at me and shook my hand. I didn't expect her hand to be so cold.

"Charlie's boy. It's so good to meet you." She seemed so sincere. I was stunned. Edward had been so. . . moody and off. I wasn't sure what he had told his parents about me.

"It's good to meet you too." I meant it. "Is. . . is Edward around?" I looked past her into the house warily.

"No, he's gone out hiking."

I breathed, relieved. I didn't want to see him now. I wasn't prepared. Besides, I knew I wouldn't be having as pleasant of conversation if he were here. Esme was actually talking to me. Something Edward hadn't done in two weeks.

"Oh good. I mean. That's okay." I shifted my weight. "I was just dropping off his homework. Could you make sure he gets this?"

I dug in my pack for the work sheets assigned to us.

"Of course. Thank you so much for dropping this off. That's very kind of you."

She stayed in the shadow of the doorway, so I got closer to give it to her. I ruffled my hair, a little flustered.

"No problem." I furrowed my brows and shoved my hands in my pockets.

I should have said my goodbyes then and left. But I didn't.

"Is," I peered behind me and then stepped closer to Esme. "Is Edward okay?" I said in a hurried voice.

"Edward?"

"Yeah, it's just that. Um. He's been a little. . . " How do I say this? Should I even be asking his mother this. "I'm just kind of. . . worried about him." I bit my lip. Oh god, this wasn't my place. It's true though. I was worried about him.

Esme's eyebrows mirrored mine and she half smiled, a sadness washed over her. "I know what you mean." She responded. I felt the urge to grab her hand in comfort.

Just then a pixie bounded behind Esme. Alice peered over her mother's shoulder. She was all smiles as she answered my question. "Edward is just going through a phase." She brushed off her brother's behavior. "I'm Alice. You're Beau, right?" She greeted quickly. Before I could respond she pulled me into the house. "I've been wanting to meet you for awhile now."

"Oh." Was all I could manage. Her hands on mine, just as cold as Esme's.

I didn't miss the warning glance Esme gave her daughter.

"Are you thirsty?" Esme asked me. Alice grinned as if there was an inside joke I didn't get. "Water, tea?"

"Oh, sorry. I'm fine, thank you." The door closed behind me and I remember gulping. I had just planned on dropping off the homework. I looked around the living room and gasped. "Wow. This is beautiful. Your house is amazing."

The furniture was carefully placed throughout the large open living room. White furniture. The decor was all coordinated but not obnoxiously so. It made sense. There wasn't anything extra. It was just enough. The room was very stylish and open, but cozy. The back wall had an almost concrete and steel look about it. Very modern. It reminded me of a security wall.

"Thank you. I designed it."

"You have a talent for it." I said eyeing the white piano in the corner next to the stairs. "It's great."

Esme beamed.

I walked closer to the piano. My feet stumbled slightly but I corrected myself awkwardly.

"Do you play?" Esme asked as my hands reached out to glide along the edges of the top board.

I shook my head silently. There was something here that made me feel nostalgic, but I couldn't understand what it was. I lifted the top board almost mechanically to look at the strings inside the piano. There was something comforting in the smell of the wood and wire of a piano. I plucked a few chords out from the inside. The sound echoed and I knew what it reminded me of. It reminded me of Edward's voice.

Embarrassed, I shut the top board back down. "No, I don't play. Not well, anyway. My mom did though. Is this yours?" I asked Esme.

"No. No." She grinned. "It's Edward's. But he hasn't played in awhile." I could hear the worry creep into her tone.

I glanced down at my feet. Edward played the piano. Of course he did. Mom joked that I would fall in love with a musician one day. I felt red splotches climb up my neck as I tried not to imagine him sitting on the bench and playing sad but lovely song. I nervously stalked away from the piano, as if it were a talisman that would bring him out to punish me for touching it.

"So, Beau." Alice started.

I looked at Alice now and for the first time noticed what she was wearing. A long knitted cardigan over a flowing top. Leather tights and mid calf boots. It was a good look and it really suited Alice.

"Where do you go shopping?" I interrupted.

"What?" Alice blinked.

"Where do you go shopping?" I repeated. "For clothes, I mean. You have really good taste." I looked down at my shirt. "I don't have much of a Washington state approved wardrobe. Most of my clothes were designed for 90 degree dry heat. I've been meaning to go somewhere. But I'm not sure where to go. Mom was supposed to help me before I left, but you know. Things came up."

"Oh. My. Gosh." Alice jumped up, like I had given her a million dollars. "Can I take you shopping?"

She looked at Esme, as if needing permission. Esme shrugged, and gestured towards me.

"That is probably the best question I have ever been asked." There weren't a lot of stereotypical homosexual things that I felt like applied to me. But Honey, point me in the direction of the mall and when I come back you won't even recognize me. I itched for it. It had been so long and Alice had such good tastes. Alice giggled and I joined in on the laughter. It felt. . . good.

"So yes to shopping with me?" Her golden eyes roamed over my face.

"Absolutely. Honestly, you're the only person in our school that I would trust in a fitting room." It was true. "Forks is kind of a fashion disaster."

"I know, right!" Exclaimed Alice. It was so easy to talk to her. This felt so natural. "Well the closest place is Port Angeles, there's really only one good place. Seattle would be better. . ." Her eyes unfocused. When she spoke again, her voice was quiet. "But that's too far. Port Angeles it is. Maybe we can go sometime next week."

"Sounds good to me." I checked my watch. "Oh shoot. I told Charlie that I would go by the grocery store before he got off. I have to go." The sun was setting. Charlie would be home any minute. I bounded for the door. As I opened it, I turned back to Alice. Esme had moved with me, seeing me out. "Thank you, again. It was very nice to meet both of you. The house is lovely." I began to walk out the open door, but stopped dead in my tracks. Edward was standing just on the other side of the threshold. I was two seconds from bumping into him. I forgot how to speak. Or move. I don't think I breathed.

Alice glided to my side. "Hey, Eddie." She said nonchalantly. "How was the hike? Beau was just dropping off your homework. Wasn't that nice?" Edward moved to the side, giving me space to pass through. I stumbled out the door, Edward caught my arm to stabilize me.

"Watch your step." He said lowly. His face stony and grave.

"Sorry," I breathed. "I'll see you later, Alice." I called behind me. "Goodbye, Esme."

I threw open my car door and jammed the the old truck into reverse. I hadn't heard anybody come up the driveway. I didn't see any new cars out front either. I guess he parked in the garage.

I felt like I had crossed enemy lines. Like his family was off limits and I had gone around his back and tricked them into my companionship. It was my idea after all to go shopping. Would Alice get in trouble? I would cancel. I decided that tomorrow I would cancel. I didn't want to come between anybody.


	7. Chapter 7: Girl's Choice

Chapter 7: Girl's Choice

* * *

Beau's POV

* * *

My mind was totally not focusing the next day at school. When Jeremy approached me in the morning and asked about the girl's choice dance, I had to ask him to repeat himself three times. "Has anyone asked you to the dance yet?" He said again.

"The what?"

"The Spring Dance. It's next Saturday."

"Oh. Um. No."

Jeremy just shrugged. "Okay, cool. Just wanted to make sure no one had asked you yet."

"Were you planning on asking me?" I laughed. It was a joke but Jeremy looked offended. His eyes popped open and his lips spluttered. Whatever, dude. You couldn't handle this anyway. I sighed and wrapped my arms around my torso. "You're hoping that Mikayla will ask you right?"

He blushed. "That would be cool, you know."

I slapped him on the shoulder as we headed inside.

"Oh Beau." It was Jessica. She met me in the hallway before trig. "I was hoping to run into you."

"Well, we do have the same class." I gestured and we walked into class together.

"Yeah. So I was wondering." She twirled her finger around her hair. "Will you go to the dance with me next week?"

"Oh no." I sighed. Well how about that. Today of all days. "Sorry, but I'm not going to the dance."

"Oh." Jessica frowned. "Um, why not?"

"I'm just not going to the dance." I repeated. I was already a wall flower. I knew my place and that didn't involve going to a heteronormative dance function.

"Are you waiting for someone else to ask you?" I could tell she was trying to hide her anxiety in that question.

I began doodling on my notebook again, but I drew the lines too hard. "I promise you. I'm not waiting for someone else to ask me to the dance. Like I said, I'm not going."

"Has someone else asked you?" Her tone was accusatory.

"Jessica. I'm not going. Not with you and not with someone else. It's nothing personal. I'm busy that Saturday anyway." I shrugged. I wasn't busy, but I needed some excuse. Before she could ask for specifics I continued. "But you know who would really like to go with you? Mike. You should ask Mike."

I can't believe that I'm playing this game. Match maker.

"Oh, really?" Jessica chewed on this information. "Hmm. So what are you doing next Saturday?"

I rolled my eyes. "Not dancing." Thankfully, the teacher started and I turned my attention back to the front.

When trig ended I sprinted out the door. I wouldn't have to see her again until lunch and that was in a big group. I still had to prepare to break off the shopping trip I planned with Alice. I didn't want to, but I felt like I had to. I was not mentally prepared to deal with single straight white girls today. The school was suddenly full of them, around every corner.

The Cullens were back today. They sat in their normal table. I glanced up, out of habit. I was used to seeing them preoccupied with different points in the wall, not looking at anyone. I was used to Edward avoiding me, his face dark and glowering. But today, he was staring at me. Like the first day I saw him, Edward looked curious. Curious and frustrated, but not unkind.

I nearly dropped my tray when his dark golden eyes caught mine. I was about to go talk to Alice, my feet wavering when Mikayla grabbed my arm. "Hey Beau. Can I talk to you for a second?"

"Sure." This better be about how to ask Jeremy to the dance. I lost my resolve to go over to the Cullen's table.

We walked over to the other side of the lunch room. A few tables away from Edward.

"What's up?" I started when Mikayla just stared at her shoes.

She took a deep breath. "Will you go to the dance with me?"

"I don't dance." I said through my teeth trying to keep the bitterness out of my tone. "I'm not going to the dance."

"That's what Jessica said." Mikayla blushed.

"Then why did you. . . "

"I just thought maybe you were waiting to be asked out by someone else."

"Well, I'm not."

Unfortantely, she didn't seem fazed by my lack of enthusiasm. "You could still come with us, ya know. You don't have to go with someone. We'd all dance with you."

"Thank you. But I'm not going."

"Why not?"

"Why does it matter?" I was getting a headache. My head throbbed and it only got worse the more Mikayla talked.

She didn't know how to respond. So I stalked back to our regular table. I swore I could hear laughter at the Cullen table.

When I got to Biology Edward was already in his seat. I didn't know if I should try to say something to him. I did go to his house yesterday. Unannounced. And made plans with his sister.

"Hey, about yesterday. . . "

Before I could decide what to do, Erica walked over and sat on the edge of the desk. By now everyone was used to ignoring Edward as much as Edward ignored everyone else.

"Beau, I'm glad I caught you." She swept away a greasy strand of hair. Acne scars lined her cheeks. Been there before, the poor dear.

"Hey, Erica." My tone was cautious.

"Hey." She smiled. "So I was wondering."

I slammed my bag on the floor. "I'm not going to the dance, Erica." I didn't even wait for her question. My tone was sour. I had enough already.

"Oh, I heard. That's what Mikayla said. I just thought maybe if someone else asked you, you would be interested."

"I don't want to go to the dance with you, Erica." I couldn't hide my irritation anymore. "You're not my type."

"Oh." The hurt on her voice was palpable. "What is your type then?"

My eyebrows shot up. "You really want to know?" There was a pulsing headache in my temple and I lost it. I didn't think. I just blurted it out. "Do you have a dick, Erica? If not, then I'm not interested."

"Oh." She breathed. "Oh." Erica backed away, blushing. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I didn't know you were. . "

"Gay?" I provided loudly. The word hung in the air for all to see. I felt the eyes of everyone on the class zone in on me. Great. "Well. Now you know."

She nodded and her posture turned instantly uncomfortable. Erica turned around hurriedly and walked back to her seat.

I slumped down into my chair and put my forehead on the desk. I covered my head with my hands. I screwed up. I screwed up big time. "Fuck." I whispered.

"Huh." I heard Edward say under his breath.

I turned my head towards him. "Don't. Don't start. I really don't need you to be. . . all . . . you right now." I flipped my palm up and gestured to all of him.

I peeked from under my other hand, but Edward wasn't glaring. He looked sympathetic and concerned.

I straightened up. "What?" I hissed.

He smiled. "That probably wasn't the best way to come out." He whispered to me, with a joke on his tongue.

"You think?" I said sarcastically. I sank into my chair further and groaned. "I fucked up."

Edward was still looking at me. Old butterflies awakened in my stomach. Who am I kidding, I never stopped being obsessed with Edward.

"Did you mean it?" He asked, his voice low and quiet.

"Did I mean what?" I knew what he meant and Edward didn't clarify. I huffed. Might as well put the nail in the coffin. "Yeah. I meant it. I'm gay, alright. So what. Not like anyone here would reciprocate..." I shrugged my shoulders in a noncommital gesture.

He didn't say anything else for the rest of the class period, but he never stopped staring at me. Every time I glanced over at him, Edward was staring. I don't think he ever blinked. Even when the teacher called on him, he's eyes stayed on my face as he answered. "Krebb's cycle."

When the bell rang I was expecting him to run out like he normally did. I put my things up very slowly, trying to give him a head start, but Edward didn't move.

I sighed and turned towards him.

His honey eyes grabbed onto me. I was swirling in emotions the sensation of drowning in his eyes pulled me down. But I felt safe with him.

"You're wrong you know." He said through a small secretive grin.

"What do you mean?" My eyes narrowed.

"You said no one here would reciprocate your feelings." He cocked his head to the side. "You're wrong."

He winked. My jaw dropped. What the hell? Before I could try to dissect his meaning, he continued on.

"I wouldn't worry about the news outbreak." He informed me while my heart started racing. "You'll be okay. This town is more accepting than you think it is." He swung his backpack up on his shoulders.

"I don't understand you." I finally said when he didn't move.

His grin grew bigger. "I'm counting on that."

"So wait." I bit my lip. "Are you talking to me again?" It was exhausting pretending he didn't exist. I was bad at it. My whole life seemed to revolve around his perfect stupid shoulders.

"No."

"No, you're not talking to me again?" I questioned.

"Yes." His boyish features somehow enhanced as his expression turned mischievous.

"So what exactly are you doing right now?" I arched my eyebrows.

"Not talking to you."

"You're not doing a very good job of it."

Edward bowed his head thoughtfully. "No, I'm not. You're right."

"I usually am." I huffed. "Well, if you're going to continue to do a bad job of not talking to me. . . does this mean we're friends again?"

He cocked his head to the side. "Friends?"

"Or not." I eyed my shoe. Don't get your hopes up, Beau.

"I suppose we could try. But I'm not a good friend for you." His eyes flickered to the door then back to my face. "I'll see you later, Beau. We're going to be late for our next class." I stared open mouthed as he sauntered out of the room.

I was late to gym and scurried to change my clothes in the locker room. I kept missing the buttons. By the time I emerged into the gym, I was basically panting. Mikayla and Jessica were waiting for me. They seemed to be in the loop already.

"Why didn't you just tell us?" Jessica rolled her eyes, but she seemed to be in a good mood.

"Yeah, if I knew were . . . um. . . well, if I know you were. . . " Mikayla trailed off.

"Gay?" What was with that word and the girls around here being unable to use it. I had said it so often in my head, the "novelty" of it had worn off. Not around here though. I guess homosexuality was still a sparse phenomenon. Still taboo.

"Gay." Mikayla whispered in response. "I wouldn't have pushed it. I'm sorry."

"Well, you won't have to deal with that issue again. The whole school probably knows by now. Word travels fast. Man, I wish I could have seen Erica's face. Did you really tell her you weren't interested in less she had a dick?"

I shrugged and pretended to be suddenly interested in gym. I tried to escape back to the men's locker room when period was over but Jessica accosted me again.

"Will you go shopping with us?" Jessica asked. "We could really use your opinion. We're going to look for dresses for the Spring dance soon."

Great. From boyfriend to gay best friend, the new hunt was out.

I agreed though. Listen, I do love giving opinions on dresses. It's a weakness. I was mad at myself too.

On my way to my truck, I argued with myself. I slammed my car door after I got in. When I pulled out, I got trapped by Edward's car. I honked at him but he didn't move. I could see the rest of his family just now leaving the building. I eyed him in his rear view mirror. I could see a crinkle in his eye. At least someone was in a better mood. He winked again at me. Maybe this was just a twitch he had that I never noticed. My heart raced all the same.

There was loud tapping on my driver side window. I yelped. "Holy crow, Taylor. I didn't hear you come up." Her new car was idling behind me.

"Oh sorry."

"The traffic jam is Edward's fault." I glared at him but he just grinned back at me.

"OH, I know. I just wanted to ask you something." Taylor blushed. "Will you got to the dance with me?"

"Oh my god." I yelled. "No Taylor." My patience was on a thread and it had already snapped once today. "I'm not going to the dance. If you haven't heard yet, I'm gay." I grumbled.

"Yeah, I heard. But that doesn't mean you couldn't go with me. You could still take me. We could still have fun."

I punched the ceiling. My knuckles cracked. Ouch.

"Goodbye, Taylor." I started rolling up my window. She kept talking but I was done listening. The rest of the Cullens were piling into the car now. Edward was laughing. What the hell? I revved my engine. It sounded like a tank. Just one little bump to sweep that stupid silver paint off the bumper. My car would be fine. No blood no foul. It was like Edward knew Taylor was going to ask me. I knew he knew. He orchestrated the opportunity. I had it up to here with him. He was toying with me. He was some sort of super human and he was wreaking havoc in my life without a word. I didn't know if I wanted to kiss him or punch him.

Snap. I floored it. I rammed my car forward. Just when I was bracing for impact, I felt nothing. Edward and co were already zooming away.

I could almost hear Edward laughing, like an echo.

* * *

 **AN: Wow. I didn't expect anybody to read this. Thank you for following. And thank you for reading** **. - Rosalie**


	8. Chapter 8: Stalker

Chapter 8: Stalker

* * *

Edward's POV

* * *

I couldn't stop smiling as I drove home.

 _-Edward looks like a lunatic. But at least he looks happy. Did something happen today?-_

 _-What's going on with Edward?-_

 _-Yeah, Edward's gone insane now.-_

I should have been embarrassed. I shouldn't be so happy. I couldn't help it.

Jasper's thoughts caught me by surprise.

 _-Finally.-_

It was only then that I saw how all these years, he felt an emptiness around me like an aura. A type of cloud over me that only he could see. These last two week, it was like I was traveling within a void. It faded today. Replaced by a fiery energy. I was touched and slightly heartbroken. I didn't realize how my silence affected him, how it affected my whole family. They cared deeply about my happiness.

"So." Emmett coughed. "Anything interesting happen today?"

"Well," I smirked. "There's a bit of gossip going around school."

Alice began laughing. "Beau came out today, accidently."

Hope. The part of me that I had been suppressing glowed with hope.

"So," Alice leaned forward and wrapped her arms around me from behind the driver's seat. "Does this mean I can hang out with him now? Or are you still forbidding it?"

After Beau left yesterday Alice and I got in an argument.

"Beau was the one that asked me." Alice stated calmly. "He's my friend."

"No. No he isn't."

"Well, not yet. But I think you're forgetting that he has choices too. I'm not going to say no to him because you're too stubborn. I love him too. He's going to love me. This has nothing to do with you."

"It has EVERYTHING to do with me." I spat. "The closer you get to him. . . " The vision of Beau's dead body in my arms haunting my every thought. "I'll have to leave, Alice."

"You're being dramatic."

"Have you forgotten what we are. Have you forgotten how hard it is for me. His scent is still here." I breathed it in and staggered back. "It's. . . overwhelming. I'll hurt him. The closer he gets to you, the more at danger he is of me." Deep inside I relished the thought of his scent here. I briefly fantasized following his smell up the stairs, to my room, on my couch. . . Stop it.

"As long as I'm staying away from him. He is off limits. Period."

"You're being ridiculous."

"Is it so ridiculous that I'm trying to keep him alive." My voice betrayed my heartache.

"Edward." Esme cooed.

"We're done here." I avoided her embrace and stalked off to my room and turned on some music. I didn't know what I was listening to. In my head I was going over it in my head. Seeing his car in the front yard. Hearing him laugh with Alice inside. The door opened. He looked frightened to see me.

The reason I was so mad at Alice wasn't because I was protecting him. I was jealous. Jealous that she could so easily be with him. The first vision she had flashed again in my head. Their arms wrapped around each other, laughing. It wasn't so hard to imagine it anymore. I never understood how Beau could be comfortable enough around vampires. How many instincts would he have to overlook to friends? Seeing and hearing him here, in a literal house of vampires gushing to my mother and planning outings with my sister. Yes, I could see how easily Alice and Beau could be best friends.

I smashed my stereo with a quick movement. I was losing it. I couldn't afford to lose it. I had to be in control.

Beau's frightened features. I scared him. Of course I scared him. He should be scared of me. No. _No, don't be scared._ I would never. I would never hurt him.

Alice was right. Beau could make up his own choices. Who was I to think he would ever choose me? I was a fool.

The image of Beau in the doorway haunted me. I liked it. I shouldn't.

I took off. After hours and hours of going back and forth I found myself in front of the Swan residence. I inhaled the fresh air and then held my breath as I climbed up on the tree. No one was awake. I heard a heartbeat in the window next to the branch. Beau. My chest roared. I wanted to see him. I needed to see him. Before I knew it, I was standing in his room, silent as a shadow.

He was twisted up in sheets, wearing a red long-john shirt and blue striped boxers. His hair was fluffed up and his lips were half open. A human at rest. My human at rest.

I shook my head at my possesiveness. No, not mine. He was not mine. I wanted him to be, but that was entirely wrong. He could never accept me. He could never love me like I loved him. I was torturing myself. But now. I had hope. Oh, what a dangerous thing that could be. Just because he confirmed his orientation doesn't mean anything. I pulled myself uptight. It doesn't mean he could ever want a relationship with me. Me. I had been terrible to him. I had wanted to kill him. I was not good for him. I should have left. I should have stayed away, because I knew I never could now.

I was about to jump back out the window when. . .

"Edward." Beau spoke clearly as if he were calling me to him.

I froze.

He rolled over and sighed. "Edward." He crooned again. "Stay. . . please. Stay with me."

I nearly fell to my knees.

He was dreaming of me. Not a nightmare. A pleasant dream about me. He wanted me to stay with him.

The small glow in my chest exploded and I was lost in it. Everything changed in that moment. In a life where I was solidified in time, never growing or evolving, a change like this was permanent and intense. The blood thirsty monster inside of me was instantly vanquished for good. I breathed deeply, letting Beau's smell fill me up. It burned. He was everywhere in this room. I was intoxicated by it. The burn in my throat was uncomfortable, but I relished in the pain. That pain in my throat meant that I was with Beau. I could handle anything as long as he was with me. I would love him for the remainder of my existence, however long that may be.

There were two things I was absolutely certain of. 1) I was irrevocably and unconditionally in love with Beau. 2) I would be the death of him.

I saw the other vision. The greedy vision. Beau wrapped around me, razor sharp teeth, blood red eyes. I could see it. I could see asking Carlisle to do it for me. I understood that I could be selfish enough. The idea of living sharing my forever with him. . . but at what cost? Beau's humanity? His life? His family? His future?

There had to be another way. I loved him more than I needed him and I needed him more than humanly possible. I could never force that on him. Still it was tempting. I shook it off. No. There was a third option. A tight wire. I could love him. I could be with him and let him live. I was strong enough. He made me strong enough.

When I left the Swan's residence, I was a different man than when I came in. For so long, I was in an endless night. . . but Beau brought the sun. I was no longer in darkness. Everything was illuminated. I would never stop feeling this way. I never wanted to.

I waiting until the last minute to get back to the house. Alice was waiting for me on the porch.

"Okay." I said. My hands raised in a gesture of giving in. "Okay." I couldn't help the smile creep onto my face. She flung her arms around me.

"It's meant to be." She whispered in my ear. "It'll work out."

"I'm nervous." I laughed, trying to cover up how pained I was. "What if he. . . what if he doesn't like me."

She rolled her eyes. "Go change. We'll see you at school."

They left while I was changing. I grabbed my backpack from the mudroom. Esme was about to leave for the hospital. She stopped me by the doorway.

 _-You look happy.-_

"Do I? I feel like I'm a mess."

 _-Love does that. Are you happy?-_

"I'm excited, but I'm worried. It's all kind of messed up."

 _-You'll do the right thing. What changed?-_

I shrugged. If I could have blushed I would have. How do you explain to your mom that you snuck into your crushes bedroom and watched him sleep? "I have to go. I want to catch him before he goes in for his first class."

 _-Good luck.-_

"Thanks." I kissed her on her cheek and raced towards school.

Beau was just getting out of his truck when I arrived.

He dropped his keys. By the time he bent down to pick them up, I was twirling them around my finger. "Holy crow." Beau gasped when he saw me. He straightened up. I just noticed that he was a few inches taller than I was. I thought how we would fit together. My thoughts greedy. It was so strange to think that at one time I thought he was ordinary.

"Good morning to you too."I tried to keep my tone light.

"How do you do that?"

"Do what?"

He ruffled his hair. "Appear out of nowhere."

"I could tell you. But then I'd have to kill you."

He blinked at me.

"It's a joke." I laughed. "God, Beau." I loved saying his name.

"Right. Can I have my keys back?" He looked mad.

Did I misjudge everything? Oh no. His dream last night could have been about anything.

I hated not being able to read his mind.

"Are you mad at me?"

"Wow." Beau leaned back on his truck. "Am I mad at you?" He said slowly, revving up. "I don't know, Edward. What's there to be mad at?" I loved the way his face crinkled when he was upset. I should be more worried, but I kept getting distracted by how cute he was being. "Well, for starters, you've been giving me the cold shoulder three weeks, completely shutting me out. You lied to me about how you were going to explain what happened during the accident. Then yesterday." He breathed. "What was with the traffic jam? I don't know how, but you knew Taylor was going to ask me out. After I had completely made a fool of myself and told everyone. And you just laughed at me. The whole day. You kept winking at me. Taunting me. You laughed at me. So yeah, Edward. I'm mad at you. I'm not here for your shits and giggles."

He stomped off to school, his shoes sloshing in the watered down parking lot. I followed behind him easily.

He turned around, angry lines still set in his brow. "Listen, I get it. You don't like me. That's fine. I'm sure you've figured out that I've been obsessed with you and I'm sorry. I'll stay away from you, but you have got to do me the solid and stay away from me too."

"You're an idiot." I responded.

"What?!" He almost yelled. I deserved that.

"You're wrong." I said in a low controlled voice. "On all accounts. I don't want you to stay away from me. You should. If you were smart, you would stay away. But I don't want you to. And you're wrong about me. I'm sorry for my behavior I know it's been erratic. You have to understand that it's been. . . confusing for me. But I do like you, Beau. I like you too much for your own good." _I'm devastatingly in love you._ "I'm sorry if you thought I was taunting you yesterday. I'm sorry for laughing. You're very cute when you get upset."

I brushed a leaf off his coat. I could almost feel his heart beating out of his chest.

His face burned red.

"Why are you doing this to me?" His face twisted up in pain. "You're just playing with me."

"I'm being serious, Beau." Could he not hear the grave tone in my voice. Could he not see how much I loved him. I felt like I was glowing in it. "I would like to be friends, Beau." I bit my lip. I didn't want to be friends. I wanted much more than that. "I would like to get to know you." That was more accurate.

He blinked. His eyes going back and forth between mine. No human ever looks so closely. "Okay."

"Okay?" I questioned.

"Okay." He repeated. "I'll see you later."

* * *

Beau's POV

* * *

What the hell. What in the ever living gay ass hell.

* * *

 **AN: Thanks for reading! Wasn't Edward a little cutie pie in this or what? Leave a review for the next chapter!**


	9. Chapter 9: Blood Type

Chapter 9: Blood Type

Beau's POV

* * *

What in the ever living gay ass hell? I was in a daze all morning. I knew people were whispering about me but I couldn't be bothered. Edward Cullen wanted to get to know me. He didn't want me to stay away from him. But he said that I should . . . if I was smart. What did that mean? God he infuriated me and I loved it.

It's like he thought he was dangerous. I could see it. The first day, his eyes were murderous. He could be extremely intimidating, but I wasn't afraid of him. I guess I wasn't smart.

My heart sank when I got to the lunch room. Edward was missing from his usual table. Of course. I was an idiot. He was flighty. He would never stay. He would say he'd be my friend one second and then take off the next. Fine. Forget him. I was only kidding myself. If Edward really had gone, I had already resigned myself to be in a sour mood the rest of the day.

"I'm not hungry." I said to Jessica in the line. She and Mikayla were the only ones vying for my attention. Mike and Jeremy were hanging back, only taking quick glances at me. I could tell they viewed me differently today. I didn't care. Why was it always harder for straight guys? It's not like Mike and Jeremy were all that attractive either. I shook it off. They didn't matter.

Jessica tilted her head. "Why is Edward sitting by himself?"

"Wha-?" I turned around too fast and lost my balance. Edward, a demigod, sitting alone. He was looking at me. He winked again. My heart stopped.

"Does he mean you?" Jessica asked when he motioned for me to come sit with him.

"Yeah. I dropped off some homework the other day." I made up a plausible excuse. "He probably has a question."

"This is different." I said when I was standing a few feet away.

"A lot of things are different." He whispered. I wasn't sure if I was supposed to hear that. "Would you like to sit with me today?"

"What if I said no?" I was testing him.

"Do you want to say no?" His face fell.

"Well, you said yourself that I should stay away from you." I was still ticked.

"I did." He muttered, his voice dark. "And you should."

I ruffled my hair as I pulled a chair out and plopped down. I'm such a sucker. "So what's this about?"

"I told you. I want to get to know you. I want to be friends."

"Friends, right." I muttered.

"Are you hungry?" He eyed the bottle of lemonade in my hands.

"No. Are you?"

"I'm full." He smiled.

"Funny. I never see you eat."

He shrugged. Right. I added that to my "reasons why Edward is not normal" bank.

"Just because you can't see the stars during the day, doesn't mean they aren't shining." Edward replied, a crooked grin on his pink lips.

"How poetic." I rolled my eyes. Geez.

"I thought so."

"You have bad timing." I finally said after mulling over a thought.

"How so?" He furrowed his eyebrows.

"Half the school is talking about me today. A day after I came out and you decide to sit with me alone. For someone who likes privacy. . . you have bad timing. I can only imagine what these kids are saying about me now. And you." I grimaced. Warily, I glanced to the side. My other friends quickly ducked their heads together as I looked at them.

"They're not being very imaginative. For which I am grateful." He pinched the bridge of his nose. He looked up again with determination. "But, Beau, I want you to know that I don't mind."

"Don't mind what?"

"I don't mind people talking about us. Let them think what they will."

 _Us._ He didn't mind the rumors that were bound to be circulating about us. I spun the lemonade cap on the table. _Oh._ Hope began to swell in my chest. I could feel the blush blossoming across my cheeks.

"What are you thinking?" Edward prodded.

"I'm trying to figure out what you are." I snapped up the lemonade cap and started to spin it again.

"Ah." He breathed. "Are you having any luck?"

"Not particularly. It would be easier if we could be honest with each other."

"Okay." He nodded. He squared his shoulders, as if in preparation to say something important.

"Really?" I stiffened. That was easier than I thought it would be.

"You want to know what I am?"

"Yes."

Edward took a deep breath, his eyes dark, but a smile still on his lips. "I'm gay." The words hung in the air, low but confident. "I'm. . . like you."

I leaned back in my chair. "Oh." I thought for a moment. I felt my thighs burn. My thoughts started to race. _Focus, Beau. Goddamit_. "I guess I already knew that." My heart thudded regardless. Desires flared. "But you are nothing like me." I gestured to him, his perfection and then to me. I tried to picture us sitting together. A stony god and a lowly gangly teenager. The picture looks lopsided. "Don't try to say you are, because you aren't. Besides. You know that's not what I meant."

Edward raised his eyebrows. I could see him calculating his next words.

"What are your theories then?"

"Hell no." I shook my head and laughed.

"Why not?" Edward crossed his arms over his chest.

"Too embarrassing."

"Not even one little theory?" His eyes softened as he stared up through his lashes. I staggered. My breathing stopped.

"Um. Bitten by a radioactive spider?" I blurted out. What an idiot.

He barked a laugh. "Not even close."

"So no spiders?"

"Nope."

"No radioactivity?"

"Nope."

"No bites?"

I saw his grin slip for half a second. "What if I'm not a hero?" He asked hastily.

He didn't answer my question; I added that to my mental bank. Perhaps bites had something to do with it.

"What do you mean?"

"What if I'm the bad guy?" His face was grave. I could tell he was being very serious. That he was trying to warn me of something.

I nodded. "With great power comes great responsibility." I quoted. "You could be a bad guy… it wouldn't be that hard to imagine." I said truthfully. "But you're not. No. I don't believe that."

"You're wrong."

"No. You're instinct was to protect me- to save me." It was started to add up now. Edward thought that he was dangerous, that he was dangerous to me. "Even when you were ignoring me. . . you were just trying to protect me from yourself, weren't you?"

His eyes were pleading. I was dead on.

I grabbed his hand on the table. I expected his hand to be cold, like his family. Whatever he was, his family was the same. I like how my hand fit over his.

"You're a good person, Edward." I said it slowly, so that perhaps Edward would believe it. "Everyone has flaws." I stared at our hands for a moment. "You may think of yourself as a villain. But in _my_ story, you are my hero."

He blinked, stunned.

"Thank you." His voice was ragged with emotion. After another moment he looked up, "You're going to be late for class."

"Don't you mean we?"

"I'm skipping. It's healthy to ditch every now and then." He grabbed my lemonade cap and spun it himself.

I wanted to stay with him. I was this close to asking if I could ditch with him. He would have said yes.

"See you later, then?" I jumped up.

Edward smiled sadly. "See you, Beau." His voice was velvet and sweet.

* * *

Edward's POV

* * *

That didn't exactly go as planned, but I was all the more enchanted by Beau. This tightrope act I was dedicating myself too was more complicated than I had anticipated.

Blood typing was happening in biology, so I waited it out in my car.

Because the school really was buzzing with gossip of Beau (and recently me), I wasn't so focused on his name today in the thoughts of students. More than a few had tried to imagine Beau in certain inappropriate scenarios. It was indecent and I shied away from those thoughts as a courtesy. That's why I didn't hear Mike's thoughts until he was outside, practically dragging Beau by the arms.

I was by their side in a hurry. He was green and clammy. "Is he okay?" I thought for a mili-second that the Newton boy had hurt him.

Mike dropped Beau completely when he saw me standing there. Beau groaned softly. "Yeah, he just fainted during blood typing. He didn't even get pricked. What a pussy." Mike shook his head.

"I'll take him from here." I just now saw the bigoted thoughts in his mind. I wanted to shield Beau away from them.

"Suit yourself." Mike didn't seem too inconvenienced. He walked back to class without a second glance.

"Beau, are you alright?" I crouched by him and placed my cold hand on his cheek. His eyes opened and I nearly doubled over in relief.

"Ugh. Not you." He groaned. He tried to sit up but he collapsed again. "I'm much better now. It's fine. I'm fine." He was going in and out of consciousness. I picked him up off the sidewalk with ease. He leaned into me, absentmindedly. His forehead resting in the hollow of my neck. I tried not to think about it too much, but it felt right. No, it felt good, but it wasn't right.

He was still woozy when the nurse checked him out. When she went out of the room to grab something, Beau found my hand and held on to it. He wouldn't look at me, but I think he smiled.

He was starting to feel better before Mike brought in another student. This student had been pricked. The blood weakly puckering out of his index finger.

I heard Beau gasp and say, "Oh, I can smell it." He passed out again.

I talked to the nurse and the administrator and got them to agree to let me take him home.

"You smell nice." He whispered while I buckled him in. I patted his leg and he hummed softly.

I took a deep breath. I hadn't been in an enclosed space with him before. This was going to be a sort of test.

It was incredibly difficult, but manageable. Beau and I talked about music while I drove the short distance to his house. He didn't tell me where he lived, and he didn't question how I knew where he lived.

"Would you like to come inside?" Beau invited me.

"I have to pick up my siblings." I wish I could stay. I wish I never had to leave him. He nodded solemnly. "Will I see you tomorrow then?"

"Actually, no. I'm going hiking again tomorrow and Friday."

His face fell. "Oh, that long?"

"It's only a few days."

"Okay, then." He nodded, but he didn't seem okay with that amount of time.

"Will you do something for me?" I tried my hand at my most persuasive look.

"Anything." Beau breathed. My chest roared.

I leaned dangerously close and breathed, "Be safe."

He blinked, his whole face going numb.

I watched with amusement as he stumbled to his house, glancing back at me every now and then until the door closed behind him.

It would be four days until I saw him again. And it was under the worst of circumstances.

 **AN: Thanks for reading! It's about to go down. Next chapter is gonna be a long one. I couldn't bare to split it up. Leave a review if you want more. :) - Rosalie**


	10. Chapter 10: Not a Villain

Chapter 10: Not A Villian

Edward's POV

* * *

Jessica, Mikayla and Beau had gone to Port Angeles to try on dresses. Beau was to be their judge. I followed them lazily, just in distance to be able to read the girl's minds. They were in and out of clothes so I wasn't focused too much.

After a while, I realized that Beau wasn't with them anymore. They didn't seem to be concerned so it took too long for me to be suspicious. I should have acted sooner. Too much time had passed. Where was Beau?

I was on a wild goose chase. I followed his scent to a bookstore but he didn't go in. The sun was about to go down and I was about to start looking for him on foot when I saw Beau's face in a stranger's mind. I was relieved for .2 seconds.

 _-Time to bash in some faggot's skull_.- A memory flickered. Beau at the airport with his father. -" _I'm gay."_ _-I would have dragged him by his hair then and there, but he was with a cop.-_

He began imagining taking a bat and hitting the boy with it. - _Not in my town. Not in my streets. There needs to be a reckoning.-_

"No!" I slammed on the gas. He and three others were following Beau. I watched from the minds of these predators as Beau tried to maneuver around them. Their drunken thoughts were filled with red and slurred with violence.

They were close enough to him now that they didn't need to yell to get his attention.

"Are you the faggot from the airport?" One of them spoke. I was all hisses and snarls. One of them had a gun and he was deciding on whether or not to use it. Beau, his face, so fragile, and scared turned around. He looked like he was accepting whatever was about to happen, bracing for impact.

My car whipped around in the alleyway. I was going full speed. One of them looked at me and I almost ran him over. I wish I had. He jumped out of the way with just a second to spare. I fishtailed the car so it was pointing in the way I had come. I flung the door open towards Beau. I placed the car just a few feet away from him.

"Get in the car." I yelled. Without any hesitation he dove in and shut the door. A momentary moment of relief washed over me. Beau was in my car. He would be safe.

"Wait here." I muttered darkly.

"No." He whimpered as I got out. My headlights shown on the men. Their faces were narrowed and cautious. One of them raised a knife to me.

I snapped my head in his direction.

The knife wielder spat."Are you a faggot too?"

I pulled my lips back and snarled. I willed them to see the side of me that I had kept hidden for decades. I wanted them to know terror, to see what a real monster was. I edged towards the one with a knife.

"Do you think that will hurt me." My tone was quiet, confident. "Do you know what I could do to you?"

I had been reckless. My thoughts so focused I missed the reaction. BANG. A gun was shot. I felt a slight impact on my stomach. I looked down and picked up the crushed bullet that had hit me above my navel. I didn't even flinch. The only evidence of where it landed was a small tear in my shirt.

I raised my eyebrows. Now I was really ticked off. "I think you dropped something." I held up the bullet. It shined in the headlights. Smoke still rising from it.

There was utter silence. No one made a sound. I had sealed their fates. They would not be allowed to live.

I flipped my hand over and let the bullet ping on the pavement. With the silence broken, they ran. I was gearing up, giving them a head start. I would hunt them down one by one. I wouldn't drink them. I didn't want them in me, but I would end them. They would pay for this. My face was going to be the last thing they saw.

A warm hand wrapped around my arm.

Beau was by my side, his face full of concern. "Please, Edward. Don't go after them. Don't leave me." His blue eyes were brimming with water. "You're not a villain."

I was horrified at myself. I reached out to him, but was nervous that he was scared of me. "Are you okay? Are you hurt?"

"I'm fine." I could feel him trying to pull me. "Can we go back to the car now?" He looked around nervously.

"You're safe." I comforted him. "No one is going to hurt you."

"Please." He begged.

I nodded and let him lead me back to the driver's seat. If he needed me, I would stay. No matter how badly I wanted to chase down those men.

When I put the car in drive and the lights started speeding past, I heard Beau breath a hiking sob.

I stared at him. Water was streaming out of his eyes. "Sorry." He waved it off. "I'm just."

"You're in shock." I stated. "Have you eaten?"

He started to laugh. I was puzzled. "You're worried about me?" His eyebrows arched.

"Edward," He ruffled his hair. "You got shot a moment ago and you're worried that _I'm_ in shock?"

I was about to lie. I was about to say it missed, but Beau unfolded his fist. On his palm rested the bullet.

I froze.

"Don't try to gaslight me. Don't try to lie." His hands were shaking but his voice was steady.

"I won't." I felt my walls coming down. I wouldn't keep any secrets from him. Not now. Not ever again. I would accept whatever he wanted once he had all the truth. A few minutes ago I had almost lost him forever. The idea of living in this world without him, shattered all my rules. He would get answers tonight if he wished. If he asked for it, I would hold nothing back.

"Are you hurt?" Beau's first question was marked with concern. This was his top priority. I nearly smiled.

"No."

"Did it hurt?"

"No."

He nodded. He seemed relieved. "You're amazing." Beau whispered and he sunk a little more relaxed in the seat. "How did you know I was there?"

"I'll answer your questions. I promise you, Beau that I will. But I need to handle them first. I can't let them get away."

"No!" Beau whimpered.

"You don't know what they were thinking." I said through clenched teeth.

"You're better than they are." Beau stated.

"You don't know that. You don't know me."

"Stay for me then." Beau pleaded. "I don't want to be alone."

My chest squeezed. I could deny Beau nothing, especially my company if he asked for it. I nodded slowly. "I'll stay."

Beau sighed in relief. "I still have questions."

"I'm sure you do. I will answer your questions, but will you do something for me in return?"

Beau shifted. "That depends."

"Will you accompany me to dinner? I am worried about you. That was very traumatic. I'll feel a lot better when you have something in your system."

Beau's face was unreadable. A grin began to spread. "Like a date?"

"If you wish." I was very aware that after tonight, I may never see him again. He would run. I wanted at least one evening with him, if not a lifetime.

Beau's phone rang. He answered it reluctantly. "Hello?"

I could hear Jessica on the other end.

"Oh, yes. . . . No don't worry about it. I ran into someone. . . .No that's fine. Actually, I'm going to dinner with him. It's a. . . long story. Edward. Yeah. . . Hey, Jessica, I'll talk to you later, okay? I have to go. Um, oh. . . yeah. . . I think I have a ride back?" He turned to me. "Will you take me home later?"

"Of course." I didn't want Beau out of my sight.

"Yeah, you're good." Beau said into the phone. "I'll see you tomorrow, okay? Bye."

We pulled up to the restaurant, a small Italian place.

Beau held back during dinner. We talked about trivial matters. When he started eating the pasta dish in front of him, I felt myself relax a little. Just a few minutes ago he was about to be lynched. Now he was eating, sitting next to a vampire, casually.

"I like your family." He stated after a sip of coke. I wasn't expecting that. After everything that had just happened, he was thinking about my family. "You're mother is very kind." He continued. "She loves you a lot." He spoke from a place of certain knowledge. "I'm pretty good at reading people too." He explained.

I leaned back. "They like you too." It was always a good and bad thing. Always both.

"I like that." He smiled.

"Me too." I responded truthfully. "Alice was very enthusiastic to meet you." Could he hear the disdain in my voice?

He swirled his spoon around his plate. "I hope you don't mind that I made plans with her. I can cancel them if that makes you uncomfortable."

"I'm not your keeper." I laughed. He nodded slowly.

"But it does make you uncomfortable?"

"No. Alice and I. . . see things differently. She's been dying to hang out with you though."

He smiled, pleased. I would have to apologize to Alice. She was looking forward to this plan, but I couldn't see how after tonight Beau would want anything to do with my family. She would be so devastated. Perhaps she could already see it.

"I thought you had questions." I was getting antsy. I could sense that something was coming to an end and I hated the anticipation. I wanted to rip the band off, I believe is the phrase.

"I do." He gulped down some coke. "But, not here."

"That bad?"

He nodded.

When we got back in the car, Beau was silent for a moment. He seemed to struggle with the words.

"I believe you had asked me earlier how I knew where you were." I offered as a starting point.

Beau smiled gratefully, "Yes."

"They were thinking about what they would do to you." I gripped the steering wheel tightly. I still wanted to find them. I had to find them, but that could wait.

Beau responded calmly, "You're able to read minds."

It wasn't a question. I nodded anyway. "Yes."

"Do you hear what I'm thinking now?"

"You're the one exception." He was the exception to everything.

"You can't read my mind at all?" His face turned up in surprise.

"You're absolute radio silence."

He pondered this for a second.

"How old are you Edward?" He was nervous asking this question.

"17" I responded quickly.

"How long have you been 17?"

I grinned. "A while."

He nodded, not surprised. This couldn't be happening. Beau was peeling away, layer by layer, my secrets and he wasn't phased at all. I hoped that once he got to the center of it all, that perhaps he could be so patient. I wasn't going to hold my breath. I was speeding out of Port Angeles. The sooner we got to Forks, the sooner Beau could escape. If Beau wanted to leave, I wanted him to have that option.

"You're eyes." He began again. "They change color. But I'm not sure what it's based on. You seem to be in a better mood the lighter they are, but I don't know why."

"When I'm full." I answered diplomatically.

"That makes sense. But I never see you eat."

Here it comes. He was so close. I greedily surveyed Beau, top to bottom, just in case this was the last time I would be this close to him. He would run. He would scream and run and I wouldn't stop him. He had every right to.

"I don't eat." I offered. I was nailing my own coffin. Digging my own grave. I was already imagining what it would be like tomorrow, no Beau in my life. "I drink."

"Edward." He began. And his eyes were locked onto mine. His voice suddenly thick with meaning and intensity. "Edward, I have one more theory. Would you like to hear it?"

I nodded. "I always want to know what you're thinking."

"Don't laugh." He warned. This was not a funny subject.

Beau folded his legs underneath him and kept his eyes on his hands. "Vampire." He didn't sound nervous. Not yet anyway.

When I spoke it was just a whisper. "Yes."

"Huh." Beau leaned back and smiled. He smiled. He smiled? "That makes sense. Except. How do you go out in the day without being burned?"

"Myth."

"Garlic and crucifixes?"

"Myth."

"Wow. This is crazy." Beau ruffled his hair.

I was flabbergasted. Here it was. My worst nightmare, revealing the monster I really was and Beau . . . wasn't frightened. "Are you sure you're okay?" Perhaps he was going insane.

"Never been better." Beau's gaze focused out the window. "I thought that I was going crazy. This makes a lot of sense. It's insane, but I'm glad you're telling me the truth."

"You haven't asked the most important question." I felt myself lining up the metaphorical nail, I grabbed the hammer. "Aren't you curious as to what I drink?"

"No." Beau shrugged. "I mean, I'm a little curious, obviously. I mean. You're a vampire right. It's blood, isn't it? But I've been thinking and it doesn't matter."

"It doesn't matter." I hissed. "It doesn't matter?"

Beau looked taken aback. Did I scare him now? I hoped I did.

"No." He continued. "Edward. I don't care what you are. I don't care what you do. I. . . just care about. . ." His words we getting caught, emotion clinging to them. "Edward, I just care about you. I want you. Nothing else matters."

I groaned. "This is wrong. Beau, this is all wrong. You shouldn't want me. You shouldn't feel that way."

"Don't tell me how to feel." He bit back.

My words had sharp edges too. "I'm saying this is insane. This isn't right. I'm not good for you. I'm a vampire, Beau. I drink blood to survive. I've killed before. I am a predator to your kind." I wavered. "I don't want to hurt you."

"It's too late." Beau responded bitterly. He folded his arms over his chest.

The worst thing in the world was seeing him hurt and knowing that I had done something to cause it.

"Don't say that." I whispered.

"You're doing it again. You're trying to control me and my feelings, but you can't. You can't. Edward. You've already done enough damage. Don't add to it, please."

"I don't understand." If only I could hear his thoughts. This was maddening.

"Do you want to hurt me?"

"Of course not."

"Then there's only one real option. You could kill me, sure, but that would physically destroy me. You could leave me, but that would hurt me too. Edward, that would hurt a lot more."

"What do I do?"

"Stay with me." Beau reached his hand out. His vulnerability turned me into putty. I placed mine in his. He rubbed the back of my hand with his thumb. "Just stay with me."

A moment went by in silence. We both reveled in the calm, like the eye of the storm.

Beau turned towards me. "So do you prey on humans?"

"No. We live off of animals. Big game mostly. That's just my family though. Our natural instinct is to feed on humans. But Carlisle wants us to be better."

"You don't want to be a monster." Beau said as if confirming his own theory.

"Yes." I agreed.

"Is it hard for you? To resist?"

"Yes."

"Is it hard for you now?"

"Yes. But don't worry Beau. I'm good at this life. You don't need to worry about that." Did I lie? Could I handle this? I wasn't sure myself but I wanted it to be true.

"I trust you." He spoke softly. I could die. I didn't want to betray his trust. I wouldn't.

We were nearing Forks. I wanted to stay in this moment forever. His hand, a normal temperature, felt like a furnace. I saw us: me a winter night, and him a comforting fireplace. Completely incompatible, but at the same time, a winter's night would be unbearable without the fire, and the fire would be unnecessary without the winter's storm.

"I would understand," Beau spoke, his eyebrows puckered up in complex emotions. "If you didn't. . . . It doesn't make sense for you to care for me. As I do for you."

I laughed.

"This isn't funny." Beau scowled. God, he was cute when he was angry.

"Do you honestly believe that you care more about me than I do for you?"

"I know I do."

"You're dead wrong, Beau Swan." I leaned into him. Letting my breath swirl on his face. "You mean more to me than anything in the world. And I will always feel this way."

He blinked. His face going completely blank. "Woah. How do you do that?

"Do what?"

"The thing, with the eyes and the voice, and the . . . you. You dazzle people."

"Do I dazzle you?"

"Frequently."

I liked this. My chest roared. He found me attractive. He found me desirable. He wanted me. Me, an oddball even within the realm of freaks.

A wave of sadness passing over his face.

"What's wrong?"

"I wish. I just wish I could have the same effect on you."

I held up my hand, it was still wrapped in his. Carefully, ever so carefully, I pressed my lips to the back of his hand. My kiss barely touched his heated skin. A glow radiated throughout me. "You enchant me."

An hour ago I was planning the murder of 4 individuals. 30 minutes ago, I was preparing to reveal the darkest secrets the world contained. And now? Now I was in the middle of a contest of "who cares the most." What a strange evening.

"You should probably go in now." I nodded towards the house reluctantly. I didn't want him to leave. I was worried that the space we created in the car would burst once the door opened like a bubble and everything would fall apart. It was just us here in our own universe. The rest of the world felt unreal. When Beau would go back to his reality, would he come to his senses? When he brushed his teeth and got in bed what would he think of me? The motions of a normal life would clash with everything this car ride meant. Would he still feel the same in the morning?

"How fast were you driving?" Beau checked his watch, oblivious that we had even stopped.

I shrugged. "No faster than normal." I was actually driving slower than I would have, wanting to prolong my time with him.

"Speeding is dangerous. You could hurt somebody."

Was he actually critiquing my driving habits? I bit back a grin. "I'm a very good driver, Beau."

"Well, my father is a cop. I've been raised to obey traffic laws."

"Reasonable." I allowed it. "Speaking of your dad. He's waiting for you. Apparently Jessica called and let it slip that you weren't riding back with them. He's worried."

Beau groaned. "What should I tell him?"

"Well." I held up our hands. "You should tell him the truth."

He raised his eyebrows at me. I flashed a wide smile. "Not the whole truth, obviously."

"Obviously." He concurred.

"You can say you got lost in Port Angeles. And that I just so happened to be in the area and found you. Then I took you to dinner and offered to take you home."

Beau nodded. "That's truth enough, I suppose. I'm bad at lying." He paused a moment. "Will he ask if we're dating?"

If my heart were beating, it would have skipped. I wished Charlie would ask that question. I wanted to know the answer too.

"I'm not a psychic. That's Alice." I saw the question forming on Beau's face. "Later, Beau. You need to let Charlie know you're okay." I pulled my hand away from under his. It now burned with the absence of his warmth. I managed to resist the urge of putting it back.

"Will you promise me something?" Beau asked, eyes baleful. "Will you promise not to disappear? You are mythical after all. How will I know you won't vanish in the morning?"

It still surprised me that he could want me. He knew who I was, what I was. . . and he still wanted me.

"I won't leave you unless you ask me to." I responded.

"So, I'll see you tomorrow." He said confidently. His confidence made me smile.

"I'll see you tomorrow." If he changed his mind, Alice would tell me.

As he stumbled out of the car, he looked back at me, like Beau was making sure I was still here. That I still existed.

His absence left a hole in the space where he sat. It was like a vacuum. Without him, my mind turned to the violent men in the alleyway. I wanted to stay close to Beau, but I had to deal with them.

I picked up my phone. I wanted to call Jasper. I imagined what he would say. We would hunt them together. We would both let ourselves give in to our nature. No Jasper was trying so hard. This would set him back.

I could call Rosalie. She had practice in taking out humans without drinking them. I didn't want their blood. I wanted them to stop existing. Anyone that threatened Beau shouldn't get to breath the same air.

I thought of Beau holding me back. What did he say in the alleyway? " _You're not a villain."_

I sighed. Beau believed I was good. I wanted to be the man he thought I was. I dialed the phone number out of muscle memory.

"Carlisle." I greeted. "I have a situation. . ."

* * *

 **AN: How am I doing? Let me know if you liked/didn't like this chapter. Thanks for reading. Next chapter will include some lemons. Make sure you are followed.  
**

 **Question: How do we feel about following the nomad vampire/ballet studio scenario? I'm trying to figure out if I'm going to follow that plot or not. Let me know if you'd like to see something different, I have a few alternative ideas. - Rosalie**


	11. Chapter 11: Wet

_AN: What up. One thing that kind of bugged me about Life and Death is that you KNOW Beau was probably having a hard time keeping it in his pants. He's a teenage boy, right? Any who, nothing. . . too graphic in this one. But it does get weird. You'll see what I mean. Enjoy._

 _Chapter 11: Wet_

 _Beau's POV_

* * *

Charlie was waiting for me inside. I told him the spiel. The modified truth Edward said I could tell.

"Hm. Well." Charlie unfolded his arms. He was standing in the living room, the game still playing behind him. "Are you sure you don't want to go to the dance with one of those girls?"

"Dad," I rolled my eyes. Unbelievable. I tell him I ditched the girls I was shopping with to have dinner with the most attractive guy on the planet and Charlie thinks that maybe I'll go to the dance with a girl? Wow. "Do we have to have this conversation again? I thought I made it pretty clear."

"It's a shame, is all." The words sounded rough. His mustache twitched on his lip.

 _Shame?_ Okay, we are really doing this. "Shame?" I backed up into the entryway. "Dad, are you ashamed of me?" I had just confirmed that Edward was a vampire not long ago, but I still had to deal with this homophobic shit? Come on!

I could see Charlie try to back track. "No. No. It's just, the guys at the station." He was fumbling with words. Talking wasn't his strong point. "It's a small town, Beau. I work with Erica's father, did you know that?"

I knew I came out to the public in a very rude and angry way. Erica didn't deserve that. I would admit it wasn't the right time or the way way. But he thought that he had it rough? That I was a problem? That I was shameful?

Charlie looked down and continued. "Did you ever think what kind of blowback I would get?"

I shook my head in disbelief. "I'm sorry to be such an inconvenience." My words were dripping with sarcasm. "It must be so hard to have a gay son. I can't imagine the hardships you're facing." Try being in love with a vampire.

I marched past him and stomped up the stairs.

"Beau!" He called up.

I slammed the door behind me.

I had a restless night. At one point I woke up at 2am, eyes alert and awake. Instead of trying to go back to sleep I decided to get up. I had a lot of things on my mind. There was nothing like the silent night to work through things while the rest of the world was fast asleep. I rolled over and grabbed a book from my bedside table and turned on the light. It was so quiet at this time. The only sound was the slow groaning of the house whenever the wind picked up.

A jacket in my closet fell off a hook. "Jesus." I gasped, startled by the movement. I got up and put it back on the hanger then returned to my bed and my book.

I got about two pages in, when I began to read the same sentence seven times. I didn't even realize I was reading the same thing over and over again until the pages began ruffling by a strong draft. Wind was blowing through my open bedroom window, making the pages quiver.

Until now, I hadn't realized the window was open. Odd. Maybe Charlie came in when I was asleep. Yawning, I got up and shut it. It slid down easily for a window I barely used. I couldn't shake a feeling of paranoia. Standing by the window, I surveyed the neighborhood. Nothing looked out of the ordinary. Still, I felt like I was being watched. After everything I learned and saw tonight, nothing was ordinary anymore. Anything was possible.

Stretching my arms above my head, I sighed. I wasn't tired. I knew If I tried to go back to sleep I would just end up staring at my ceiling for three hours.

So, like all good victims of a horror movie do, I decided to take a shower. The water, hot, melted away the stress of the day. I breathed in the steamy air, letting the water hit my shoulders and roll down my back. I was upset with my dad. I wasn't shocked, but I was still hurt. Charlie has always been such a fixed point in my life, like an anchor. That no matter what kind of turmoil or trouble I faced, Charlie would be there. Was I wrong? I knew he wasn't comfortable with my sexuality but I didn't think that meant he wanted me to change. But tonight, he clearly wanted me to pretend to be something I'm not.

Is something wrong with me? Should I be ashamed of myself? Edward told me he was a vampire tonight, but I was in more disbelief of my father. That above the "my boyfriend is a mythical creature" is tying me up in knots.

I never really struggled with this before. No one had made me feel lesser than, at least not by people that mattered. Charlie mattered.

I wasn't going anywhere with this line of thinking. I wish I had someone to talk to about this. I found myself thinking about having this conversation with Edward. I wish he were here. He, more than anybody else in this town, could relate.

I thought about Edward. I was always thinking about Edward, true, but so many things had happened last night. I reasoned with myself that I should be. . . scared. I couldn't make myself feel differently about him. He was amazing. He was good. He was complicated. He was a mystery I wanted to unravel for the rest of my life.

There were three things I was absolutely certain of. 1) Edward Cullen is a vampire. 2) Some part of him wants my blood.

And the only one that mattered 3) I'm unconditionally and eternally in love with him.

When I stepped out of the shower I grabbed for a towel but only touched air. My blue towel was still somewhere in my room. Damn. I stood for a second in the shower, trying to let everything air dry as much as possible before I had to drip water through the bathroom, across the hallway, and into my room. I shook my hair out and ran a wet hand through it as if that would help. I carefully stepped out. Knowing my penchant for being clumsy, I had to be extra cautious.

I opened the bathroom door but before I could walk through, I saw my blue towel hanging on the door knob. Now, I know for a fact I didn't put my towel there. Someone placed it on the knob. Someone knew I needed it.

Perhaps it was the same person that opened my window.

"Oh." I breathed. I closed the bathroom door and turned to lean my back against it. My breathing hiked and my heart started racing.

Quickly, I rubbed dry and tied the towel around my waist. I opened the bathroom door again and quietly passed through the hall. I gingerly opened my bedroom door, peering in as if it wasn't my own anymore.

"Hello?" I whispered into my empty room. The clock on my bedside table read 3:12. My lamp was still on. There was no reply. "Edward, are you here?" I stepped further in. There couldn't be another explanation. It had to be him, right? But the longer I stood in my empty room with nothing on but a towel, the sillier I felt.

No one was here. It was just me whispering to nobody. I felt like an idiot. I slipped on a fresh pair of boxers and pulled on a sweatshirt. I stood by the window with narrow eyes, arms folded. I was upset with myself for jumping to conclusions. I was so obsessed with him. For a moment, I hoped that he had spied on me. Vampires were nocturnal after all, right? I imagined him watching me as I slept. A thrill ran up my spine.

My body felt like live wires. I needed him with every inch of skin. I groaned and leaned my head on the window between my hands. "Edward." I breathed. He was haunting me in my thoughts.

"Yes?" A velvet voice answered.

I whipped around. Edward was sitting at the edge of my bed. "Oh!" I yelped and nearly fell over.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to scare you." His arms lunged forward to catch me. The smile on his face was ruthless.

I suddenly lost the ability to speak. I just stared open mouthed at him. Edward. Edward. Gorgeous. Impossible Edward. On my bed.

And then I thought about me, with just a tattered sweatshirt and boxers. Did he see me change? I could feel the flush of red staining my skin. Red blotches growing on my face, my neck and chest. I could even feel my legs getting warmer. I knew that must make it difficult for him. "Sorry." I pleaded.

His face and body froze in place. Crap.

He began to thaw out after a moment. "It's fine. I'm the one trespassing." He managed to say through tight lips. "Are you okay? Shouldn't you be asleep?"

I shook my head. "I'm not okay. My dad, well, we kind of got into it last night. I've had a lot on my mind."

He patted the spot next to him. I obliged and sat cross legged with him. Close, so close but never touching.

"I'm sorry." He whispered. "Is there anything I can do to help?"

"It just sucks to have someone question your. . . your being. Ya know?"

"I understand that more than most." Edward said gravely.

I should be more surprised that Edward was in my house, but it didn't seem that strange in the moment. It's what I wanted after all. Nothing felt very real anyway, not at this hour.

"What did your family think when you told them?" I asked curiously. "How did they handle it?"

He told me that Carlisle was only disappointed that it took him so long to tell him. That it didn't matter to him or Esme who he liked as long as he was being honest. "Emmett though," he said after moment. "It kind of freaks Emmett out, but he's keeping his mouth shut about it now. It's difficult. I can hear them thinking all the time. I try not to judge anyone by their thoughts, but it gets hard. He'll get over it eventually. Charlie will too. This is new for him."

I nodded. "You're very patient."

"I've had a lot of practice." He tilted his head. I yawned involuntarily. "You should get some sleep before school."

I nodded. But I didn't move.

Edward stood up. I still didn't move.

"Are you tired?"

"Yes." I admitted. I could feel the sleepy haze pulling me down.

"Then you should get some more rest. I'm sorry for distracting you."

"S'okay. I don't mind. "Will I see you tomorrow...er today?"

"How about I pick you up?"

I nodded sleepily. "That would be nice."

Feeling drowsy I fell back on my bed. My eyes closed against my will. I faintly remember cold hands pulling covers over me.

xxx

I've had dreams about Edward before. But not dreams like this.

It started out normal. I was running in the woods. I was trying to keep up with a figure in the distance but my legs were going slow as if I was moving through molasses. I called out, "Stay, Edward." Not sure if the figure could hear me.

Then the dream began to shift around the edges. Shadows swallowed me up and when I reemerged, images flashed in black and white, like an old film noir. Nothing stayed still long enough for me to focus on but I knew what was happening. The whole tone of the dream was drenched in a heavy fog of sex and desire.

Edward was everywhere. Body naked. Everywhere. Edward everywhere. Pale hands ripped my shirt off. A cold wet tongue licked from the top of my chest down to my V. God the feeling was insane. A gentle caress on my thigh. A heavy handed push on my back, bending me over. A hard cock rising against my back. I leaned against the pressure. Hands on my chest. Edward between my legs. Edward on top of me. Or behind me? Everywhere. Edward, everywhere. I was kissing his chest, biting at his nipple. He growled in pleasure. I tried to massage his dick, but the dream wouldn't stay still. The picture kept changing, but my desire only increased. Black and white Edward grinned so that dracula styled fangs peeked out from his lips. Something was massaging the space behind my scrotum. I whimpered. The images blurred together. At one point I swear Edward had large bat wings stretching from his back. Was that a tail? I couldn't focus. I thrusted and dragged my hips against him. My dick was hard and pulsating. I could feel it twitch towards him. I couldn't get close enough. It was driving me insane that I couldn't get the friction I needed. Every time I tried to pull him closer, the image changed like it was avoiding me. I was going to explode.

"I want you inside me." I moaned. This Bram Stoker's version of Edward responded by kissing along the hollow of my neck. I looked up desperately into Edward's red eyes. His fangs bared and I briefly felt them slash into my throat.

I woke with a start. Cold sweat beaded on my forehead. "Damn." I sunk deeper into my pillow. I tried to relax so I could get up. My morning wood was. . . prominent. My boxers left plenty of room for my penis to erect. I moved my hand down to test something. My hand came up with my own semen. "Damn."

After a few minutes, I was able to get up, wash up, and get dressed. The visceral feelings the dream produced were fading away like sand in my palm. Nothing seemed real. I'm not sure I ever had a dream like that. Not even during puberty did I ever have a real wet dream that I could remember. It was strange. Everything was so strange now. But I liked it. I wanted more. Only I wanted the real Edward.

* * *

 ** _AN: Thanks for reading! Leave me a review and I'll post the next chapter.  
_**

 ** _Question time: Are we for or against werewolves making an appearance?_**

 ** _\- Rosalie_**


	12. Chapter 12: Invitations

Chapter 12: Invitations

Beau's POV

* * *

I ran into Charlie on his way to work. I just started on a bowel of cereal. I swirled around the little peices in milk. He was just putting on his jacket.

"Hey." He huffed.

"Hey." I repeated.

Charlie looked down a moment and then up at me. "I'm sorry."

"S'okay." I mumbled. I'd rather just forgive and forget and never talk about it again.

He stayed and grappled over his next words. "If, um. If you and um, Edward are. . . seeing each other. You can invite him over. I'd like to meet him."

"Really?" I raised my eyebrows.

"Yeah. You like him, right?"

I blushed. "I do." I ran my fingers through my hair.

"If he's important to you, he's important to me." Charlie reasoned. "Bring him over anytime."

I couldn't help the smile on my face. I doubt he would be so polite if he knew that Edward was over last night.

"Cool. I'll ask."

"Alright, have a good day." Charlie exited the house.

I heard Charlie's car leave the driveway, and barely three seconds later there was a knock on my door.

I dropped my spoon into my cereal.

As I raced to the door my socks slid on the hardwood and I just barely avoided crashing into the wall.

"Good morning," Edward greeted on the other side of the door. He looked peaceful, happy. He was wearing a grey coat and thick knitted scarf. A grin turned up the corner of his lips. He held up two steaming to-go cups. "Coffee or tea?"

It took me a minute to register what he meant. "Oh, um, tea."

Edward held out the cup in his right hand. "It's Earl Grey. Is that okay?"

"That's my favorite." I assured him.

"Not a coffee drinker?" He questioned.

"No. The caffeine makes me jittery." I was already jittery. My heart probably couldn't take anymore.

"Interesting." Edward continued to ask questions about trivial things on our way to school. I didn't understand why he was so interested in things like, my favorite sport, my favorite team, if I liked broccoli or not. However, he seemed excited to know every dumb answer. I answered between sips of tea.

He was about to ask another question when he parked at school, but I interrupted him.

"Is it okay that I told my dad we are seeing each other?"

His features softened. "Of course." Then he added seriously. "If that's what you want. I don't want to rush you. You always have the option of saying no. I don't want you to be scared to say no to me. Whatever you decide, I'll respect your choices."

I almost laughed. I couldn't imagine ever wanting to say 'no' to Edward Cullen. It wasn't in my vocabulary.

"So, that means you'll be my. . . boyfriend?" I winced at the word. It didn't fit Edward. It didn't feel big enough for us.

He grinned sensing my hesitation for the term. "Boyfriend will do for now." He responded.

My stomach did flips.

"Boyfriend." I repeated, letting it sink in. _I have a boyfriend. My boyfriend is Edward Cullen. Holy shit._

Edward got out and opened my door. I rolled my eyes. "I get it, you're physically superior in every way, but I _can_ open my own door." I scowled playfully.

"Well, I don't know about that." A suspicious smile illuminating his face. "It's not like I have wings or a tail." He bumped my arm casually with his side and chuckled.

My eyes got big. "Wh-what?" The dream from last night. "H-how. . . ?"

"You talk in your sleep." He shrugged with a wicked grin.

My stomach dropped and I could feel the red blush creeping on my skin. "Oh, noooo." I groaned.

Edward just laughed and put his hand on the small of my back as we made our way into school.

I was speechless. How much had he heard. How much had he seen? Oh god. No. No. No. What a nightmare. I was pretty sure my face was the color of a tomato and my ears were steaming. It never crossed my mind that I had a witness to my early morning wet dream. Fuck. What had I said? I couldn't remember any details of the dream now, only that it was. . . . arousing. We hadn't even kissed yet. Our contact was bare minimum. The dream last night was 0-100 and also kind of. . . creepy.

Just then I heard Jessica across the parking lot. "Oh. My. GOD!"

Edward scrunched his face up as if he smelled something rotten. "Jessica has a lot of ideas of what happened last night. She thinks we slept together." He whispered in my ear.

"Well, she's not completely wrong." I reasoned.

Edward laughed. "I don't even sleep, though."

"Really?"

"Really."

"Like, never?"

"Never."

"Huh." I chewed that over. "I still have a lot of questions for you. About you. And your family."

We were nearing the entrance now, about to part ways. "I'm sure you do." Edward said thoughtfully. "Why don't you come over tonight? Jasper's been wanting to have a Die Hard Marathon for awhile. You should come."

"Vampire's are Bruce Willis fans?" I chuckled.

"It's a classic." Edward shrugged.

"Okay. That sounds. . . fun." I accepted.

xxx

"So." Jessica gushed when I sat down for trig. "What. Happened. Tell me everything."

I shrugged nonchalantly. I imagined Edward sitting in his class listening in with his special ability.

"Remember when you said that Edward didn't think any of the girls here were good enough for him?"

She nodded, remembering the memory of my first day.

"You were right." I chuckled. "He doesn't like girls."

"Shut. Up." Jessica huffed, but I could tell she loved this juicy gossip. "I need details."

I told her what I told Charlie.

"So are you two. . . are you?" She left off suggestively.

"Dating? Yes." I was just as mystified as her.

Class started. About halfway through, when the teacher turned his back to write on the wall, Jessica turned to me. "Are you going public?"

"Why shouldn't I?"

"So, it's like serious. You really like him?"

I grinned. "Yeah. I really like him. But I mean, come on. It's Edward. He's amazing."

She put her hands over her cheeks and squeeled "I ship it" in a high pitched voice.

I rolled my eyes. She sounded like a girl who writes fanfiction in the middle of the night.

Edward was waiting for me outside the class room when the teacher dismissed us.

"Hello, Jessica," He greeted her politely.

"Hi." She gasped. She started blushing.

"Sorry for stealing Beau last night. Did you find your dresses?"

"Not a problem. And yes!" She grinned. Jessica took a step back and looked between the two of us. "You know, you two could come to the dance still. It's girls choice, but everyone is welcome."

"Tempting." Edward said thoughtfully. "Beau?"

"Listen, Edward. We have good thing going. If you see my dance moves, that might jeopardize everything."

Jessica laughed the loudest. "That's so funny."

Mike came up behind her. He eyed us warily. "Hey, Jessica. Come on." He pulled her away from us.

"Oh. Um, okay. Bye, Beau. Bye, Edward." She was red.

People stared as Edward escorted me to my next couple of classes. I could see Edward's change in expression. Perhaps he was reacting to the thoughts pointed at us.

"I hate high school." He muttered under his breath as we walked to lunch.

"Is it people's thoughts?"

He pinched the bridge of his nose, and nodded.

"Sorry." I stated.

"It's not your fault. Stop apologizing for things out of your control."

"Sorry." I responded. He raised his eyebrows at me. "Er, sorry." I couldn't stop the cycle.

"Come on, Beau." He chuckled. "What do you want for lunch?"

He piled a bunch of things on a plate and paid for it before I could get out my wallet.

As we walked to the empty table we sat at yesterday, I looked at the normal Cullen table. The normal Vampire table, I should say. Alice waved. I waved back and grinned. Emmett looked briefly, he raised both eyebrows. I saw his mouth open and close so fast, I couldn't be sure if he actually did. Rosalie hit his head with the back of her hand playfully. She looked at Edward and shook her head, but she didn't look at me. Jasper didn't turn at all.

"Are you sure I can come over tonight?" I asked. Suddenly, self conscious.

"Of course." Edward responded smoothly. "Why? Are you scared?"

"Well, it is a house of vampires." I reasoned.

"Good point."

"But, what if they don't like me? I mean. I'm not so good at first impressions."

"You're incredible." Edward shook his head.

"You're a newly out homosexual too. This is the first time you're bringing a boy home to meet the family. That's a lot of weight on my shoulders."

"You've already met my family."

"But, not like this. Not . . . together. And with no. . . secrets." I uttered. "Do they know I know?"

"Ah, well." Edward started. "They're learning it now."

I looked back at them. Alice was talking and using her hands expressively. Just then, Jasper glanced my way. His eyes were dark, brooding, and cautious.

Edward hissed under his breath.

"What was that?"

"Don't mind, Jasper. He's just being protective. He's lived a different way of life before joining us. One that didn't allow for missteps or mistakes."

"Am I a mistake?" I couldn't hide the hurt in my voice.

"Of course not, silly. It's just if things go south. Now that we are open about our relationship, my family could be implicated. Jasper and Rosalie don't have a problem with you. Or us. They're just concerned."

"Concerned that things could go south." I clarified. Edward nodded. "And what exactly does that mean?"

Edward's eyes were dark. "If I lost control. If I hurt you."

He said hurt, but I knew he meant 'kill.'

Involuntarily, I gulped.

"Are you scared now?" Edward asked sadly.

"No." But I answered too quickly. Edward noticed and his lips curled up.

"I want to say you have nothing to be afraid of, but I can't deny that there is a possibility that I'll lose it. If you get too close, or move in an unexpected way . . . I don't want to hurt you."

"Is it that hard for everyone?"

"No. I'm the most dangerous one out of my family around you."

I chewed that over. "What can I do to help?"

Edward shrugged. "This is my problem."

"Well, I'm sort of the chief person involved in it. Tell me what I can do to make it easier?"

"I'm not really sure yet. This is new for me." A flash of an idea crossed his face. "Since, we're not going to the dance on Saturday. Would you like to spend the day with me?"

"Sure." It always sounded like he didn't expect me to say yes to him. "What did you have in mind?"

"You wanted to know what happened when I go out into the sun." Edward said. "I'll show you, if you want."

I bit back a grin. I didn't know what I was expecting, what Edward could possibly show me, but I could tell it was very personal and intimate. That he would let me in that way into his world. . . it felt good.

I nodded in answer.

"You can always say no, Beau. I'm not forcing you into anything. It. . . being alone with you for so long. It could put you in danger."

I didn't care about the danger. I hung on the 'alone for so long' bit.

"You know, I can be pretty opinionated. I wouldn't agree to something I didn't want to do."

"Like going to the dance?"

"Exactly. Now that would be truly dangerous." I laughed, but Edward didn't.

"I'm serious, Beau. Please think about it."

"Dancing? Yeah, I've learned over the years that it's not a good idea."

"You know what I meant." Edward gently kicked my shoe under the table.

I sighed. "Fine, I'll think about it." I waited to two seconds. "I want to see what happens when you're in the sunlight."

Edward rolled his eyes. "Okay. But you can always cancel."

"Edward, when will you ever accept that it doesn't matter to me what you are?"

"You don't know everything yet." He said sadly. "It would be safer for you if we weren't together, if I could separate myself."

"Is that why you always sound like you're trying to leave? Trying to give me an escape route?"

"You noticed?"

I nodded.

"So, is there no hope then?" Despair souring my tone.

"No." His face unfathomable. "No, there's always hope. I'm strong enough. I'll prove it to you. I'll prove it to myself."

"Am I interrupting something?" Alice appeared on his brother's side.

"Shit." I nearly jumped out of my skin. I didn't see her coming.

Edward laughed and patted Alice on the hand. "It's okay, Alice. I think you've forgotten how easy it is to scare humans. They're very jumpy."

"Oh, sorry." Alice apologised. She turned to her brother. "Have you asked him yet?"

"That's your job." Edward grinned.

She huffed and looked at me. "Edward's leaving tomorrow with Carlisle and Esme. I thought that, since Edward won't be hogging you to himself, we could go shopping."

"You're leaving?" I asked Edward. This was news to me. Why didn't he tell me?

"If you agreed to spend Saturday with me, I plan on taking every precaution. Making sure my appetite is full is one of those precautions."

"So you'll be hunting?" I gathered. Edward out in the forest. A predator after blood. A tried to hide the shiver going down my spine.

"Yes." Edward answered eying me closely, as if waiting for me to run.

Alice spoke up again. "Yeah, yeah, yeah whatever. But do you want to go shopping tomorrow?"

I beamed at her. "Hell yeah." Her smile mirrored mine.

All three of us talked until lunch was over. I could already tell that Alice and I were going to get along like stilettos and a little black dress.

"Is tonight going to be a slumber party?" Alice asked Edward. He raised an eyebrow, then glanced at me.

"Oh. Um."

"Because," Alice continued. "Beau's not going to make it through the second movie."

I gulped. I must have paled because Edward and Alice stared at me inquisitively before busting out laughing. "Not like that." Alice amended. "You're gonna fall asleep, silly."

"Oh." I breathed in relief. "Wait, how do you know. . . ?"

Alice punched Edward's shoulder. "He doesn't know that either?" She questioned.

He just shrugged, a small pout on his lips.

"I see the future." Alice said for me, but her eyes were on Edward. I could tell she was having an entirely different conversation with Edward in her mind.

"It's subjective." Edward added tersely.

Alice rolled her eyes. "See you later, Beau. Bring an extra toothbrush tonight just in case."

"What was that about?" I asked Edward in biology.

He just shrugged as class began. That was his way of letting me know that the subject was dropped.

* * *

 **AN: Next chapter is loosely based off of my first date with my boo. So, I'm rather fond of it.**

 **Let me know how I'm doing. Thanks for reading. - Rosalie**


	13. Chapter 13: I Made You Dinner

_Chapter 13: I Made you Dinner_

 _Beau's POV_

* * *

Edward held my hand as he drove me home. He kept up with the barrage of questions. I answered as best as possible. I blushed when he asked if I had ever had a relationship before. "Not one that actually counted."

"What does that mean?" He eyed me curiously.

"In kindergarden I proposed to this girl named Lucy. She kissed my cheek once, but then I told her she gave me cooties so she didn't talk to me again. I knew pretty early on that I was gay before I knew what that meant." I laughed.

"You haven't dated anyone else?" He looked surprised. I shook my head no. "There are a lot of students in your old school, though. I'm sure you had crushes."

I shrugged. "Not really. I never really got along with people in Phoenix. What about you?"

"No." Edward blinked. "During the time I grew up, it was never even talked about. I didn't even know what to call myself until a few years after I had become a vampire. There wasn't any homosexual vocabulary taught back then."

"What time was that?" I edged curiously. I mean, come on, I should at least know how old this guy was that I'm dating.

"Early 1900's." Edward glanced at my expression. I knew he would, so I kept my cool.

"You've seen a lot, then."

"Yes." He smiled. "What does that make you think. It's still so frustrating not knowing."

"I think that if my father ever found out I was dating an older man, he would freak out." I laughed.

"But how does that make you feel?" Edward pressed.

I shrugged. "You're a vampire. It kind of comes with the package." I ruffled my hair, flustered. "I . . . I kind of think it's hot."

I could tell Edward wasn't expecting that. He barked out a laugh. "You're insane." He kissed the back of my hand. "Utterly insane. But since you mentioned your father. . . Are you going to tell him you're coming over tonight?"

I bit my lip. "Um. I was thinking, about telling him that I'm hanging out with Jessica or something."

"Why?" His eyes narrowed.

"I was just thinking about what you said earlier. . . about if something bad happens. I don't want your family indicated in anything."

His face turned fierce. "Then that's one less reason to give you back."

I looked somewhere else, anywhere else. "This is how I help you." I pointed out.

"It's foolish."

"It's what I'm doing." I replied confidently. In my head I realized this might be our first fight. I was defying a vampire. My mind was set and I liked being able to control something on my own. Edward has already done so much for me, I was going to do this for him, whether he liked it or not.

"So," I breathed after a moment of Edward's icy silence. "Are you picking me up later?"

He nodded, breaking out of a statue stillness. "Yes. I'll be back at 6, if that's allright."

"Sounds good. I've got some home work I need to work on. I'm excited and nervous. Mostly excited, I think? That could be my nerves masquerading as excitement though."

Edward laughed and gently squeezed my hand. "It'll be fine." He promised. "I'll see you soon."

I opened my car door.

"One more thing," Edward called to me. "What kind of food do you like?"

"I like Italian?" I shrugged. His smile was mischievous.

I tried not to turn back as I walked to my door. By the time I was in my room and looked out my window Edward was gone.

Xxx

I was making a small dinner for Charlie. Charlie hadn't come home yet. He said he was going to be working really late. Someone had called in sick so he was working two shifts. How convenient. He asked if I could save some dinner for him.

I was just putting a meal up for him when there was a knock at the door. I flew to the entrance and nearly slammed against the wall when I opened the door.

"Ed-oh." I was expecting my bronze haired enigma to be on the other side of the door. Instead it was only Alice. "Oh. It's you." My voice couldn't hide how deflated I felt.

"Hello, it's nice to see you too." She rolled her eyes.

"Sorry." I mumbled. "Is everything okay?"

"Well." She sighed. "Edward's decided to make you dinner." Her tone sounded apologetic.

"Oh," I responded. "That doesn't sound bad." It was actually really sweet.

"No, It will be bad." She touched her temple. Right. She's the psychic. "I've come early to get you food beforehand." Alice and I grinned at each other.

"What's living with Edward like?" I asked as she drove away from the local drive in. I had a greasy hamburger in hand. I wanted dirt on Edward: dirt only his sister had.

"Well, it's sort of like living with Big Brother. Only its your real brother. And he's not tied to any government agencies. And he doesn't want to know everything. Or anything. He can't help it. Though, that doesn't appear to be an issue for you." She eyed me curiously. "I wonder why that is? Have you ever had any hallucinations? Or heard voices?"

"Um. No?" I racked my brain, taking it seriously. I knew I was probably insane, but not like that. "So, you don't like being around him because he gets in your head?"

"No. Not at all. Edward is our glue." She leaned in. "Don't tell Rosalie, but Edward's my favorite. Everyone always congratulates Carlisle with his patience and his ability to see the best in people. But Edward does too, even when he sees their thoughts. He still thinks humanity is worth protecting. He never judges a person by their thoughts. He's impossibly understanding and incredibly kind. Edward's patience is unending and he is fiercely loyal. He would do anything for either one of us. He would do anything for you." She bit her lip. "Beau," She hesitated. "Beau, Edward is one the greatest men to ever exist. We all love him so much."

"Is the part where you tell me if I hurt him, you're gonna kick my ass?"

Alice laughed. "No, no. But if you do hurt him, I will be severely disappointed in you. And you don't want that."

"Noted."

She sighed, "Beau, Edward's been the odd man out in our family for too long. I have Jasper. Rosalie found Emmett. Carlisle had Esme only a few years after finding Edward. Edward never said anything about it. He never got jealous. But. . . " She tilted her head. "We're so so happy he's found you. This is the happiest Edward has ever been. He deserves it. Of anyone I've ever known, he deserves this. He deserves you."

I was speechless. Suddenly, I was feeling very unworthy of his affection.

We had pulled up to the house. Alice kissed my cheek, gracefully, before heading out.

Alice opened the door. "The human is here!" Alice announced playfully.

Emmett and Jasper were standing by the TV. They waved at me but didn't come closer. Alice flitted to Jasper's side and hugged him. Esme was on the floor, in front of the white couch. Leaning over a guitar, Esme plucked out chords hesitantly. "Hey, Beau." She beamed up at me.

"Hey, Mrs. Cullen. Good to see you again. Do you play?" She looked a lot younger than I remember. Maybe it was because she seemed a lot more casual.

"Call me Esme. And well," She nodded at the guitar. "I'm trying to learn. New hobby I decided to pick up."

"That's awesome."

"Full house tonight." She glanced around. There was an awful lot of movement for a house of people who were normally so still. "How are you?"

"Good. Um, where is Edward?" Just then I heard pans dropping and someone hissing, "Shit."

"Is the kitchen this way?" I asked Esme.

She nodded. "I can give you a tour."

"That's okay. I got it." I made my way to the kitchen, passed what looked like a dinning room, but the table was missing. Eight elegant looking chairs were crowded along the walls. I saw smoke coming through the door to the kitchen. When I walked in, Edward had a spatula in one hand and an oven mitt on in the other. I laughed. He looked so confused.

"Everything okay?" A smile still plastered on my face.

"Erm. Yes. I'm making you dinner." Edward looked back at me, his confused expression melting away like butter into a grin.

"I can see that." I sniffed the air. "What's burning?"

"Oh." Edward opened the oven and pulled out a covered dish. "Your dinner." He said pathetically.

"How long was that in there?"

"Only 20 minutes." Edward shrugged. "The directions said to leave it in for 40 minutes on 300. So I thought. . . "

I looked over to find the oven bake setting was set to 500. "Jesus." I turned the knob to the off position.

"That's not how food works, Edward." I laughed.

He looked so crestfallen. I remembered what Alice said. He deserved happiness. "May I?" I gestured towards Edwards oven mitts.

I put one on and took off the lid to the pasta dish. A mushroom cloud of smoke followed with it. I coughed subtly and waved the smoke away. I looked inside and found slightly burnt cheese stuffed pasta shells. "Oh, this isn't bad at all, Edward." I grinned.

"Really?"

"Yeah. Very edible." I sidled up close to him. "Thank you." I leaned my lips into his shoulder. "This is so thoughtful." I wanted to hug him from behind, wrap my arms around his waist, and hold him tight, but I wasn't sure if that's one of the things that would make it worse for him. Alice said Edward was patient, then I would have to be too.

Rosalie sauntered in. "Ugh, it smells horrible in here. I hope it doesn't stick." She said with her nose upturned. "Hi. We haven't met yet. I'm Rosalie." She offered her hand.

"Hey." I answered. "The guys at school think you're hot." I don't know why I said that, but she smiled like I gave her an enormous compliment.

"Of course they do." She laughed and leaned towards me. "Oh, Edward was right. You do smell good."

Edward blinked. I could feel like no one really knew what to say. The whole house got quieter. I broke the silence.

"Man, if I had a dollar for every time someone said that to me. . . I would have an unfortunate amount of dollars." I heard light chuckling throughout the house. Emmett appeared next to Rosalie. He seemed to be in a good mood. I remember what Edward had said about his feelings on homosexual relationships.

"What's up? I'm Emmett." He nodded, but he didn't want to shake my hand. I didn't mind. He looked like he would shatter mine on accident.

"Oh, just about to eat dinner cooked by my vampire boyfriend and watch movies with his vampire family. Normal. Ya, know." Emmett laughed.

"You're funny. I like you." I laughed too. I wasn't sure if I was still nervous or not, but having Emmett's approval made me feel better. He didn't seem that hard to impress though.

I sat down at the kitchen counter and took a bite after I let the shells cool.

"How is it?" Edward said hovering over me.

"It's really good!" I said while chewing. And it was good, under the burnt layers.

"You mean it?"

"Yeah. Not bad, Cullen." I grinned. I took another bite. This bite didn't go down so easily.

I stopped eating it and instead took the time to ask Edward some more questions. How often he had to hunt, what it was like never sleeping, clarifying the old legends etc etc.

At one point, Jasper came through with Alice by his side. "Hey, Beau." Jasper saw my full bowl and started laughing. "Edward, Beau has barely touched his food."

Edward frowned. "Oh. Are you done already? I thought you ate more than that."

Alice chuckled. "Humans do. You're just a bad cook and he's being nice."

I glared at Alice. "Not true."

Jasper shrugged. "We're about to start."

I got up to follow Jasper out but Edward didn't move.

"Was it really that bad?" Edward's face was slightly pouting.

I shook my head. "No. It was good. I promise. It's just. . . I'm kind of nervous. The butterflies in my stomach are taking up a lot of room." Truthfully, it was the hamburger I had just eaten taking up the room.

"Oh." Edward stood up. "So I did okay?"

I nodded. "It's delicious. I'm sorry. I wish I could eat more. It's so good, but. . . I'm nervous."

"You have nothing to be nervous about."

"It's kind of like our first real date though." I shrugged. "I don't know. And meeting all your family. It's a big deal. I'm nervous. Sorry."

"You don't have to be sorry." Edward grabbed my hand.

He led me out to the living room where I thought was our destination. "Oh, are we not watching it in here?" I asked when I saw it was empty and Edward kept walking down the hallway on the other side.

"Nope. We're going to the movie room."

He opened a door that I thought lead outside. It kind of did. It lead to a large covered outdoor patio. You could hear the crickets outside the screen walls. There was a large extra wide sectional couch and two love seats on either side. Esme and Carlisle sat together cuddled up on one of the sofas. Jasper was sitting on the sectional. Alice in the middle. She patted the spot next to her right.

There was a projector broadcasting the opening credits onto the side of the house.

Rose and Emmett were in the closest recliner. I plopped down beside Alice on the part that jutted out so that I could lay down, Edward curled up beside me.

"Blanket?" He offered. I was very aware that we were being watched. I ducked down lower in the chair and threw the blanket over my face. I could feel myself going red. A normal person might not be able to see it in the darkness, but I was surrounded by 7 vampires. I was so close to Edward. In the dark. With his family sitting around us. Yikes.

Edward flipped the blanket off my head. I didn't expect his face to be so close to mine. His honey eyes were questioning. I gave a half hearted smile. He grabbed my hand and laid next to me, on top of the blanket. Like the blanket was guarding him from me. But I realized, he probably did that so I wouldn't get cold. Already, I could feel my hand going numb from his chilly hand. I didn't mind.

The movie started playing but to be honest, I didn't pay much attention. I was too focused on massaging my thumb on Edward's hand and trying not to think about his family being there. Or Maybe I should be thinking that. I don't know. I definitely wasn't thinkg about the dream I had last night. Nope. Not thinking about it. Nope nope nope.

Edward had said it felt nice to be holding my hand. I wanted to please him. My thumb traced along the edges of his palm back and forth, swooping through, and weaving between the base of his fingers. I flipped his hand over and started drawing circle on the back of his hand. Edward's hand didn't feel hard. It was smooth and almost soft, but I knew they were tough enough to stop a car and not break. Incredible. I could do this for hours.

I had seen Die Hard before, so it's not like I was missing anything. My hand holding with Edward took precedence.

Alice was right though. I wasn't gonna make it through the second movie. I felt my eyes droop. I fought it for as long as I could but gave up.

I curled over onto Edward. He was laying with his left arm over and cupping the back of his head. I nestled my face on his chest, my knee on his upper thigh, my left scooped under my cheek like a pillow, with my arm bent over his stomach. I heard him hum contentedly. This felt right. I wasn't self conscious anymore; I didn't care if I was in a room of vampires. My love of Edward made me brave. I wasn't ashamed of it. This right here, nestled into Edward, was the best place in the world. I felt completely safe here. I felt home. I sighed into Edward's chest and let sleep take over me.

I remember being carried gently to a car. Someone strapped me in. I was awake enough to lean back in the passenger seat, so I could more comfortably fall asleep again. What felt like two seconds later, I heard the familiar sound of tires on my drive way. I blinked awake. Edward opened my door. "You're home." He whispered, helping me get up.

I don't remember entering the house. I don't remember going up the stairs. I do remember, falling into my bed; A cold kiss on my forehead; a velvet voice asking me to be safe.

I had pleasant dreams that night.

* * *

 **AN: Cute, right? Right? (I hope you think its as sweet as I do).**

 **So, because I posted off schedule, don't expect a chapter tomorrow. My pool of chapters on hand are dwindling.**

 **Thanks for reading!**


	14. Chapter 14: Saw it Coming

Chapter 14: Saw it Coming

Beau's POV

* * *

Edward wasn't at school the next morning.

I had told Charlie that I was going shopping with Alice after school today.

"Is Edward going?" Charlie asked.

"No, dad." I rolled my eyes. "Just Alice and I. Edward's actually going backpacking this weekend."

"Oh, I thought maybe he could come over Saturday." Charlie stated.

"Well, maybe Sunday? Again, Dad, I'm not sure when he gets back." I bit my lip.

He grunted again and that was that conversation. Charlie didn't hover.

At school I wasn't sure where I belonged anymore. I didn't feel welcomed back to the lunch table. It's as if once I had broken off to be with Edward, I couldn't return. I crossed an invisible line. Mikayla invited me, but I was getting some "fuck off" vibes from the others.

Should I eat alone? If I ate at a table by myself. . . then did that make me a loser? High school politics reigned again. I thought I had risen above all that. I guess not.

Could I sit with the Cullens? No. Not without Edward. I could see Alice and I sitting together. But I think I was just as much barred from sitting with the vampires as I was with the humans. There was a change that took place a few days ago. I was allowed as an onlooker to another side of the world, but I didn't belong there. And because of that, I didn't feel like I belonged in regular society. I never felt like I really belonged there to begin with, but especially now. I knew too much. Having a normal life didn't seem possible anymore. I didn't want one. But, now I was caught between the two, between normal and the supernatural. I felt lost without Edward.

I decided to just sit in my car: the safest option.

It was a miserable day at school. I held on to the fact that I would have the afternoon with Alice and get some well needed shopping done. Furthermore, I would have all day with Edward tomorrow. It couldn't come soon enough.

I was still getting ready at home when Alice appeared suddenly in my bathroom mirror.

"What the hell." I screeched. "Do you guys ever knock?" I clutched my heart, which was beating too fast.

Alice shrugged. "I knocked yesterday."

"It's not a one and done thing. You nearly gave me a heart attack."

She laughed. "I thought _I_ was the dramatic one."

"You're the one that snuck into my house and appeared out of nowhere while I was in the bathroom. Now that, sister, is dramatic. Pretty sure I saw that movie once. Spoiler alert, my character died."

Alice grimaced. "Whatever, just don't tell Edward, okay? He told me to be on my best behavior."

"Why would he have to do that?" I asked, putting on a fresh coat of deodorant. "Is this about the disagreement you two were having the other day?"

Alice sighed, "You noticed? Edward was right, you are perceptive."

"Well?" I questioned.

She looked down. I could tell she was conflicted. "We better go, Beau, so we have time before the stores close."

I let it slide for now, but I wasn't giving up. She was gonna tell me what Edward was hiding and she was gonna tell me today.

We drove Edward's car to Port Angeles. I kept remembering the last time I was there in this car. The circumstances surrounding it, the conversations as the aftermath. I was about to die that night. Edward saved me. Again. It still smelled a little like Edward in the car, which made me smile.

Alice was cranking up some top 40's station and singing along to every word. It was contagious. I laughed and joined in. I rolled down the window and loudly (and badly) sang along to a new Taylor Swift song.

Suddenly, Alice hit the brakes and we skidded to a stop. I was pushed into my seat belt that kept me from crashing into the dash board. Her hands were on the steering wheel, tight. Without breathing she rolled up my passenger window. "Sorry, Beau. Maybe don't do that?"

"What just happened?" I said, all color from my face gone. "What did I do?"

"The air. It was assaulting me with your scent. You do smell good." Her nose wrinkled up like she was smelling something bad though.

 _If I had a dollar. . ._

"I'm sorry. I didn't know." I stuttered. I felt awful and not just because the seat belt hit my gut in a weird way. I didn't want to make being with me difficult for them. If I could make it easier. . . they wouldn't leave.

"It's okay, Beau. I should have seen it coming." She chastised herself. "Your kind are always harder for me to read."

"What do you mean?"

"Humans change their mind so often, or don't mind anything, so it's harder to get an accurate vision of their future. Vampires on the other hand are very methodical creatures. Their decisions are normally set in stone."

"That makes sense." I nodded. "Have you had any visions of me?"

That was the wrong question. I could see it in her eyes. "Well," She began as she started to speed off back down the road. "Yes." She finally answered after what looked like a deliberate step.

"Really?" I was blown away. "What did you see about me?"

She bit her lip, like she had in the bathroom. I was onto something. Alice had a vision of me. Edward didn't want to tell me about it.

"The future is subjective." She muttered.

"Tell me." I demanded. Come on. If she saw a vision about me, I should know, right? I have a right to know. I'm not sure how that worked, but it sounded solid in my head.

"Okay." Alice aquesised. "I saw us, actually." She smiled shyly. "We're friends. Good friends. Or at least I saw that we would be." She was looking out the window, but her eyes were out of focus.

"Oh, really?" I thought about it for a second. Alice as my best friend? "That's incredible. When did you see that?"

"The night you almost got crushed by Taylor's van."

"What?" I was blown away. "That long ago? You saw us that long ago. Why didn't you say something sooner?"

Alice's laugh was light and mirthful. "Think about it, Beau. I can't exactly come up to you and say 'Hey, I know you don't know me, but one day we're gonna be best friends. I know this because I see visions of the future.'"

"Good point. But still, you could have tried to reach out to me or something." I shrugged.

"Edward." She stated as if that answered my question.

"Edward what?"

"Edward didn't want anyone to have contact with you." She bit her lip. She knew she said too much. "At the time." She added hastily.

I stared at my hands in my lap. "Why would he do that?" I remember now how I was treated the day after the Taylor accident. Like I didn't exist. For weeks he didn't acknowledge me. I knew there was more to the story than Alice was saying. "Why would he do that?" I repeated. "What's the harm in us being friends." Something clicked. "Is there more?" I knew the answer.

"Beau. I can't answer that. I'm sorry." Her eyes darted to my face and away quickly.

We arrived to the store shortly after that. I figured it wouldn't do any good to pout. That would make this experience horrible and drag on and I would be less likely to get what I wanted out of Alice.

So I sucked it up and ducked into the boutique Alice had taken me too. The store had one of those names that only had one syllable, signifying it was edgy and vogue. Any tension I felt melted away when I saw the structured jackets hanging off an artsy mannequin. I'm not proud that this is my weakness, but I acknowledge that it is. That counts for something, right?

"Oh. Yes." I gasped. "Yes, yes, yes." I nearly groped the mannequin.

Alice giggled and signaled over an attendant to pull my sizes.

"Alice." I said from the dressing room, putting on some pants Alice had grabbed for me.

"Hmm?"

"You know I can't afford any of this, right?" My head peeked out from the top of the door. Alice was sitting on a blue velvet couch in front of the double mirror. I spied the price tag on the jacket. I'm pretty sure that was more than my dad's monthly mortgage.

A saleswoman walked past and glared at me. "I'll be out front if you need me." Her tone was sharp. Rude, but I understood. I was wasting their time. I was wasting my time.

"I can't though." I emphasized for Alice.

Alice rolled her eyes. "But I can, dumb dumb." She twirled a thick credit card between her knuckles.

I opened my mouth to interject.

"Ah, ah, ah." Alice tisked. "No arguing."

"But Alice," My eyes bulged. This was way too much. I hated other people paying for me. "I can't let you do that."

"You can," Alice's face grew a deadly smile. "And you will."

"But Alice!"

"No, Beau. I'm doing this for me. Think of it that way. This is a gift for myself. I can't have my best friend walking around in rags."

"Hey." I retorted. "Low blow. But I'm serious. This is way too much. Besides, won't Carlisle be mad?"

Alice raised her eyebrow. "What does Carlisle have to do with this?"

"I mean, I know he gets paid pretty well because he's a doctor but I can't use his money. Especially so much of it. . "

"Woah, woah, woah." Alice waved her hand for me to stop. "Carlisle's money?" She stuck a finger in her mouth and made a fake gagging sound. "You think Carlisle is in charge of the finances?" She laughed maniacally. She inched forward to my dressing stall and whispered over the edge of the door into my ear, "Honey, I basically run the stock markets. What Carlisle and Esme make in a year is a joke to what I can make in a day." She held her credit card up in front of my eyes. Her name was stamped into the metal card in gold lettering "Alice Hale."

"Hale? I thought you were a Cullen."

Alice rolled her eyes. "Hale is my married name, nosy. Stop trying to change the subject. You're getting everything tonight that looks good. And everything looks good on you. You're very lucky. Guys are usually so hard to shop for. How are the pants?" She peered over the door and glanced down.

"Hey!" I shouted, pretending I was shocked. I covered my pants front with my hands. "Eyes off the goods."

Alice and I laughed.

After a moment we sobered up.

"Hey, Alice." I started. I sounded like a child about to ask his parents if Santa Claus was real or not. "You said you were married?"

"Yes." Alice eyed me warily.

"Is that, is that like. . . .Are you able . . . I still don't know a lot about vampires. So many things are different. . . I just. . . . do you. . .?" My ears were turning red.

Alice giggled. "You're trying to ask if Jasper and I have sex?"

I raised my shoulders and nodded. "You don't have to answer. I was just curious."

"The bed we have isn't for sleeping or for decoration." Alice giggled. "Vampires have sex. We're pretty great at it actually. Endless amounts of energy."

"OK." I interjected, not wanting to really hear anymore. "That's all. Thanks."

"Are you worried about your intimacy with Edward?" She asked bluntly.

What did I just step in? "I'm really uncomfortable with this conversation. You're his sister. . . . eh, this is weird. I'm sorry I brought it up. Forget about it."

Alice nodded keeping her mouth shut. I opened the door and came out to the mirrors to see how the pants fit in silence.

Alice stood behind me. "See. Told you they look good."

I whipped around and the words flew out before I could stop them. "It's just that I'm not sure what I'm allowed to do, you know? Like, can we even kiss? Is that gonna kill me? The only time he's ever held me is when a car was about to collide into me, or when I was passed out. Take the other night, for Die Hard. I didn't even think about it, but maybe I went too far snuggling up on him. I just don't know what's allowed. It's driving me crazy. Because I want to be close to him. I want all the normal things, but Edward isn't normal. I love that about him, but I don't know where that puts me. I don't know if he wants me like I want him. I mean, look at me? I'm just a stringy teenage boy. What could he possibly want from me? Not that he's even able to act on anything. Tomorrow we're gonna be alone all day and I know it's a sort of test. I know being with me is difficult. I know the risks. What do I do? I can't promise that I'll be able to sit on my hands for our entire relationship. What if I can't ever kiss him? God, I want to kiss him. I want to wrap my arms around him and. . . " I lost my breath. I inhaled and exhaled. "Sorry. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to go off. I just. Apparently had a lot on my chest. Sorry. Forget about it." I collapsed into the velvet couch, my hands covered my face.

Alice picked my hands off, grabbed my shoulders and looked me in the eye. "You two are gonna make this work. Edward moves slow. He's cautious, for a good reason, but he's doubting himself. He's stronger than he thinks he is. He might need a little push."

She whispered a little possible future into my ear. Her voice was low and unhurried. She made sure I heard every word. My ears burned and I could feel my blush radiating heat off my skin. _Oh, damn._

"Got it?" She asked, her eyes still fierce but her lips twisted up into a mischievous grin.

I nodded, wordlessly. I felt numb.

"Good." She stood up to her full height again, which wasn't that high. "Let's get out of here."

I felt like we had entered a new stage in our relationship. We could tell each other anything. Alice had me, someone who can keep secrets from prying minds. I had Alice, someone who knew lots of secrets.

"Alice," I started once we had settled back in the car. "What's the deal between you and Edward? What is Edward trying to hide from me?"

Alice took a deep breath.

I rephrased my question. "What other visions did you see that night?"

A moment passed. Several emotions flashed across her face. "I saw you two." She stated like she had her mind made up. "I saw Edward with you. Two different visions, two different paths. Whichever one would come to be, they were unavoidable at the time. Edward is trying to forge a new path."

"I don't understand. Edward doesn't want these visions to become reality?"

"No."

"But you do."

"One of them. I want one of them."

I chewed this over. Alice let me think in silence. Finally, I came to terms with a possibility Edward kept warning me of. "I'm dead in the other one, aren't I?"

Alice nodded. "Yes."

I breathed for a moment. I knew the risks. Edward had told me repeatedly how dangerous he was. I never absorbed that possibility like I did now. A sliver of fear crept down my spine. This was real. The danger was real. I could die. I could die tomorrow.

What would I miss most? If I did die, what would be the worst thing? My mind wanted me to answer that questions with things like "my family  
or "community." My heart kept a constant stream of "Edward. I would miss Edward." He would undoubtedly by my killer but I couldn't even fathom being angry at him.

"You're still going tomorrow." Alice said from a far away place. This wasn't a question.

I didn't have to think very hard to answer her question. I nodded solemnly.

"May I ask why?"

I closed my eyes. I realized something so true and so powerful in that moment. "Because I'd rather die in his arms, than live without him."

Alice touched my cheek. Her cold hand felt good against my hot skin.

"I'm betting on the other vision." She breathed.

I had almost forgotten about the second one.

"What's the other path?" I asked. Alice peered down at the floor, an obvious gesture of not answering the question. I knew she wouldn't. This was the vision that Edward forbid her tell above all else. What else could it be? I did some calculating in my head. One vision foretold death. The other. . . a life. A life with Edward. I gasped. "Alice. What's the other vision?" I had a hunch but I couldn't say it out loud. I wasn't sure how any of this worked. Was I a vampire? I couldn't even begin to think of the implications.

"I can't tell you, Beau." Alice said through locked teeth. "That's something you and Edward have to discuss." The words she had to say seemed to pain her.

I exhaled. "Thank you, Alice." I patted her hand. I knew this was hard on her. She's caught between a promise to Edward and a trust in me. "I won't tell Edward any of this." We stared at each other. A confidence growing between us. Partners in crime. "Now," My voice playful. "How do you feel about some Britney?" I turned the radio on and up.

We sang the rest of the way to my house.

Alice came in briefly and met Charlie. She helped bring in my shopping haul. I ended up walking out with about 8 new outfits, three scarves, two shoes, and cuff links because why the hell not. I would probably have to work in indentured servitude for the rest of my life to pay Alice back.

"Wow, that's a lot of bags there, son." Charlie commented. "Oh, hello, there." He almost gasped when he finally noticed Alice step in through the hallway.

"Hello, Mr. Swan." She greeted and extended her hand. "I'm Alice Cullen."

"Yes, Beau said you would be together today. How was your time?"

"Fabulous." Alice smirked. "Do you have any big plans for the weekend, Mr. Swan?"

"Call me Charlie, and no. Just going fishing bright and early."

"The trout is supposed to be plentiful this year." Alice winked at me.

"That's what they keep saying." Charlie laughed. His cheeks stained red the longer he looked at her. He offered her to come inside and have dinner or coffee. Straight dudes, even my Dad, am I right?

"Thank you, but I should get going. Shopping really wears me out." She gave me a hug.

I eyed her suspiciously when I hugged her back.

"If you're so tired, you should really get some use out of your bed tonight." I said into her hair. Then in a low whisper. "Someone around here has to get some action." She pulled her left arm away but kept the other slung around me in a tight side hug. Laughing, Alice hit my chest (a little too hard). _O_ _uch._ It was nice to have banter with her.

"Well," I chuckled. "Come on, you had to see that coming."

Alice beamed up at me and kissed my cheek. I didn't know it at the time, but I had completed the vision of us, wrapped in an embrace and laughing. That's what she saw: us in that moment. Alice _had_ seen it coming.

* * *

 **AN: Thanks for reading!**

 **I always wish I had more quality Alice time. This was my selfish chapter.**

 **I've written as Beau for awhile so the next couple of chapters will be from Edward's POV. Fair warning, he has a lot to process and lots of ground to cover. The next chapter will come in two parts (maybe 3?)**

 **\- Rosalie**


	15. Chapter 15: Into the Woods (Part 1)

Chapter 15: Into the Woods

Part 1

Edward's POV

* * *

I checked in on Beau the minute I got back to Forks.

I barely spoke to Carlisle and Esme while we were hunting. We ran just outside the south bank of the peninsula. Bear season was just beginning. They kept their thoughts to themselves, but every now and then they slipped. A stray glance my way and I would glimpse into the concern they carried for me. Worse, the concern they had for Beau. I was starting to hate myself. Why couldn't I just stay away? My very existence put Beau at risk. I was being unbelievably selfish. I thought, perhaps, if my family endeared themselves to Beau I wouldn't feel the immense burden myself. If my family loved Beau maybe I wouldn't be the only one at fault for wanting to keep him close to me. I wouldn't be alone in my selfishness if they got to know him. It just made it worse. Instead, it added more weight to my shoulders. Now, if I hurt Beau, I hurt my family too in more ways than one. They all liked Beau. Not for me did they like him, but because they saw him as I did: A wonderful and kind and interesting person. Even Emmett warmed up to him. Rosalie doesn't like anybody except for Emmett and even she had nothing negative to think about him. It wasn't just myself that would condemn me for hurting Beau. My family would never forgive me. I wouldn't want them too.

I just could not bring myself to pretend I wasn't a nervous wreck. Every spare thought was dedicated to Beau. I had to focus. I had to be prepared. Tomorrow would determine the rest of my life, perhaps the rest of Beau's life. Fate had pushed us together, but I might tear us apart forever. I couldn't let that happen. I would be strong. I would keep Beau alive and I would keep Beau by my side. I had little choice now. I wasn't strong enough to leave him, but I might be strong enough to not hurt him. I had to be.

When I climbed through the window, Beau was strung out over the bed, completely knocked out. The relief in my chest from seeing him exploded and I exhaled deeply. It was like I had been holding my breath. I felt better, though I hadn't realized how ill I felt beforehand. It was like a piece of me was missing. Beau made me whole. There was little doubt now. I could face tomorrow morning. I would do anything for Beau. Beau made everything possible.

I waited for him start rambling in his sleep. He usually was quite the talker at this point in the night. However, Beau was completely still. Only his chest moved rhythmically up and down with his quiet breathing. Beau's lips were slightly parted, allowing a small amount of drool to pool on the pillow beneath him. I spied a bottle of cold medicine on his night stand. A small dribble of the syrup was oozing out the side.

He couldn't sleep last night and resorted to medicine. Was he as nervous as I was? Of course. He's not a fool.

I sat in the rocking chair in the corner and memorized his features. Inhaling deeply, I let myself get as tolerant to his scent as possible again.

Beau's shirt was twisted up, tight on his back. My eyes roamed over his shoulders. I loved his shoulders; how they shrugged if he couldn't finish a sentence or how he slumped when he didn't like something. They were so expressive. He could probably have a full conversation using only his shoulders. I imagined pressing my lips on his skin there, brushing them over his muscles, trailing down to his clavicle. I wanted things I never thought I could have. I may never have still. I couldn't get too close. Beau was too warm. If I was under different circumstances I might allow myself to go down the rabbit hole of wild fantasies, but I was in no condition to do so now. I had to control myself.

I spied the many bags of clothes in the corner. Looks like he and Alice had a productive afternoon.

 _Alice_.

I grimaced thinking about the time Alice and Beau had alone. I agreed to it only because I knew he would be safe with her. She could protect him from all the dangers that seemed to be after Beau constantly. If there was any danger it would find its way to Beau. I trusted Alice with his life. She loved Beau and wouldn't let him come to any harm. However, she had her own beliefs on what was best for him. I hoped she didn't sink her teeth into him, as the saying goes.

I wanted to interview her. Did she keep her visions to herself like she promised?

I took one last glance at Beau.

"I'll be back soon." I whispered to my sleeping love, touching his lower leg with my fingers. He didn't respond. Out cold.

I didn't even make it close to the house. I was searching for Alice's mind, tuning to it. When I found the right frequency, so to speak, I was nearly blasted with thoughts of her current love making. A naked Jasper was folded over her, scars bared proudly on his chest. He was in between her legs and thrusting his hips into her vigorously. With pleasure, Alice thought about his hard cock inside of her. I quickly edged back from her thoughts and rolled my eyes. I guess I wouldn't be speaking with her after all. By the tenor of her thoughts, this would take awhile.

Instead, I went inside and started playing the piano very loudly. A shallow attempt of protest.

I thought briefly how easy it was for them. They didn't have to worry about killing the other. They didn't have to hold back any desire. I acknowledged that if my plan worked, I could never have such a carefree sex life. If I could have one at all. I accepted it. Could Beau? Sex was a stronger more urgent desire for humans, wasn't it? Did I desire it as much as a human?

 _Our bodies entwined. . . my hands in his hair. . . his head lowering down past my navel. . ._

Focus.

Yes. I wanted sex. But I _needed_ Beau alive. The two didn't mix in my world.

Sex: another desire Beau caused that I would have to suffer through my abstinence of.

Alice and Jasper were still at it when the sun came up.

I sighed and ran up to my room. I needed to wash up and get presentable. An outfit had been laid out on my couch. A pair of khaki's, a tan sweater and a white t-shirt. A folded card was placed on top in Alice's hand writing. It read as follows:

Dear Edward,

Thank you for Beau. Thank you for falling in love with my best friend. We talked about you. He has complete faith in you and so do I. Trust him.

I love you.

Alice

I read over the letter several hundred times. When I finally internalized the feelings coursing through me, I closed my eyes and prayed to God (who, if existed, I never thought would listen to me of all damned creatures) but I tried nonetheless. I prayed that I could overcome my bloodthirst. I prayed that Alice and Beau were right.

It was almost 6:45am and I was about to head out and grab another cup of tea for Beau. Rosalie peeked her golden head out from the garage. - _Good luck, idiot.-_

That was one the kindest things she ever thought for me.

Just like the first time I appeared on his door step, Beau was breathless, eager, and clumsy. Flustered, he ran his finger through his hair. "Hey." He breathed.

"Good morning." I responded while holding out the cup in my hand. "I brought your tea."

"Thank you. You don't have to do that you know."

"I know."

I looked him over and laughed.

Beau blushed and seemed self conscious as he tried to find what was so funny. "Did I forget pants or something?"

"We match." Beau was also wearing khakis, paired with a white shirt and a caramel colored sweater.

"Oh. I'll change." Beau's face fell into a grimace. He actually looked kind of angry.

"No, it's okay. Beau, you look great."

Beau rolled his eyes and grumbled, "Next to what? Maybe standing next to a rock, but not standing next to you."

I bit back a grin. I was kind of rock in a way. One of the things I would have to explain today.

"Beau, you really don't have to change."

His furrowed eyebrows told me that he did and he wouldn't change his mind. He stomped back inside and I let him. Perhaps he would stay there. Perhaps he wouldn't come today. Perhaps Beau would finally run.

He reappeared a moment later, sans caramel sweater and khakis. He kept the white shirt but now it was underneath a dark blue light jacket. He changed into some very handsome fitted hunter green jeans.

"Well," He said as he grabbed the tea from my hands. "Let's go, I guess." He shrugged his shoulders, in a detaching sort of movement and swung himself into the passenger seat of my car.

I was sure the attitude was coming from a place deeper than the clothes. Was he mad that I was putting him in this position? Did I have to do it this way? Test myself out in the middle of nowhere with no one to protect Beau from myself?

I would be mad too if I found myself on his side of things. I couldn't blame him for being upset with me.

"Where are we going?" Beau asked as he watched the trees fly by. His arms were crossed in front of his body.

"The trailhead off the highway." I responded distantly.

"We're hiking?" He asked incredulously while he whipped his head in my direction.

"That won't be a problem will it?"

"In case you haven't noticed, my coordination is on par with the used car lot air dummies." The words had a sharp edge, but the mental image it produced was comical. "These are new pants too." Beau sighed into his hand. "Alice will be so distraught when I come back and they're ruined."

 _If you come back at all._

"You don't have to go." I offered him an escape. He seemed to be in just the right mood; he might actually take it.

"Of course I'm going, Edward." He rolled his eyes. "You're not shaking me off that easily."

"I understand the predicament I'm putting you in. I would be mad too. You can always leave."

"What?" Beau turned to me, bewilderment in his eyes. "You think I'm mad because. . . "

"Because coming out of the forest is not a guarantee." I finished his sentence.

He chuckled under his breath. "That's not why I'm mad." He shook his head a small grin on his lips. "And I've accepting the risks. I know what I'm getting myself into. Alice. . ." He trailed off then bit his lip and looked out his window sharply.

"Alice what? Wait, then why are you upset?" I could never predict him. I thought I was getting better at it, but he kept surprising me.

His blue eyes sought mine, and they were deep pools of sorrow. They were radiating a deep emotion. My chest tightened. No angel should look so sad.

I reached my right hand to touch his cheek. He closed his eyes briefly at the contact.

"I'll bring you home, Beau. I swear."

Beau only nodded slowly. "I trust you."

We pulled up to the curb.

Beau scoffed again when I said we were taking an alternative path and not following the laid out trail.

He was stubborn for all the wrong things.

"Beau, I won't let you get hurt. I won't let you fall."

"Ugh." He threw his hand up in the air. "Why?" Beau cried out. "Why do you do that? Why do you always have to be my saviour. You're already inhumanely perfect. It's not fair." He scowled.

"I don't understand. What did I do wrong?"

Beau laughed in his own frustration. "Goddamnit, Edward. You've done nothing wrong! You've done absolutely nothing wrong. I can't find a single flaw on you. Do you know how annoying that is?" He groaned and started walking in the wrong direction.

"I have some pretty major character flaws, Beau." My voice was quiet and high.

"Oh yeah?" Beau grumbled, not turning to look at me. "Like what, you spend all your money on charity or something?"

"No. Beau, I'm an actual blood sucking vampire. I used to be a murderer, Beau. Part of me wants to kill you right now, but I fight it off."

He rolled his eyes. "Oh my god. I get it. Yesh. But that's exactly what makes you better."

"Better?" I scoffed. "You think I'm better than you?"

"You're better at everything than me!" He was nearly yelling. "You look better than me. You're smarter than me. You're stronger and tougher than me. Edward, you ran across a parking lot and no one saw you. You even drive better than me. Name one thing I'm better at. Name just one! Just one!" He exaggerated a big shrug and threw his hands up in the air. "I can't. I'm completely inferior. I'm not good enough for you. I don't like feeling helpless, but I'm utterly useless next to you. You're a god and I'm just-"

I ran to his side and gently put a finger in front of his lips, resisting the sudden urge to angle my head up and kiss him. I was a sucker for Beau when he was frustrated.

"Beau," I interrupted quietly. "I envy _everything_ about you."

I removed my finger from his lips and brushed a lock of hair behind his ear. His blush rising beneath my hand.

"That's absurd." Beau retorted.

"It's true." I countered back. "You don't see yourself clearly."

"Right, because you can see better than me too." He muttered under his breath. That made me laugh.

He sighed and ruffled his hair with both hands. "Is it. . . " He started weakly. "Are you only jealous of my humanity?" His eyebrows puckered again.

I didn't exactly know how to answer that question. Yes. I was jealous of his humanity. That was true. To be fair, I thought meekly to myself, he's list were all benefits of the curse of vampirism.

"To an extent." I replied.

He nodded, and turned his body away again.

"But that's not all." I continued. "You're funnier than I am. I wish I could joke like you do. Not many people can make me laugh." He angled himself in my direction. "You're braver than I am." I saw him begin to protest. "Sure I've put myself between you and danger. But those were never dangerous situations for me. I never did anything that was a threat against my own self. Never did anything that required bravery. You, however, continue to put yourself in harm's way. Day after day, you stand up to danger. Defy it. You're immensely brave. I hope you never doubt that about yourself. Also, You never try to hide how you feel. You say what you want. You are incredibly bold. I envy that too."

His lips twisted and I could start to see his mood melt slowly before me.

"You're eyes I envy most of all." I whispered. "You have the most gorgeous eyes I've ever seen." He looked away then, turning red. I placed my hand on his chin so that he would have to face me, so that I could look at his blue eyes.

We gazed at each other like this for a long time. I didn't blink. I didn't want to waste a millisecond. Beau's eyes were a window into his soul. Proof that he still had one. I would protect that at all costs.

After a long moment, Beau sighed. "Shall we get hiking?"

I nodded and led him into the forest.

Beau got excited when he could see the light of the meadow. It took us roughly two and a half hours to get there. He really was pretty terrible at staying on his feet. I didn't mind. It gave me an excuse to stay too close to him. I gripped him steady whenever he was about to fall. Picked him up when there was an obstacle. He was embarrassed each time of course. His heart rate speeding with each contact. I secretly enjoyed it, but I pretended not to notice.

Beau stumbled forward into the sunlight. The flowers had just bloomed. Blue and purple bulbs dotted the meadow's grassy floor. Beau practically giggled as he walked further in, his hands dragging on the flowers. He stopped and looked beside him. "Edward?" He called. He didn't notice I was hanging back; Didn't realize that I was waiting in the shadows. "Oh." His blue eyes found me hiding.

He extended an open hand in my direction. An invitation. Beau smiled eagerly, but with patience.

"Hold on." I answered his unspoken question.

I took a deep breath and stepped forward a little. Beau was brave in his vulnerability. He made it seem easy. Every survival instinct told me to stick to the shadows, to not reveal myself in this way. I was the one afraid now. I kept marching forward. Beau's eyes drawing me in. Be brave like Beau, I chanted to myself.

* * *

 **AN: Thanks for reading, guys!**

 **Tell me what you think so far. I love getting your reactions. :)**

 **\- Rosalie**

 **p.s. Shout out to CentuaRita for blowing up my notifications the other day. A+**


	16. Chapter 16: Into the Woods (part 2)

Chapter 16: Into the Woods

Part 2

Edward's POV

* * *

I felt the warm light hitting the left side of my face. I watched carefully for his reaction.

His jaw dropped into a deep gasp. His eyes opened in. . . wonder?

I didn't want my reaction to his reaction confuse his thought process. I closed my eyes and sat down. Beau needed to be able to explore my skin on his own time.

I dared not look again anyway. I was already embarrassed. I knew sparkling in the sunlight would be too unnatural. I could barely look at myself this way. It was a strong reminder that I wasn't human. That once again, Beau and I were not realistically compatible.

I wanted to be normal. I didn't want to read minds, or never sleep. I didn't want to run fast or pick up cars with my bare hands. I didn't care about any of that. I wanted to have a nice picnic with my boyfriend and not worry about eating him. I wanted to go to the beach and get sunburned while Beau tried to push me in the water. I wanted to fall asleep in his arms while we counted stars. I wanted to touch Beau without making him shiver; kiss Beau without wanting to bite him; love Beau without putting him in danger.

"Did you say something?" Beau asked. I blinked my eyes open. He was sitting cross legged in front of me.

"I was singing to myself. The pitch was too low for you to register." I informed him.

"Oh." He moved closer just an inch.

I was burning inside with the question that was always on my mind. "What are you thinking?"

"Does it hurt?" He asked. Of course he would ask a question to mine. He never made things easy on me, did he?

"No."

"Can I get closer?" He asked for permission. This felt so foreign to me. A human, seeing the full effect of a vampire, and still wanting to get nearer.

"I don't scare you?" I asked playfully, but I was genuinely nervous about the answer.

Beau grinned. "No more than usual."

I smiled widely, perhaps showing a bit more teeth than usual. He was being so coy and curious. I pulled my sweater off over my head so there was more of my skin he could look at. I laid down on my back with my hands under my head.

Beau crawled closer, like a child heading towards a forbidden thing.

He stopped again just a few inches away. He picked up my sweater that I had put aside and brought it up to his nose. He inhaled, smelling me on the sweater. "You smell good." He said after a moment.

"So do you." I responded lightheartedly.

"Har har." He rolled his eyes.

He was staring at my arm closest to him. "May I?" Beau asked as he was already reaching for it with trembling fingers. Why was he shaking? Was he nervous? "Do you mind?" He asked again, wanting my permission.

"No." I offered him my hand and he took it in both of his. "You have no idea how incredible that feels."

He held my hand close to his face. The sunlight that bounced off my skin sparkled on his cheek. I liked that. With one hand he traced along a vein down my arm. I felt electric. He turned my hand over while he inspected it. "Amazing." He muttered under his breath. He was checking out all the different facets in my skin. How the sun made a glittering pattern around them.

"You really don't mind?" I questioned further.

"Edward. Stop trying to sabotage yourself."

"I'm not. It's just that I don't understand how you can be so calm. I'm not human. I'm completely otherworldly."

"I know. I don't care. I like that." Beau responded thoughtfully. In a second I was sitting up, my face only inches from his.

"You like that?" I asked incredulously. To my horror I saw his movement like it was in slow motion. To my mind it was. He leaned in, nose first towards me as he inhaled. His throat twisted in my direction. It was exposed like a carrot dangling in front of a horse. I reacted instantly. I threw myself to the other side of the meadow. I went back into the shadows were I could feel less vulnerable. Control. I had to maintain control.

"Edward, I'm sorry." Beau whispered quietly after a moment when his eyes refocused.

"Give me a moment." My mind was chaos and I was tying to wrangle myself down. Not Beau. I kept repeating. I was fine. It was just a surprise. I didn't expect him to come so close.

I walked back slowly. Painfully slow. And sat back down next to him.

"You still like that I'm completely other?" I asked, my tone mocking.

He nodded.

I felt an unchecked anger rising. He was not having the proper responses. Or maybe he was. Maybe he was just infatuated with the parts of me that were designed for prey like him.

"You think I'm beautiful, but that's just a trap. Everything about me draws you in. My voice. My looks. Even my smell. As if I needed any of that." I sat up, pulling my arm away from Beau, a little too roughly.

"As if you could outrun me." I laughed spitefully. I sprinted around the meadow twice within seconds. I held my right hand out to catch on all the leaves I passed so that Beau could follow my course with his slow human eyes.

"As if you could fight me off." I found a small boulder in the corner of the field. I tossed it in the air and wrenched it in half as it fell downward. I crushed both halves of the spheres between my palms and let the rubble slip through my hands.

"As if you could ever escape." I jumped into the air, practically flying through the meadow to the other side. I jumped straight up into the tree next to me and ripped the the tallest branch off. I laid it down in front of Beau as proof. He stared at me wide eyed. His big blue pure eyes. Those eyes . . .

Oh god. What have I done?

I fell to my knees. "Beau." Horror coloring my voice as I hung my head in shame.

I heard Beau exhale. I looked up getting ready to make my apology but he was rolling his eyes.

"Are you done with your temper tantrum yet?" He had one eyebrow raised.

"Beau, I'm so sorry. That was unforgivable of me. I . . . I don't know what overcame me. I'm in control now, I promise. Don't be afraid." I raised my hands in surrender.

Beau just shrugged. "S'okay. You just gotta get a grip." His tone was casual. "That wasn't like you at all." He leaned back on his hands.

He wasn't even shocked? I just displayed a wide range of ways in which I could trap and kill someone (him) and he shrugs it off.

He looked at me seriously, guessing my confusion. "I saw you pick up a flattened bullet that hit you in the stomach. It didn't leave a mark. Nothing you do is really gonna shock me that much, you know?"

"Still, Beau." I couldn't get over how nonchalant he was being. "I'm sorry for my behavior. That was . . ."

"A power trip?" Beau offered. "I get it." He smiled and said in a heavy Jersey/Italian accent, "If you want me dead, I'd be dead." He chuckled. "Get it? I did the Godfather voice." I didn't laugh. "It's funny." He shrugged. "I thought was funny."

How was he doing this? He was cracking jokes? Beau was utterly insane.

Let me bask in my own self loathing. Honestly, his patience with me just made me feel worse. "I wish you could stop being so understanding sometimes. It's very frustrating."

"You want me to say you're a monster? You want me to scream in terror?" He grinned and pulled on a fake expression of horror and then topped it off with another eye roll.

"Yes, it's the natural thing to do. A normal person would."

"What about our relationship is natural? What about us is normal?" Beau laughed.

"Good point." I muttered.

He held out his hand towards me. "If you're done with your temper tantrum and trying to scare me off, will you please sit down again. I wasn't done."

I obliged, replacing my hand back in his and sitting down by his side.

"I told you, you were brave."

"Is it bravery if I'm just insane?" Beau replied playfully. He sat forward. "Love makes you crazy."

My chest roared and my eyes softened. "Love does make you crazy." I leaned towards him. Our heads just inches apart.

"I'm in complete control." I placed my hand on his neck. The warmth was amazing. I could feel him blush at the contact. "See? Perfectly fine." I could feel his blood being pumped through the major artery. I understood this and I understood a small urge arose to rip into it with my teeth, but it was such a weak part of me. It was like a stray annoying thought, easily ignorable. I was in control.

I took a moment to look at Beau. Really look at him. He stared helpless at me with big blue eyes. His blush forming around his cheeks. Delicious.

"The blush on your cheeks is lovely." I murmured truthfully. I knew he was embarrassed by it, but I didn't want him to be. I loved it. I loved that I could cause such a strong reaction. I freed my other hand that was still in his grasp and placed it on his cheek. I held his head in both of my hands now. His face, so fragile in my grasp. I held his life in my palms. No. I held my life in my palms. He was my life now.

"Do you trust me?" I wanted to try something. Something hard and difficult but something I wanted.

"I do."

"Don't move. Be very still." I commanded. In response he closed his eyes and tried to stay as motionless as possible.

I leaned forward slowly. I rotated my body in a better position. Carefully, I rested my cheek on his chest. My nose just grazing his throat at an angle.

I could feel his heart beating on my cheek like a drum. If I could handle this, then I could forge my own future. This was my test.

I took a deep breath. Beau filled my nostrils and scorched my throat with need. I crushed my thumb against my forefinger, but otherwise didn't move a single muscle. If I did, it would be to attack. I could feel my eyes willing to switch to predator mode. God, this was intense. His blood was flowing just below my teeth. I could hear it. I could smell it. I could feel it. I could feel his blood rush passed me. Rich delicious red pumping in and out and through his body. I wasn't hungry but I could drain him completely, finding the room. I could rip his heart out and stop the blood from pumping. Stop the pain in my throat. Stop the agony of trying. Drink him from the inside out. Let it happen. It would be quick. He might not even feel it.

This was a mistake. I had tempted myself too far this time. Oh God, Beau, I'm so sorry.

This was it. I felt my lips adjusted ready to unlock my teeth.

I exhaled. No, I had control. I had control. I would never hurt Beau. I will never hurt Beau. I'm not hurting Beau.

I breathed in again. I let it assault me like this again and again. Feed. Drink. Bite. No! Not Beau. Get a grip. Breath. Suffer. Again and again. My mind was at war with itself. I struggled over control but I did have control. I just needed to keep it. My head clanged with the noise of it all.

It wasn't getting better that I noticed. Every breath brought me to a killing place and then I would rally against it. Over and over and over again.

We laid like this for nearly an hour. Was Beau aware of the battle I was in? He seemed so content, almost at peace.

It would be quick.

No!

He wouldn't feel it. He's so unaware right now. He wouldn't even realize what you were doing.

No!

My Beau. My Beau. My Beau.

I chanted his name in my head. I chanted to the drum of his heart. My Beau. My Beau. My Beau. I let it become the only thought. My personal anthem.

My Beau. My Beau. My Beau.

Another hour passed this way.

My Beau. My Beau. My Beau.

At one point I breathed in and I noticed how quiet it was in my head.

Another breath. There wasn't any argument with myself.

Another breath. I just heard birds in the distance, and Beau's heart beat. There was no conflict about it. Nothing in me was telling me I had to devour him.

I breathed in through my nose, it scorched its way down to my lungs, but I found it. . . manageable.

"Ah." I breathed. Beau looked down at me. "Much better."

"Is this okay?" He asked.

I grinned up at him. "You've made me so warm. See?" I grabbed his hand and placed it on my cheek. His hand did not feel like the normal fire anymore. My temperature almost matched it. We felt nearly the same, like we belonged. "I'm stronger than I thought I was." I bragged.

"That's what Alice said."

I sat up and my eyes narrowed. I didn't want to lose this moment. I had overcome my demons (for now). They could come back, but I wasn't afraid anymore of myself. I wanted to roar with victory, but I was caught off guard when he mentioned Alice.

"Will it be easier for you now?" Beau questioned.

"I think so. I've grown very tolerant, but if I'm away from you too long, it might get worse again. But I don't think I'll have to start from square one again."

"Well, don't stay away too long then." Beau mumbled.

I grinned up at him. "I won't. I don't ever want to leave your side."

"Then don't." He grabbed my hand and pulled it to his cheek. "Stay with me."

The words he said in his dream over and over again. The words that had broken my heart, because I should have left when I had the chance. The words that I loved because he wanted me.

"Stay with me." He begged.

"I will." I promised. "Forever."

"Don't move." He whispered, giving me the same instructions I said earlier.

I shut down everything. I couldn't control what he did. He was an unknown variable. I closed my eyes and even closed off my breathing, but that didn't stop me from feeling his warm fire caress my face. His fingers moved on my cheeks like he was inspecting an ancient artifact. His hot breath warmed my neck. It was torture in the best kind. So he wouldn't surprise me, his movements were so deliberate and slow. He was overdoing it and it was madness.

I had never been touched this way. Fired burned and not just where Beau's fingers massaged into my face. I wanted to purr. Beau's thumb circled my mouth. With his forefinger he gently glided over my lips. I resisted the urge to purse them shut. Trust him. Trust him. My lips parted ever so slightly. I could almost taste him. I would have if I were breathing. Beau was literally between my lips, the most dangerous place for him. He wasn't shy. I didn't sense any hesitation.

I didn't react. I was preparing to fight myself but no conflict ever came. I surprised myself.

Beau pulled up and leaned back against his hands.

"Thank you." He muttered.

"Beau," I said his name with as much passion as I felt.

"I know that must have been hard."

"I wish you could understand how complex. . . Perhaps you do. You make me hungry, but in a foreign way, that I'm not used to."

Beau laughed. "I think I may understand that more than you think."

"Is it always like this? Being human."

"When I'm with you? Yes." He ruffled his hair.

"It's all very new to me. I'm not sure what I can do. I'm not sure what to do." I knew what I wanted to do to Beau but I didn't know what I should do with him. He was so fragile.

"Funny, I was going to say the same thing." He looked at me and then slowly leaned his head against my chest. "This, for instance, seems to be okay."

I hummed. "Yes." I wrapped my arms around him. "I think, for now, if you don't mind, following my lead would be the simplest course of action?" We laid in this embrace for another immeasurable moment. I felt warm all over.

A long moment passed in bliss. The sun was lowering itself, just brushing against the tips of the tallest trees now.

"My forever or your forever?" Beau sighed, pulling from something I had said earlier. The question must have been on his mind for some time now.

"What do you mean?"

"You said you would stay with me forever. How long is that to you?" His eyebrows puckered.

My stomach dropped. How did he know to ask that question? The question I never wanted to answer. "Is this what you and Alice discussed yesterday?" My tone darkened. I released my arms and Beau sat up and bent his knees onto his chest.

"No. Alice didn't say anything. But, I'm not stupid, Edward. I don't have to see the future to know where our relationship goes." He sat up and started picking apart a blade of grass. "You were born in the early 1900's, never aging a day since you were bitten. You're immortal, aren't you?" The blade of grass getting smaller and smaller. "You said you would stay with me forever. Is that my forever or your forever?"

Understanding flooded my system. He was asking if I planned to change him.

"I would never force this curse on you. Can't you see, I'm trying so hard to keep you intact. To save your humanity?"

"Why?" Beau asked, looking hurt. "If you want to keep me human then that means you don't intend to keep me around."

"What?" I hissed. Beau was accusing me of lying.

"I'm going to get old. And you're going to stay beautiful and perfect. Edward." He twirled a new blade of grass in his hand. "You wouldn't be forcing anything on me. If you really wanted me forever. Well, I want you forever too. Alice saw it didn't she? Me, like you. Like all of you. A vampire?"

"I cannot allow that." I muttered through clenched teeth.

"Why not?" He looked bewildered. "It would be so much easier to be with you. You wouldn't have to control yourself around me. You wouldn't have to worry about killing me. You wouldn't have to save me. If I was a vampire-"

"No!" I yelled, harder than I meant to.

"So you want to keep me weaker than you are? Is this about some weird dominance thing?"

"No. Beau. I'm a monster. I'm an actual monster. I don't want to be responsible for turning you into one too. Our way of life is not what I want for you."

"So, you don't want me enough to really be with me forever." He accused bitterly.

"Don't be absurd." I shook my head at him. "Think about it, Beau. You'd have to give up everything you've ever known. You wouldn't be you, you'd be a horrible twisted version of yourself. This isn't a trick. I'm stuck like this permanently. I can't just turn it off when I want to. I would never want this life for you. You're too good. Beau I don't want you to be a vampire because I love you too much." Couldn't he understand? Couldn't he see that everything I've done, was to protect him from harm. Keeping him human was part of that. The worst thing I could do was take away Beau's humanity. "I love you." I whispered again, begging him to understand.

Beau dropped the piece of grass. Blue eyes piercing into mine. I couldn't tell what he was thinking. I'd never felt so vulnerable before. Here I was, an immortal with a cold dead heart and it was all I could offer him. I just wanted his heart to stay warm.

A deep breath was drawn into his chest. His hard face softened.

"I love you too." Beau announced, his voice nearly trembling with the weight in them.

There was space enough in my brain to experience several different things at once. This was one of the more complexing moments that I had encountered. This was both the best and worst moments in my long life. I had longed to hear those words. It was the sweetest sound I had ever heard. I basked in the glow of them. If I could die of happiness, this would be the moment.

On the other hand, Beau was being a real pill. He had questioned my devotion and my trust. He was stupid in wanting this curse. He wanted to be like me? Why? Why? Why? Beau could never be allowed to be a monster. My sweet, insane Beau. My Beau. My Beau who loved me.

He sighed and picked at the ground again. "Listen. I don't want to fight about this now. I'm happy. This is enough for now." He glanced at me and blushed. "We can talk about the rest later."

I nodded. "That sounds reasonable."

"But Edward," His voice was warning. "I'm betting on Alice."

* * *

 **AN: Thanks for reading!**

 **I wanted Edward and Beau to discuss the end game a little, sooner than the books did. That was something that always kind of bothered me. Like, come on. You didn't think about this? I feel like it's pretty important and an obvious question to ask. It's like the supernatural version of talking about wanting kids or not. Ya feel?**

 **I'm currently reworking the next chapter, trying to get it right. Look forward to more cute moments, some surprise visitors, and maybe some lemons?**

 **Thanks for following and reviewing!**


	17. Chapter 17: Mind over Matter

Chapter Seventeen

Mind Over Matter

Edward's POV

* * *

"Uh." Beau hesitated."Nah, I'm good. I'll just walk."

I was trying to convince Beau to climb on my back so I could run back to my car. The sun was almost at the horizon. Beau would not be able to walk back in the darkness. I would have to carry him regardless. I wanted to show him running. It was one of my favorite things. I wanted to show him. The wind, and the scenery zipping by. Running was fantastic. I was still in a good mood from my victory over my bloodlust.

"Come on," I grabbed his hand and pulled him onto me against his protest. I reveled in his embrace. Beau clutching me from behind did strange things to me. Did I just shiver?

"Hold on." I commanded, securing his legs around my waist. The proportions were a little off for this, as he was slightly taller than I am, but I made sure he was safely attached to me. I took off in a sprint. His face pressed against mine. Beau breathed heavily in my ear. It tickled in a very good way.

Oh.

 _Oh. . ._ I was in a more stable and more confident place around Beau. My mind wandered again towards the rabbit hole. I let myself peer inside.

Of all the things, I thought about Jessica. When I first arrived at Forks, she had imagined us making out against a wall, on a desk, on her bed, etc etc. When Beau arrived, she had imagined the same things with him. Then when she found out about Beau and I, she replaced herself in her imaginings with me. Where Jessica once stood in her fantasies, I was now.

 _Beau and I entwined. . . His hands gripping my neck. . . I was leaning against him, my palms on either side of his face. . . our mouths together as if our lives depended on it. . . my hands on his chest. . . our kiss deepening. . .his legs wrapped around me._ Not unlike they were now.

Deeper into the rabbit hole, I let myself fall.

 _Beau's bare chest pressed against my back . . . his arms holding mine down, pinning my hands to the ground. . . I bent over on my knees and he hugged to my position. . . not a single inch of my skin was untouched by his . . . his erection pressed into me. . ._

I shivered involuntarily again and made sure Beau wasn't jostled out of position by the movement. I breathed deeply through the disappearing forest. The crisp air was supposed to clear my mind, not muddle it.

I was still a little keyed up when I reached the edge of the forest. I stood by the curb, waiting for Beau to detach himself.

"Wasn't that exhilarating? Beau?" I called. His cheek was still pressed onto me. His grip on my chest was so tight, his knuckles were white. "Beau, are you ok?"

"Mhm. Exhilarating." He hummed with absolutely zero confidence.

"You can let go now."

"Mhm." He answered again but didn't move.

"Do you need help?" I finally offered. I knew he wasn't hurt. I still felt like I was flying and I wanted to look at his face.

"No." He shook his head stubbornly. His dark wavy hair mixed in with mine when he did so. I was so close to him and I felt fine. This was more than manageable. I liked it. I wasn't afraid, or in danger of hurting him. It just felt good.

"Do you need me to make you?" I threatened playfully.

"No. I got it. I got it." His knuckles still white.

I laughed and peeled his fingers off my shirt. I must have miscalculated something. He fell with a soft thud to the ground below.

"Oh." He gasped. I spun around.

"I'm so sorry, Beau!" I said genuinely, but the look on his face was priceless. I couldn't stop the laugh.

He just looked more bewildered. I laughed harder. He sunk further into the ground and covered his face with his hands.

That wouldn't do.

"Beau, are you okay?"

"No." He answered matter of factly. "You really are trying to kill me."

"What are you talking about?

"The running? That . . . I think I'm gonna be sick. I need to lie down."

I suggested he sit with his head between his knees. I rubbed comforting circles into his back gently while he found his breath.

Oh, well that's not at all what I had intended from our run.

A few seconds passed and he straightened up. "I never want to do that again. Tell me, were you trying to get as close as possible to every tree?"

His tone was mildly hostile.

"No, Beau. I'm pretty good at navigating."

"That's what the Titanic's captain thought." He rolled his eyes. "At least the captain didn't laugh when the ship started to sink."

Why was he so irresistible when he was upset?

"I'm sorry for laughing. You're face was so funny. I wasn't laughing because you fell."

"Right. I'm the funny one. Is it funny that I almost passed out?"

"No." I bit back a grin. "I love running. It gives me the sense of true freedom. I'm sorry. I didn't realize you would react like this. Next time-"

"Next time?" Beau asked incredulously. "Next time?"

"Next time, maybe you should keep your eyes closed."

"That way I won't see the tree that ends my life. Good plan." Beau scowled. "I'm dating a vampire, and a tree is what's going to do me in." He muttered under his breath.

I rolled my eyes. "Beau, now you're the one having the temper tantrum." The dimples on his cheeks grew more pronounced as he tried to hid a smile from me. I love what his eyebrows did when they furrowed together.

He sighed and closed his eyes. I took the moment of his contemplation to kneel beside him. "Beau, open your eyes." I invited. When he looked up again, he flinched in surprise. "Oh." His face was only two inches from mine. I could feel his breath.

"Beau." I tendered excitedly. "While we were running, I was thinking-"

"About not hitting trees I hope." Beau filled in his own sentence.

I laughed. "Beau, don't be silly. Running is second nature to me. It comes so naturally I don't have to think about."

He groaned. "Show off."

I bit back a grin.

"Beau, I was thinking. . .There's something I've been wanting to do." I leaned in closer. My nose grazed across his cheek, leaving behind a blushing trail on his skin. I breathed on the place I was about to make contact with. His mouth twitched in response.

I hesitated making sure I could handle this.

Carefully, I pressed my lips against his. Our lips fit together so delicately, like a butterfly landing on a glass ornament. I enjoyed the way Beau's soft lips formed in shape around mine. The contact was so sweet, and not just because he tasted like what I imagined honey would.

Then I felt the rising heat beneath Beau's skin and before I knew what was happening Beau gasped and his lips parted around mine wildly. Forcefully, he crashed his lips against mine hard. Warm hands tangled themselves into my hair. Arms snug against my face. It was like he melted and then melded around me, like liquid iron.

It was amazing. It was dangerous.

He surrounded me. I loved it. I smiled into him, but quickly became aware of my exposed teeth and the constant pressure he was unleashing towards them.

I pushed gently back on Beau's head and released his grip on me. In another instant I was on the opposite side of the car.

"Oops." Beau winced once he realized that I had left. His arms were outstretched around air. "I'm sorry." He apologized.

"That was unexpected." I hummed. I didn't know what to make of it. I wasn't going to harm Beau. I only left out of precaution.

"Sorry."

"Don't be." I grinned at him. "You have nothing to be sorry for."

"I went too far." He explained.

"Yes." I agreed. "That wasn't exactly following my lead."

"Sorry." He repeated. I started to walk back to him. He was obviously embarrassed. "That. . . that surprised me. I can do better. I will do better." He looked like he was giving himself a pep talk.

"I'll try not to surprise you next time." I chuckled as I stood by his side once more. A grin spread across my face. Reaching a hand out, I combed it through Beau's hair and kept it there cupping the back of his head tightly. His eyes rolled back at the touch. "Beau, don't move." I placed my other hand on his shoulder. "I'm going to kiss you again." I saw him freeze in place. I waited a moment to gaze at his expectant, nervous, and excited face before I closed the gap between our lips. I loved him.

Again, a kiss like a butterfly. A mix of fire and ice but sweet as honey.

I felt like I was melting. I felt. . . human.

I pulled away and brought my hands back to my side. Beau fell forward after them. His eyes were still closed, but after I caught him mid fall, his lids fluttered open.

"What?" He said with a start. He almost toppled over again after I had just steadied him back.

"Are you alright, Beau?" I asked with concern. "Beau, are you okay?" I questioned, not sure whether I found this more alarming or more humourous. Did he black out?

"Uh." Beau thought. "I don't know. I think I forgot to breath. Geez." He ran his hand through his hair. "You are dangerous."

"What am I going to do with you, Beau?" I was having a hard time juggling so many emotions. "Am I that bad of a kisser?" Great at everything except this, I guess. "You attacked me the first time, and you nearly passed out the second. God, I'm the worst, aren't I?"

"No." Beau protested earnestly. His cheeks still burning. "That was. . . incredible. You are too good actually." His eyes darted to his feet. "I like your lips."

I practically purred. Beau liked kissing me. His ridiculous reactions were caused because he liked kissing me. Hmm. That wouldn't do.

"We should do this some more." Beau said slowly. "I mean, so I can figure out how to control myself. You know, like practice." He shrugged. "Third time's the charm, you know." He eyed me hopefully while he ruffled his hair.

I laughed and grabbed both his hands in mine. He bent his head down and we leaned our foreheads together. "Hold on." He breathed.

"Mind over matter, Beau." I chuckled.

My heart was light, but I felt so full. I felt like I could fly. There was nothing more I wanted than to kiss Beau. Our lips were so close now. Only half an inch apart. Beau breathed heavily.

"Easy for you to say." His hot breath tickled my face. "Okay, Beau. Keep it together. Don't move. But do breath." He said to himself.

I chuckled again. "Ready for round three?"

"Let's do this." He spoke in a voice more fitting for a wrestling match. I had to pull away so that I could laugh.

"What was that?" I bursted.

He shrugged and tightened his grasp on my hands. I could tell he was trying to pull me back in. I obliged. I would give him anything he wanted.

"Okay, okay, okay." Beau urged. "Ready."

I raised my eyebrows. Stopping myself, just a centimeter from his lips."Positive?"

"Goddammit, Edward. Fucking kiss me again."

"As you wish." I grinned and leaned in. I normally don't care for swearing, but when Beau does it, it's adorable.

Our lips latched onto each other. It wasn't as delicate and gentle this time. It felt more familiar. Our kiss was earthy and deep. Kissing Beau felt right. We were getting good at this.

He pulled away too soon.

"Wow." He breathed. He didn't attack me. He was still upright. So far so good. Third time was the charm.

I nodded. Wow was right. So this is what I've been missing? I couldn't imagine kissing anyone but Beau. Beau was it for me. No one before and no one would come after. I would wait another 90 years for this if I had to. Beau was everything to me. "Indeed. Mind over matter."

He ruffled his hair.

"Come on," I pulled him in the direction of the car. "I gotta get you home."

"Do you have to?" He breathed.

"Well, I did promise I would." I grinned. I was still reeling from the kiss and still feeling victorious for bringing Beau out of the woods alive. "Besides," My grin was mischievous. "It's time I met Charlie." I guessed that this would sober him up.

Beau's nearly permanent blush blanched before me. He gulped.

"Uh oh."

I was getting good at reading Beau. However, I couldn't have predicated what happened next.

* * *

 **AN: Thanks for reading, guys!**

 **I love reading your reviews! You're the best.**

 **\- Rosalie**


	18. Chapter 18: Black

Chapter 18

Black

Beau's POV

* * *

When Edward rolled down the windows while crooning to a song on the oldies station, I remembered a similar moment with Alice. She had to pull the car over.

"It doesn't bother you anymore?" I asked over the wind and the music. I knew I didn't need to shout for Edward to hear me, but my voice rose out of habit.

"You don't want to drink my blood anymore?"

Edward lowered the music. "No. It's still there, but the urge is much weaker now. The instinct is much smaller. Mind over matter." He laughed again probably remembering all our kissing experiments.

I still couldn't believe it. I kissed him. I kissed him a lot. Everyone talks about how girl's lips are sweet. I didn't know much about that, but Edward's lips were pure sugar. He tasted just as good as he smelled. How was that even real? Edward's whole existence was mind boggling. The fact that he. . . He, Edward fucking Cullen wanted me was even more absurd but I wasn't taking it for granted. I wasn't going to question it any more. He loved me for some bizarre reason and I loved him back helplessly. I felt like I was on a sugar high. An Edward high.

I was brought up short again remembering that I was going to introduce him to Charlie. We were getting close to the house. I quickly ran over it again in my head how I should do it.

" _Hey, Dad. I'd like you to meet my boyfriend."_ Maybe I shouldn't say boyfriend. Maybe that was too much for him. " _Hey, Dad. I'd like you to meet the man of my literal dreams."_ Too spicy. Too spicy but still accurate. " _Hey, Dad. I'd like you to meet my vampire lover."_ I was getting delirious.

I sagged in the passenger seat. Edward rubbed my arm soothingly.

His features darkened when he pulled up to my house, his lips curling down into disgust.

"Wanna rain check on meeting Charlie?" I asked hopefully.

He didn't answer me. Edward's intense gaze was focused on the extra car in the driveway.

I turned to look. I didn't recognize it at first. It had been years since the last time I saw the white sedan. It belonged to a family friend. I racked my brain trying to think of their names. I remembered playing with the two oldest children.

"That's the Blacks car." I remembered out loud.

Edward turned to me, face stony and closed up. "Perhaps I should come back another time."

"Come on." I rolled my eyes. "I spent the entire ride over here preparing myself for this. Don't back out now. I'll have to start all over. Besides, with guests present, Charlie will have an out."

"That's a lot to impose on another house guest." Edward reasoned.

"I don't care who knows we're together. I want everyone to know." I kissed his hand and I saw his expression shift momentarily out from his walled off expression.

"I don't know, Beau. This situation is a little trickier than you're able to understand."

I shook my head. "Edward, my dad is gonna wonder where I've been. We drove your car. He's gonna have questions and I'm gonna tell him I was with you and then he's gonna ask why you didn't come inside and it's gonna be this big thing and he'll probably get his feelings hurt. So just come inside for a moment."

Why was I the one pressuring him into this? When did the tables turn?

Edward laughed. "Beau, Charlie isn't home yet. Listen, please. I can't go in with them there. I'll explain later. There's a lot you don't know. We can do a rain-check on meeting your father. It doesn't have to be tonight."

I wanted to be upset, but I couldn't muster it right now. Edward was pleading seriously. This was important and beyond me right now.

My shoulders slumped forward. "Okay." I reached for the door. "But, will you come back? When they've left will you come back?"

He nodded solemnly.

"Okay. Fine." I agreed. "I'm going to kiss your cheek now." I warned before I leaned in and made good on my word. A thrill ran up my spine and my heart raced. Was I ever going to get over that? Did I want to?

"I'll be close by." He promised.

I had just closed the door when I heard someone call my name.

"Beaufort Swan?" An unfamiliar voice called from the house. Dark hair peeked over the threshold. "Beau is that you?"

"Oh my god." I stuttered and walked away from the car. I heard it reverse out of the driveway behind me. "Julie? Jules?" The girl bounded from the porch steps, her long black tresses getting caught on her hoodie. Julie Black. "Woah, you've gotten tall."

"I was like 9 last time you saw me, so I hope I'm taller." She responded laughing.

"What are you guys doing here? Is Bonnie inside?" I tried to peer through the door.

"Yeah, mom got in a weird mood and decided to have a surprise visit. We brought Clearwater's fish fry."

"Yum."

She glanced behind me. I turned back, following her gaze. A silver Volvo was just driving out of sight.

"Who was that? I didn't recognize him."

"That's my boyfriend." I educated Jules.

"Oh." Her head cocked to one side. "Boyfriend?"

I nodded. Here we go again. It felt weird having to declare who I was and who I loved again and again. Straight people took it for granted, being able to introduce themselves without a slew of mixed emotions. I saw Jules thinking hard about something. Suddenly she laughed with a huge grin on her face.

"That makes sense. I had a huuuuuge crush on you growing up but you never noticed."

"Really?" I laughed with her. I racked my brain trying to remember my time here in those summers. I mostly just remembered her older brothers. "Sorry?"

"Hey, don't worry about it, Swan." She hit me on the arm. It kind of hurt. When did she get so strong?

"So who is the lucky fellow?" She batted her eyelashes comically.

"Edward." I answered proudly. "Edward Cullen."

Her eyes bulged. "No freaking way." She hit my arm again.

"Ouch. Take it easy will you?" Jules really could punch hard.

"Er, sorry. But you're dating a Cullen?" Jules backed up and eyed me. She looked impressed. "That's hilarious. I can't wait to tell my friends. They're gonna bug!"

"Why?" I was defensive. I knew rumors would spread about two guys dating in a small town. I wasn't a fool. I didn't like the idea of spreading this just to get homophobic reactions out of people. This was my life, not a gossip column.

"Oh, no not like that. It's just. A Cullen." She said the name with a certain amount of awe. "It's stupid but there's a lot of superstitious people on the rez. They think the Cullens are some kind of. . ."

"Beau?" Bonnie appeared in the doorway. I didn't hear her approach. How long had she been sitting there? What did she overhear?

"Hey, Bonnie!" I greeted warmly and walked over to her wheelchair. Her long grey hair was braided down her side. "Long time, no see. How did you guys get in the house?"

"Oh, Charlie gave me a spare key to use during emergencies." She patted my hand, her beady eyes filled with concern..

"What's the emergency?" I didn't sense anything the matter. Jules had been pretty casual. "Is everything okay?"

"Is your father around?" She looked passed me out the open door as if he might walk up any second. "I was hoping to talk to him. When is he coming in?" Bonnie asked, avoiding my question.

"He's fishing. He said he would be out late." I lied.

She nodded her head thoughtfully. Her dark soulful eyes looked me over.

"I've heard rumors, Beau Swan. Rumors that you're dating a boy." She over-pronounced the b in boy. "That doctor's son. Is this true?" Her words were stern. I didn't like the way she sneered around the phrase 'that doctor.' In the back of my head, I imagined her in cartoon form wagging a finger and saying something about 'young whipper-snappers.' This was not the Bonnie I knew.

"Mom." Jules tried to intercede. Bonnie threw her hands up to stop her from saying anything else.

"Let him answer the question."

"What's it to you?" My walls were up and I was playing defense.

She smacked her lips. "Don't be insolent. I am your elder."

"You're the one that barged into my residence, unannounced. I don't have to answer to you." I spat with my arms crossed. I don't know where my stark defiance was coming from. I hoped I would never have to run into this level of homophobia. I thought maybe I had managed to skip around it. Today was such a whirlwind, this was not the conversation I was ready to have. I didn't have the patience for it.

Her eyes were straining and I could see a wild energy about her. "Are you or are you not seeing a Cullen boy?"

I pulled on what I hoped was a strong willed face. My eyes fierce.

"Yes, I am and it's none of your business." I bit back.

I saw her draw in a deep breath. Even though she was sitting in her wheelchair I felt like she was towering over me.

"End it. End it now." Bonnie spoke from the depths of her throat.

I raised my eyebrows, speechless.

"It's unnatural. It's evil. There's a darkness, Beau. I only say this because I care about you, but you cannot be in a relationship with him. It's wrong."

"Mom!" Jules shouted. "Mom, shut up!"

"End it!" Bonnie yelled over her daughter. "You and that boy. It's-"

"Get out." My voice was low and even. It surprised me how heavy my words were. "Get out now." A strong force powered my voice.

"Listen to me, Beau. It's not right. It's just not right. You and that boy." Bonnie spat and shook her head.

Jules lunged forward and grabbed her wheelchair. "Mom, enough." She hissed.

As she pushed her mom towards the door, Jules eyed me apologetically. She didn't know this was an ambush. I nodded in understanding, but made no move. I was still stunned.

I heard Bonnie still seething from outside as Jules got her in the car. "End it!" I heard another final screech before Jules had shut the car door on her mother.

I stood unable to move in the hallway. The front door shuddered on its hinges. It was still swung open to the outside. I heard the rain gently hitting pavement.

I'm not sure how long I stood there. I wasn't quite sure what had just happened. I was trying to wrap my brain around it. Did I do the right thing? I didn't exactly defend myself. I didn't do anything. I hadn't felt such anger and disgust from someone like that before. She was so openly hostile about it.

"Beau?" I heard my dad come in. "Beau, the door was left open. Is everything okay?"

I was staring off at a spot in the floor. In response to my dad I nodded, then shrugged reconsidering the matter. Finally, I hung my head and shook it slightly. Small, painful tears springing from my eyes. I didn't feel emotional. I'm not sure where they came from.

"What happened?" Dad hadn't even unloaded his belt yet.

"Bonnie Black came by." I muttered.

"Really? I haven't seen her since we got in an argument about. . . " He stopped suddenly. His eyes pointed to me seriously. "Where is she? Why did she leave?" His tone was cautious.

"I told her to get out." I whispered, still staring at the floor.

"What did she say to you?" Charlie's angered concern surprised me. He reached for my arm sympathetically. "Did she say something about you? Did she say something about the Cullens?"

I nodded. "Yeah."

Charlie sucked in a breath. "That's it. I'm going to talk to her." He picked up his keys. "She can't do that. That's the last straw. I'm sorry, Beau. I'll handle this." He turned on his heels.

"Dad, no. It's not your fight. It's mine. Don't-" I turned to chase after him but he was stuck in the doorway.

"You must be Charlie." My favorite velvet voice greeted from the other side of the door. "My name is Edward. I've been wanting to meet you for a while now. I'm sorry it took so long. I just got back in town."

"Oh, I'm. Yes. . . I'm Charlie." He was confused about the moment. "Its. . . its nice to meet you. I've always admired your family. Your father is good people. Um, would you like to come inside?" He stammered and motioned for Edward to come in.

"Thank you." I saw his bronze hair first come through the door. His gaze instantly latched onto mine. How much had he heard? How much did he know? I was probably pretty pathetic looking, moping in the hallway. My eyes were red. Water still clouded my vision.

"Edward," I breathed and I collapsed into him. He enveloped me into a hug.

"I'm so sorry, Beau." He whispered into my ear. "I'm so sorry."

"I'm fine." I stuttered. "I'm just. It's been a day. You know?" I could feel a swell of emotion bubbling up from my chest. I gripped Edward as I felt it try to escape.

He squeezed me tighter comfortingly, yet carefully.

I heard my dad clear his throat.

I pulled myself reluctantly from Edward. "Uh, Dad. This is my boyfriend." I grinned nervously and cleared the remaining stinging tears from my eyes. This is not how I had prepared for this moment. Edward's hand slipped down my back, trailing the length of my arm until it found its way to my hand. I shivered silently, feeling my heart race.

"It's nice to meet you Edward. Thank you for coming." Charlie said truthfully. He turned to me. "Beau, about Bonnie. . ."

I shook my head. "Just make sure she doesn't come back. I don't want to see her again."

Charlie closed the door. He wasn't going after them.

"Did you see the game last night?" Edward asked my father, changing the flavor of the room. March Madness.

They began a heavy conversation about sports that went right over my head. I didn't realize what a big fan Edward was. I rolled my eyes but followed him to the living room where my Dad lead us. He sat in his normal chair. Edward sat on the opposite arm chair while I curled up on the sofa by myself. The game was still playing. The sounds of commentators, crowd cheering, and sneakers squeaking came from the speakers. Charlie laughed at something Edward said and they kept up a playful banter about a particular coach.

Again. This all went over my head.

When I went to go make dinner, Edward winked at me and smiled.

It was weird to see him here like this. After all the extraordinary things that happened today. After all the solemn vows we made. His skin was actually glittering like a diamond. . . and now he's on my father's armchair, chatting about different plays and stats. I shook my head. Edward always surprised me. He didn't look right in my living room. He didn't match the furniture. He was too breathtaking for this run of the mill room.

I reheated the lasagna I made last night and set out two plates. I thought briefly how strange it would look to feed myself and dad and "forget" to make a plate for my boyfriend.

I giggled and prepared another plate.

Edward rolled his eyes when I handed him the food and a fork. He sat up and grabbed it reluctantly. "Thanks." His tone was sarcastic.

Charlie didn't notice. My father's eyes were glued on the game.

I sat down and started eating. Edward's piece had miraculously disappeared and reappeared on my plate.

I glared at him. Edward just shrugged and stared at the TV but his smile was mischievous.

When the game ended after double overtime, Charlie looked at his watch, then glanced between the two of us. His moustache twitched.

"Uh, well. It's pretty late."

Edward stood up, pulling me to my feet too like a magic string.

"I better get going. Thanks for having me." Edward spoke quietly.

"Anytime." Charlie nodded. The look on his face was one of approval. For Charlie anyway. He barely ever smiled.

As they joked some more about one of the offense players, Edward's hand reached back and found mine.

"Do you mind if I steal Beau tomorrow?" He asked for my father's permission. He never asked for it before. I've been stolen multiple times by the Cullen family in the last few days.

"Please get him out of this house." Charlie chuckled.

"Excellent." Edward grinned. He then turned to me. Like always, his eyes completely disarmed me. I melted on the spot.

"Well, goodnight you two." Charlie said awkwardly looking between us and heading out the room, but he lingered in the hallway.

Edward kissed my hand gently.

"Goodnight." He called to all of us, while his eyes held mine. Then he pulled my hand close to his chest, bringing my body into him. Edward whispered in my ear. "Shall I see you upstairs?"

I blushed and nodded a little too enthusiastically. He angled up and brushed his lips on my forehead.

"Say 'Goodnight, Edward. I'll see you tomorrow.'"

Charlie must be close by still, making sure we weren't gonna sneak out.

My heart thudded loudly. "G-goodnight, Edward. I'll see you tomorrow." I obeyed, but perhaps I said this too obviously.

Edward laughed into my hair. "You're a terrible actor."

I watched him walk outside and I closed the door after him.

"Nice boy." Charlie said behind me.

I turned and grinned. "Yeah, he's pretty great."

"He's. . . I can tell he really likes you."

I didn't realize he was trying to notice anything.

"Dad!" I blushed.

Charlie blushed as well. He awkwardly hung in the doorway. "You like him a lot too." He stated. "That's the longest you've ever pretended to be interested in basketball."

I grinned and rolled my eyes. "Okay, well." My feet pointed towards my room. "I'm kind of exhausted. It's been a day, so I'm gonna head to bed early."

I tried to keep my voice even but in my head all I could think about was " _Shall I see you upstairs."_

* * *

 _ **AN: Were you expecting Jacob?**_

 _ **Gotcha.**_

 _ **Thanks for reading, reviewing, and following.**_

 _ **\- Rosalie**_

 _ **P.S. I don't think you're ready for the next chapter. Next chapter is what inspired me to write this whole thing to begin with. Get. Ready.**_


	19. Chapter 19: Don't Move (M)

Chapter 19: Rated MA

Don't Move

Beau's POV

* * *

Charlie eyed me like I was a suspect he was sizing up.

"You sure you're tired? You look kind of keyed up."

"Keyed up? No. I mean. I'm exhausted. I'm just excited to get some sleep." My pitch rose at the end. Were my hands sweating?

"Right, right." Charlie nodded, not completely buying it. "Just, so we're clear, and I would say this if you had a girlfriend, but, you have a 10 o'clock curfew."

"Since when?" I laughed. Why, god why did I ask that. Just let it go, dummy. "I mean. Okay. Got it." I never needed a curfew before. Now my dad was worried I would stay out with my boyfriend. I didn't need to stay out. I just needed to get to my bedroom.

"We clear?"

"Crystal." I nodded.

"Alright, then. Goodnight." Charlie backed out of the doorway, allowing me to pass.

I took the stairs two at a time.

I turned to close the door behind me, making sure the door clicked close.

"Does he really think you would sneak out?" That velvet voice was startlingly close.

I jumped involuntarily. "Oh, um, I think so." I licked my lips.

Edward's eyes appraised me. "You do look keyed up. Are you tired? Excited to sleep?" He mocked me.

"Um." I wasn't quite sure how to answer that or if I should at all. Suddenly, the choice was taken from me. Edward's lips grazed up and down on my jawbone. He started from my ear, the tiny hairs tingled with the light touch. Cold lips moved slowly towards my chin. My back was still pressed against the door but now I leaned on it heavily, needing the support. His right hand twisted up into my hair. Every hair follicle stood on end. I shivered. The tingle up my spine had nothing to do with the temperature.

I wound my arms around his waist. Clinging on his back, I made fists into his shirt, otherwise I'm sure they would be trembling. My breath came out in gasps.

Edward teasing me in the dark in my bedroom. Everywhere he touched was fire, despite his body temperature. His lips moved down my neck with sweet kisses.

I felt myself. . . start to rise.

"Um." I said again but with more force. I bit my lip, willing myself to calm down. "I. . . I have to. . ." Edward stopped and backed his face far enough away to read my expression. His one sided grin made this harder.

"I have to. . . " My brain wasn't working right. Everything was fuzzy.

Edward kissed my neck again. "Mind over matter, Beau." He dragged his nose on my clavicle. _Goddamn._ "Have to what?"

I released my grip on his back and used it to push on Edward's chest.

"Would you understand what I mean, when I say I need a moment to be human?"

He chuckled quietly and gave me the space I needed.

I splashed water on my face in the bathroom. "Get a grip, Beau." I said to myself while the water was still running. "You too, buddy." I looked down at my crotch.

I had questions for Edward. I had a lot of questions and I couldn't let myself get distracted.

I waited until I heard Charlie coming up the stairs before I opened the bathroom door. "Goodnight." I said again while I passed him. I hoped that him seeing me in my normal sleeping attire eased his mind.

I hurried back to my room. Edward was sitting in the rocking chair in the corner. His grin showed his brilliant teeth.

Edward had seen me down to my boxers before. But we were in a strict no contact zone then. Things were different now.

I jumped into bed and quickly pulled the covers over myself.

Edward eyed me curiously. "I thought you weren't tired."

"I'm not."

He cocked his head to the side. "Then what did you want to do?"

A million things crossed my mind. I said the 6th thing down on my list of what I wanted to do with Edward. "I have some more questions. Can we talk?" I patted the spot beside me.

I tried not to stare too much as Edward crawled onto my bed.

 _Easy boy_.

"What did you want to talk about?" He laid on his side, his hand propping his head up.

"Bonnie."

"What about Bonnie?" His voice was guarded.

"Well, you said earlier in the car about how there are some that don't like your family. And, it sounded like from what Bonnie said. Well, I thought it was just the run of the mill homophobia. . . but she sounded upset that I was specifically dating someone in your family."

"What's your question?"

"What are the legends?" I leaned down, getting on the same level with Edward so that our heads were on the same plane.

"Well," Edward started. "I'm not sure what the specifics of their legends are. But I can tell you what they're based on." Edward's words were very calculated. "I can tell you my side of it."

My eyes narrowed. I didn't know what that meant but I waited for it to be explained.

"A long time ago, before Alice and Jasper joined our family, we tried to settle on the Olympic peninsula."

"You mean, you lived here before?"

"Yes, before Forks even existed."

"What was here?"

"Not much. The Quileute tribe was still here. We. . . ran into them so to speak. There was almost a huge fight. A fight that would have wiped them out and taken out some of us too. You see, their warriors had a special ability. There's something in their bloodline that lets them change their physiology. It's amazing, really."

"What do you mean 'change their physiology?'"

"When we first saw them, we didn't understand. They hunted us in the forest. The Quileute werewolves. Men and women that can morph into huge wolves with teeth that can cut through vampire skin. We were only saved from a fight because I could communicate with them in wolf form."

"You could read their minds." I guessed.

Edward nodded. "Yes. Carlisle and I reasoned with the alpha. We explained what we are and that we didn't hurt people. They were reasonable. They didn't trust us, but they couldn't risk the fight. They were forced to accept peace with our family. We signed a treaty with them. We wouldn't step on their land. We wouldn't kill any human. They would leave us alone and not attack our family and keep our secret. So, even though the elders of the tribe that made the treaty have passed away, we still abide by the treaty. The leader back then was Ephraim Black. Bonnie's grandfather. There aren't any more werewolves, but the legends remain."

I thought about this for a second. Werewolves. Edward running in the forest and seeing werewolves. Teeth glistening. Trying to attack them. Edward's ability the only thing that saved them.

"So werewolves are real too?" My response was delayed.

I could feel Edward's laugh as the breath tickled my neck.

"Yes, Beau. Werewolves are real."

"Huh." I thought about Bonnie's reaction and it made a lot more sense. "She. . . Bonnie, thinks you are the same Cullens?"

Edward nodded, I felt the fabric pull and give underneath me.

"That's not good."

"No. It isn't. That's why she reacted the way she did." He paused. "Well, that's part of the reason. She really is homophobic. Double whammy."

"Oh." I frowned. "Was it bad that I was kind of hoping that maybe she just didn't like you because you were a vampire and not the gay thing?"

"No. Very reasonable. Getting upset that someone you love is dating a creature like me is forgivable. Rational, even. But not that. It's sad that people can be so blinded by their ignorance and small worlds. Our love is nothing to be ashamed about." His arm wormed under me and pulled me to his chest. I tucked my head under his shoulder while he laid his leg over mine.

I breathed in his scent. Letting my eyes close, I thought about the near impossibility that Edward is here with me now. How my life had completely changed.

"Are you asleep?" Edward asked after a moment. I shook my head. "Do you have anymore questions?"

"Well. There's something. I don't really. . . I mean." I tried to find a way to start, but I couldn't. I could feel my cheeks go red. "Forget it."

I could hear Edward's soft growl deep in his chest. "Do you know how frustrating that is? You can't do that to me."

"Sorry. I just don't know how. . . It's stupid. And I don't really want to know the answer. Yeah, no. Just forget about it." Red alerts were ringing in my brain. I wasn't thinking with my brain.

Edward groaned. "You're going to be the death of me."

I squeezed myself tighter into him.

"Please try." Edward only slightly kept the begging out of his voice.

"Well. When you were here last time." I started. "Last time I saw you here." I clarified. He could have been here multiple times and I would never know. "You. . . well, I had a certain. . . dream. . . and I was wondering how much of it you. . . witnessed."

I'm sure I looked bright red as a tomato, even in the darkness.

Edward laughed. It was a musical phrase in the air. "Oh that."

"Yes, that." I grumbled.

"I'm sorry. I should have given you your privacy. But I was curious."

"Oh no." I inched away in horror. My palms covered my face. "You saw all of it? What did I say?"

Edward pulled me in tighter despite my efforts.

"You said a lot. It was barely coherent. I probably wouldn't have understood the context if it weren't for your. . . visible display."

I groaned. "I'm sorry."

Edward laughed quietly again. "Beau, don't be sorry. Never be sorry for that. I. . . again. I was curious. I apologize for staying. It's just, well," Now Edward couldn't find the right words. "I liked that I could turn you on like that." If Edward's voice were a food, it would be melted chocolate and it would be dribbling over me. "It felt good that I could arouse you, even if it was just a dream." As he was talking, the hand on my back began to move down. Down to the small of my back. Down over my butt, hugging to every curve. Down the back of my thigh to the very sensitive area behind my knee, where he began to stroke seductively. His lips kissed my forehead.

Was I dying? Am I dying? Dear god, kill me now. Burn my body, and scatter the ashes. Tell my mom I'm sorry.

"Edward." I moaned. There was no amount of lip biting and concentration that would stop my erection now. "Damn you." I cursed. I could feel myself growing in my boxers.

Edward chuckled. "Mind over matter."

I was suddenly sad. A wave of doubt crashing on me. Edward sensed this instantly.

"What's wrong?"

"Do I not give you the same reaction?" I said through locked teeth. " _Can_ you have the same reaction?" I was doubting his ability to even have an erection. "Vampires are different in a lot of ways. I mean, it's just. Can you? I mean. Can we have sex?" Alice said she and Jasper had sex. . . I was just making sure Edward wasn't the exception. Alice had whispered something in my ear in the changing room the other day. _Was that only yesterday?_ I wanted it to be true. I wanted the vision to happen now, but perhaps she was mistaken. Her vision foretold a way for me to be. . . intimate with Edward. A way that I wanted to try very much, but I still wasn't sure if it were possible. If Edward wanted me like that.

"Beau. I would break you." His eyes were flooded with emotion. "I. . . I have to concentrate on every little movement. Every time I touch you I have to focus on not hurting you. You're so. . . fragile. Don't take that the wrong way, but I can crush rocks without thinking about it. If I got that close to you. . . if I lost control. I can't trust myself in that. I'm sorry, Beau. I don't think that's possible for us."

"Oh." I didn't even try hiding my disappointment.

"But." Edward continued. I looked up at his face. He was unreadable. "To answer your first question. . . I can have the same reaction."

It took me a second to realize what he was referring to, then I felt him push his hips closer to my leg. I felt him. I felt his hardened cock through his pants. Just inches away from mine. Oh my god. I shuddered.

"Oh." I gasped. He. . . he wanted me too. Edward had an erection for me. Holy shit.

"I'm sorry for teasing you. That was cruel." Edward admitted. "Cruel for the both of us." There was real regret in his voice. A shadow passed on his face. "I'm sorry."

"Oh." I was still dazed. I could feel his penis twitch slightly. Goddamn.

Something overcame me. Well, Edward overcame me. I knew what I was going to do. What I had to try. I wasn't following his lead. I was going off course and I had to act fast. Alice told me that I would have to surprise him before he could protest.

I turned my face into his chest and started kissing once I found skin. I didn't know where I was on his body. I didn't stop. I found myself on his neck doing work that would give a normal man a hickey. His erection that still pressed against me grew.

"Sex is off the table." Edward muttered again sadly. He said this more to himself than me, I think. He pushed me away and laid on his back.

I grew confident despite the deflection. Alice's words in my ear fueled me. I could do this.

"There are. . . other ways." I stated coyly. "I want to try something."

Before Edward could question what I meant, I hovered over Edward. My right hand pressed on his lips, silencing him. I knew he wouldn't dare open his mouth while I was pressing on his lips. I was using his control against him. I would make my apologies later.

My mouth at his ear. "Edward, don't move." I breathed. "Don't move." No one could be as still as Edward. He became a statue before me.

I bit down and pulled on his earlobe while my free hand fumbled around until I found his zipper and made quick work of undoing the fastenings.

Edward grabbed my wrist. His eyes bulged at me.

"I said don't move." My tone was as heavy as my breath. We stared at each other. I'm not sure if he was testing my resolve, or his.

He unshackled his grip around my wrist and he once more became a perfect statue. _Shit, that worked?_

I wasn't paying attention and my right hand briefly lifted off his mouth.

"Beau, what are you doing?" Edward questioned. But he wasn't going to stop me anymore. I could tell that.

"I'm going to suck your dick." I answered honestly while I covered his mouth again. I didn't want to give him a chance to respond, a chance to shake my resolve. Was he breathing faster or was it just me?

I wish I could be more romantic. I wanted to worship him properly. I wanted to strip away his clothes in loving foreplay; kiss every inch of his skin, discovering him slowly and naturally. But I knew I had to get things going before I could really play. Edward was too cautious. He would stop me before I had started. I had to get him to a point of no return.

He _could_ stop me if he really didn't want me to. But he didn't move, just as I asked.

I smiled mischievously at him while my left hand sprung him free from his trousers. I didn't mean to but I gasped "Wow" like an idiot. He wasn't even fully erect yet, but his dick was already too big for my left hand to work alone. I liked the way it felt in my grasp. Damn. A thrill shot through me. Edward was big. _Fuck me._ _Literally. Literally, fuck me._

I shoved the extra fabric around his cock down to give it breathing room. I was really doing this.

I wasn't sure I could release my right hand from his mouth yet. I still needed to butter him up. He might try to persuade me to stop. I didn't want to. I wanted to do this. I wanted him to feel good and I wanted him to feel pleasure because of me. I thought of all the time he spent alone, longer than any human ever had. He had come into _my_ life so soon. I didn't care if this physical contact could only be a one way street. This was my gift for him. This was my gift for waiting for me.

I worked on him slowly with one hand. Twirling a couple fingers around the crown. He responded to my touch, growing and pulsating.

Edward's eyes were always on me. I felt his gaze, but I couldn't look him in the eye. Not now. Not while I was playing with his cock.

Edward exhaled loudly when I gripped him with my whole hand and pushed down. Okay, I snuck a peek at his face to see his eyes close briefly with his head pushed against the pillow. Good. That was a good sign. I picked up my right hand carefully from his lips.

"Beau, you don't have to do this." His voice was weak, barely audible as if he didn't want me to hear _._

I brought both hands down onto his throbbing erection and began rhythmically pumping. He moaned quietly, despite himself. I enjoyed that more than I thought I would.

"Did you say something?" I asked coquettishly, while I pulled up his cotton shirt from the bottom and began kissing his bare stomach.

He responded to both my touch and my question with a soft sexy moan. I knew I had him then.

His heavy dick was cold in my hands, but it was warming up slightly with the slow moving friction.

I moved my kisses lower and lower, teasingly. Even his abs were rock hard on my lips. I squirmed imagining what his cock would feel like in my mouth. What he would taste like. I wanted to envelope him in my mouth. My lips inched closer to the base of his penis.

Cruelly, I lifted my face from his body just before I got there. "Do you want me to stop?" This wasn't a real question.

Edward's expression was priceless: He looked helpless. No. He looked _hungry_. His hand reached out and pressed my head back down. This was his wordless answer. He wanted me to give him a blow job. Bending forward to his excited erection, I obliged happily.

I took a deep breath. I was really fucking doing this.

My tongue came out and wrapped around the head. _Holy shit, he tasted good._ Spit dribbled down his shaft.

Edward moaned softly beneath me. I could _feel_ his response on my skin and in my mouth. He was quivering.

My chin rubbed on the top of his pants. I sat up and tried again to lower them out of the way. In a flash of movement, Edward's hands and hips coordinated together helpfully. When my eyes refocused, his khakis were around his ankles. He was playing along finally. I grinned and rubbed my hands on his thighs, working back up.

With my left hand I gently cradled his balls, while I returned my tongue to his penis. I licked him up and down like a popsicle. He was cold like one and he tasted sweet like a popsicle too. Mmm. In my head I was going through different types of frozen desserts, searching for a name for his dick. Edward's thick cock tasted as good as he smelled. I loved it. I lapped at him, like a kitten with milk. I tried to wrap my tongue around his whole shaft but it wouldn't quite make it around. It wasn't for lack of effort. Edward's girth impressed me. It also overwhelmed me. Maybe I had bitten off more than I could chew, metaphorically speaking.

I retreated my tongue into my mouth to warm it back up. I kissed him gently all around his shaft, sucking him in. I risked another glance at Edward's face. He was watching me, one hand gripping his own hair. His face soft, his eyes helpless. My responding grin stretched my lips on his erection. Mmm. It pulsated against my cheek, as if begging me to return.

I turned back to my task, licking my way up to the top. I pressed my lips onto the head of his cock and I lowered myself into it. My mouth open around him.

"Oh." Edward gasped. I felt him grasp the sheets.

Edward's heavy throbbing dick slid down my tongue towards my throat. I almost gagged. _Keep it together, Beau._

Tightening my lips against him, I bobbed up and down on him. I didn't care that my jaw was getting sore. I didn't care that my neck started to hurt. Edward's small gasps of pleasure powered me. Every time I moved down on him, he moaned breathlessly. When I moved back up I felt him shudder.

My tongue danced around his cock while I kept it between my lips. The warm saliva I dripped on him kept him lubricated and kept my teeth from chattering.

I took a moment to breath and relax my jaw for a moment. Spittle that connected my lips to his dick broke down in sections. I was all over him. Evidence that I was worshipping him with my mouth. I grinned, pleased with myself and got back to work, licking and sucking him.

Edward's eyes were closed now. He grasped his head with both hands. His elbows facing up. His jaw tight. Not the way his face was set the first day in biology; but the way your jaw sets when you're getting close to an orgasm. It was a pained/pleasure look. Human even.

I moved my right hand to the base of his shaft and began squeezing him while I kept the other end in my mouth. I coordinated the movements together so that I rubbed my hand up and down his cock while my mouth bobbed on his sensitive head. I gasped into him.

His soft breathless moans, turned into low growls. His body was clenching up. His hips swayed along with my established rhythm. I moaned around him, feeling his pleasure radiate into me. I quickened my pace. His gentle thrusts followed me. The more he moaned, the faster I went. The faster I sucked him, the more he moaned.

I used more pressure. Edward's cock quivered inside me. Between his growls, Edward breathed in short involuntary gasps. Edward's hands moved to his sides and gripped the sheets tightly.

The growls morphed into audible words. "Beau." He murmured. "Beau."

I hummed with delight. Gripping him all the more tighter, I willed my lips to move faster. I could feel his penis thickening under my pressure, preparing. He was about to cum. _Yes, yes, yes._ I wasn't sure what to do when that moment arrived but I didn't think about it. I just had to get him there over the edge. I gagged around him, not able to stop the reaction. His pleasure was mine.

"Beau, Beau, Beau." He panted. I hummed my response deliciously into him, never stopping, never slowing down. My hand was getting tired but I didn't dare rest it. He was so close.

His toes flexed and the sheets got pulled tighter into his fists. I felt so powerful. Edward, once my predator, now begged helplessly for me. I controlled him in this moment. The tables were turned. He was defenseless against me. I had the power here.

"Beau." His voice was ragged and deep. I felt him on the edge of a volcano. His cock was virtually vibrating. My tongue licked at the edges of his crown, while my hands jacked him off.

"Oh Beau. Oh Beau." Then arching backwards, finally, he cried out a guttural sound of pleasure.

His hips pushed up into the orgasm. His hands knocked my chest back and I released my mouth just in time to see white liquid squirt out. He gushed out before me, like an offering. He moaned my name slowly now while I rubbed his shaft a few times more, squeezing him for the last drop.

I stared at his semen. _God, what a sexy sight._ I knew Edward shoved me out of the way so that I wouldn't get surprised at the sudden gush and have to swallow him. But I wanted to taste it. I slyly picked some up with my hand as I let go. Discreetly, I touched his ejaculation to my lips and licked it off. It wasn't what I expected. Everything about him was like sugar, I expected his semen to taste like honey. It didn't. It was almost sour, but not inedible. I could get used to it. Maybe next time. . .

I sat up and gazed back at Edward's face. There was a breathless smile that knocked my socks off. He breathed as heavily and as raggedly as I did.

Patting his chest, Edward signaled me to him. I wiped off my mouth that was glistening with my own spit. My lips felt chapped and sore but I didn't mind. I curled up happily into Edward's chest, drawing circles on his stomach. He kissed the top of my head, affectionately. We laid still for a moment, letting what just happened settle in.

"Wow." He finally murmured after a few minutes of happy silence.

"Wow." I agreed. That was putting it lightly.

He cocked his head to the side, a drunken look in his eye. Yes, he looked intoxicated. "You're incredible."

I just nuzzled further into him.

Cool fingers touched my lips. "Your lips are so red now." His arms wrapped around me and pulled me up higher onto him. "I'm going to kiss you." He warned.

His lips felt soft as they pushed into mine. A deep slow kiss. No urgency in it. Just a pure show of affection. My heart thudded. Our foreheads leaned together and we felt our breaths between us.

A shadow passed on Edward's face, and I could tell something was bothering him.

I guessed what it was. "I'm sorry for coming on to you so suddenly. I know, I know. I wasn't following your lead. I just wanted to prove to you that. . . that I could. . . that we could still be intimate."

Edward's lips pulled up into a one sided grin. "It's not that. I want to. . . I want to follow _your_ lead. . . but I can't."

I nodded and grinned, understanding his frustration. He wanted to give me a blow job. _Oh my god._ "I know. Razor sharp teeth and a pliable organ filled hard with blood don't exactly go together. It's okay. I'm not asking anything in return. I understand." I did truly. I secretly thought about him doing it but pushed the thought away urgently. I had made Edward crumble beneath me. That was enough.

"I'm sorry." He said painfully. "But, maybe. . ." I saw the idea pop into his head like a light bulb.

It all happened so fast. His hand moved down to my boxers. My breath hiked. My dick was still half erect. His fingers dipped into the gap in my boxers and gently wrapped around my cock. I didn't even have time to blush.

"Ah!" I yelped. His hands were so cold. Too cold. Holy crap they were too cold! My penis instantly shriveled down. _Shit. Shit. Shit._

"Oh." Edward withdrew his hand and furrowed his eyebrows. "Oh, Beau, I'm sorry. I didn't think."

I huffed and shivered. This time it _was_ because of the temperature. Talk about a cold shower. Edward's hand had touched me there. Something I had wanted very very much, but now I didn't want it at all. I tried not to let myself get disappointed. After all, I was dating a vampire. There were going to be drawbacks.

"It's okay. I didn't think about it either." I breathed, still shocked.

"I'm sorry." He pulled the covers over me.

"Hey." I smiled up at him. I wasn't disappointed. I felt too victorious for that. My lips were chapped and throbbing, proof that I had conquered Edward. I was better at something than he was, I thought secretly.

"I love you." I nuzzled back into his chest.

"I love you more than you can possibly know." He hummed.

"You know," I began. Perhaps I shouldn't finish and let it drop. But it was too late. I had started the thought and Edward would force it out of me if I gave up. "If I were a vampire, you could touch me. We could do more even."

Edward sighed. He wasn't going to respond because he knew I was right or he didn't want to argue.

"Think about it. We'd be the same." I held his hand as if to showcase the current differences. "We could really be together."

"We are together." Edward responded, but it sounded like he was speaking from a distance.

I nodded. I knew what he meant. He knew what I meant. I didn't want to seem ungrateful.

"That was fun for me." I said truthfully. I wanted him to know that I liked his cock between my lips, even if we were so different.

"That was. . . _fun_ for me too." If Edward could blush it would be now.

* * *

Edward's POV

* * *

I came in through the front door of my house and felt almost like a stranger to it.

Beau had entered into the quiet part of his REM cycle, which gave me time to change clothes. I knew Alice would see that Beau had made it out alive yesterday. She would see that I was strong enough to keep him. The bets they've placed on his life would be settled up by now. She told the family, but they would want to speak to me directly.

I had underestimated Beau. Beau changed me once again. First he had changed me with love. Last night he changed me into a man. I was a some kind of man beforehand, but it was different now. I felt different. I wanted things differently. I never felt so. . . human . . . and that's what decided it for me.

Beforehand, I was prepared to suffer in abstinence. I didn't know what I was missing out on, but Beau. . . Beau had other plans for me. Now I wanted more. Now I wanted the same for Beau. I wanted him to know, to feel what I did. To change like I did last night.

And to do that, Beau would have to change like I did one hundred years ago. I was going to ask Carlisle to do the unspeakable for me.

* * *

 **AN:**

 **;)**

 **\- Rosalie**


	20. Chapter 20: Change of Plan

**Disclaimer: I don't own these characters.**

Chapter 20

Change of Plan

Edward's POV

* * *

- _Woah-_ Jasper thought upon my entrance. He was leaning on the dining room doorway with one eyebrow raised in my direction. _-Did you have sex?-_

"What?" My voice was hollow. How could he have guessed that so quickly?

 _-Edward, you're giving off some major 'I just had sex' vibes.-_

"Oh." I responded nonchalantly. My heart would be racing if it were still beating. I felt high, but more relaxed than I've felt in ages. Was that what Jasper picked up on?

 _-Oh? That's all you've got to say?_ -

I shrugged it off.

"Oh, no, no, no. Explain." He demanded audibly.

Wincing, I noticed more of my family poke their listening ears into our makeshift conversation. Thank god, Carlisle and Esme were busy in their room.

 _-Did you?-_ Jasper continued.

I sighed and turned my palms up in a "maybe" sort of gesture. He envisioned it then, trying to picture what "maybe" having sex with a human would look like for me.

"Oh, please." I rolled my eyes.

"What's this?" Alice leaped from the stairwell into the living room. Great.

"I think Eddie's had sex." Jasper whispered low into her ear, so that only she (and I) could hear.

With movements like a ballerina, Alice twirled over and sniffed me. _-Oh that's Beau's saliva and vampire semen alright.-_ Alice starting giggling. I hadn't been able to wash away the act yet. Curse vampire's heightened sense of smell. There really were no secrets in this household. Well, not anymore.

"Beau did it!" She spun around in circles joyfully. "Go Beau!" She shouted with her arms held high. "Go Beau!"

Jasper narrowed his eyes and eyed me over, completely mystified. _-How?_ -

I couldn't help it. My crooked smile spread . I was proud of Beau. My incredible surprising sexy Beau. He made me cum. He made me feel things I've never known before. For the first time in my existence, I was glad that this day would never end for me.

Jasper chuckled and shook his head. _-Wow, he's happy.-_ The thought was a spontaneous one.

I nodded. "I am. I really am."

Jasper smiled. He was eating up the energy I put out.

Just then, Emmett marched in. "So Beau's alive, huh?" Emmett always said what he was thinking, so there was no point in seeking out his thoughts.

"Yes. Beau is alive." I answered slowly. It seemed like another life when I was worried about my bloodlust taking over. It wasn't _blood_ lust that I had to be concerned about now.

"Man. I lost my bet, but that's cool. I'm glad you did it."

"Oh, that's not the only thing he did." Alice gushed unapologetically.

"Alice." I threatened. I tried to stare her down into silence.

"What?" Emmett glanced between us. "What else did he do?"

"Smell him." Alice giggled again.

I growled, "Alice." She was going to pay. I would find a way to get back at her.

Emmett inhaled, sensing all of my sexual engagements, and sized me up. He paused and crossed his arms.

"That kid is fucking crazy." He barked out in laughter. "He's insane. Oh my god, he gave you a blow job? That's hilarious. What a riot." He grabbed me in a playful choke hold and roughly dug his hand into my hair like big brothers do. When he let me go he slapped my back and kept laughing.

"Rose." Emmett called out to the garage. "You won't believe this. Beau gave our dear old brother a blow job. Can you believe that? A human. Oh my god. I'm dying. That kid is fearless."

I was imagining the horror on Beau's face if he found out that my entire family knew of our escapades. He would figuratively die. The blush would overwhelm his face and neck. He might even faint. That made me feel better, imagining how embarrassed he would be.

Rosalie appeared with a smug smile. "Edward got some action? No way. Not Edward the 120 year old virgin."

"Okay. That's enough." I hissed and shrugged uncomfortably. My smile gone now. "I'll be back down in a few minutes. Get your jokes out now. I'm calling a family meeting." I ran up to my room and took a shower.

I stared at myself in the mirror. My full unclothed body reflecting back to me didn't look different. My appearance hadn't changed in 100 years or so. Lean muscles flexed across my back and shoulders. I stretched my arm above my head, inspecting how my skin moved across my muscles. My pale skin pulled tight, emphasizing the ridge on either side of my abs that lead down to my loins. Two decades ago, I had shaved off my pubic hair, out of boredom, and they never grew back. I wondered if perhaps I should have kept them, if Beau would have liked it. I sighed. There was nothing I could do about it now. Hair doesn't grow back when you're a vampire. I liked the smoothness of it though.

I glided my hand over my dick in the shower, remembering the way Beau moved around it earlier. My dick between his teeth, his tongue swirling around me. His touch burned so hot it was uncomfortable, but I got used to it. The fire of his tongue gave me more pleasure than pain. The two worked together in ways I couldn't have imagined.

Beau. I sighed. I never masturbated before. It wasn't something I ever thought about. I had always been more consumed with the urge for blood than that. Always distracting myself. Beau had awakened ancient feelings in me. I wanted more. I wanted more of Beau.

I had the idea for an experiment. To see how different it would feel if, for instance, instead of Beau's hot human hands rubbed me . . . how it would compare to a vampire's hands. If it would still feel as good.

I shrugged. I didn't have time. Not now. My family was waiting downstairs and they were already annoying me with jokes about my sexual experiences, or lack thereof. I didn't want to add more fuel to the flame. I turned off the room temperature water.

After I dried off and I dressed in a flannel button down and jeans. I was going for a more casual look. Inside I was freaking out.

"Hey." I greeted to my family and plopped down next to Alice and Carlisle on the couch. "So, Beau's alive." I started. "Which, you all knew of course."

Esme beamed in support. - _Good job, Edward. I'm so proud.-_

Oh, mom.

"What happened in woods?" Carlisle asked. He thought about the trials he put himself through to get tolerant enough to blood. He was mapping out his scientific method.

"It was very difficult, of course. I made a lot of mistakes, but I caught myself. There was a good hour when I thought I wouldn't be able to control it. I thought I was going to give in. His heart was right under my teeth." The memory of it seemed so far away. I could speak plainly about it now. "It was excruciating. Without doubt, the hardest thing I've ever done."

"What made you stop?" Carlisle's eyes raised. He knew the temptations.

"I love him." My voice answered softly. My resolve solidifying as I said it. "I love him."

I leaned back into the cushions. Alice was oddly quiet, she was focusing on the ever changing future.

"So what does this mean for you and Beau?" Esme asked. She was concerned. She knew how much I had rebuked the idea of our life for Beau. "You aren't going to try to leave him, are you? You're not going to try to protect him by staying away?"

I shook my head at the thought. How absurd. "No. No, I'm staying. I need him too much." I heard her relief ringing in my head.

Alice finally found the crux. The decision I made. I knew what she would foretell now.

"What is it?" I asked her quietly even though I already knew the answer.

We both saw the vision happen at the same time. A black picture filling in with color.

 _-You've changed your mind.-_ She gasped, trying to contain her "I told you so" attitude.

"Yes." I breathed.

Before my family could ask there was another matter I had to attend to first.

"There is, however, a different problem." I stated. "The Quileute believers have found out that I'm dating a human. Ephraim's granddaughter, Bonnie accosted Beau last night. She tried to get him to break up with me. She tried to warn him."

Emmett and Jasper stirred at the news.

"She's bound by the treaty, if she believes in it. Their suspicions can't leave their mouths." Rosalie reminded everyone.

I nodded. "It's not suspicions, though. She knows. She knows exactly what we are."

Their thoughts were an uneasy barrage.

"How?"

"I don't know know." I shrugged. "She isn't a shapeshifter though. I know that much."

They settled back down, but they were still worried.

Jasper and Carlisle outlined a plan, just in case. It was very possible that someone in La Push could spread rumors. We've left an area for less before. If someone who didn't believe in the treaty spread the rumor that we were vampires, we needed to be ready to evacuate. Rosalie scowled at the thought of leaving so soon.

"I'll speak with my lawyer and prepare new ID's for everybody to have in case of emergency." Jasper spoke. Ah yes, Jasper's poor lawyer. For nearly 50 years, he's used the same firm to obtain our needed documentation to live within society. After Jasper's first lawyer retired, ten years ago, the new one was briefed about my family's needs and what not to notice. He's had nightmare's ever since.

I bit my lower lip, mulling something over. If my family had to leave. . . If I had to leave. . .

"That's a good idea," I said evenly. "Jasper, will you make IDs for Beau as well?"

Six pairs of eyes focused on me curiously.

"If we leave, Beau comes with me." I stated firmly. "That is, if Beau wants to. It's his decision ultimately. But I'd like to be ready."

Jasper nodded rationally. "Of course." _-Should I also prepare materials in case we need to make an accident?-_

I winced. Jasper caught on quick. He was asking if we needed to get ready to stage Beau's death.

"Just in case. I want to be ready for anything." I nodded weakly.

 _-I'll need hair samples. A recent picture. It would be good if we had blood samples for the scene too. Perhaps Carlisle. . . -_

I gulped and furrowed my eyebrows. "Yes. I'll get them for you." The sudden feeling of how real this decision I had made hit me like a punch to the gut. Would Beau hate me for this? His dad. His mom. He would never see them again. I had to steady my breathing. This wasn't happening now, I reminded myself. This was just in preparation.

I felt Jasper calm me with his special gift. Bless him.

"Okay, want to include everyone in on the convo?" Emmett asked ticked off that he was behind.

I took a deep breath.

 _-What does this mean?-_ Three thoughts asked in unison.

"I thought that I could keep Beau human." I started to explain. "Yesterday I proved that I could. However, as I've come to realize, that is a short sighted goal. A goal too hard and perhaps needless to maintain. Too many things could go wrong. I was being stubborn when I vowed to keep him human at all costs. Keeping him human is not my priority anymore."

Esme and Rosalie gasped.

"Carlisle," I started. I imagined saying the next words, but they got stuck in my throat. This was harder than I had anticipated. My selfishness, my weakness driving me to this conclusion. They would see my true colors. I wasn't the upright hero they thought me to be.

Alice helped me by replaying the vision of this moment. I already had the script.

I cleared my throat, and stared at the floor. I could not bring myself to look anyone in the eye. "Carlisle, you know me better than anyone. You know how I feel about our existence." Send me to hell. "I never imagined I could feel so strongly about anyone to ask this of you. I couldn't have prepared myself for how I feel about Beau. I understood your motivations for creating me and Esme. I understood your reasons for Rosalie, and Rosalie's plea for Emmett. I understood. Or at least, I thought I understood. I do now." I breathed and finally looked into Carlisle's caramel eyes. My next words came hurried. "Carlisle, I'm asking for a favor. You're my best friend. You changed me because you longed for companionship, but I spent one hundred years alone. Carlisle, I want Beau by my side forever. Will you change him? Will you change Beau for me?"

The room froze. Seven perfect beautiful sculptures in the early morning.

Carlisle guarded his thoughts. With kind eyes, he nodded slowly. "I will." He spoke as if making a solemn vow.

I breathed deep, my chest burst with both shame and elation at the same time. Oh, Beau.

"However," Carlisle continued sagely. "I think Beau needs to be a part of this conversation."

"Yes, of course." I agreed immediately. "How foolish of me. We'll finish this later with Beau."

Alice squeezed my hand. I was touched that she was keeping her absolute joy to herself and not rubbing it in my face. She knew this was hard for me.

We both knew it was for the best.

"Speaking of whom," Alice smiled. "He's about to wake up soon. If you're not there, he's going to be very upset." I saw the fading vision of Beau alone in his bed, his head down and his lips frowning. Another vision came through, one where Beau woke with a start but grinned when he saw me in the corner.

I stood up. "Well, I should get going then. Is Charlie at home?"

"He'll be gone by the time you get there. Early fishing again."

I nodded. "Good." A smile crept on my face.

I turned towards Carlisle. We shook hands like fathers and sons do after a serious conversation.

Esme hugged me and kissed my cheek. "It'll be okay." She assured me in my ear. "I'm so happy for you."

To her mind, I had asked her Carlisle's blessing in performing a marriage. I guess it was like that in a sort of way. He would join our family permanently once he changed. Like a marriage, but not a happy or carefree affair.

My insides squirmed at the thought of marriage, like a little girl. It would be down the road of course, but I wanted that too. Both of us in tux's. Alice by his side. Carlisle by mine. A preacher in the middle. That was a happy thought. I wanted to giggle, feeling a sudden wave of giddiness. It almost masked the unspeakable thing I had asked Carlisle to do. Ten years ago, and the thought of getting married would have been impossible legally. I had waited 100 years, but it was still the right timing.

I was getting ahead of myself. Beau was just 17 after all. A real 17 unlike me.

Rosalie was quietly seething. She liked Beau, sure, but she thought I was horrible for wanting to change him when he had another choice. I couldn't blame her. I actually agreed with her. I was horrible.

Jasper and I nodded at each other knowingly. _-Don't forget the picture and hair.-_

Emmett made an inappropriate joke as I left. I rolled my eyes and launched off the porch. I had dropped my car off near the hospital last night after I left Beau to Bonnie's clutches. I picked it up and drove it the Swan residence.

Now, for the real tricky part. How do you ask your boyfriend if he is serious on giving up his humanity and becoming a monster just like you are?

* * *

 **AN: Going off course now. What do you think about Edward's change of mind?**

 **Thank you for reading and reviewing! It makes me happy.**

 **Question: What were your expectations of this story when you started reading it and how does that compare to how you see this story now? For curiosities sake. You'll get an invisible cookie for answering.**

 **Thanks again for reading!**

 **\- Rosalie**


	21. Chapter 21: Biscuits and Jelly

**Disclaimer: I Don't Own Any of These Characters**

Chapter 21

Biscuits and Jelly

Beau's POV

* * *

I was half expecting to have another sex dream. Honestly, I hoped I would, really. I had some pent up energy, you could say. Instead, I had my usual dream but worse. Cast in black, chasing after Edward, but something was different. A wrinkled tan hand pulled at me. The blackness started to define into a forest. Someone was trying to hold me back. An old familiar voice croaked out. "You can't follow after him." Bonnie's voice. I wanted to scream in her face to let me go.

When I turned, I didn't see Bonnie's rough wrinkled face framed by braided grey hair. I saw Jules. Her deep brown eyes looked too old on her young face. "Run." She yelled. "You have to get away. They're coming." Howls echoed around me. Jules started shaking, my dream getting fuzzy. "Run!" I turned to see a large black wolf snapping at Edward. It's teeth were gnashed together in a vicious snarl. The wolf reared its head back, about to attack.

"No!" I screamed and jumped in between the wolf and Edward.

I woke with a start. "Oh." I had trouble remembering what I was dreaming about. Something about wolves? I guess that made sense. We did discuss that last night, but there were more important things that happened.

I looked around me. "Edward?" I spied him in the corner. He was momentarily brooding but when I smiled, his face softened.

"Good morning, Beau." His voice dripped with humor.

"Hi." I breathed. God he was beautiful. His hair was slightly damp, making it look browner than usual. He looked so comfortable and relaxed. I got out of the bed. I wanted to run to him but I made myself move slowly. I kneeled in front of him and crossed my arms over his knees. With my cheek resting on my arms I sighed. "I like waking up with you here. Did you leave?" I eyed his jeans and plaid shirt.

"Well, I couldn't exactly leave this morning wearing the same clothes I wore last night. What on earth would the neighbors think?."

I laughed. "Yes, what a scandal." I murmured and moved my arms up his thighs and under his shirt, twirling a finger on his stomach. I withdrew when Edward took a shaky breath. I laughed again. "What did you want to do today?"

"So, I've been thinking." Edward started. His eyes and the tone in his voice were guarded. He opened his mouth but closed it again. "Are you hungry?" He ducked out of what he really wanted to ask.

"Um, a little."

"Let's get you some breakfast."

"Okay, I'm gonna need to go to the store though." I said sheepishly. I had been so busy with the drama of dating a vampire, I hadn't been to the store in two weeks.

We stood in the grocery aisle together. The fluorescent lights made us both look more pale than usual. He of course still pulled off the lighting. I, however, looked sick.

Edward's nose crinkled up. "There's a lot of weird smells in here. Does that not bother you?"

I shook my head and laughed. "It smells like boxed foods and cleaning equipment."

"Hmpf." He huffed and shrugged his shoulders.

Once I had all the food items, I went to get some toilet paper and more dish detergent. I turned around and saw Edward had hung back, looking at something on the shelves.

"What's that?" I sidled up to him. I followed his gaze. He was looking at the KY warming jelly.

"Huh." I bit my lip, keeping in a fit of giggles. Silently, Edward grabbed it and put it in the cart. We didn't talk about it as we made our way to the checkout counter.

To my chagrin Mikayla was manning the cash register.

"Hey, girl. How was the dance last night?" I greeted warmly.

"It was fine. Jeremy and I had fun until he and my brother got in a fight."

"Sounds exciting." It did actually. I tried to picture Mike and Jeremy in a scuff. How very highschool of them.

"What did you do?" She smiled at me and her eyes darted at Edward quickly before she started ringing up the items.

"Oh, just did some laundry." I held my tongue when she rung out Edward's sexy time jelly. Her face was boiling red as she tried to keep a professional exterior. We finished the transaction wordlessly.

Once the store doors closed behind us, I burst out into uncontrollable laughter. I had held it in too long. Edward chuckled with me and we drove back to my place, in a silent agreement to not mention the KY warming jelly by name.

While listening to the radio and dancing along, I made a bacon, egg, and cheese biscuit. Edward watched me curiously as I cooked. I tried to cook with flair but ended up tripping on a piece of rogue bacon. Edward caught me.

"Thanks." I breathed.

"Anytime. Cooking seems dangerous. There's so many ways to hurt yourself."

"Well, I'm normally not so haphazard. I've been trying to entertain you."

"It's making me nervous." Edward admitted.

I rolled my eyes. "Fine. I'll finish up with no panache." I turned off the music and slumped back to the stove. Exaggerating my slow movements, I finished up scrambling the eggs.

"Much better." Edward smiled amusedly.

"Is it dangerous for you?" I asked mildly curiously. "How you hunt?"

"As in could there be physical harm?"

"Yeah."

He eyed me, as if wondering if I were ready to hear the answer. "Not even a little bit. Hunting is as dangerous to me as you eating last night's lasagna. "

I nodded thinking about his indestructibility. "That must be nice." I mused.

He cocked his head to the side. "Why?"

"You're bullet proof. You don't have to worry about getting hurt. You don't have to worry about not surviving. That's nice. I could break my neck just trying to get out the front door." I said while over seasoning my eggs with too much salt.

Edward brooded.

"So what's it like to hunt?" I asked, taking a bite of my assembled breakfast biscuit. "Do you stalk your prey like an animal? Like, what level of monster are we talking about here? Is it gross?"

Edward took a deep breath, deciding where to start and what question to answer first. "It's a very natural process. The instinct kicks in and takes over. Emmett's favorite is bear. I like mountain lion. There's mostly just lots of deer though. I'm pretty clean about it, so it's not as gross as it used to be."

"Hmm." I wanted to see him hunt. I wanted to see him lose himself and attack. I knew I couldn't though. Not as I was, not as a human. He would never allow it. "I'd like to see that someday." I said slowly, just voicing my thoughts before he could ask for them. "Listen, I know you don't want to talk about it, and I know you don't want me to lose my humanity, but I want you to know that as long as I have you, I don't care what else happens."

Edward smiled softly. "Beau."

"I get it, you know. Maybe I'll be different as a vampire. You like how warm I am and maybe you won't like me when I'm not. And I get that. And if that's what you're worried about-if you don't think I'll be the same person, I understand that, but then what are we doing?"

"Beau." Edward stepped forward.

"All I'm saying is if you don't want to change me because you think you'd be forcing something I don't understand, you're wrong. I get it. I'd be a monster, sure, I'd want to kill people, sure, I could never see my family, sure. But I'd be with you."

"Beau." Edward crept forward.

I knew he was about to hush me up so I spoke faster. "I never fit in with other people, Edward. I never felt right there. But it feels right when I'm with you. I want it. I want to be your equal. You're incredible. You're not a villain. You're funny and kind and I love you even though you're not human. Which means, that maybe I can be loveable too. And if there are things I don't understand then tell me. Because I want to be with you forever-"

Edward's lips crashed into mine and I clutched at him automatically. His hands tangled into my hair. I felt his tongue ask for entrance against my lips and I excitedly parted mine. We moved together, wrapping and readjusting our lips on each other. Edward's tongue groped around my own. I had to focus very hard on my breathing. This was the closest and least careful Edward had been with me and he tried to give me a hand job last night. Despite how wonderfully delightful I found it, I could tell his movements were very thought out.

I pulled away to breath. Edward kept his hands on my face while he smirked.

"Beau, I need to tell you something. Last night you made me feel things I never had before."

I squirmed remembering it like it was a dream. _I made him cum._

"I never thought I could feel so human before. I was afraid of taking that away from you. I was afraid of making you into something that I hated about myself. But, if I can feel how you made me feel last night, then perhaps this life isn't the sacrifice I had made it out to be. It's horrible, but I want to share that with you. Forever."

My jaw dropped.

"Last night, I changed my mind when you changed me last night. You were right. If you were like me. . . we could be together. Fully together. I want you in many different. . . ways." _I would have finished in that sentence with 'positions,' but that works too._ "I wish I could be human for you, but I can't. However, I can make you a vampire like me."

My heart started racing. What wait? Me. . . a vampire. Is this happening?

"Well, I couldn't change you myself. I would kill you if I tried, but I talked to Carlisle last night and he agreed to help but he wants to speak with you. You need to be part of the conversation."

I couldn't find the air to breath. Was this real? He had already talked to his father about me. He was serious. Holy shit.

Edward took my shaky breathing as doubt. "You can always change your mind, Beau. I just asked Carlisle, just in case. You can always back out. You always have a choice. There's a lot to consider and I would never force this on you. We don't have to talk about it now. I just wanted you to know where I stood on the matter."

I laid my hand on top of his and moved it to my lips to kiss. "Let's talk to Carlisle."

My hands were shaking as Edward knocked on the door to Carlisle's study. I balled them into fists and stuck them in my pocket, but I knew that wouldn't hide my nervousness. Not around this family.

The house was empty when we arrived and I thanked god for that. I didn't have strength for small talk right now. Edward held my arm in his as we ascended up the stairs. He whispered to me, "Would you like to see my room after this?"

I nodded. He was giving me something to look forward to. I grew a little more confident. There would be an "after" and I wasn't going to combust into smoke in the next five minutes.

I breathed in, the last knock vibrating off the door.

"Come in." Carlisle answered on the other side of the door.

* * *

 **AN: Short chapter. I should probably be better at staggering updates. I'm sure my followers are getting overwhelmed but I'm impatient when I have chapters I'm just sitting on.**

 **Thanks for reading. Thank you to everyone who answered last chapters question. I asked what your expections were when you started reading this story and what you think about it at this point. I appreciate the insight. Invisible cookies for all.**

 **-Rosalie**


	22. Chapter 22: Matt Damon

**Disclaimer: I don't own this shit.**

Chapter 22:

Matt Damon

Beau's POV

* * *

"Good to see you, Beau." The young doctor stood up and shook my hand. I understood why Esme wanted to spend more time at the hospital. She was swatting off suitors.

"Hey." I grinned, feeling my unease melt slightly.

"I assume Edward has informed you why I wanted to speak with you." Carlisle began, his face tender and compassionate, not at all heavy like I expected it would be.

"Yes." I breathed. Edward held on to me.

 _We would go to his room after this. I'm not going to combust._ I chanted in my head.

"Carlisle, I thought perhaps it would be a good idea if you started with your history. Where we came from, so to speak. I want Beau to know as much as possible about our family."

The tension relaxed as Carlisle told me his story of how he was formed, his time with the Volturi, and his journey West. Each story had a corresponding picture on his wall. I listening and looked on amazed.

"Finally I felt confident enough to get my first certificate in Medicine." He pointed to a weathered piece of paper with elaborate script. There was a long line of degrees that followed. "This one though." He pointed to an old medical license for the state of Illinois. "I was working nights at a hospital in Chicago during the Spanish influenza. There were so many sick. The medical workers were susceptible to it, but I wasn't. I felt called there. One night, I was tending to a dying woman. Her husband had just passed away beside her. She looked at me with a fire in her brilliant green eyes." I felt Edward's hand stiffen around mine, as if in reaction. "She begged me to save her son. To save her son in a way no one else could. To keep him alive in the way only I could. It was her dying wish."

I understood now. The woman was talking about saving Edward. I gripped him tighter. His face was unreadable.

"Edward Anthony Masen, 17. Only son and heir to Masen's estate and in two days he would have followed his parents into the grave. His fever was worsening. If I was going to do it, I had to act quickly." I held my breath on the edge of my seat. I knew it worked out. Edward was after all sitting next to me, but still I was anxious. "I had never bitten a human before. I wasn't sure of the best way to complete the transformation. Our saliva is a type of venom. All of our body fluid is based around it. When we hunt, it stuns our prey and loosens the blood so it is more easily pulled through and drunk. When we bite, a frenzy begins at the taste of blood and we cannot stop. However, it is possible. The venom, left to its own devices, will then begin a transformation process in the body as long as the heart is still beating. When my shift ended in the early morning, I kidnapped Edward from the hospital. He was too delirious in his sickness. There were so many dead and dying, no one would notice a missing body. I wrestled with it for hours. How could I create another creature like me? I reasoned with myself that if I did nothing he was going to die. Nothing else I could do was going to save him. He had no family left. That's what I told myself. I was a doctor after all and I couldn't save him any other way. I came to Chicago to make a difference, but the dead were burying the dead. His mother's green eyes haunted me. He had green eyes too, just like his mother's." I forced myself to keep looking at Carlisle and not look back at Edward. Force myself to not look at his eyes. I knew they would be honey colored. I knew they would be hiding a sadness. "I bit him then and waited." Carlisle said darkly. "I held him while he screamed."

I furrowed my eyebrows. _Screaming?_

Edward broke out of his stillness then, as if from a trance. "The transformation is an extremely painful process." He answered my wordless question.

"That's putting it lightly." Carlisle quantified. "On average, it takes about three days for the venom to work its way through the body and back to the heart. It's unbearable pain. Humanely unbearable. It would cause a normal patient to die from the stress alone, but the venom keeps you alive."

Three days full of pain.

"I thought at first, it was part of the illness." Edward continued Carlisle's story from his point of view. "I was already burning up with the disease, it took a while for me to realize that the venom's fire was something different. I thought I was dying. Then I thought I was already dead and I was in hell. I wanted to sleep but the pain kept me awake. And I never slept again."

I shivered involuntarily. "When my heart stopped beating, I heard Carlisle's thoughts before he spoke. I was already accustomed to his voice. He was speaking to me during the transition. I could just barely listen to him through the pain. When I 'awoke', it was like meeting an old friend. Then the hunger set it. It was a different kind of pain. It overtook my every thought. I craved blood, obsessively. A newborn vampire is hard to control. The desires are wild and temperamental. Carlisle helped me. He was quite literally the voice inside my head. I had an easier time because of it, but still, I was a handful for Carlisle. I couldn't be left alone for about ten months. The first year is always the hardest. I slowly had gained control over what I had become. We went through the same thing with Esme soon after that. Now, she was trouble." Edward and Carlisle chuckled at some inside joke.

"Not as much trouble as Emmett." Carlisle grinned.

"Emmett was unstoppable as a newborn. Newborns are physically stronger, and Emmett is the strongest vampire I've ever met. So he was a nightmare to deal with during his newborn stage. The only one he listened to was Rose. He tried hard for her."

 _I'll try hard for you, Edward._ I bit my lips and tried to process everything. The bite, the pain, three days, bloodlust, forgetting human memories, the Volturi, the rules, no proper goodbyes, uncontrollable hunger, newborn, trouble.

They turned back to me. "I wanted you to hear all this," Edward said softly. "Because you need to know. You've said before how easier it will be if we're the same. And in some cases it would, but it's a hard road, Beau."

"Yeah, it's a lot." I nodded and took a deep breath. I felt like I hadn't been breathing for several minutes. The oxygen felt good.

Edward and Carlisle shared a glance.

Carlisle leaned forward. "You don't have to decide anything. You should take some time. There are a lot of things to consider. Your family, for instance."

"I want to be a vampire." I said as firmly as possible, so there could be no mistaking my intentions.

"Beau, you need to think about it." Edward furrowed his eyebrows.

"Okay. Fine, I will." I humored him. "So, let's think in hypotheticals for now." I turned to Carlisle. "Hypothetically, if you changed me, I would never see Charlie or my mom again."

He nodded. "Never. For one, the instinct to kill would traumatize you and jeopardize their lives. If you somehow didn't kill them, they would recognize you, but you're transformation would startle them and give us away. It's our only rule, not to reveal ourselves. We've left our settlements before when there were only rumors that we weren't human. If your parents ever saw you after your transformation, they would know something was wrong. They would know you weren't the same." I was prepared for that answer. I didn't let it phase me.

"So what would we do? Would I just disappear? What about you guys? If you left town when I went missing, that wouldn't be good for you. They would question you."

"Yes, well, it depends on the timing of your change, I suppose." Carlie nodded. "If for instance, we waited until you graduated high school, we could stagger leaving. You would have a natural goodbye from the town and so would we."

I grimaced. What's the point in graduating high school? I'd just be growing older and keeping up appearances. I would rather this happen sooner than later, not next year. _Next year?_ I would older than Edward.

"You could just disappear one day, but that would leave too many unknowns. It would be horrible for your family never knowing where you were, if maybe one day you'd come back." Carlisle looked at his hands with his brow furrowed. "Hypothetically, when we change you, we would stage your death. Make it look like some kind of travel accident. That way your family could say goodbyes and have a bit of closure."

I nodded. "Yes, good. Would I be the first one of you to leave family behind?" I asked curiously.

"No. Rosalie had siblings and parents. Emmett had brothers." Edward informed me.

"But none of them chose this life." I said slowly, guessing at something. "None of you were in the position that I am."

"Yes, Beau." Edward smiled sadly. "This is a unique situation. Carlisle's also never changed someone that wasn't dying." He eyed his father with an eyebrow raised. "Would this go against your moral code, Carlisle?"

"This is Beau's decision." Carlisle started with a deep inhale. "But I think that ultimately, this would be best for our family as a whole in the long run. I would do anything for our family's well being and I would do anything for you, Edward. Beau is part of our family."

I turned to Edward. "This is also your decision too, Edward. If I'm a vampire, there's no getting rid of me. I'm stuck with you for the long haul. So you better be sure you know what _you're_ getting into."

They chuckled but I wasn't joking.

"I'm being serious. What if you get tired of me or something?"

Edward rolled his eyes and grabbed my hand to his lips. "Beau, you're absurd. When vampires find a mate, that's an eternal bond stronger than human emotions can fathom."

Now I rolled my eyes. "Okay, okay. This isn't a contest and I _can_ fathom it."

I turned back to Carlisle. "I don't think I can keep lying to Charlie for another year and a half. There are a lot of secrets and as someone I love once said, I'm a terrible actor. I would give the game up before I was even playing."

Carlisle brought his palms together on his chin in thought. "That is something to consider."

Edward shifted. "There are lots to consider. Beau, why don't we take a break for a moment?"

I kept my eye on Carlisle. "This summer, after the school year ends. We can say Edward and I were taking a trip somewhere and we both died in a car accident. That way he can stay with me and the rest of you can lie low until it's time for you to leave without drawing suspicion."

Carlisle nodded. "Hypothetically, that's a good plan."

"What about realistically?" I asked while turning to see Edward's face, cast in pain. "What?"

He didn't say anything. But the shadow on his face worsened. Wordlessly, he stood up and walked out of the study.

"What?" I turned to Carlisle. He shrugged.

Edward came back in then, a hand on his temple. "Okay," He breathed. "I apologize. This is just very difficult for me to process and I'm not sure how your handling it so well." He gestured at me.

I wrapped my arms around him. "It'll be okay."

His laugh was mocking. "You're the one comforting me? How messed up is that. Beau, we're talking about destroying your life like a business deal. I hate this. This is wrong. You should be able to live a normal life. Grow up and have a family. This isn't right."

He sounded like Bonnie.

"Edward, I'm dying." I blurted out.

"What?" Edward froze. "What do you mean?"

"I'm dying. Every day I get closer. I'm going to have to say goodbye to my parents eventually too. I never really had friends anyway. It's not like I was every going to have a nuclear family. I can't have children, Edward. But I can have you. I'm not normal, Edward. What makes you think, I'd be okay to live a normal life? This-" I grabbed his shirt. "You are my life now. So what? I'm in a shit amount pain while I change, but that will end. I'll be trouble for awhile, but I'll get over it. I just want you, Edward. I just want you." I almost brought up the fact that we could properly have sex, but not in front of Carlisle.

I turned back to face him. "This summer then. You'll change me this summer?"

Carlisle nodded. "Yes."

Edward's face was straining. I could almost read the mixed emotions off of him like a newspaper. "Yes." He nodded solemnly.

"Yes from me too!" Alice swung the door open. "Hey, he's my best friend. Just wanted to add my two cents." She explained to Carlisle's look of judgement for intruding in on the discussion.

I laughed. "Okay. Well, okay. So, that's settled." I sighed in relief.

Edward and Alice stared at each other. Edward nodded. There must have been a conversation between them.

"Oh, hey. We should take a picture." Alice pulled out a camera from her back pocket. "It might be a good idea to have proof that you and _you-_ " She eyed Edward. _"_ -agreed to this."

"Beau can always change his mind." Edward said through clenched teeth.

"Yeah, but he won't." Alice tapped her temple. "Besides, Jasper's leaving soon for Seattle."

I tilted my head. "What does Jasper leaving for Seattle have to do with me taking a picture?" I felt like I was missing something. Was this how everyone else felt around them?

Alice guided me to the wall. "Say cheese." Flash.

Uh, what? Excuse me?

"Jasper is going to make a fake ID for you in case we need to leave town and start new lives."

"Oh." I breathed. They had a system already in place. New IDs. New Life. New Beau. New family. "So, like in those movies with the criminals and they have different passports?"

"Yup. Just like that." Alice hooked the camera up to Carlisle's computer to print the picture out.

"Oh my god, that's so cool. It's like being a spy. I'm gonna be Matt Damon." My eyes brightened and I grinned back at Edward. This was obviously the coolest thing that has ever happened to me. I was getting a fake ID, and not just like the dumb people back at my old school did to buy alcohol. This was a whole new identity. Holy shit.

"Whose Matt Damon?" Edward raised his eyebrows.

"Bourne Identity? Only the best espionage thriller saga ever. Matt Damon, you know. No? Nothing? Wow. Okay, next movie marathon then. I'm calling it." I looked back at Alice and nearly bounced with excitement. "It'll have to be a different name right? I won't be Beau Swan?" My dreams of being in witness protection were sort of coming true.

Alice giggled and Carlisle chuckled. Edward just stared at me, trying to read my mind again. His face puckered in that tell tale frustration.

"Sorry, this is just like, really cool."

"Would you like to pick your new name?" Alice grinned. "It can be whatever you want."

"Oh my god." I practically squealed. "Yes. Do you know how much I hate the name Beaufort?" It's not that I don't like my nick name 'Beau.' It's just Beaufort is a ridiculous name. Whenever people said my full name, they always pronounced it like 'bow-foot' which is not something you want to be called. Even Beauregard would be better, more dignified sounding coming out of someone's mouth.

Fresh start. New me. New Family. New name.

"No!" Edward shouted, instantly standing between me and Alice as if blocking a physical throw. "But you're Beau. You're my Beau. My Beau." I turned to look at his heart broken face. God, Edward was breathtaking, even when he looked like a fallen angel. Especially then.

I knew instantly what I wanted the name to be. My heart fluttered. Smiling to myself, I wrote down the name on a sticky note on Carlisle's desk. A compromise. I would still be Edward's 'Beau.' I had to promise him that I would remain 'Beau.' I covered the name with my hand to make sure no one could see and then folded the paper up and handed it to Alice.

A few minutes later Alice handed the note and the picture to Jasper, who would take it to "his guy" in Seattle. I spent the morning and better part of the afternoon talking about vampires, but this was the coolest thing that I'd ever done. This was some next level shit. What else did this family do?

Later, on Edward's couch with him in my arms, in a quiet moment, I would imagine seeing the words stamped on official (looking) plastic. It felt right. It felt like pieces were finally coming together to make the whole picture. New name. New family. New life. Now that I knew what I wanted, it couldn't come fast enough. I imagined staring at my picture with my new identity underneath.

The ID might be fake, but the new life it symbolized would be very real.

* * *

 **AN: Guess the name he gave to Jasper in a review and if you're right, you get an invisible trophy. Extra points if you can guess his full name.**

 **Hint: It's not Matt Damon. (But, honestly, that might be some dumb crap Beau would pull later down the road. [Can I have my own head cannon for a fanfic story I invented?])**

 **Thanks for reading!**

 **-Rosalie**

 _p.s. I'm almost done writing this story. And I'm feeling very weepy about ending it. I truly loved writing this. I basically ate, slept, and breathed it for a month and now that I'm almost done, and it's gonna be hard to say good bye to these boys. Thank you for keeping me going._

 _I have a few stories in the works but nothing quite as expansive as this one._


	23. Chapter 23: Showers and Thunder (M)

**Disclaimer: I don't own these characters.**

Chapter 23: (MA)

Showers and Thunder

Beau's POV

* * *

"The rest of the family is off to play baseball. I would ask if you'd want to come and watch but Alice has seen other vampires coming this evening." Edward said while changing out a record on his player. The jazz music that now played sounded as if the brass band were playing live. "You shouldn't be anywhere near them. That would be a disaster." He shuddered. I could only imagine what sort of vision Alice had seen of _that_ future.

"Other vampires?" I blinked and sat up from my horizontal position on his couch.

The afternoon passed by blissfully. We had listened to Edward's vast music collection for the better part of the afternoon. Edward kept asking me what name I had given Alice but I kept changing the subject to his dismay.

I had called Charlie to let him know where I was tonight and to not expect dinner. He seemed. . . happy on the phone. Like he was glad that I had a reason to stay in Forks. I tried not to think about how wrong he was. Edward was the reason I had to leave.

"Alright, well have fun fishing." I wrapped up my conversation with Charlie. Edward was distracting me by rubbing his nose up and down my arm.

"Love you, Beau."

"Love you too, Dad." We never really made declaration statements like that. It felt weird but nice all the same.

Flash. Edward had taken a surprise picture of me.

Edward had Alice's camera and shoved the lens in my face. I had made a joke about Edward not showing up on the film and then the next hour we spent trying to take bad pictures of each other and recreating dumb scenes. After our silly selfie session we just laid together on his couch and listened to music in silence. He had just broken the silence a moment ago. I could spend every day like this for 100 years.

"Yes, most vampires are nomads, wandering around homeless. Some will be intrigued by our way of life and want to know more. It happens." Edward shrugged.

"And if I got close that would be bad?"

Edward nodded darkly. "Vampires don't keep human company. Especially human company that smells so delicious." He jumped on top of me playfully, but I knew his words were serious. The visiting nomads were not vegetarian.

I soaked up Edward's smell as he crouched in front of me, like he was ready to pounce. "But don't worry." Edward continued. "My family playing a game tonight during the thunderstorm will lead them away from town. They won't come near Forks." Edward said this in a formal tone, but his body was moving as if we were having an entirely different conversation.

"So, the rest of your family will be out playing baseball tonight?" My heart thudded.

"Yes." Edward murmured, while planting small kisses up my arm and across my shoulder.

"So, we have the house to ourselves?" I breathed.

Edward's lips dragged across my throat. "Yes." His cool breath tickled me.

"All alone this evening." I murmured, trying to keep my eyes from rolling back as Edward kissed along my jawline. "Whatever will we do with ourselves?"

Edward's velvet voice came out low and sultry. "I have a few ideas. There's something I want to try." Hmm. I said the same thing last night.

I ripped open his button down shirt. My shoes flew through the air. I didn't know where they landed. I didn't care. Edward pulled me off the couch and I wrapped my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck. He swung me up onto him with ease. I couldn't see where he was taking me, but we left a trail of clothes behind us, like bread crumbs. I was so preoccupied with my lips on Edward's that I didn't notice we had entered another room. It was only until I heard the rush of water that I realized we were in a bathroom. Edward had turned on the shower.

The bathroom, like the rest of the house, was spacious and open, but the color scheme was black. The walk in shower was built into the black tiled floor and was twice the size of my entire bathroom at home. Clear glass panels hung from ceiling to floor and separated the shower from everything else. On the opposite side of the room was a long mirror over the trough styled sink. Moody sconces light the bathroom with dim lighting.

"Holy shit." I gasped. No pun intended, but this was the fanciest room I'd ever been in.

"Would you like to take a shower with me?" Edward grinned.

The hot water rained down from four different shower heads. My favorite was the huge one in the ceiling pointing straight down. I stood underneath it and closed my eyes, letting the beads of water crash into my head and drip down the length of my body. I also liked standing here because I was forced to close my eyes. I didn't want to see Edward appraising my naked body. I was incredibly self conscious. I was glad for the hot water disguising my full body blush.

Edward wrapped his arms around me from behind. His cold arms balanced out the hot water. I leaned into him as he hugged me to his chest.

"You're beautiful." He murmured into my shoulder. I hummed softly as I felt him press against me. He dragged a soapy washcloth down my back, around my waist, and over the tops of my thighs.

"Breathe, Beau." Edward reminded me in my ear. I took in a huge sputtering breath. Oh right. Oxygen is important. I heard him chuckle over the falling water.

His hands looped under my arms to my chest. He began washing my torso, slowly, seductively. If I weren't leaning against him, I think my knees would have given out. His right hand moved further down on my stomach with the wash cloth. I felt my muscles tighten in all the familiar and aching places.

"Ah," Edward breathed, his head on my shoulder. "Beau, you're big." He whispered, pleased, as he dragged the washcloth over my erection.

"Mhm." I had to concentrate very hard. My brain was going to mush.

He dropped the cloth. I heard a bottle being opened. I couldn't look, but I had a hunch it was the KY warming jelly Edward purchased this morning. Delicately, his cool fingers traced along my cock from tip to base, but a tingling fire was left behind.

"Oh." I sighed into Edward. His left arm propped me up. I was tentative of him touching me since it didn't work out so well last time. But the hot water and warming jelly guarded against his cold touch.

"I didn't know you were uncircumcised." Edward muttered to himself while he played with my hood, pulling it back and pushing it forward on my head.

The moan that escaped my lips was involuntary. He felt amazing on my dick. The cold and the hot did incredible things. The tingling sensation was a good. . . good feeling.

"I like that." Edward kissed into my neck.

"I like that too." I mumbled, with a stupid grin.

He squeezed me cautiously and delicately. My erection pushed back against the pressure, wanting more. I felt like he was teasing me. It didn't appear that he was going to change his pace and pressure.

At one point, his hands stopped moving. Edward finally admitted, "I'm not sure how I can do this. . . I'm not sure if I can-"

I laid my hand on his, finger to finger. I guided his hand on my cock. I moved him up and down my erection with the amount of pressure I needed and speed I wanted. The sensation was insane in very good ways. I was both hot and cool. The hot water raining down on me, his cool hands on my throbbing overheated cock, the warming sensation from the lubrication. It all swirled together in a battle of pleasure. I gasped mouth opened as I felt myself begin to clench up. Water splattered into my mouth and I laughed which only made the matter worse. Edward quickly moved me to a different shower head, one where I was free to open my mouth and not drown. His free hand gripped me between my legs. When he set me back down, his hand remained in its location. I shivered with the potential. With my free hand, I leaned on the wall and widened my stance. All the while, I kept using his hand to jack off. I was getting close. My body thrusted into Edward's hands faster and harder.

"Do you want me to. . .?" Edward's voice ragged.

I nodded. "Yes. Yes." I said between moans of pleasure.

I heard him grab the lubricant again. His left hand massaged my butt. My breathing was erratic. My thoughts were incoherent. He slowly pressed a finger into me.

"Oh, fuck." I grunted with the new form of pleasure. I didn't expect that to feel so damn good.

"Does this hurt?" Edward asked.

I shook my head. God damn, don't stop. He slipped his finger in and out of me carefully. Holy shit. That and the . . . everything. . . I was flying toward the edge. My cock throbbed and thickened. Everything felt wonderfully blurry.

"What was the name you chose?" Edward kissed into my shoulder. "Please tell me."

He had tried to pry the name I choose out of me all afternoon but I wouldn't budge. I wasn't sure how he would take it. I picked my new identity around him and I wanted to keep him guessing.

"What name did you pick?" Edward prodded again, and he stopped fingering me.

Oh, that's how this is, then. I was in such a slushy state of mind I would have given him anything. Anything to keep him going.

"Masen." I grunted between gasps. "Beau Masen." I contorted myself so I could see Edward's face. "Beaumont Masen actually. But still Beau."

He looked pensive for a moment then a broad smile grew on his lips. He smashed his lips onto mine and I twisted into the kiss. His tongue dug into my mouth hungrily.

"You took my name." Edward stated in disbelief as he released my lips from his. His finger circled inside me with a new passion and my eyes rolled back as I faced away again.

"Beau Masen." He murmured to himself and giggled. Literally giggled. I was in no position to comment. "Breathe." He reminded me again.

I couldn't find my breath. I rubbed his hand briskly on my dick. I was getting close. So close. The anticipation clenched me up. His tongue dragged on my shoulder, sending me over the edge. I moaned aggressively.

"I-I'm cumming." I yelled out breathlessly one second before I exploded. I thrusted into the sudden orgasm. It felt like my body hit a wall of pleasure. Waves of tingling fire caressed my everywhere. "Oh my god." I panted. Trying to catch my breath. "Oh fuck." I leaned back into him, exhausted. "Wow."

Edward's hand covered my tip, my semen in his grasp. I watched as he brought my liquid to his mouth. He winked at me and I think that's when I collapsed.

"Beau." I heard Edward talk as if he were far away. I blinked and the darkness started to ebb into color. "Beau, can you hear me?"

I nodded stiffly. My head was laying on a pillow.

I could feel the relief roll off Edward's shoulders. I tried to sit up but he pushed me back down onto his leather couch. I was dressed in one of Edward's shirts. "What happened?" My voice was raspy.

"You fainted." Edward's eyes were concerned, but his lips were devious. "Properly fainted." His arms squeezed me into him. His cheek rested on mine. "Oh, Beau what am I going to do with you?"

My reply came back heavy with drowsiness. "Practice makes perfect."

He laughed and came in for a kiss.

He stopped just before I got there and it took me a moment to realize why. My phone was ringing. He grabbed it for me. The number didn't look familiar.

I frowned but picked it up. "Hello?" I tried to blink myself out of the heavy stupor I was in.

"Uh, Beau?" Jules greeted on the other line.

"Yeah? Who's this?" I knew who it was but I was ticked off that she was interrupting our moment.

"It's Julie Black. Sorry, it's just. I wanted to make sure you were alright. My mom. . . " She trailed off.

"Oh, hey. Yeah, I'm good." I yawned into the receiver. "I just got up from a nap."

There was some muffled sounds on the other end.

I could hear Bonnie in the background. "Is he with him?"

"Okay." Jules sounded embarrassed. "Just checking. Thanks."

The line went dead.

"That was weird." I muttered into the dial tone before closing out of the call.

Edward stood up instantly and strode over to his phone. "Shit." He cursed.

Edward never cursed, except for when he was stopping a moving van from killing me. I started to feel uneasy.

"What's going on?"

"Three missed calls." He said with an overly calm voice. I heard him dial a number. "Esme-. . ." The voice on the other end spoke too quickly for me to grasp onto anything. "Where? Tell them to be patient. Stay calm. . . . No, absolutely not. . . I'm on my way." He hung up.

"Where are we going? What's happening?" I stood up, ready to do anything. Not knowing what I should be ready for. Thunder rumbled outside.

The lightening that flashed through the back glass wall illuminated his stony expression. "You're staying here. Don't leave the house until I come back." He pressed a button on his phone and the clear glass wall on the back of the house was overshadowed by a thick sheet of metal. It clunked into place. The security wall. My heart started pounding.

"Edward, what's happening?" The panic in my voice bubbled out. "Is it the other vampires?"

"Promise me, you'll stay here." Edward growled. For the first time, I saw the monster Edward thought I should be terrified of. He looked absolutely frightening. Thunder roared outside, making this moment reminiscent of a Gothic novel. I gulped involuntarily.

I nodded. Edward tilted my chin down and pressed his lips firmly onto mine. The urgency in it killed me. This wasn't a normal goodbye kiss. It was too forced.

"I love you." He murmured solemnly.

"I love you too."

"Stay put, Beau. Don't worry. Everything will be fine."

"Edward, what's going on?" I pleaded, grabbing onto his wrist as he turned away.

"There's been a complication. The wolves have returned."

* * *

 **AN: I'm a sucker for cliff hangers.**

 **Thanks for reading and reviewing! I hope you liked this chapter. I really do depend on your feedback.  
**

 **Congrats are in order. Invisible trophies go out to CentauRita and djacobyoung for guessing Beau Masen.**

 **\- Rosalie.**


	24. Chapter 24: Stand Aside

**Disclaimer: I don't own these characters.**

 **AN: Well, that didn't take very long. Thanks for reviewing. Enjoy! - Rose**

* * *

Chapter 24:

Stand Aside

* * *

Beau's POV

* * *

"Right, right." I sighed into the empty room. "Just stay put, he says. Don't worry, he says. Easy enough." I waved my hand in the air ironically. I stared up at the ceiling while thunder crashed outside. Edward left in such a hurry. I racked my brain trying to think of everything he had told me about the Quileute werewolves. _Teeth that can cut through vampire skin._ I shivered. Edward had stopped a car with his hand and deflected a bullet off his stomach. Something sharp enough to cut through him? Yes, I was going to worry. How could I not?

 _There was almost a fight, but I was there to stop it._

I knew what Edward had to do. He was going to go talk to them. That's what happened last time all those years ago. He said there was almost a fight, but he was the messenger that could communicate between the two species.

"Is he with him?" Bonnie had said.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

I closed my eyes and tried to think of anything, _anything_ , else.

 _\- The school year ending. Edward and I sitting together in the gymnasium watching Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett walk across the stage to get their high school diploma. Edward looking bored and Alice rolling her eyes when Emmett high five'd the principal too hard and the man had to start using his other hand._

 _Taking a plane to Jacksonville with Edward. My mom smothering Edward and I equally with hugs. Her look of approval and thumbs up to me when Edward turned to Phil. They would talk about baseball and my mom and I would share an exasperated glance._

 _Mom pulling me aside. "Are you using protection? Have you been tested for STDs? Has he?" She would ask. I would blush as I answered that we were clean and being safe.  
_

 _Saying goodbye and gripping my mom too tight. Edward hanging in the shadows trying to hide his pained expression. "I love you, mom." I would stutter trying to keep the tears back._

 _"I love you, sweet boy. You always have a place here, Beau. Come back soon, okay? Have a safe trip." She would respond. I would choke on the ball of grief residing in my throat._

 _Wrenching myself away from mom and heading into the airport. Wiping away stinging tears in the bathroom. Edward holding me tight as we flew to Seattle. "You can change your mind." He would try to persuade me.  
_

 _Emmett and Jasper meeting us halfway. P_ _ _lacing two charred unknown bodies carefully into position._ Emmett's infectious laughter as they rigged Edward's car to run off the side of the road and down a cliff. Watching the fire encapsulate everything from a safe distance. Leaving in Emmett's jeep as the red and blue lights of first responders rounded the corner.  
_

 _Carlisle injecting me with pain killers. Edward holding my hand. "I'm right here." He would whisper._

 _Fixing my eyes on Edward as Carlisle leaned in and bit my neck.-  
_

Thunder crackled outside and I blinked, jolted out of my day dream. Right.

Nervously, I wrung my hands.

I ambled downstairs and poked around the kitchen. I thought briefly what a shame it was to have such an impressive kitchen and no one be able to eat from it.

I bumped into the wall on my way to the living room and a ring of keys dropped from their hanging place. I stared at the car keys on the floor and bit my lip. An idea began taking shape.

* * *

Edward's POV

* * *

When I arrived at the clearing, there were three distinct groups that all turned towards me. The only one I needed to see first was my family. Carlisle's thoughts reached me first while I was running. He was thinking for me, sending me messages like a radio loop.

 _-We are okay. Three nomad vampires. Four werewolves. No one is moving. We are okay. Three nomad vampires. Four werewolves. No one is moving. We are okay. . . -_

I had run into somewhat of a mexican standoff. All eyes were on me as I joined Carlisle's side. Thunder rumbled in the distance but it wasn't raining here. Emmett's arms were crossed over his puffed out chest. He flexed his arms, making them look like small boulders. Jasper tensed into a position for optimal movement. His body angled towards Alice protectively. My psychic sister was the only one actively moving. She rubbed her temples as if she had a headache.

I cleared my throat, breaking the silence. The nomad vampires shifted warily. I grazed over their thoughts. They wanted to run and I couldn't blame them, but sudden movement would only make matters worse. We didn't know what the werewolves wanted.

I then turned my attention at the wolves. Last time the leader was a brown russet colored alpha. This alpha had long black fur. She was flanked on both sides by twitchy wolves.

"Samantha." I greeted. She tilted her head to the side. The smaller wolf in the back snarled. "My name is Edward and you can communicate your thoughts through me."

 _-What does the bloodsucker mean?-_ The tan one to Sam's side.

 _-That's the one Jules said. . . dating a human. . . Charlie's kid. . . The boy is a traitor to his own kind. Blah!-_

 _-Ew. I don't even know where to begin on that one.-_

 _-Wait, Beaufort's a twink?-_

 _-Shut up.-_

 _-With a name like Beaufort, of course he's gay.-_

 _-Really Embry? You're gonna talk about names?-  
_

I took a deep breath. These were immature puppies. "My name is Edward and I mean that I can read your thoughts." I tried to keep my tone light.

Sam nodded her large head. _-I understand._ \- She thought for me. Then to her pack. _-Careful with your thoughts, boys and girls. He can hear them just as well as I can hear yours.-_

 _-What seriously?-_

"Yes, seriously." I grinned. And the werewolves all shared uneasy glances.

 _-The legends are true then about the special gifts.-_ Sam thought. _-Very well. Then we will communicate through you.-_

"Carlisle, they understand." I spoke, but kept my eyes trained on the dogs.

They were only kids. Sam was the eldest, but she was only 22. The others were still in high school. Their instinct was to attack but there were too many of us and not enough of them. We needed to make sure not to make them angry or afraid. They're instincts would kick in and they would get themselves killed.

"I knew Ephriam. You are aware of the treaty that my family and your pack are under?" Carlisle asked.

 _-The Treaty only applies to your coven, because you promised not to hurt humans.-_

I translated.

"And we have kept our end of the deal and will continue to do so." Carlisle nodded thoughtfully. "Why are you here? We are within our own territory."

 _-Those bloodsuckers do not act in accordance to the treaty.-_ Sam looked at the nomad vampires. I saw the memory flash: bloody corpses found in the woods, completely drained. Two hikers in the wrong place at the wrong time.

"No." I gasped and spun to the nomads, eyeing them seriously. The woman, Victoria flicked her red eyes to me and then back to the wolves.

 _-We tracked them here.-_ Sam continued.

I nodded. "They are not part of our family." I answered Sam myself. I needed them to know that.

 _-But you are protecting them?-_

I sighed. "The visitors have hunted in the area." I informed everyone. All eyes shifted to the nomads. They tensed up under everyone's gaze.

 _-Hunted? You mean slaughtered innocent life.-_ Embry angrily thought.

"Ah," Carlisle furrowed his eyebrows and his sadness was genuine. "A horrible tragedy. We do not condone their actions. We had no idea they were here until just now."

A slight lie. Alice had seen the possibility of their arrival a few weeks ago. We couldn't exactly explain that one though. Why couldn't they have hunted beforehand. The wolves were bred for this, literally. To defend their land to fight vampires. There was going to be a fight no matter what happened.

Esme held onto Carlisle. _-What do we do?-_

Carlisle turned to Alice. We all turned to Alice. She always could give us a guideline, something to go off of. A plan that would cause the least amount of damage.

"Alice?" Jasper touched her arm.

She shook her head. "I can't see anything." Frustration lathered in small voice.

- _It's just black. Everything I try to predict with the wolves is black. They're blocking me, I think.-_

I nodded, seeing her effort. I turned back to Carlisle. "We couldn't have foreseen these events, Carlisle." I hoped he understood my meaning. We were operating in the dark.

Sam snarled, not liking our side conversation. _-The treaty is void if you associate with these murderers.-_

"They want to know if we stand with them."

The head of the nomad clan, James. _-Fight with us. They would be no match against us. Four to ten. I like those odds.-_

 _-These mongrels are abominations. The wolves must be destroyed.-_ Victoria thought strongly, then she considered the matter further. She was stronger at fleeing than fighting. _-I could create a diversion. Create tension with the vegetarians. Let them war. Let us get away.-_ Her thoughts divulged into different escape tactics.

 _-Of course they'll will stand with us. These creatures don't stand a chance against all of us. If they want to die today, we will grant their wishes.-_ Laurent was confident in holding ground.

The wolves looked between the nomads and my family.

 _-Let's fight.-_ The small one snarled.

 _-There's too many.-_ The one next him.

 _-If it comes down to it, Bloodsuckers. We are ready to die defending our home. We will take down as many with us as we can. We know the match is uneven. That will not stop us.-_

The younger ones agreed with their alpha. So young. So naive.

I sighed and held up my hand. "The nomads are not with us. We have no dog in this fight."

Sam appraised me. _-Is that from you, or from your leader?-_

 _-TRAITORS-_ Victoria screeched, but she didn't make a move. Not yet.

I looked at my father and nodded. Thunder rumbled in the distance. He stepped forward, his arms open showing surrender. The wolves growled in warning but let him proceed.

"We have nothing to do with the nomads. We do not protect them. Their lifestyle does not reflect on ours. We wish to kept our treaty intact. We will not take part in any fight."

The wolf to Sam's left, Embry, pawed at the ground. _-If the Cullens don't fight, then we will sink our teeth into the others. We can take them.-_

 _-Very well then.-_ Sam thought and I could feel the directive power she emboldened her pack. _-_ _Our fight is not with you. Stand aside.-_

Everything that happened in the next 5 seconds seemed to go in slow motion.

Victoria was the first one to turn around and run. Sam snarled and lunged through the air. The four connected werewolf thoughts focused in sync on the three outsider vampires. They were already planning how to separate, attack, and corale. We were no longer a concern. Four against three were better odds. Their thoughts were aligned perfectly. This is what they were trained for.

James ducked in time to avoid the claws coming down as Sam landed her high arching leap. Laurent just now started turning. He didn't get the memo to run. They would take him down first. Perhaps they would win at least one fight. The others might escape, but at least the dogs would be safe.

And then a new voice popped into my head. It was filled with terror and anger and blood.

Surprised by the voracity and confused tenor, I swiveled around trying to find the owner of the new voice. The picture was cast in hot red anger. It belonged to a werewolf. But not one of these wolves launching themselves into a fight. No. This werewolf's thoughts ran out of sync and in confusion. This wolf wasn't here in the clearing at all.

It took me a millisecond to understood what just happened. A new werewolf just transformed for the first time. That's why her thoughts were chaotic and hazy with red. She was panicking. Her thoughts automatically connected to the mind link the wolves shared.

It took another millisecond to see through it. I discovered why her vision was filled with blood at the same time Bonnie's daughter realized what she had just done. Julie and I discovered in the same instant whose blood was on her paws.

I grabbed wildly at Carlisle and pushed him forward with me as I charged out of the clearing.

"BEAU!" I screeched with horror. His name ricocheted around me, flashing in everyone's thoughts.

* * *

Beau's POV

* * *

I drove Carlisle's black vehicle into La Push. I wasn't sure what my plan was, but I needed to confront Bonnie. I knew the streets after all these years and I recognized the white sedan in front of the small home. There wasn't much I could do against werewolves, but I could set the record straight with Bonnie. I wanted her to butt out of my life.

I knocked on their door but tried the knob a few second later after no one answered. It opened.

Bonnie came out of Jule's bedroom and her face was full of worry. She looked at me and grimaced.

"Get out, Beau. You have no business here."

"What's with the check in call?" My eyes narrowed. "I know you put Jules up to it. If you want an update. I'm still dating Edward. And that is none of your concern." I folded my arms across my chest defiantly. "If it's the Cullens you're worried about, they have done nothing wrong. There is no reason for you to distrust them." The edge in my voice gave way to my hidden meaning.

"Beau." Bonnie shook her head. "There are things you don't understand."

"What if I do understand them?" I bit back.

She appraised me.

"The Cullens are not the problem." I continued. "They don't deserve your hatred. They don't go on your land. They follow the _law_. You're the one in danger of causing problems." I raised my eyebrow at her.

She licked her lips. "You know more than I thought you did."

"I may know more than you do."

She nodded thoughtfully, but her face was still twisted into disdain. "You need to get out. Julie isn't feeling well."

I slammed my fist on the table. "Fine, but not before I tell you that I know what you think about me. I have never in my entire life, seen someone so ignorant and closed minded. I understand if you don't like the Cullens but you have no right to judge me on who I love. I have done nothing to you. Who I love doesn't affect you at all. If I love dick or not, it doesn't give you the right to behave how you did the other day. And I won't tolerate you trying to police my relationship."

Bonnie looked like she was about to explode. Her expression turned blistering."Stand down, fruit cake. Get out. I will not have the likes of you, faggot, in my house."

"MOM." Jules appeared in the room. Sweat the size of bullets were running down from her head. Her hair was damp with it. She did look sick. Really sick. She needed to go to the hospital.

"Shut the fuck up, mom. You can't say that. I can't believe you would say something like that. Also, stop fucking telling me what to do. I'm not your dog. You lie and hide things from me. If I had known your shitty plans the other night I would have never taken you. You're always telling me what to do and where to go. And then you call my friend a faggot? What is your deal? What's going on with you?" A slew of profanities flew out of Jules mouth. She was very creative. And very angry. Too angry. She needed to calm down. "I. . . I. . ." Jules started shaking.

It was like deja vu. Just like my dream. Jules shaking. The whole house shaking. Everything blurred. Jules screamed and I heard snapping and fabric tearing. I blinked and in place of Jules stood a snarling, snapping wolf. She reared her head back, just like the wolf in my dream. I acted without hesitation.

"No!" I lunged between the wolf and Bonnie.

* * *

 **AN:**

 **I hate making Bonnie so gross, but I had to for the story. *sigh***

 **Thanks for reading and reviewing! I appreciate you guys.**

 **-Rosalie**


	25. Chapter 25: Blood

**Disclaimer: I don't own these characters.**

 **AN: Want to make a quick shout out to the guests that regular review my chapters. I see you, anonymous babes.**

 **Sorry for the double cliff hangers yesterday. Thanks for sticking with me and playing my ransom game.**

 **Enjoy the read.**

 **\- Rosalie**

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Chapter 25

Blood

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Edward's POV

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I held my breath. Beau's blood saturated the air. He was strung out on the floor. Three large and fatal gashes cut deep across his chest diagonally.

Samantha had followed us from the clearing and let Carlisle and I cross into their land, considering the circumstances. The rest of the werewolves had taken down and destroyed Laurent and were chasing after James now. Once Sam had registered Julie's transformation, she veered off to help the new pack dog phase back into human form.

 _-Julie. It's Sam. Take deep breaths. Find a way to get outside. You need to get out of the house. Don't worry about the door. We'll fix it. You need to get out now. Don't look down. No, don't look down. Just get out of the house.-_

If Jules looked down she would see Beau's mangled body, causing her panic to worsen. Julie in her anger couldn't process anything but Sam and I both saw what she could not. Julie needed to be diffused and she needed to get the hell away from Beau.

Sam lead Julie to the ocean and away from Beau and Bonnie. Away from Carlisle and I. If Julie was still there when Carlisle and I arrived, she would attack us instantly. It was her nature.

Bonnie had crawled onto the floor and held Beau's head in her weathered bronze arms. Tears rolled down her cheeks and she wailed uncontrollably.

"Move!" I yelled while I flung myself to his side. Blood was spilling profusely out of three large gashes ranging across his chest. His shirt, my shirt, was ripped to shreds.

"Beau. Beau!" I shouted. He wasn't responding. "Carlisle?"

My father assessed the damage.

"Edward, he's still alive. My medical bag is in the car. Beau drove my car here. Grab it."

I didn't want to leave his side, but I wrenched myself away. We needed to stop the bleeding.

I brought the bag in and Carlisle started putting pressure where the bleeding was the worst. I was already preparing the stitches. Carlisle grabbed the needle and began to pull the ragged edges of Beau's skin together. Carlisle's impulse thought shattered me to my core.

 _-Beau is not going to live through this. . . Wounds are too deep. . . already in shock.-_

"No." I ran to my father's side. "Carlisle, you have to bite him. You have to bite him now."

If Beau was dying. There was no time.

Carlisle nodded and stopped trying to sew Beau's chest. "Get the morphine."

Bonnie stopped her wailing. "The treaty." She hissed out.

"Treaty be damned." I yelled back while drawing the pain killer from the vial into the needle.

"If you change Beau into one of you filth, the treaty will be null and void and you won't be able to run far enough away to escape. No matter how long it takes, the wolves will find you."

"Julie broke the treaty first." I growled and jammed the needle into Beau's shoulder. He was still out cold and not feeling a thing.

"What?" Bonnie raised her eyes.

Carlisle stood up now. "Julie attacked our family. She broke the treaty. We have no obligations to uphold our end now."

"Beau isn't. . . "

"Beau is our family." Carlisle emphasized every word.

"If Beau is your family, then he shouldn't have stepped foot on our land." Bonnie bit back.

My snarls and growls didn't drown out the argument. Beau was dying and they were debating over semantics.

Beau's heartbeat slowed. So much blood loss. Soon there wouldn't be enough blood for his heart to pump.

Bonnie and Carlisle were still arguing. It's as if we didn't exist anymore.

I touched Beau's cheek with the back of my hand and his eyelids fluttered open. Blue eyes latched onto me fiercely. I had seen this look before. I had seen this light in the memories Carlisle had of my mother before she died. _"Save him in the way only you can."_ Sky blue and fading quickly. With what little strength he had left, Beau moved his lips. No sound came out but I knew what he said. "Do it."

I leaned forward and placed a kiss on his forehead. I was afraid. What if I wasn't strong enough? What if I couldn't stop? Beau's blood sang to me like no one else's. I should wait for Carlisle. He was the one that had to do it. I might not be able to stop. Carlisle had to do it.

Beau closed his eyes again wearily. I felt his life force fading beneath me. Beau was dying.

There was no time. It had to be now and Carlisle and Bonnie weren't paying any attention. Carlisle would not act unless this matter was cleared up.

I took a deep breath and let the smell of blood burn down my throat. Gently, I placed a kiss on his neck as if we were alone on my couch away from all the blood and the yelling and the confusion. His complexion was turning more grey with every passing second.

My lips parted on his pallid skin. I opened my mouth wide and clamped my teeth down, tearing into his skin.

The taste hit me like a shot of heroin. It smacked me into a different dimension.

I never could have imagined what his blood would do to me. I'd had human before, of course. But nothing could have prepared me for this. Not even all those weeks of misery sitting by his side. The desire for him paled in comparison to the actual deliciousness of his red blood. Better than sex. This was on a completely different planet. My eyes rolled back and for two seconds I forgot where I was. I forgot who I was.

 _-Let go, Edward.-_ Carlisle thought towards me.

 _No. No. Leave me alone. Mine._ Like one hoarding their kill,My thoughts were animalistic and possessive.

"Edward." Carlisle hissed.

My eyes shot open and I was catapulted back into reality.

Beau. Oh no, Beau. I released my jaw and flung myself to the other side of the room. I wiped off the remaining blood on my sleeve, horrified with myself.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry." I muttered into my hands. Did I make it worse? He already lost so much blood. Oh my god. I was going to lose him.

 _-It's fine, Edward. You stopped in time. He's still alive. Your venom will keep his heart beating. You did a good job. I'm proud of you.-_

Carlisle sealed my bite on his neck.

 _-I'm just going to go back over with more venom so his wounds will close faster.-_ Then he ripped off the remaining rags of Beau's shirt and bit him gently on his wrists and above his heart, between the gashes. He moved with such control and precision. He didn't even let the blood touch his tongue.

I still couldn't breath. Beau's heartbeat was so faint. What if this didn't work? His heartbeat was so pitiful I feared that at any moment, it would give up.

Then Beau sputtered, coughing up blood. Pain distorted his face. "Fire." He murmured while his heart rate accelerated. His eyes were foggy with the morphine.

It was happening. It worked. Too many emotions washed over me.

"Burning. I'm burning!" Beau slurred through hoarse vocal chords.

Bonnie quietly seethed in the corner. She couldn't do anything now. He was changing. We were only righting a wrong. Julie was the one that killed him. She would have killed Bonnie but Beau stepped between them. Beau saved her life.

"Edward?" Beau flung his head wildly, searching for me.

"I'm right here." I kneeled beside him, holding his hand. "I'm right here."

"You bit me?" Beau asked quietly through jagged breaths.

"Yes, Beau. You were dying. I had to."

Beau gritted his teeth with pain, but he managed to pull the corners of his lips up into a sloppy grin. "I'm gonna be like you now?"

God, I wish I knew what he were thinking. He never responded the way I thought he should. "You're starting the transformation process." I confirmed.

He pushed back into the floor and said no more, fighting off the pain or accepting the morphine. I couldn't tell which.

Carlisle and Bonnie agreed that the extenuating circumstances would fall outside the treaty's jurisdiction. No one would be found at fault. They didn't have the manpower, or the wolf power, to enforce anything even if we breached the treaty first. The wolves were too busy with the nomads and the new member to worry about treaty guidelines.

Bonnie was well aware that if it came down to a fight over Beau, the blood of four kids would be on her hands. And they were already stained with Beau's blood.

Carlisle promised that we would leave the Olympic Peninsula within the next year. Bonnie promised the wolves would leave us and Beau alone.

We would forgive the pack for attacking one of our own. They in turn would look the other way to us biting a human.

Bonnie's tears streaming silently down now were for Charlie. A sentiment I anguished over myself. This wasn't how it was supposed to happen. Taking Beau's humanity away would never be perfect, but this was so sudden. He didn't get to say goodbye.

I scooped Beau into my arms. He shook with pain and grasped at my collar weakly.

"Stay with me." He sputtered between ragged breaths.

I carried him to the back seat of the car and leaned him against my chest.

My lips at his ear, I whispered back, "Forever."


	26. Chapter 26: Red

**Disclaimer: I don't own these characters etc etc.**

* * *

Chapter 26

Red

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Edward's POV

* * *

"Carlisle, the scars?" I asked him quietly seven hours into the change. The gashes on Beau's chest closed themselves quickly. Silvery skin threaded together, but it puckered up to form three long ghastly scars. He wasn't healing properly. Venom was supposed to rid the human of their imperfections. Heal wounds as if they never happened, cure illnesses, etc etc. I remembered how the gashes from the bear that would have ended Emmett's life had sealed themselves seamlessly. But the marks the young werewolf tore into Beau weren't disappearing as they should be.

Once I had brought him into the house, Esme washed the blood off his body. Then Alice helped me change Beau into fresh clothes. She had kept the outfit waiting and ready for weeks.

"Always be prepared." She grinned while stuffing Beau's arm into the light weight blue denim shirt. He groaned and shuddered.

"Don't button it." I told her, seeing her fingers dart towards the fastenings. "I want to keep an eye on the gashes. At least for now." They had only begun to thread together at the time.

She nodded.

Beau was delirious, completely lost in pain. I cringed every time he cried out. The worst was when he kept begging me to kill him. I panicked. Beau changed his mind.

"Just let me die. Kill me, please. Please. Make it stop. Kill me." He writhed with agony.

Dear god, what had I done? I told him he could always change his mind and now. . .

"We all said that." Alice reminded me soothingly. "He doesn't mean it. It's the pain talking."

Still, it haunted me.

Carlisle thought the morphine might help with the pain of the transformation but we quickly realized the venom burned it off. The morphine did nothing, still he was screaming less than the others had. There was that, at least.

"It'll be over soon." I lied through my teeth. It had barely been two hours.

"What's our story?" Rosalie asked once Beau's screams turned into quiet whimpers. "Charlie will start looking for him soon. He'll come here first."

She was right. Beau had talked to him on the phone, for which I was very grateful, but it did put us in a bind.

"Your keys, Edward." Alice held out her hand. "Hand them over." I saw her plan in her mind.

I pulled them from my pocket. Beau wailed again because I had to adjust him to reach my keys. I winced. "Sorry, Beau."

"Rose," Alice tossed the keys and Rosalie caught them without even looking. "Edward's car needs to have a serious malfunction. Think you can reverse work on his car?"

"Are we talking like a brake malfunction or self combustion?" Rosalie raised her eyebrow.

"The works."

Rosalie grinned with the challenge. _-Then we can drive my car around town.-_

At least someone was happy.

"Emmett and Jasper." Alice now turned to the next and most important phase. "The hikers the nomads killed. . ."

Jasper nodded already on board. "Their bodies are still in the park to the east. Only the werewolves have found them. We'll use their corpses. We don't have time to dig up someone else." He grabbed Emmett's arm on their way out.

They were back in half an hour with the bodies.

Carlisle and Esme peeled the clothes off the hikers and replaced them with the ones Beau and I had been wearing. Beau's blood was splattered on both. Esme burned the hikers garments in the fire pit out back.

Jasper collected my phone and cleared it of anything incriminating. He held Beau's phone in his other hand and began a text to Charlie:

"Sorry about curfew. Edward's driving me home now." Send.

 _-I'll have your new phones ready in a few days.-_ He thought while he threw both of our cellphones into my car.

Right. I was dying too in this scenario.

 _-The papers will still take two weeks. I'll talk to my guy tomorrow and see if I can get that expedited.-_

"Don't worry about it. It's not like we can go anywhere anytime soon."

Jasper nodded then ducked out to join Rosalie in setting up the car crash.

"Ed-wa-wa-rd-d?" Beau stuttered, and moaned. I turned my focus back on him.

"I'm here." I brushed his forehead. "I'm right here."

He grasped my arm. The grip didn't feel as weak anymore. Beau was already getting stronger.

2 AM.

The house phone rang ominously. Beau groaned at the disturbance and I shushed him comfortingly and whispered pleasant things in his ear.

Carlisle patted Esme on the knee sadly and got up to answer the phone. They've been waiting for the call and rehearsing their responses. "Dr. Cullen speaking." He answered professionally as a hospital doctor does in the middle of the night. A pause.

It wasn't Charlie on the other line, thank god, but someone else on the force.

"You need to come down to the hospital, Dr. Cullen. There's been an accident."

"Dr. Lewis is on call tonight." Carlisle replied diplomatically.

"It's. . .it's." The officer didn't know how to explain. "I'm sorry, Dr. Cullen. But it's your son. He's dead."

"My son?" Carlisle hiccuped.

"We think it's Edward, sir."

"Oh, god. No, no, no." Carlisle brought his hand to his forehead. The anguish in his voice was heartbreaking. "What happened?"

Rosalie pushed Emmett out of the room when he started laughing.

This wasn't funny.

"There was a car crash. We found him on the side of Bell's road. He was with Beaufort Swan. Charlie is. . . Charlie is already here." The voice on the line spoke glumly.

Esme disheveled Carlisle's hair before they left together for the hospital. In her pocket, she carried a handkerchief and a bottle of saline to create tears.

There wasn't much to identify at the hospital. The police wouldn't do a hard investigation. It was obvious. The whole town knew we were dating. The whole town knew what car I drove. Beau had texted Charlie letting him know he was on his way home with me. No one would question the identity of the badly burned bodies. Jasper had carefully left our wallets out of the fires blaze. Beaufort Swan and Edward Cullen died in a horrible car accident.

The black box for my car would read out an electrical issue that sparked a fire and that the brakes had been pressed but the car didn't react in time. It was the cars fault. Not mine. We didn't want anyone to point fingers.

"Ss-ss-sorry." Beau stuttered through clenched teeth. "Mm-mm-"

"Sh, it's okay Beau." I tried to comfort him. I never felt so helpless. "Don't try to talk. It makes it worse."

". . . mmmm-my ff-fault." He pried his eyes open.

A thick silvery haze clouded his blue eyes. I stopped myself from crying out in sorrow.

My favorite color was the way he used to look at me. Those sky blue eyes would never gaze at me again.

"It's not your fault, Beau. You did nothing wrong." I whispered, because I couldn't find my voice.

"Nn-nn-noo." Beau closed his eyes again. I doubt he was able to see through them now anyway. I remember this part. Everything beyond the pain was far away, like trying to look out a smoky window while being burned alive. I'm surprised at how alert he seemed to be. "I lef-ft."

"Shh." I cradled his face with my palms and relished in the way I could still feel his blood racing beneath my hands. Would he hate me when this was over? When his heart stopped beating, would he blame me for turning him into a monster? What if he doesn't want to live his forever with me?

Beau's brow furrowed. "Nn-no." He panted.

"I know. I know." I shushed him. "The pain will end. I promise. It will end."

He grunted and a small cry of torment escaped before he clenched his mouth shut again. He stayed quiet after that.

"Why don't I tell you a story? Huh? Would that be okay?" Beau seemed to be more at ease when I was talking.

I told him about our family friends in Alaska. I told him about the three sisters who used to sleep with men and kill them once they were done with them. I told him then how they started to have feelings for their prey and became vegetarians like us. I told him how Tanya had made several advances for me but I kept blowing her off for 40 years until I came out to her a month and a half ago.

Alice sat cross legged on the arm of the couch beside me and told the story of how she didn't have any memories of her human life but when she woke up into her vampire life she saw visions of Jasper and waited twenty years before she could find him. She spoke of how she and Jasper had waltzed into our family and took over my room while I was out hunting.

Carlisle and Esme returned in the late morning.

"Charlie is surrounded by good friends." Was the only thing Carlisle said of the matter.

 _-He's in bad shape. It's so awful.-_

The phone kept ringing during the day; The town offering their condolences. Thankfully no house visitors.

We kept telling stories.

Rosalie talked about the night she was molested and left to die and went into graphic detail about the revenge she got on those men.

Jasper told stories from his time in the wars, both the Civil War and the Newborn wars.

I talked about the time I spent rebelling. When I had grown bitter about the life Carlisle cast me in and his expectations for me to ignore my new desires. I told him how I had tracked the evil bottom dwellers in Chicago during the 1930's. How I had befriended a crime reporter and beat cop to find where the worst of the criminals hid. How I followed their thoughts in the alleyways at night. I told Beau I was only fooling myself and the act of playing god weighed heavily on me until I couldn't stand to look at myself anymore. I told him how Carlisle welcomed me back with open arms, like the prodigal son.

"I'll be right back." Alice hopped off the couch in the evening.

She came back two and a half hours later with a duffel bag under her arm. She smelled like Charlie.

Charlie liked Alice. He welcomed her into his home. His eyes swimming with tears. They hugged and cried together. To his mind, Alice lost her good friend _and_ her brother. She brought him food and cleaned his kitchen while others from the town arrived. After Alice said goodbye, she snuck in through Beau's window and grabbed a few of his things. Familiar things.

A family picture, when he was a baby and his parents were still together. A photo of his mom wrapped around his small 6 year old body on the beach. A picture of him around the age of 10 with a grumpy expression sitting next to Charlie in a fishing boat. A more recent photo from Renee and Phil's wedding: Beau kissing his mom's cheek and her laughter etched forever on the page.

Alice grabbed his favorite books. _Two-thousand League's Under the Sea_ , _Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy_ , _Frankenstein_ , and _Ender's Game_. Each book was scribbled on with notes in the margins. Pages bent over to mark his journey through them over and over again. I imagined him reading late at night, with a flashlight when he couldn't sleep.

His quilted blanket was tucked into the bag. An heirloom likely passed down from his grandparents that Charlie would never think to look for.

And the clothes Alice recently bought him were in the bag too.

These things all smelled like Beau. It was only until that moment did I notice that the Beau in my arms didn't smell like that the Beau imprinted on these objects. He didn't smell human anymore. The objects smelled like a stale copy of him. Like the last relics of his life, soon to be referred to as his "old" life.

I ran my hand over the scars on Beau's chest out of habit. I was already so used to the way they puckered out that when I felt trenches in his skin instead, I gasped out startled.

"Carlisle?" My brows furrowed and I tried not to let panic seep into my voice. Beau stirred but settled down after a moment.

Carlisle examined his chest again. The scars were now thin crevices, like cracks in stone. Beau's skin was crystallizing.

"I don't think this is going away. There must be something in the claws of the werewolves that counteracts our ability to heal completely. Beau will have those scars forever, perhaps, but it looks contained." It was Carlisle's best judgement but he hadn't seen this before.

Esme and Alice set up his things in my room. Alice shoved my clothes to the side and gave Beau 65% of my closet space.

After laying Beau's quilt on my couch Esme tilted her head in thought. _-Should I order a bed for them?-_ I heard her calculating how long it took for her and Carlisle to get to a place where she could desire him and ignore the need for blood. It was a year and a half after she was changed but we didn't plan to stay that long in Forks. She shoved the thought out of her head.

Emmett got bored and turned on the TV. Before he could change the station the local news had a small blurb about two teenage boys that died in a tragic car accident in the small town of Forks. ". . . Could this happen to your child? After the break we talk to car safety experts." The news anchor tapped her paper on the desk before going to commercial.

"Sorry." Emmett muttered before putting on ESPN. The sports commentators started breaking down a particular play.

Beau groaned loudly and I couldn't help my smile. "He doesn't like sports."

Emmett rolled his eyes and turned the TV off as he got up and sat with Rosalie while she worked on the jeep.

We were coming up on the 56th hour when Beau started panicking. "Aaah!" He cried out.

I wrapped around him.

"I know. I know. It's okay. It's okay. It's part of the process."

His heart rate started to increase. The venom was pulling out of his extremities and drawing up to his heart. The final stage. Carlisle was right. The extra bites helped to speed the process up.

"It won't be long now."

Carlisle came down from his study and confirmed the progress. "He's almost finished. Give or take twenty minutes now."

With my right hand, I traced the scars on his chest and mildly thought to myself how sexy they were. My lips twitched as I fought off dueling emotions. I buttoned up his shirt then and patted his chest. It might be awhile until Beau could want me like I wanted him. I could be patient.

I studied his features and let my hand graze the side of his cheek. He was stunning. His hair was shinier. His angles more pronounced. I could see the diamond like facets in his cheeks and it took my breath away. I didn't create a monster. Beau was an angel. A devilishly handsome angel. More devastatingly beautiful with every passing moment. He took my breath away. Even though his face was clenched with unbearable suffering, he was still the most gorgeous creature I'd ever seen.

Beau began writhing; the last dredges of humanity being burned out. I held him tighter and he bucked against me. I was surprised at the force he blindly shoved with.

"Hold steady, Beau. You're doing fine. This is the worst of it and then you'll be free."

Beau tightened up as his heart began beating faster and faster. Too fast for any human. It was happening.

My family descended into the room. They wanted to witness his first moments, while his flying heart beats signified their own end.

The drumroll of his heart thudded loudly. Beau crushed his hand on mine. _Ow._

I sorrowfully remembered the moment in the meadow when I counted the time passing with his steady heartbeat. My Beau. My Beau. My Beau.

He arched his back and cried out in agony. His heart stuttered. Then beat determinedly a few more times. Then finally his heart beat once more and never again.

No one breathed.

His heart may no longer pump in his chest. But I would carry the sound of his heartbeat forever.

My Beau.

My Beau.

My Beau.

My Beau opened vibrant red eyes.

* * *

 **AN: This chapter kind of breaks my heart.**

 **So let's take a deep breath! Hold. And release.**

 **\- Rosalie**

P.S. If you are interested, I'm thinking on another story right now which I actually hinted at in this chapter. I'm going back in time.

I've always been interested in Edward's "rebellious" years. So I'm currently drafting a story about that, making it like a murder mystery with a noir vibe. A very different story, obvi. It's a work in progress. If you'd like to be notified when I start publishing it make sure you are following me.


	27. Chapter 27: New

**Disclaimer: I don't own these characters.**

Chapter 27

New

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Beau's POV

* * *

The last echo of agony died out. The pain stopped.

No, not just the absence of pain. Better than that. I felt amazing.

Beside me, Edward held his breath. I smelt him there. Holy shit. What did I think he smelled like before? Whatever it was, I was wrong. I could never have fathomed the intricacies and tones. His head hovered over mine expectantly. He stayed with me the entire time I burned in hell. He held me and talked me through the torment, never leaving my side.

I wanted to see Edward. By command my eyes opened and locked onto his face. He was the first thing I saw with my new eyes.

"Wow." I gasped. I thought I knew how beautiful Edward was before. Before the endless agony began.

I had been blind my whole life and now I could see for the first time. I felt spoiled. The first thing I ever looked at was the most magnificent sight to ever behold. His eyes were dark with the slightest tinge of red in them. It was my blood that stained his eyes that color.

I wanted to touch him. Instantly, my hand found itself gently placed on Edward's red lips. "Beautiful." I murmured. My voice didn't sound anything like I remembered it. It was too smooth and deep.

Edward's thick brows furrowed in a familiar way. He was trying to read my mind. _-He looks so calm.-_

I stood up in the next millisecond, leaping to my feet gracefully. I almost expected to topple over or feel dizzy with how speedy my movements were. But my mind kept up with the world around me, watching everything like slow motion. It was so effortless. Everything I wanted to do came so easily and quickly. Like I could skip the space between points A and B.

I looked at my hands and arms. My skin shimmered softly. I twisted my arm, watching the light bounce off my skin, like a smoothed diamond.

I spied in my peripheral vision, a sudden flash of movement beside me. My reflexes overrode my control. I flinched into a crouching position several paces away. A hissing sound filled the room. _Oh, that's me._ When I closed my mouth, the hiss escaping through my teeth stopped. It was Edward standing up that startled me. I glanced at the seven vampires eyeing me warily.

"Oh, sorry." I apologized while I straightened up.

My new family stood behind the opposite couch. Carlisle and Esme had their arms wrapped around each other, their expressions both concerned but curious. Rosalie was unreadable and Emmett eyed me like he was sizing me up. Maybe I could arm wrestle Emmett now.

Alice grinned at me happily. She was nearly bouncing with excitement. Holding her back was Jasper, who angled himself in front of her, like he was trying to protect her from something. Protect her from me, I realized.

I paused on Jasper. Bite marks were scattered across his skin. My instincts told me he looked dangerous. How had I not seen that before? I clenched up into a statue. He had told me stories from how he trained and handled newborns for battle then disposed of them. He, more than the others, knew the complications and dangers of newborns. Of someone like me. Jasper grinned slowly, understanding my natural fear, and I melted out of my stillness and grinned back.

 _-My Beau. He's controlling himself extraordinarily well.-_

My head swiveled towards Edward again.

"What happened?" I asked, still not used to the bell like sound in my voice. "I remember going to the Blacks." I closed my eyes as if that would help focus on the clouded memories. "I'm sorry about that. I tried to tell you while I was changing. I was being an idiot. You told me to stay put but I didn't listen."

"It's not your fault, Beau." Edward cocked his head to the side. _-How is he doing this?-_ "How were you supposed to know that Julie would shapeshift into a wolf that night? Don't take that upon yourself."

"Oh, so that really happened? I thought maybe that was a dream or something." My memories were hard to look at in my mind's eye, like they were covered in shadows.

"Yes, I was with the other wolves when it happened and heard Julie break through. I ran immediately to your side. There wasn't anything we could do. She cut you too deeply." Edward hung his head.

Carlisle stepped forward, my eyes flickered over to him warily. "You still have the scars on your chest." I twisted trying to feel them, but there wasn't any discomfort on its own.

"However, I don't think it should bother you. The closings seem to be fixed well enough. The scars won't worsen, but they won't fade away either. They are a part of you permanently."

I pulled my hand up under my shirt and felt the long indentations in my skin. There were a tiny gaps ranging up my chest in a line, in three sections. It felt like cracks in glass between my fingers.

"Well, shit." I muttered and then shrugged. "That's kind of cool though. Werewolf scars," I mulled it over in my head. "Now that's pretty badass."

Edward's exasperated chuckle made me smile.

I wasn't wearing these clothes that night. Someone must have changed me. What else did I miss when I was locked away in torment?

"Charlie." I started. "What did you tell Charlie?"

Alice wiggled around Jasper and stepped forward carefully, as not to surprise me. Her hand reached out towards me. It was a gesture of support. I wrapped my hand around hers. There weren't any differences between us.

"It's all over the news." Alice started carefully. "Edward's car malfunctioned while he was taking you home. At least that's what everyone believes. There were some hikers that died in the forest and we used their bodies in your place. There's going to be funeral for you and Edward in two days." She looked sad and then she bit her lip. I could tell she was debating over whether or not to tell me something more.

"My parents are coming in town. My mom." I guessed. Alice nodded. She looked so sorry.

"It's okay." I reassured her while I stared at our entwined hands. "While I was under, I spent most of the time processing it." I breathed in deeply, and got distracted by the raking sensation in my throat.

It felt like a cracking desert, dry and uncomfortable. I needed to do something about it. So fucking dry. I could really go for some. . . blood? Yeah. Blood sounds really good right now. Huh. My lips twitched back with longing. I pushed it to the side and rearranged my expression. Even when I imagined being a vampire, I had conveniently left this part out. The thought of blood in my human state made me nearly faint, but now it's all I wanted to think about. I had to focus very hard for it not to consume every thought.

"Process what?" Edward asked.

I saw his flickering gaze to my hand in Alice's. _-I should be holding his hand.-_

"I processed, you know, never seeing them again. I've already accepted it. Dying. Not being able to say goodbye. It's part of it, isn't it? Part of the pain. The sensation of being burned alive kind of gave me some perspective to think through." I shrugged, then ran a hand through my hair. I could feel every strand I touched. I was much more sensitive to everything. I could hear the quiet breathing of everyone in the room. I could see the small differences of pressure in the paint on the opposite side of the wall. The dust in the air. I could even see shadows. Like really see shadows, not just on the ground. I could see it like one could see light, but the the other way around.

Alice's small pressure on my hand felt nice. Edward seemed hesitant to get close to me, but I knew he wanted to. I thought about going to him, but I worried I wouldn't be able to control myself. I might do something indecent in front of his family. All my wants came so instantly now, I didn't want to slip.

Perhaps it was because I was thinking of my parents. I glanced at Carlisle and Esme. Esme smiled kindly at me and I was briefly overcome with the motherly love she bestowed in that expression. It was then that I realized, that to her, I was her child. Not just Edward's boyfriend that she cared about. I'm one of her children. I belonged in her family. I belonged to her like any of her children. Jasper cocked his head to the side and shared a glance with Edward.

- _He's doing this himself?-_

"Wow, there's a lot going on right now." I shook my head with all the information I was inputting. "I'm not used to this."

Carlisle spoke tenderly. "It's overwhelming at first. It's okay if you're a little disoriented. You'll get used to it."

"I can hear and see everything and my brain is having ten different conversations all at once." I stared at the ground and could see every fiber in the carpet. Amazing but way too much input. I felt overwhelmed.

I looked back at Esme. Her warm smile comforted me and I released my hand from Alice's. "Can I hug you?" I blurted out the question before my body responded to my want. I needed the permission. I knew they all thought I was a live wire right now and I didn't want to scare anybody.

Esme responded with a shocked expression, they all looked taken aback, but she opened her arms invitingly. Carefully, I strode over in what I hoped were slow measured steps, not wanting to startle her. My arms wrapped around Esme's back lightly. Only when I was sure I wouldn't use too much force, I leaned down and buried my head into her neck. I pulled her closer into me. The embrace was exactly what I needed. It made me feel contained when my mind just kept expanding out. She was grounding me, when every thing was so foreign and new.

"Oh, Beau." She patted my back. "It'll be okay."

Esme wasn't Renee. Esme could never be Renee. My mom was my best friend but she was never one to showcase any maternal instinct. I was the one taking care of her for most of my childhood. To have someone now, care about me the way Esme did, it felt. . . nice. I lost my parents forever, but I still had a family. That was amazing and I felt so incredibly lucky.

I picked Esme up and swung her around, spinning on my heels.

"Thank you." I said once I set her back down and stepped away. I grinned at her perplexed (but beaming) expression. Carlisle may be the head of the family. But Esme was the one that made it a family at all. Maybe one day, not now, but one day, I could call her mom too. It would be easy.

 _-I still can't read his mind. I wish I knew what he was thinking.-_

The burn in my throat flared up again and I swallowed it down. But that only made the dry ache worse. It needed to be coated. Coated with red. . . warm. . . fresh . . . blood. I closed my eyes and wrestled with my face again. _Blood._

"You need to hunt." Edward stated, gauging and accurately diagnosing me.

"Yes," Carlisle nodded in agreement. "We've been a terrible distraction. The thirst must be horrible. Hunting will help relieve the pain you're experiencing."

I stretched out my throat, tilting my head up, experimentally. I gauged how thirsty _it_ was. I viewed the thirst as a separate entity. I wasn't thirsty. _It_ was thirsty. "Yeah, that's pretty. . . uncomfortable."

A few of them chuckled.

"I bet it is." Jasper raised his eyebrow expectantly.

It helped to disassociate myself from the desire. "But, it's manageable." I blinked as if I could force it out of my mind. "I still have a lot of questions."

"Come on, Beau." Edward called gently. "We can go together if you want. You said before that you wanted to see me hunt. I can show you how." _-I want to be alone with him.-_

I turned to Carlisle needing more answers. "Is Jules okay?"

Carlisle looked confused at the question.

"Julie." I restated. "Bonnie's daughter. Is she okay? I know she didn't mean to." I traced the scars over my shirt. "I remember she looked pretty terrible." I tried to see through my shadowy memories. Sweat rolling down her face. The shaking.

"She's fine, Beau." Carlisle answered hesitantly. "It's not an easy thing, that first shift. She'll learn how to control it. It was bad timing that night."

I nodded. "Is Bonnie okay? I. . ." I held the memory up, like keeping a heavy door open. "I tried to protect her. Did it work? Is she okay?"

"Yes, Beau. You saved her life." Carlisle smiled.

"Good. Good." I breathed. At least I did one thing right.

 _-How? How are you doing this?-_

"Doing what?" I spun to face Edward and then I looked around myself. Maybe there was something on me I didn't notice. I couldn't find anything. I was pretty sure with my new eyes, I wouldn't miss anything.

Edward blinked. "What?"

"What?" I replied back.

We stared at each other with confusion. I didn't get it. I looked closer in his eyes.

"Oh." I breathed, startled by the vibrant red eyes reflecting back to me. "My eyes." I touched the darkened circle under my left eye as if that would help. "Well, that's unsettling." I murmured, controlling my own horror. These were not my blue bewildered eyes. These were the eyes of someone evil. These were the eyes of a villain.

"It goes away after a few months." Carlisle nodded in understanding. "It depends on your diet, of course. Your eyes will change to a more golden color if you hunt only animals. But they're going to be red like this for awhile. It's part of being a newborn."

I nodded. I knew this already.

"It's a lot of pressure to expect you to follow our rules." Edward said thoughtfully. "You should know you have options. Our family has decided on a difficult lifestyle. You didn't decide that though. If you want, I can take you far away. I can show you how to. . . I can point you towards humans that aren't innocent."

"Edward." Carlisle glared at his son.

"Beau needs to decide this for himself." Edward stated firmly.

"Edward, you know Beau." Carlisle sighed. "You know he's going to hold himself to a high standard. The other way won't be good enough for him. Like it wasn't for you."

I saw Edward about to make a rebuttal.

"No. It's okay." I cut Edward off. "Carlisle's right. I don't want to hurt anyone. I want to do it your way. You know, just animals." I squared my shoulders determined to make this work.

 _-Are you sure? You can change your mind.-_

"Yes, I'm sure." I sighed. "Why do you always question me?"

Edward bit his lip and his eyes narrowed. _-Beau?-_

"Yes?"

His tone was almost patronizing as he dragged out my name, _-Beau?-_

"What is it?" I said exasperated while looking at him closely.

He cocked his head to the side. His eyes were boring into mine with a feverish light. _-Beau, can you hear me?-_

"Uh, yeah, wha-"

Holy shit. I stared at him open mouthed. "You're-you're not talking." Dawning realization hit me slowly like a huge wave and I was swallowed whole in it before I knew what happened. Holy shit.

"Oh." I muttered and clasped my hand to my mouth in shock.

"Oh." Edward repeated with both eyebrows raised. _-Well. That's something.-_

"Yeah. That's something alright." I nodded.

"Oh no. No, no, no, no." Emmett grumbled. "Not you too."

"I don't understand." Esme whispered to Carlisle. "What's happening."

Edward held up a hand calling for silence.

 _-What's the capital of Montana?-_

I scrunched my face up. "I don't know. Isn't that the potato state or something?"

Edward smiled his lopsided grin. _-What year did Brittany shave her head?-_

"2007. A rough year for all of us."

Edward's grin broke out in a broad smile and he giggled. "Oh my god." He spun towards his family. "He. . . he can-" Edward turned back to me excitedly. The awe on his face was palpable. His thoughts were spastic and flying fast.

 _-Can you hear them?-_ He thought curiously.

My eyes flickered to the confused faces watching us closely. I tried. . . not sure what I should be trying. . . but I couldn't hear anything from them. I shook my head. "No. It's. . ."

"Just me." Edward finished my sentence. He clasped his hands together over his mouth with glee. _-Beau, I'm going to kiss you now.-_

The space between us disappeared. Our lips collided. Damn. Edward had been holding back with me, but he didn't now. All those kisses while I was human were nothing compared to the passion we shared now. _-You're amazing. I love you, Beau. I love you. I love you. I love you.-_ His hands cupped my face, while mine grabbed his waist and pulled him closer. Our lips moved powerfully together in perfect harmony. This alone was worth the suffering. Edward was mine. Edward was mine forever.

When Carlisle cleared his throat we broke apart. I wasn't blushing now. I wasn't embarrassed. I kept my hands at his waist. He wasn't getting away. "I love you too." I whispered into his hair. He laughed into my neck and the breath felt warm.

Rosalie groaned and rolled her eyes. "Okay, what's going on?" She finally asked.

"Beau," Edward started, his face still lit up with thrill. "Beau is reading my mind."

* * *

 **AN: Swerve!**

 **I'll get more into Beau's gift in the coming chapter(s). [The closer I get to finishing this story the more I'm like 'NO I HAVE MORE TO TELL']**

 **Tell me what you think or if you think I should have kept Beau's powers like Bella's. You won't hurt my feelings. I'm just interested in your opinions. Bella's power was all defense. Since Beau is male, I thought it would be fun to have his power be more aggressive but it works in similiar ways.**

 **Can we talk about how Beau, through this entire chappie, is literally just hungering for some blood, but he's being such a good little patient boy about it. Bless.**

 **Thank you for reading!**

 **\- Rosalie**


	28. Chapter 28: Animal (Part 1)

**Disclaimer: Shishlaimer. You guys know the drill.**

Chapter 28

Animal

Part 1

* * *

Beau's POV

* * *

"But he can only read yours? Why is that? Not that I mind of course. Like we really need another mind reader in this house." Rosalie questioned after the family had finished their initial reactions to the news. While Esme's eyes got big, Carlisle narrowed his with questions brewing in his head. Rosalie just cackled and Emmett rolled his eyes and groaned. Alice looked at Jasper. Jasper studied my every move, like a lab rat.

"What do you mean he can read your mind?" Esme looked between the both of us.

"I can hear his thoughts. I thought he was just talking at first. I didn't really understand what was happening."

Emmett laughed. "Edward's finally getting a taste of his own medicine. Now you get to see what it's like with zero privacy."

We were all standing in the living room. I had my arms still wrapped around Edward's waist but we were facing the same direction towards the rest of the family now. They were in a semicircle behind the couch.

Edward was giving me a quick run down of his philosophy on mind reading while the rest of his family talked to me. I could follow the two different conversations easily but it was so strange being able to process it all.

 _-You should know that not everything I think is what I would say. Sometimes thoughts just happen. The brain is the workspace. That's where people work through and process things. To take everything one thinks as a measure of their being. . . it wouldn't be accurate. It would be like taking an outline or rough draft as the final project.-_

"Beau, could you pick up on Edward's thoughts before?" Carlisle was trying to work out a theory. "Do you remember any special intuition?"

I shook my head, feeling the burn in my throat and ignoring it. "Nothing stands out, exactly. I mean, I got pretty good at knowing when he was trying to read my mind. But that's pretty obvious. His face does this cute little eyebrow thing." I shrugged and smiled at the dusty memories.

Edward flashed moments for me from his point of view. When I caught him trying to read my mind. It was strange seeing myself through his eyes. Seeing myself, my old self, but not seeing the same moments the same way. His memories were perfect clarity.

"Can you read my mind now?" I asked, leaning my head on his shoulder, but I already knew the answer. I heard him get distracted by my breath in his ear. Interesting.

 _-No, and I thought perhaps, if you were more like me, I could. If your brain worked like mine, maybe I could see into it._ \- Edward sighed and shook his head but he was still buzzing with delight.

"Maybe that's it then." I started my hunch. "Maybe it's like, I'm not just blocking your ability, but I'm turning it around back at you. Like a mirror." I said slowly, the words sounded dumb coming out of my mouth, but it made at least a little sense. "Which would explain why I can't read anyone else's. I can't even hear you hearing them, unless you're thinking about it."

Carlisle hummed thoughtfully.

Edward glanced up at him, reading his mind. "That's a good idea. We should take him to Eleazar." _-Carlisle's old friend in Denali.-_ "Eleazar's ability is to know other vampire's ability. He'll know how yours works." _-Unless of course you block him too. Which would still confirm your theory.-_ "What if you can do this with other powers like mine? _-Oh, Beau. This is amazing.-_

Edward talked to me back and forth between speaking to me in my mind and speaking out loud. His thoughts were zooming and it was disorienting trying to keep up, but I followed along. There was space enough in my brain for it all.

"Guys." Jasper cut in, always keeping an eye on me. "I think you're getting ahead of yourself. Beau's doing a very good job, and reading Edward's mind is fascinating and all, but let's not forget, Beau is a fresh newborn who hasn't hunted yet."

Seven pairs of eyes focused on me out of sympathy.

"It's fine." I bit my lip embarrassed. "I don't want to interrupt."

Jasper looked me up and down like I had gills and tutted.

It was true though. I was fine, but my throat was killing me. I felt desperate for blood. Just thinking about it: A big juicy vein pulsating under an exposed neck. . . I rolled my eyes and groaned. If I waited much longer, I don't think I could stand around and talk. The desire was overwhelming despite how much I ignored it. I straightened out again.

"It's fine." But my eye twitched, betraying me.

 _-I'm sorry, Beau. I got excited. Of course you're thirsty.-_ "How does hunting with me sound?"

I nodded enthusiastically, but regretted the movement. It caused friction, scratching my already desert of a throat. "Yeah, that sounds good." How was my voice still so smooth when my throat was on fire? "I'm sorry. It's just, wow, I. . . " Opening my lips and letting my teeth cut into skin. I shook the thought away. "I can manage it though, I think."

 _-What? Beau. What do you mean, manage it?- "_ Come on, grab my hand. I'll take you hunting."

He saw my look of hesitation. _-Don't worry. It's easy. Hunting is very natural. You'll see.-_

I obeyed then.

Hand in hand, he guided me out of the house and into the woods. _-Okay. We're going to run now.-_ He glanced back at my wary expression and laughed. "Don't worry about it. It'll be easy. Come on."

Edward zipped ahead. He would have been a blur with my old eyes but I saw his every step and every swing of the arm. I took a deep breath and let myself want to follow him. I willed myself to to close the gap between points A and B. But B was moving faster than I could.

"Wow." The wind blew my hair as I speed to catch up to Edward. I wasn't getting tired. I wasn't out of breath. I didn't need to breath if I really didn't want to. It was pure freedom. _-He's a natural.-_

We chased each other deep into the forest. We trekked further into the woods, closing in on a mountain range. Edward stopped suddenly and held up a hand for me to stop too. _-Do you smell that?-_

I inhaled.

Moss. Dirt. Leaves. Fur.

Beneath the fur.

Blood.

 _Blood._ My mouth began to pool with saliva.

The smell of a large heavy predator. I could hear it stalking some mice and paying no mind to its other surroundings.

"That's a mountain lion." Edward informed. "What do you want to do with it?"

My eyes sharpened, and my throat burned with desire. I replied with a rumbling darkness. "I want to fucking rip into it and drink it's blood in one big gulp."

I thought my intense response would shock Edward. He just grinned and I saw him bring forth memories of himself hunting. How he would give in to the desires and switch into a different mode. A killing mode and let the smell of blood drive him.

 _-Stop fighting it. Lean in.-_

Like a slingshot, the tension holding me back snapped. I let myself go. I flew towards the smell, closing the gap between me and the poor beast. Growling, I leaped through the air and when I came down, I tackled the animal to the ground. It let out a surprised guttural sound as my teeth ripped into the jugular, and then the mountain lion went limp in my clutches. The blood that passed through my lips tasted . . . _good_. I didn't think about what I was doing. I didn't think about the way I had just killed a fucking mountain lion and was fucking drinking it's blood. It felt wonderful down my throat, like aloe to a sunburn. That's all that mattered. Oh, thank god. I moaned at the relief.

While I was finishing up sucking the creature for all it had to offer, I saw myself through Edward's eyes. He was leaning on a tree and observing me.

 _-Hmm. Interesting.-_ He mused. I saw his view of me: Hunched over the animal, my red eyes gleaming and rolling with relief while blood trickled down my face, staining my shirt. I looked scary. I looked like the bad guy in the alley way you were afraid of. Like the creature in the night that haunted your dreams and turned them into nightmares.

I tossed the drained animal to the side and wiped my face off with my arm.

 _-I didn't expect this.-_

"Expect what?" I sauntered over to him, feeling much more in control of my emotions now that I had fed properly.

"I didn't expect. . ." _-To like it.-_

"What do you like?" My lips curled into a smile.

 _-Watching you take down that mountain lion.-_ Edward turned his face to the side and stuck his hands in his pockets, coyly. He leaned further against the tree, giving off James Dean vibes.

"Oh yeah?" I felt exhilarated by my hunt and the confidence seeped over. I planted my hand on the tree beside his head. "I didn't scare you?" I trapped him between my hands.

"Nn-nno." Edward stuttered. _Edward_ stuttered. I raced over his thoughts, but they started blurring together.

"Hmm. That won't do." I hummed. "Don't you know I'm a vampire?" I whispered menacingly in his ear then swiveled my nose up and down the side of his face. "I'm very scary now."

-Oh, Beau.- Edward shuddered while I dragged my lips across his cheek.

"Are you scared now?" I growled.

Edward's lips turned up to one side. "Terrified."

I tackled him to the ground and pressed my lips to his neck.

"Gotcha." I growled. I felt him struggle playfully in my grasp. I swung him on his back and straddled him, pinning his arms to the ground. I roared triumphantly and the sound that came out surprised me. I sounded like an animal. In my moment of celebration and shock, Edward flipped me over and then we grappled for control. I let him wrestle me on the forest floor. We left trampled bushes and broken small trees in our wake. We kicked up dirt and shook the leaves off of plants and trees.

Clearly I was stronger than he was but he was still faster. I could read his next actions and I started blocking him. But his quick movements were too fast and Edward would get the upperhand. Sometimes I would let him, but he was very skilled. We twisted and rolled together. Twigs and leaves tangled into his bronze hair. Our laughter echoed in the forest.

After struggling for several minutes and gaining no advantage, I shoved him away and rolled into a crouch. We stared at each across a small distance, both of us ready to pounce. Edward could finally be himself around me. He didn't have to be careful. He didn't have to think about keeping me alive. What I saw before me was unfiltered and unfettered. Pure, raw, Edward. He was amazing. He was mine. _-Hmm. You're extremely dirty. Perhaps you should ditch the clothes.-_

I licked my lips, wanting more. I pounced up into the air and then I smelled it.

Blood.

Blood 10 times better than the creature I just drained. _It_ took over instantly. There was no contest. My brain switched over to hunt and feed mode.

Mid-flight, I changed my course of direction. I was being pulled towards the human. Rich. Fresh. Human. Blood. My venom pooled in my mouth. The ache in my throat screamed at me, unsatisfied next to the potential of this coating down my thirst. I could hear the human walking alone in the woods perhaps half a mile away. I could hear his heavy breathing. I wanted to put an end to that. I was so close now. Rip. Tear. Kill. Drink.

"No!" I heard Edward scream behind me. Or did he think it? It was hard to tell during the chase.

I was getting closer. Soon my teeth would sink into that pinky flesh. My body became electric with the need.

 _-Beau, stop. Think about what you're doing. No. NO. NO.-_

I whip tailed around. Edward was right behind me and the roar that escaped my lips wasn't playful or flirtatious. I sunk into an attack position and I hissed out in warning.

I saw myself through his eyes. Murderous. Out of Control. An animal. Not Beau.

He stepped forward as if to grab me. As if to stop me.

 _I don't think so._

I lunged at him and threw him to the ground, while I twisted his arm. I snarled and hissed the whole time.

His face contorted. Edward yelped in pain. _-Ow.-_ I heard the pain ricochet in his mind. I was then able to shove _it,_ the thing that drove my thirst, out of the driver's seat.

I blinked. "Oh. Oh no." What just happened? Everything was fine. We were just messing around and then. . . _it_ took over.

* * *

 **AN: Thanks for reading!**

 **You guys make my day. I'm so glad you like my little story.**

 **-Rosalie**


	29. Chapter 29: Animal (Part 2) M

**Disclaimer: I don't own these characters.**

 **Warning: Homoerotic lemons, from here on out, but if you made it this far, then you're probably cool with that.**

 **AN: I wrote and rewrote this chapter. . . and I think it's finally good enough to share. So I'm just gonna post it. No take backsies.**

 **Thank you for reading! - Rosalie *twirls away and hopes that you like it***

* * *

Chapter 29 (M)

Animal

(Part 2)

* * *

Beau's POV

* * *

I snapped back into a standing position. "Edward? I'm so sorry. Are you okay?" I wanted to help him get up but I was afraid of my own strength. So I backed away when I wanted to go to him.

He carefully picked himself up off the ground and dusted his pants off to no avail. We were both caked with dirt.

"You stopped." Edward muttered eyeing me curiously.

"What happened?" I shook my head still confused.

 _-Beau, you started the hunt for a human. And you stopped. That's incredible.-_

"I hurt you." My tone was pleading for forgiveness. "I'm so sorry."

"Beau, Beau, Beau." He was smiling. "What you just did was amazing."

I shook my head to disagree. Then his hands were on my face to stop me. They guided me to look at him.

"Beau, I've never seen someone stop mid hunt on the first day. That takes an impressive amount of control. Not even Carlisle did that." He laughed. _-I'm not good enough for him.-_

"But I hurt you." I pulled away from his grasp and backed up. I didn't want to touch him. I could hurt him. I already had.

"I'm fine. Really, I'm fine. Beau, I'm so proud of you. You're taking to this life so well." _-He's amazing. Everything about him. God, even when he's stained with blood and dirt he looks irresistible.-_

I was stunned. I thought I had just done a very bad thing, but Edward was in awe. He was in awe of me?

The smell of human still permeated my nostrils and I was having a hard time balancing my desires. I could still hear the human walking and his breath. I was holding _it_ very carefully in a mental vice but I wasn't sure how long I could when I was this close. I didn't want to lose control. I didn't want to hurt Edward again.

"Is that what I smelled like?" I scrunched up my nose.

"Yes, that's what you all smell like. Except your scent was even more pulling than that for me."

I shook my head. "You kissed that? That's disgusting. You wanted to be with that? Ew."

 _-It was pretty crazy.-_

"How could you handle it?"

Edward stepped forward and grabbed my hand. "Because you were and are my Beau. And I love you, no matter what."

"Gross." I laughed, but I felt touched. Edward had suffered through the torment of loving a human. Every touch had to be controlled. Every instinct had to be suppressed. Even just being in my presence was a struggle. I had been a yummy walking blood sack. While the entire time I always viewed Edward as a god. I still do.

I saw his thoughts and what he wanted to do. He wanted to kiss me again but I held up a hand.

"Can, um. . . . can we leave? It's very humany up in here and I'm not sure how long I can take it."

"Of course, Beau. I'm sorry." He still eyed me curiously. _-Amazing.-_ "Would you like to hunt some more?"

My dry throat answered for me. "Yes. Is that normal? I just fed. Don't you guys only hunt every other week or so?"

"It's completely normal, Beau. You're going to be thirstier than we are. You should hunt as much as you want. It helps." I saw him struggle with something. "I'm sorry."

It was only then that I saw the guilt he was hiding from me. It escaped and the torrent of self loathing followed after it.

"Woah, Edward. Edward. Stop."

He tutted and folded his hands in his pockets. "You weren't supposed to hear that."

"Why are you sorry? What's wrong?"

"It's just. I don't like to see you uncomfortable or in pain. And there's nothing I can do." - _I did this to you.-_ "It's my fault. I'm the reason why. . ." _-I'm the reason why you're thirsty and in pain.-_ "I'm sorry."

I leaned forward. "You're the reason why I'm alive. Never be sorry for that." Edward had always told me not say 'sorry' unless I mean it. "Unless," Doubt creept in as I felt the full weight of Edward's guilt. "Unless, oh." I wanted to fall to my knees as my new theory hit me in my gut. "Unless you are sorry that I'm alive."

 _-What-_ "WHAT?" Edward jumped in front of my face. "What on earth would possess you to accuse me of something so preposterous?" He was staring daggers into me which didn't prove me wrong.

"You agreed to change me, yeah. But you always thought I would change my mind. I can see that now. You thought I would change my mind. You never really thought I would be one of you. You never actually wanted me to stick around."

"Beaufort Swan." Edward hissed and put a finger to my mouth. "If you say something so ridiculous again, I will fight you. In fact, I kind of want to punch you right now."

I laughed.

"I'm serious, Beau. That was utter nonsense."

I pulled Edward's finger from my mouth. "Then why are you so ashamed?"

"I'm feeling guilty because" _-Because I don't have to look forever in the eyes alone.-_ "For the first time. . . " _-I look at you and I feel that maybe I'm not the monster I saw myself as, because you're incredible.-_ "But I had to drag you into this life to see that. And I want you. I want you in every way possible and I feel guilty because if you never met me, your family wouldn't be grieving your death right now. I get to keep you, if you'll have me, but I took you away from everything."

I sighed and put my hand on the side of his neck. "You are everything to me."

 _-Oh, stop it.-_

I grinned. "And you're wrong. My family would be grieving my death. I would have died weeks ago without you." I wrapped my arms around him and ducked my head into his neck. "I wanted this life. I wanted this life with you. Don't be sorry."

"I just wish there was something I could do." Edward bit his lip.

"You can take me away from this goddamn human for starters. And I would still like to see you hunt. You promised me that I could see that."

 _-Oh, that's right.-_ Edward touched my cheek gently then grabbed my hand. "Let's go hunting together."

After several minutes of running Edward stopped on a dime.

"Close your eyes." _-Inhale. Do you smell that?-_

Dirt. Moss. Water. Fur.

Fur. Beneath the fur. Blood. _Blood._ I felt my mouth fill with saliva hungrily. I heard several loud thudding heartbeats. Moist with blood. Hooves pawed at the ground.

Deer. I knew it before Edward could inform me. He motioned for me to follow his lead. We crept silently through the forest. Four deer were lazily trekking through a trail they had created themselves. Their heavy wet breath was kind of revolting. I wanted to end it.

Edward stalked behind a tree. His movements were quiet but dominant. He looked so comfortable and regal. I heard his mind switch over from the Edward I knew to the Edward I saw on the hunt. I observed as he gracefully pounced so quickly at the closest deer the others didn't know what had happened. I watched as he fed. He was so graceful in his powerful movements it took my breath away.

The creature that died in his grasp was lucky. At least luckier than the one that I took down shortly afterwards before the whole herd got spooked. I leaned in to my throat's desire and let _it_ take control. I tried to pounce like Edward had, but I had to latch on twice to the jugular because the first time I bit all the way through and I had to spit out a chunk of skin. Yuck.

Edward laughed and I gave him the finger without looking. He laughed harder. The blood felt good down my throat and I forgot about my transgressions.

I couldn't distinguish the differences in taste yet. I knew the deer's blood wouldn't make the ache in my throat go away for long, but the relief was delicious. I wanted more.

When I finished I stood back up and wiped my mouth off. Edward joined me.

"I didn't look too foolish did I?"

Edward shook his head. "Not at all. You remind me of a wolf, actually. Emmett hunts like a bear. They say I hunt like a mountain lion. You. . ." -You _hunt like a wolf.-_ He replayed both of my attacks and I heard him making notes about my technique, comparing them to the wolves he's seen attacking their prey.

I grinned and howled into the forest. "Arwooooooooooo!" A flock of birds took flight at the noise. Edward punched my shoulder.

"What? I did get scratched by a werewolf." I shrugged playfully and raised my eyebrows. "Maybe I'm half wolf now. You ever see Underworld?"

Edward rolled his eyes. _-Is that the one where they shoot bullets with ultra violet rays at vampires?-_

I nodded and grinned.

Edward laughed and grabbed my hand. "Come on, wolf boy. Let's take you back to the house." He pulled a leaf out of my hair and brushed some dirt off my cheek. "You're a mess."

"Well, you're filthy." I quipped back.

Edward nodded. "True. True." _-We could go for a swim in the ocean.-_ His thoughts curled suggestively. In his mind's eye was a small secluded cove. The waves crashed on the rocks softly. Edward shrugged casually just as I spied articles of clothing left haphazardly on his beach. "There might be some awkward questions if we go back to the house looking like this."

My shirt was bloodstained and ripped from the branches and bramble. There was a light layer of dust on Edward's clothes. His arms were caked in dirt and mud and there was a tear on his sleeve from when I had attacked him. No. It would be weird traipsing back to the house. A house full of other vampires wanting to look at me and inspect me. Asking what I killed, why we were both so dirty, etc etc. Edward would probably tell them about the human incident. I didn't want to be viewed like a bomb. There are so many in that house. So many reactions to look out for.

 _-We don't have to go back yet.-_ Edward wanted more time alone with me. It was a shared interest. _-Technically, we don't ever have to go back.-_

I recognized that last thought as part of Edward's "rough draft" thought process. Obviously we would go back. But not yet.

/-/-/-/

The sun light glittered on the water and it shimmered on my skin. I looked down at my reflection from the cliff rock I jumped up on. I paused to look at myself. My new self. It was one thing to see myself through Edward's eyes. It was another thing to see it for myself. I looked like I had been cut out from the world's largest diamond by the best artist found in history. My feature's were chiseled and refined around my long face. My eyebrows were thick with more defined arches than I remembered. I still took up the same shape as I had before. Like someone took a cast of me, originally made of clay and then filled it in with iron. I was completely different. . . but still somehow the same.

"Do you miss my eyes?" I asked curiously twirling my finger in a shallow pool of water on the ground, watching the ripples. Edward laid on his side, always looking at me. I saw his memories of the first time he saw me in the lunch room. How my sky blue eyes glanced his way and darted back to the table.

I heard him wrestle over my question and then get embarrassed because he knew I could hear that.

"I can tell if you lie." I grinned and glanced at him.

"Yeah, I now know what my poor family has to deal with." Edward sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Well?"

He answered in thought but I wanted to hear him say it. "Yes." He said slowly. "They were my favorite color." He sat up and traced a finger under my right eye. "But, you know." He smiled his lopsided smile. "Red is growing on me." His hand moved down on my face and his lips locked onto mine. We kissed deeply. Our lips chased each other like a slow dance. Without parents or siblings as witnesses, I let loose and clawed on top of Edward. My hands roamed over his chest. Edward's tongue asked for entrance and I gasped my lips open. Our tongues explored each other's. I could taste the ghost of blood from our recent hunt. It only made me want him more. I growled softly in my throat and pressed myself harder onto him.

Edward's thoughts blurred and slurred together. I couldn't tell where one started and where one began. As we continued making out, there was one thought that came to the forefront. . _-". . .A year and a half."-_ I didn't expect to hear Esme's voice in this moment.

"Uh, what?" I pulled my lips away and pressed off of him. Edward rolled his eyes.

 _-Oh, that's annoying. You weren't supposed to hear that.-_

"Well, I did." I still hovered over him, locking him to the ground. "Explain why you're thinking about mom right now." He noticed how I didn't specify "his" mom.

Edward groaned and sighed. "When you were changing, Esme was rearranging my room. And she thought about whether or not we needed a bed. She decided against it because it took her a year and a half to. . . to. . . " _-want sex-_

"Huh. So?" I scrunched up my eye brows. I knew there was a reason he was thinking about this now.

"So I was wondering, I guess, if that's something you. . . if it's too soon for you too."

"Oh." Edward was asking if I was ready to have sex. I pondered seriously over his question, deciding the best and most thorough way to articulate my response. "I am only hesitant because I don't want to lose control. I don't want to hurt you again. But I do want you. Desperately. Do you realize how sexy you are?"

-I'm _sexy?-_ Edward was about to respond but I held a finger up.

"Esme and Carlisle didn't know each other in that way when she was changed. They had to get to know each other on top of the whole 'Oh yeah, you're a vampire now' thing." I guessed. "We're different. I fell in love with you before I became a vampire. I knew what I was getting into. And knowing Carlisle and Esme. . . they probably wanted to get married first too."

"Yes." Edward agreed and nodded, but his mind wandered. _-[Beau and Edward wearing different tuxes, holding hands at the front of a church. Next to Beau, Alice held a bouquet. Carlisle stood by Edward's side with the rings.]-_

Then Edward caught himself and cut me off before I could ask. "Work-space, remember? It's just something I've been thinking about." He shrugged.

"You want to marry me?" I couldn't hide the shock in my voice. Honestly, I didn't expect that. I hadn't thought about it at all. But, I could see how important this was to him. Marriage to Edward was something he was always jealous of. He held the union in high regard, but it was always out of his reach. Now that he had me, and the court system on his side, he wanted it very badly.

Edward's eyes softened and he became so vulnerable. "Is that really so ridiculous?" I found myself continuing his fantasy in my own head. _Spending our honeymoon somewhere remote. Edward's left hand gripping mine in passion. Rings on both of our fingers._

"No. It's not ridiculous. I am stealing your last name after all." I muttered. Lightly, I pressed back down on to him and rested my head on his chest.

He wrapped his arms around me gently. "Not stealing. I want you to take my name." Edward admitted. Then I heard him try out _my_ name. _-Swan. Edward Swan.-_ I grinned into his chest.

A feeling spread within me deeper than anything I had ever felt before. Stronger than the pain in my throat. Stronger than the lust residing below my waist. Stronger than my initial feelings for Edward. This love I felt was timeless. It knew no age limits or time periods. This love was everlasting. I propped myself up and stared deep in Edward's eyes. Though marriage wasn't important to me, Edward was. I would do anything for him because my love was bigger than me.

"Edward." My voice barely raised above a whisper but it was heavy with importance. I touched his face. "The first time I saw you, I thought that whoever you, that beautiful pale god across the room, married, would be the luckiest person in the world." I took a deep breath. "And I'm feeling awfully lucky right now." I grinned and Edward practically melted under my gaze. I sat up and waited for Edward to do the same. Then I clasped his hands in mine. "Edward Anthony Masen, will you marry me?"

His lips crushed against mine and he flipped me onto my back. "Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes." Edward answered between kisses. "Yes." I twisted my fingers into his bronze hair and pulled him closer. "Yes." I wanted to occupy the same space as him, defying physics. I couldn't get close enough. "Yes." I pulled his shirt up. "Yes." _-Oh my god. Just rip it off.-_

The rags of his shirt were in my fists in the next second. I pulled away just enough to gaze at his exposed chest. It was blinding in the sunlight. I traced lightly over his muscles. My grip got harder over his pectorals. "Yes." Edward breathed sharply. And his lips found mine again. I rolled back over onto him and his fingers snaked up my shirt. The buttons popped open. I shrugged out of it, never losing contact with his mouth, or his neck, or his cheek, or his chest. Our tongues groped each other hungrily while Edward's hands explored my chest. They traced along my scars and I felt him smile in our kiss.

I pulled away and locked his head down so he couldn't follow me up. I needed to ask him a serious question. "You don't want to wait do you?"

Edward barked a laugh and then his eyes narrowed. "I'm done waiting."

Skillfully, Edward unbuckled my pants and I kicked them off. Edward rolled over on top of me and I assisted him on the removal of his jeans. We paused and took a moment to fully appreciate each other's body. We were still covered with the remnants of our time wrestling on the forest floor.

Edward grinned wickedly. Before I could see his plan, Edward rolled us both off the rock cliff and into the ocean. _-Don't breathe.-  
_ The irony wasn't lost on me. His first command while we were human was "don't move". I could move freely now. In fact, I felt like I was flying in the water. The water, a cold temperature, would have made my human self shiver, but it felt good on my skin now. I blinked my eyes open and watched as the currents played with Edwards hair, tossing his bronze locks back and forth. It was weird not breathing, but not uncomfortable and I think that is what made not breathing so strange-How normal it was. With my sense of smell rendered useless down here, I was in no danger of losing control.

As we started sinking to the bottom, Edward twisted around me. I felt his erection drag across my waist. Our cocks touched each other on accident and I couldn't stop the electric shudder that passed through me. I grabbed my erection and rubbed it against Edward's shaft. He moaned and an air bubble floated towards the surface. I giggled and produced several.

Edward leaned back in and we continued to make out while our cocks got to know each other.

 _-Question.-_ Edward managed a coherent thought, while he kept his mouth firmly onto mine. We couldn't talk down here, but we didn't need to. His hands lowered down to my waist and he moved my hips in small thrusting motions. _-How do you want to do this? Well, I never. . . I'm not quite sure what to do.-_

It was time that he followed my lead. I called the shot. My mouth twisted into a grin against his lips. Then I raised my hand to grasped the top of his head and began pushing down. He obeyed. _-Yes. Whatever you want. I'll give you anything.-_

His mouth trailed down past my chin, to my neck, then traced along my scars down to the ache of my cock. I rolled my eyes back as Edward's tongue wrapped around me there. Holy shit. One hand still on Edward's head and the other I used to grip onto Edward's shoulder. I could feel the water swarm around us. If we were human, perhaps we would be caught in an undertow, but it didn't bother us. Nothing could stop us.

Our movements and wants were so aligned. I could read Edward, of course, but he was pleasing me and giving me everything that I ever wanted. His mouth was doing some damn good work.

When I couldn't take it anymore, I pulled Edward up to his feet. My hand rubbed between his legs. My fingers circled around his entrance. He moaned and small air bubble floated to the surface. _-Yes. I need you. I want you to fill me.-_

A different kind of _it_ took over. Not a bloodthirsty killing it. A horny sex craved animal awoke. I shoved Edward around and pushed him down so he was bending over. He was on his knees and elbows. I rubbed myself across his ass. Edward trembled but held the position steady. I tested the waters so to speak and fingered him. His back arched and he groaned deep in his throat.

 _-I'm ready.-_ Edward thought coherently for me. I picked his hips up and aligned them closer to mine. I penetrated him slowly at first. My crown dipped into him gently. The ocean water around us acted as a lubricant. Smart. Edward grunted, taking me on. God, he was so tight. I stuffed myself into him. Then, I lost myself in his tight depths. He clutched fistfuls of sand but it didn't help to steady himself. I put one arm on his shoulder and pulled him deeper onto me. I could register pain in his thoughts, but it was the type of pain that really made you feel good. _-More.-_

I rocked back and forth and I loved the way he responded both physically and mentally. I was fucking Edward. _I'm literally fucking Edward._ Holy hell. _I'm fucking Edward on the ocean floor._ Nothing made sense. My existence didn't make sense but now was not the time to question it.

 _-Yes.-_ I gripped his ass and spread it wider. God, it felt good riding him like this. His pleasure only amplified my own. I hunched over onto him and gripped my hands to his. My head dug into his shoulder blade while I kept thrusting into him. I reached around his waist and started jacking him off. He moaned again and a wave of pleasure bounced between us. _-Yes.-_ I had never known pleasure like this before. It was coming at me from all sides. I could get addicted.

I flipped Edward onto his back. I wanted to see his face. He blinked in surprise and then gripped his legs open for me. I fucked him even harder and watched his face contort in response. I reminded him of an animal. I felt like an animal. As if to prove it, I growled in my throat. Edward liked that, his dick responded in desire and I continued to rub him harder. My cock pounded into him deeper and faster. _-Yes.-_ I was nearing the edge and my movements became desperate to reach that cliff.

We began cumming at the same time. _-Yes. Yes. Yes. YES.-_ Our bodies clenched in unison as we both hit a climax. I pulled out of Edward and the water washed away our cum. The pleasure of finishing together radiated throughout me. I could hear it echo in Edward. I had never experienced such satisfaction. With Edward in my head, I felt it twice. _-Oh, Beau. You're incredible.-_

It felt weird not taking a deep breath in recovery. There was no recovery. There was no need to breath. Grinning at each other silently, I gestured for us to swim to the surface.

As we broke through, Edward picked me up into his arms and carried me to the rocky beach.

"Can we do that again?" I asked between Edward's lips.

He laughed and ran his hand through my wet hair. "We only have forever."

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 **AN: I could end it there.**

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 **( _but I won't_ )**


	30. Chapter 30: Treetops (M)

**Disclaimer: I don't own these characters.**

 **Warning: Homoerotic lemons, but if you made it this far, then you're probably cool with that.**

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Chapter 30:

Treetops

* * *

Edward's POV

* * *

The vast forest stretched beneath us. Beau and I perched atop a tall tree and gazed at the little lights blinking about two miles away, signifying the small town of Forks. We could see every detail perfectly, despite the distance. Beau dangled his legs over the branch and glanced at the ground far below.

"Was I afraid of heights in my old life? I can't remember."

"You avoided heights. You were terribly clumsy."

He hummed. "That makes sense. Yeah, okay." Beau squeezed my hand. "Can I see more memories while we wait?"

I pulled on my lopsided grin that I knew Beau loved and rubbed my thumb over his hand.

 _Hmm._ "Do you have a preference?"

This had become one of our favorite things to do together in quiet moments. I would revisit memories and Beau could watch them play out like a movie.

"More of Alice?"

I flipped through different interactions with her I thought Beau would like. Even just the trivial daily minutia, Beau seemed to enjoy. It brought him peace and I loved how intently he wanted to know me through my mind.

Beau understood me like no one else could. I wasn't alone anymore in more ways than one. I felt complete with Beau. And honestly, I loved the quiet that he provided. It didn't frustrate me anymore that I couldn't read his mind. My brain didn't have to organize his voice. I didn't have to read into everything with him. I was prone to overthinking, but Beau in his stillness created a space for me relax.

I used to want to know every little thing that he was thinking and it tortured me that I couldn't breach whatever barrier was around him. I had been insecure. I didn't need that ability to know that Beau loved me just as much as I loved him. I could just let it be. Ah, the freedom of letting it go and accepting things as they are. Beau carried my favorite quiet meadow with him.

Back at the beach, I worried that perhaps, where he was my solace, I was his storm. I wasn't a quiet space for him and I was worried that he would start to overanalyze me. Maybe he would find something he didn't like. Maybe he would get bored with my constant stream of consciousness.

"You know that's not true, right?" Beau jumped from the rock cliff down to the beach to my side. He arched so gracefully in the air. His body curved like an arrow to its target. He landed right in front of me without so much of a sound. Bullseye. "It's very comforting actually to listen to you in my head. The cadence of your thought patterns are very soothing, like a lullabye."

"But I don't stop. What happens when you get tired of the same song?" I leaned my head into his shoulder. "I get frustrated enough at the house. There have been times when I had to leave just because I couldn't stand it anymore. I don't want that to happen to you and for this to come between us." I could see it happening. Maybe one day I would think something he didn't like and we would argue about it and he would grow to resent me.

Beau rolled his eyes. "Well, I'm not a psychic. I can't see the future but I know you, Edward." He gently placed his palm to the side of my cheek and held my face in his hand. "I know you. I love you. Nothing can change that. Not intrusive thoughts, or boredom, or anything."

I sighed and nodded.

"You're going to have to trust me." Beau spoke solemnly. "You're going to have to believe me that I'm not going to run. Ever. I asked you to marry me, for goodness sake."

"I know. I know." I sighed.

"I know you know. But I need you to believe." Beau leaned down and pressed his lips to my clavicle. Our clothes were still strung out on the rock cliff above, what was left of them anyway. "Believe me." He whispered into my chest as his head began to sink downwards. Oooh good lord.

 _I do._

He knelt in front of me, palms still on my chest and stomach. His head lowered to my dick that started to erect in anticipation.

"Trust me." Beau murmured. His dangerous red eyes gauged my response. _I do._

I gasped as his tongue danced along my shaft. His mouth rubbed over the lip of my head, pulling at all the right sensations. He felt surprisingly soft. I moaned outwardly as he bobbed his head on my throbbing dick. Our underwater lovemaking was amazing, but I forgot how fun it was to moan into the sensations. To hear an audible reaction, even my own. My dick thickened up, primed and ready for round two.

"Trust me." He whispered darkly around my dick.

 _I do._

"Believe me."

 _I do._

Beau smoldered up at me and a tingling sensation spread throughout my body.

"Fuck me."

I grinned wickedly. _As you wish._ Then I dug my finger into his mouth. He sucked on it obediently.

When I pulled my finger out, saliva dripped off of it. _I'm going to need you to turn around please._

Beau smiled at my politeness and spun excitedly. I got down on his level and rubbed my wet finger into his ass. He inhaled sharply. I needed these queues. They were my only signs that I was doing the right thing at the right time.

He planted his chest into the ground, while his face turned to the side. His arms reached back on both sides and spread his ass cheeks for me. _Oh my god. You're so tempting.  
_

I was nearly humming with desire. I pressed my cock onto the back of his thigh and dragged it up to his crack. He pushed back onto my hips hungrily.

 _Easy boy._ I chuckled at his enthusiasm. _This is a pretty big load to take all at once._

I could almost hear his responding eye roll.

I slipped more fingers into him, getting him used to the stretch. He moaned into the sand under his face. I licked my fingers to lubricate them some more.

The great thing about being a vampire was not having to worry about disease or cleanliness. All the normal human bodily functions were virtually eliminated in the transformation. Vampires only did three things: feed, fight, and fuck. Our bodies were streamlined for those purposes.

I plunged four fingers harder back into him and he arched his back and gasped. "Ah." Then he began purring in his chest.

 _Are you ready?_

He nodded. "Mhm." He perked his ass up like an offering.

For so long I had to control myself around Beau. I held back when a normal teenager would have pushed forward. I could never have let loose or let my thoughts wander like I wanted them to. He had been so breakable. I could never entertain the idea of "rough."

Now.

Beau was indestructible. He was the one that made _me_ feel safe. I didn't have to worry about killing him accidently. I didn't have to control my movements. I could lose myself with him. I could throw out my old mantra of "mind over matter."

Here he was, my beautiful delicious Beau. Strung out before me, naked and vulnerable and begging. And I could do very bad things to him.

 _I'm going to fuck you now._

Beau bit his lip in anticipation and braced himself.

The head of my cock wiggled into him. Once I was sure I would fit, I slammed my dick into his ass. He cried out in a mixture of pain and pleasure. I hesitated once.

"Don't stop." He grunted pleadingly. "Don't stop."

With his permission I let go of all restraint and began fucking him wildly. I guess I had a lot of energy pent up over 100 years and I unleashed it all at once. I crouched over him and roared like a beast while pleasant fires spread throughout my loins. Beau collapsed beneath me and spread his arms out in front of him in a deep bowing position. He maintained a steady stream of moans and obscenities.

God, Beau did crazy things to my body. I wanted to do crazy things to him. I felt wild and free and impossible.

I grabbed his shoulders from underneath and picked him up. I was always thrusting into him. God, his ass took me so well. I stood up, bouncing him on my dick.

 _I want to try something._

Beau nodded, too distracted to form an actual response. Then he must have seen what I had planned and he turned wildly around. "Wait, what?"

Too late. I flung him into the air like a football and then I leapt after him. He barked out in laughter and reached his hand out to me to pull me back to him while he was still flying in the air. I reconnected my cock into him mid air and while we started plummeting to the ground I shoved it into him. He grunted through clenched teeth. We crashed into a tree on our way back down but it didn't stop us. Beau actually tried to use the trunk as support but ended up crushing it in his arms.

"Oh. Whoops." We both chuckled between our desperate panting. We ended up falling a lot of trees actually. We kept rolling around, too focused on each other to notice our surroundings. I was getting too close to orgasm to care.

"Oh, Beau." I panted, while my hips jackhammered into him. My body rippled with pleasure and then clinched up. Sensing the climax, Beau pushed out from underneath me then finished me off in his mouth. The sensation was so intense, I cried out and the sound echoed back as a ferocious growl. Beau purred while he licked my ejaculation off. A drunken grin on his lips, he kept licking me. The process started all over again.

We fucked for hours like this, taking turns. We never got tired. We consumed each other in every which way. The light faded and we made love through the night. I never wanted to stop. I understood why Emmett and Rosalie had taken 10 years before they could keep it in their pants. Beau and I could go longer, I was sure of it.

It started getting light again when I swallowed Beau's cum for the nth time. He still tasted like he did in the shower when he was human, only sweeter. I remembered how he had fainted when he saw me drink his cum.

Beau laughed at my memory and the sound echoed around the clearing (we had made) like a bell. Somehow we ended up a mile away from the cove.

Beau sighed and looked at the damage around us. It looked like a godzilla type monster had wondered through. Trees were ripped from their roots, trunks smashed in half. "Hmm. We don't need a bed. We need-"

"A private island." I finished. Beau grinned.

Perhaps Esme can let us borrow the island Carlisle gave her.

"Nope. No. Nu-uh." Beau shook his head vehemently. "We are not borrowing your parents getaway place so we can have sex. That's so weird on so many levels."

I shrugged. "Okay." I wrapped my arms around him gently and kissed his neck. "We can get our own island."

Beau rolled his eyes. But I was serious. Perhaps one big enough that had it's own wildlife so Beau and I could feed. It would have to be extremely remote. Maybe somewhere in the Pacific. I'd rather stay away from the Bermuda triangle where all the cargo ships pass by.

"You're kidding right? You can't just buy an island." Beau looked at me and cocked his head to the side.

"I bet you 50 bucks Alice is already setting up something." My grin was lopsided, my arms folded across my chest.

He narrowed his eyes and he licked his lips, testing my resolve. "No way. A private island? People just don't do that."

I shrugged and held my hands up. "People also don't tear down forests when they fuck." _Carlisle bought one for Esme. I can get a better one for you._

He ruffled his hair. "God, I love it when you cuss. Alright, alright, alright. I need to stop being so surprised by you."

"Never." I wrapped around his waist and began lowering down on him.

"Nope. Nope." He twisted out of my grasp. "Don't start that again. Think about the environment." Beau snickered and dragged me up straight. "Besides, it sounds like we need to talk to Alice to settle a bet."

I sighed and let him lead me back to our clothes. It was for the best. But I wasn't happy about leaving our little bubble yet. It was just him and me obeying our animal instincts out here like we were the only ones in the world.

I grumbled while watching Beau put on his pants and the blood stained denim shirt. It was like he was buttoning up our paradise.

He waltzed over and glided his hand across my face. "Oh, this isn't over." He purred aggressively. "Please be aware that I'm going to fuck your brains out at every possible opportunity. But I need you to put your clothes on right now."

I chuckled and rolled my eyes. "What if I don't?" I dared him. "What will you do to me?" I looked up at him seductively through my eyelashes.

Beau bit his lip then stepped forward. "Well." His hand trailed across my stomach and circled up to my clavicle. His nose swooped along my neck and up the side of my face.

"I'll. . ." Kiss.

"Go . . ." Kiss.

"Tell. . . " Kiss.

"Emmett how hard I made you squeal." He rushed the words out, then bounded off the rock and zipped into the forest, leaving me stunned. His laughter echoed back to me.

Sighing, I put on my jeans. He did come up with a good punishment. Emmett would tease me for half a century.

I looked down at my shredded shirt. There was no point in trying to put it on. Great. Now I had to go back shirtless.

Beau's laughter deepened. I tossed the torn fabric into the ocean and joined back up with Beau as we raced back to the house.

We weren't laughing now. Beau swung his legs nervously on the branch. I kept flashing memories of Alice for him to try to settle him and take his mind off things. _-[Alice thumbing through old genealogy books trying to find her past.]-_ We were definitely more quiet now. Our physical contact was limited to holding hands out of respect. He glanced at me, then said tightly. "You look good in a suit."

I grinned. "Thank you. You look great in one too."

He shrugged then pulled at the collar. "I don't like suits. I never did."

"Woah, you don't like something Alice picked out for you?" My tone mocked him and he rolled his eyes. "You know you didn't have to wear it."

When we neared the house coming back from the cove, Alice was waiting for us. "You're back!" She hopped off the stump and flung a simple t-shirt at me. _-Did you boys have fun?-_

"You weren't peeking, were you?" I raised my eyebrows, while pulling the shirt over my head.

"God no." - _Trust me, I learned my lesson.-_ A memory flashed of her protectively seeking the future for Carlisle and Esme when they went out hunting alone once and wincing as she saw too much of both.

 _Alice wants to know if we had fun._ I thought for Beau. This was like a game of telephone the human children played.

Beau chuckled. "Nope. We had no fun at all and nothing weird happened whatsoever and we certainly didn't get engaged."

Alice's mouth dropped. And she flew into Beau's arms. "Oh my god! Congratulations! I'm so happy for you two! AH!" She screamed delightedly. "I love planning weddings. This is going to be so good."

Alice already knew of course. She had gone ahead and decided the where and the when. She hugged me and I squeezed her hard. "This is my wedding too, you know." I whispered into her ear. Beau may not care about whatever wedding we had, but I did. I had waited so long for this.

"It'll be perfect. I promise." She patted my arm.

She eyed Beau's blood stained denim and sighed. _-I loved that shirt on him.-_

"It looks better off." I muttered and folded my hands in my pocket. Beau ruffled his hair shyly.

Alice brushed away the comment. "The others are getting ready." _-We weren't sure if you two would be back in time and if you wanted to see it. I laid out some suits for you guys just in case-_

I sighed heavily and Beau watched me diligently as I let Alice show me possible futures. _-There's a spot about two miles away you can watch from, if you want to. You'll be far enough away, you won't have to worry about Beau.-_ Her vision assured me there would be no danger.

"What's going on?" Beau groaned feeling left out.

I filled him in. "They're burying us today." I looked at him forlornly. "Carlisle and Esme are already over at Charlie's. Your mom and Phil got in last night."

I watched several different emotions pass on his face. "We should get ready then." He said softly and I reached up to gently kiss his cheek.

When we walked inside, Jasper flickered his gaze over at us. He was wearing a black silk shirt and pants, A video game controller buzzed in his hand.

 _-Definitely had sex. Seems stable. Odd. Good though. Bloodstain is deer. Some mountain lion. Smells like dirt and ocean salt.-_ He analyzed my fiance and when he was finished he turned back to the video game he was playing. "How was the hunt?"

"Fine." We both said at the same time and then giggled together. Jasper grinned facing his video game but made no comment. Bless him.

Emmett appeared from the stairs. "Oh good, you guys are back. I was starting to get worried." His tone was in mock concern. "There's been reports of loud ferocious animals in the woods. The park rangers were gearing up a hunting squad. Didn't want you guys to get hurt by the two beasts out there." He looked pointedly between us.

Beau's eyes bulged. I nudged his arm. "He's joking."

"Oh." Beau breathed and ran his hands through his hair. He still got flustered the same way. "Oh, yeah." Beau grinned. "I think I heard one of them. It was crying out like a wounded pig."

I punched his arm. _Hey. Come on. You said you wouldn't tell._

Emmett cackled. "Oh, I love this kid. This is gonna be fun." _-He's the anti-Edward.-_ Emmett thought lame sex noises as a form of torture.

"Very original." I grumbled.

"Sorry." Beau winced.

"Well, can't chat." Emmett jumped down and patted Beau's back with too much force. Beau didn't budge. _-Hm. He can't be stronger than me though. I wonder if Edward will let me fight him.-_ "We've got a previous engagement. You ready Jasper?"

"Yup." Jasper clicked off the console. Emmett grabbed Jasper and Alice and they headed to the garage where Rosalie was waiting.

Alice kissed us goodbye. _-I'll keep your secret. Again. You should tell Carlisle and Esme first about the engagement. They'll need the good news. It's been a hard day for them.-  
_

I nodded and then turned to Beau. "Come on."

I lead Beau up to my room. _Our_ room. Everything that was mine is now ours. Happiness bubbled up inside of me despite myself. I swooped my arms under my fiance and carried him through the threshold.

From the spot two miles away from where our burials would take place, I straightened Beau's black tie. His suit was sleek and form fitting. I wonder if Alice tortured me like this on purpose."It's kind of macabre," I stated. "Dressing for our funerals."

"Isn't everything we do a little macabre? I think it's fitting." Beau shrugged. "We are dead after all. Besides," He grinned wickedly and raised an eyebrow. "You only get to experience your funeral once."

* * *

 **AN: Thank you for reading and reviewing!  
**

 **\- Rosalie**


	31. Chapter 31: Empty Graves

**Disclaimer: I don't own these characters.**

* * *

Chapter 31

Empty Graves

* * *

Beau's POV

* * *

"They're coming." A long line of cars slowly peeked around the curve following behind two hearses.

I held my breath and froze.

Edward noticed my reaction. "You won't be able to smell them from here. It's okay."

I nodded but I still couldn't breathe.

Charlie's sheriff's car parked on the curb on the side of the cemetery. Carlisle's car behind him. I watched as he let Phil out of the back seat. I mildly chuckled. I'm sure under different circumstances, Charlie would have thought it was a gag putting Phil behind the cruiser's barred-backseat, caged like a common criminal.

Phil then opened the passenger door and I saw my mom get out one leg at a time. I could see the goosebumps on her legs from the cold. Her black wrap dress was too short for this weather. Her style was usually so colorful. Knowing her, she probably had to dig deep and shake the dust off of it, when she pulled this one out of her closet. I imagined she was probably happy it still fit. Then I looked at her face. No, she wouldn't have felt any happy emotion trying to find something to wear to her son's funeral. Her eyes were puffy and her cheeks were red around the nose. _Oh, mom._

I should be there comforting her. I had been there for her through the divorce, through the endless job hunts, through all the horrible dates. It's supposed to be me down there wrapping my arms around her and telling her it was going to be okay. But I couldn't. I was the reason she was crying. For the first time, I caused her heart to break.

Edward began rubbing my hand. _-You don't have to do this.-_

"No, I do. I want to. This is my only chance to see them all again. I didn't get to say goodbye." I tried to swallow the lump in my throat, a completely different ache than the one I had already grown accustomed to.

Renee grabbed Charlie's hand briefly. His eyes were bloodshot and he looked a little paler. He looked a little thinner too. I hoped he was eating. Then I remembered I was the one that prepared all his dinners and lunches. Guilt washed over me again.

Esme and Renee were escorted into the cemetery and sat in hard looking metal chairs placed in front of two 6 foot graves.

Charlie, Phil, Mike and Jeremy and two of my teachers were all crowded around a casket. My casket. I was surprised to see Mike and Jeremy there. I thought they didn't like me.

Edward noticed my confusion and followed my gaze. "Oh, apparently the fight they had at the dance wasn't about Mikayla at all. Mike wasn't being protective of his sister. Mike was jealous of her."

"What?" I spun to face him.

"Turns out Mike has been repressing his feelings for a long time and it just all came out as aggression that night against Jeremy who he's had feelings for since middle school."

"No way." I was stunned. Mike was gay? From what I could remember he was pretty hostile to me after I had come out. Maybe that was because he had to confront himself again.

"That's not all. Get this. Jeremy only pretended to date Mikayla so that he could be closer to Mike."

"Oh my god. Stop." I was eating this up. How come Edward hadn't mentioned this before now?

"After the fight at the dance, Mike went over to apologise and somehow they ended up making out. They're dating now secretly."

"Shut the front door. Holy crow." Who knew how much I could enjoy gossip from my old human comrades.

"Their families know though. Mikayla is utterly distraught. She really liked Jeremy and now her brother is dating him."

"Oh, that sucks."

"She tried to make out with Jessica in response, but was turned down."

"Woah." I grinned trying to imagine the scenario. It was all so juicy.

I turned back to watch Mike and Jeremy tug my casket with someone else's remains inside. They were standing closer than need be. The way Jeremy looked back at Mike nervously. Not the way someone looks back at their fellow student. Jeremy looked back at Mike as if asking him if he was okay, the way you do when someone you like is experiencing sadness.

If I didn't come out. If Edward and I didn't start openly dating, would Mike have ever confessed his feelings? Would Jeremy still be dating Mikayla, unsure if he could ever love the person he really longed for? The way they both glared at me during lunch that week. They weren't disgusted. They were mad because I could be so open and carefree about it. "We started that, didn't we?"

Edward shrugged. _-I'd like the think we made our mark here. Made Forks a little more gayer than before.-_

I chuckled but then turned back to the black parade. Everyone in town was there. The whole population of Forks was the same number of chairs dotting the lawn. Taylor was consoling Mikayla. Jessica was sitting further away next to Erica. Even a few from outside of town were there. Sarah Clearwater went up to pat Charlie on the knee and say what I'm sure were kind words in his ear. She greeted Renee awkwardly then sat in the back with her daughter Leah and her son Seth. The person there that shocked me most of all sat on the other side of Seth. Her hair was shorter than I remembered it but it matched her black sleeveless top and skirt. Julie.

She was hunched over herself and her arms were wound tightly across her chest. What was she doing there?

"She shouldn't be there." I hissed angrily.

 _-I know.-_ Edward's thoughts grew fierce and dark. _-You died because of her. For her to show up at your funeral is a slap to the face.-_

"No, that's not it." I shook my head. "She shouldn't be there because what if she loses control again? She knows vampires are gonna be there right? What if she snaps?" I didn't care that she killed me. It really wasn't her fault. I was only worried that she would do it again. "Funerals are already emotionally unstable. This is a bad idea."

Was she shaking? My eyes were glued on her every movement. I saw her chest heave up and down and I remembered how she shook with anger in the small living room. I squeezed Edward's hand with an enormous amount of pressure that would have broken bones on a human. I didn't know what to do if she transformed, but I had to do something. I couldn't just watch her do it again and in front of so many people. Seth, the boy she sat next to would be dead first. I couldn't blame her for the first time, but for her to willingly put herself in this position, with vampires ten feet away. . . Why, why, why did she come?

But she wasn't angry. No. No. Not angry. Not shaking either.

She turned to the side to wipe her eyes.

 _-She's crying.-_ Edward realized at the same time that I did. Her chest was heaving with sobs, not anger. She was sad. Julie was grieving.

She didn't even react when Edward's casket was carried down the aisle next. Carlisle, Jasper, Emmett, and Rosalie bore the casket with Edward's spanish instructor and the EMT that was with the ambulance after the van accident. Julie didn't turn or make any notice of their proximity. Whether that was on purpose or she really didn't care, I couldn't tell from here. They all were too far away for Edward to peer into anyone's mind either.

I relaxed a little and eased my death grip on Edward's hand. "I think she is here for the same reason everyone else is."

Edward blinked. _-What?-_

"I think Julie came to pay her respects. To say goodbye." I shrugged. "To say that she's sorry."

"Hmpf." Edward rolled his eyes. "Maybe. She still shouldn't have come."

"I'll agree to that. But I don't think she'll be an issue. Besides, won't Alice see it coming?"

 _-That's actually yet to be determined. Alice couldn't see any future from the other wolves.-_

I didn't like that. The whole family relied so heavily on Alice's ability to predict. "Still though, it looks like she has her anger under control. Can they be triggered by other emotions?"

Edward shrugged mentally. _-I honestly don't know much about them except that their anger drives them.-_

Julie wasn't angry. She was just. . . sad. Like any girl at a funeral for the gay guy she secretly admired.

"Maybe she doesn't know." I pondered out loud. "Maybe she doesn't know that I'm still alive and that I've been changed." I wasn't sure what was worse. If she thought I was really dead, or if she knew I was turned into her mortal enemy to be kept alive. On second thought, the second one is definitely worse. She wounded her old friend so deeply, he had to be changed into a vampire, the creature she naturally hates. The trifecta of "well, that sucks."

It would be much better if she thought I was dead, like my family did. This funeral was for them. Funerals aren't for the dead. They're for the living.

"Impossible." Edward sighed. "Bonnie would have explained everything to Sam."

I nodded rationally. It still didn't make sense to me, Julie's reaction. She should be mad and disgusted and outraged that I was a vampire. Or maybe she was feeling guilty.

I couldn't diagnose her reason for being at the funeral, but I kept an eye on her throughout the proceedings. Seth kept his arm around her and rubbed her shoulders. That made me feel better. Someone was looking after her.

Someone was looking after my mom too. Phil. He was the reason I left to begin with. My job was done. Mom didn't need me anymore. She had Phil. I came to Forks so I could live my own life and that's when I found Edward.

A large framed photo of me was placed before my casket. "Ugh." I groaned. "I hate that photo. Sophomore year and I was having a bad hair day and I just ate salad so I was afraid to smile, in case something was stuck in my teeth. Just look at that. Who smiles like that? A psycho." I shook my head. I was surprised at the amount of detail I could remember of such a random moment.

"I like it." Edward mused. _-It's cute.-_ "You look so naive and innocent."

In my head, lyrics popped up: _I'm not. That. Innocent._ I glanced up at Edward. "Just so you know, I'm holding my tongue from singing the chorus of Britney's 'Oops. . . I did it again'."

"You have excellent control over yourself." Edward grinned. "It's really quite remarkable."

"Mind over matter." I shrugged playing along. "Oh, but then look at your photo. That's not fair. They used a recent one and you look hot as hell."

Edward rolled his eye. "That was my sophomore year too. Only I don't age, dumb dumb."

"Hey," I kicked his feet. "Respect the dead."

There was a third framed photo in the middle, bridging the two families. I furrowed my eyebrows. "Where did they get that?" The photo was of both of us. Edward's arms were clasped around my shoulders from behind me. A laugh touched both of our lips into wide smiles. My blue eyes were crinkled around the edges but they shined brightly. Edward's gaze pointed down to my eyes, obvious affection in his expression. We looked carefree and happy. Young love at its finest.

"The day it happened." Edward informed me. "We took over 100 pictures like that on Alice's camera. She got a few of them developed. This was Esme's favorite."

"Oh." I breathed. I was glad these pictures existed. It proved to my family that I was deliriously happy. Maybe they could take comfort in that. I wanted them to know that I was happy.

"I'm kind of surprised that. . . I mean, it's just so obviously apparent that we were in a relationship in that picture."

 _-And?-_

"Well, I thought. I don't know." I ran a hand through my hair not sure how to explain myself. "Not everyone would be comfortable with that."

"Perhaps." Edward slowly grinned. "If you think about it, we're sort of martyrs for the cause. How could anyone say anything bad about the two poor boys that died too early? Bless their hearts. They just wanted to love each other and now they're dead." Then Edward's grinned turned into a dark grimace. "And anyone who still has a bad thing to say. . . fuck 'em."

I leaned over and kissed his cheek. "Have I told you how much I love it when you cuss?"

Edward rolled his eyes but pulled me closer onto him. "You're corrupting me, Beau. First, you have me biting a human, then you take away my virginity, out of wedlock, mind you. Pretty soon, I'll have the mouth of a sailor. I've become such a disappointment." He grinned. "You're the boy my mom always warned me about." The joke in his breath was delicious. I did look like a bad guy now. My sharpened features, my gaunt cheeks and red eyes. My animalistic instincts. I _was_ the boy parents warned their children about. Edward secretly loved that. Sure, he loved sweet clumsy Beau too. I was still that Beau inside. But he could fuck with dangerous powerful Beau.

A man I didn't know stood up to a podium to say nice words about Edward and then nice words about me. A few anecdotes were in there to make the crowd chuckle and then cry. Stories our families told him so he could personalize his cookie cutter speech.

"Is it weird to have a double funeral?" I asked looking at the two sections. Edward's side and my side. More people were on mine. "It just seems kind of rude to not give each family their own slot."

"Your father insisted."

"Really?" I furrowed my brows.

"He wanted the town to mourn together for us both. Charlie was always very proud of you, Beau. He admired your courage. He thought you would want it this way. If people were going to grieve and pay respects they could do it for the both of us."

I leaned back and looked straight up at the sky. Well, damn that was nice. I remembered faintly the night we argued. Charlie was speaking as a townsfolk that night, not as my father. Now he was acting like my father against the town. Protecting me and my character from those who I'm sure wanted to sweep my sexuality under the rug.

"I hope he knows how happy I was." I said softly. A light drizzle dripped onto my cheeks as I continued staring at the swirling clouds above me. I couldn't cry, so the sky cried for me.

Edward pulled me into his chest and I nuzzled my head into him. This was the hardest part. Not the agony of the transformation coursing through my body, melting my skin off and making me feel like I was ashes on the ground.

This. Watching my old life break around the edges and crumble apart. That was the hard part.

"What happened after your change?" I breathed into Edward's collar. I needed to hear his thoughts, see his memories. The overwhelming sadness bubbled up in my chest, and I thought I was going to explode.

 _-I was very disoriented when the pain stopped. Most are, but you handled yourself so well. I had been lectured by Carlisle through the transition so I knew what had happened but it was hard to accept it.-_

Images of his first crystal clear vampire memories. Carlisle was wearing a long white coat over cotton trousers and a knitted vest. Hunting together. His first kill was an injured horse that had gotten lost. He was horrified at himself and what he had become and the desires that he wanted. Edward was a gentle spirit. He was studious and hardworking. Edward didn't make waves, but he felt called to help people. He was very interested in a new science emerging called 'psychology.' After the war, if he survived, he wanted to go to Germany to study under the leaders of the field. He was going to sign up to join the army in his human life, not because he wanted to fight, only because he thought it was the right and noble thing to do. Now, he was a very unnoble and terrible monster. He couldn't help people in the way he wanted. His instinct was to kill them.

I rolled my eyes. I had seen this before. "No, I meant, what happened with your family?"

 _-They died. You know that.-_ Edward didn't even wince mentally at the reminder. He was so removed from it. Would I get to that point?

"No, I know that. But like, what happened to your family's affairs? Did your family have a funeral? Did anybody notice your body was missing." These were small seemingly unimportant details, but I wanted everything.

 _-The spanish influenza wiped the city of people and resources. Our family did get more attention than others because of our social class. We were very wealthy. My grandfather rubbed elbows with the Rockefellers. My father was the director of engineers for one of the railways.-_

"So what happened to all of that?"

Edward shrugged. "The estate got absorbed by my father's company. Without me, there was no heir. I think it's a museum of sorts now or maybe a wine tasting resort. I don't really know."

I nodded, thinking about all the political implications his family's death might have caused. "So, it's all gone. You don't have anything from your old life?"

When Edward had carried me in his room this morning, I was shocked to see my things there. My hand glided over my quilt. I thumbed along the leaves of books on Edward's side table. Pictures of mom and dad were hung up next to Edward's music collection. I didn't have much, but these were my things and it was nice to have them with me.

"Oh, no." Edward grinned. "Before Carlisle and I left Chicago, I stole my parents safety deposit box they had at the bank and broke into our estate."

I shoved him lightly. "You stole from a bank? And you said I was corrupting you."

"It's not stealing if it's rightly yours." He grinned. "But I did have to destroy the vaults and a few walls."

I saw his memory of it and laughed. "Oh man, you'd be an excellent addition to Al Capone's gang."

"The papers did think a new gang was in town after that. They tried to pin it on him years later."

Edward the mobster. Now that was a fun thought.

"What was in the vault?"

"Some jewelry, like the cuff links you're wearing. I hope you don't mind." He eyed my wrist. I hadn't noticed them before. They were diamonds with gold attachments. A small "M" was inscribed onto the gold. "And half our wealth in bonds. I couldn't cash them out because they'd been stolen. I still have them actually."

"Shut the front door. They've got to be worth millions now."

Edward laughed. "They were millions already, Beau." My eyes got huge. That was a shit ton of money now and a fucking shit ton of money back then. Edward was so casual about it. "I don't need it though."

"You might if you want to buy a private island." I raised my eyebrows.

 _-Fair enough.-_ He briefly got distracted by the thought of us alone on our own piece of land. "Well, I don't know if the government still accepts war bonds from the twentieth century anyway."

Edward the billionaire. That was a fun thought too.

"Besides, that might get too much press attention. 'Young boy finds millions of dollars of bonds in backyard'." He shook his head.

I grumbled playfully and turned back to the man just finishing up his words of sorrowful wisdom two miles away. Edward had sufficiently distracted me.

The caskets were being lowered into the ground now. A line of family began to form to say their last goodbyes before the dirt piled on top.

"Who were they?" I asked blinking away the grief of watching Charlie shovel the first scoop of dirt into my grave. "The bodies in the caskets. Who are they?"

"Robert Hanson and Blake Foster. Rosalie recovered their wallets."

"It's not fair that they didn't get their own funeral."

"Oh, the men aren't in the caskets anymore. Those boxes are empty. After they were sealed shut last night, Jasper and Rosalie removed the bodies and drove them back to L.A. where they were from."

I sighed, feeling a little better.

The rest of the attendees got up and paid their respects to the family. My classmates awkwardly said their apologies to my mom and dad and then walked across to Edward's family.

My mom looked sick and tired. She looked like she was about to faint, then Alice appeared with a chair in her hand. She motioned for Renee to sit down. Charlie nodded his thanks. Perhaps Alice had seen her fall in one of her visions.

The minutes ticked by and the lines slowly died down. People ambled back to their cars.

Julie didn't move from her seat in the back. Seth looked at her and must have decided to giver her some space. He got up and joined his sister next to their car.

At one point Alice and Emmett looked our way, their eyes locked on ours. Emmett grinned and waved. Alice slapped his arm.

Julie turned then, following their gaze. She looked back at Emmett and Alice, then back in our direction. She couldn't see us, so far away, but the way she stared in our direction made me nervous.

Jules got up slowly, releasing her grip on herself and straightened her legs. Edward's eyes narrowed.

She opened her mouth and exaggerated the words with her lips, mouthing like one does when trying to communicate to someone across a long room. "I'm sorry, Beau. Please forgive me."

A cold shock ran through my body. She knew Edward and I were watching. She was apologizing to me. She knew what I had become and she felt guilty. Jules hung her head and flickered her glance back at Alice and Emmett who were staring back intently. Rosalie appeared next to his side. Her eyes were fierce and protective. I froze not sure what would happen.

I saw Jules take a deep breath and her nose wrinkled up. She bowed her head to my new siblings respectfully. Her arms crossed back over her body, then her hand pulled out an envelope. She held it out towards Rosalie, but kept her eyes on the ground. Carefully, Rosalie stepped forwards to take the note. Then Jules turned around and she briskly walked away.

"Woah." I breathed.

Edward's mind was racing with concern and relief.

"Could she see us?" I asked inquisitively.

"I don't think so, but she must have known we would be watching. That message was clearly intended for you. I think she wrote a letter for you too."

I hummed pondering on what she would have to say.

We watched as the chairs started being folded up and the tent becoming un-assembled. My parents didn't move. Renee glided her hand over the middle picture, her hand caressed my face. She broke down in tears again and I couldn't watch.

"I wish she could have known you." I muttered sadly. "She would have loved you."

 _-I wish I could have met her too.-_ I leaned back into his chest and he wrapped his arms around me, not unlike the middle picture, but we weren't happy and carefree. However, the affection and love were still there.

They sky grew dark and Charlie wrapped his coat on my mother's shoulder. She patted his hand kindly.

Carlisle and Esme hugged them goodbye. Renee clasped tightly to Esme's wrist and they shared a look of knowing and gratitude. Renee wasn't alone in her suffering. At least, she didn't think she was. It was good to have Carlisle and Esme there, on the same page.

"Esme and Carlisle are incredible." I stated while I watched their full emotional interaction.

"Yes, they are." Edward breathed. "They love you, you know. Which is why they are doing this for your family."

"I know." I grinned.

"But they'll never try to replace your parents."

"I know." I kissed his hand. They could never replace my parents. But already, I felt connected to them in a familial way. Like the aunt and uncle I never had.

Eventually, Phil escorted my mom back to the car. She looked up at him gratefully. Renee would get through this. She trusted Phil so much. Charlie picked up my old sophomore picture and carried it back to the cruiser. His face crusted with silent tears. His door slammed shut behind him. The police cruiser drove around the curve and out of site.

The cemetery was empty. Just two dark mounds of soft dirt among a hundred headstones.

It was over. Just like that. Goodbye, Beaufort Swan.

I felt hollow inside. Closure was never the buttoning up that we wanted it to be. Threads still hung, unsatisfyingly. Ending a life was never easy or clean.

 _-What would you like to do now?-_ Edward kissed my head sweetly.

"I want to hunt again." I said coldly. The constant burn in my throat flamed in the quiet space. I bitterly had to acknowledge its existence. This was a part of the new Beau.

We jumped down from the treetops, catching ourselves on branches effortlessly.

I lead the hunt this time, monitoring Edward's head to make sure there weren't humans nearby. I mirrored Edward's movements and this time when I clamped down on the elk's throat, I managed not to spill a single drop of blood.

I didn't want to ruin a perfectly good suit.

* * *

 **AN: A little sad reflection this chapter.  
**

 **As much as I love writing fun sexy times with these boys, I love their intimate conversations too.**

 **Hopefully, I didn't bum you guys out. It'll perk back up, I promise.**

 **Thank you for reading and reviewing.**

 **-Rosalie**


	32. Chapter 32: Full House

**Disclaimer: I don't own these characters.**

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Chapter 32:

Full House

* * *

Beau's POV

* * *

When we finally made our way back to the house, the sky loomed over us, pitch black and murky. Edward and I leapt over the babbling stream separating their backyard from the forests beyond. It felt like I was home. I had the feeling you get when you've had a long day and the relief you feel when you walk through the front door, finally home. This day wouldn't end for me. They would all bleed into one another. I squeezed Edward's hand before we walked into the kitchen.

I didn't have to read his mind to understand the look in his eyes. His lips pressed onto mine and I pushed onto him till his back hit the wall. His lips were so soft and they parted around mine. Edward's lips felt like home too.

 _-Carlisle and Esme are waiting for us in their study.-_

I nodded and reluctantly pulled away. As fast as I could move now, everything seemed to go so slow. Like in a happy dream and the mind's eye pans slowly on a relaxing moment. We walked with heavy steps up to Carlisle's study.

 _-You first.-_

I eyed Edward suspiciously.

 _-Well, Beau. You asked for my hand in marriage. You should probably ask my parents for their blessing.-_

I rolled my eyes. Oh heeeeell no. Edward just grinned my favorite grin then we opened the door and stepped inside.

"There they are." Esme greeted warmly. She moved towards us. "You boys look nice." She gently patted Edward's suit sleeve before he embraced her in a meaningful hug.

"Thank you." He said, but he wasn't talking about the compliment. "I know today wasn't easy."

I nodded. "I'm sorry to have to put you through that. But I wanted to thank you. It was nice for my parents to have someone there with them today. I can never repay you for that kindness."

Carlisle's hand gripped my shoulder in the next moment. His honey eyes pierced into mine.

"We take care of our family, Beau. We would have done the same for any one of our children."

 _-Speaking of family. . .-_

Esme came to my side and wrapped her arms around me carefully. "I know it hurts. But they, your parents, they love you very much. I'm glad I could meet them. I'm so sorry, Beau."

I pressed her closer against me. "It's okay."

"I want you to know that I'm very glad you are with us, Beau. I'm sorry it has to be like this. But I'm glad Edward has you." She turned back to look at Edward who swung his head to the side embarrassed.

 _-They thought I was going to be alone forever.-_

"Thank you, Esme. I'm glad Edward has me too." I whispered into her shoulder. I released her from the hug and took a deep breath. I glared at Edward meaningfully.

 _-Really? You're going to?-_

I turned back to Carlisle and Esme. "I know today has been pretty miserable for you two. Which is why I wanted to tell you first, of some good news." Edward grabbed my hand and I looked at our entwined fingers. This was for Edward. This was for Edward. This was for Edward. I would do anything for him.

 _-Beau.-_ Edward was practically beaming. I could tell he didn't actually expect me to be the one to break the news. His thoughts were boasting with pride.

I shrugged my shoulders. "Well, I wanted to ask you something actually."

Esme tilted her head. Carlisle eyed between us. I would have been blushing in my human body.

"I asked Edward to marry me earlier." I started. "He said yes. And I wanted to ask for your blessing."

Esme's eyes widened and she clapped her hand to her cheek. "You two are engaged? That's so wonderful. Oh, Edward." She gave him another hug. Esme whispered something into his ear that I couldn't hear.

"Of course." Carlisle smiled and reached his hand out towards me. "Of course you have our blessing." He shook my hand and I made a point to grip his hand tightly. Edward chuckled.

"This is some much needed good news. Two funerals and a wedding." Esme smiled and hugged me again. Very quietly, too quiet for a human to hear, and too quiet for an eavesdropping vampire, Esme whispered, "Thank you for this. This means so much for Edward. Thank you."

I nodded and kissed her cheek.

The door opened and Alice barged in Jasper behind her. "Good, now that's out of the way," Her eyes were unreadable as she trained her gaze onto Edward. "I need to warn you guys. Renee and Phil are on their way over."

"What?" I barked.

Edward froze. _-You need to get out of here.-_

"I don't understand. Why are they coming here?"

Alice shrugged. "I'm not sure. They'll be here in an hour though. Carlisle, you're about to get a call. They want to come over for dinner."

"What time is it now?" I asked thinking of a selfish plan.

"It's seven." Not as late as I thought it was, due to the darkness outside.

I nodded thoughtfully. Edward pulled on my arm. _-We can go to our meadow.-_

I stood strong against him.

Edward sighed. "Beau, you can't be here. They're human."

"I know that." I hissed and Edward flinched back. "Sorry. I just.-"

Alice hummed. "That'll be fine, Beau." She smiled up at me, knowingly. "That's very sweet." She glanced behind me back to Edward. "See, it's fine. He'll leave in time."

Without waiting for Edward's reaction I ran downstairs to the kitchen. Esme kept it stocked to keep up pretenses, being seen at the grocery, and to be ready for unexpected guests.

I heard Carlisle's phone ring just as Alice had predicted.

"What are you doing, Beau?" Edward leaned against the wall, watching me gather things together.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" I grinned back playfully.

 _-Beau.-_ Edward started and I could feel the concerned tremor in his thoughts.

"Listen. There wasn't a lot I was good at in my human life. But I was good at this. I just. I just want to do it one more time for my mom. Please."

"You're cooking them dinner?"

I rolled my eyes. For a fast vampire, Edward sure was slow to pick up on things. "Yes, babe. I'm cooking them dinner."

After his initial shock he stepped forward. _-I'll help you.-_

"Oh, um. No that's okay." I bit my lip while I filled a pot with water and turned the stove on.

"You really didn't like my cooking." Edward gasped. "You think I'm a bad cook. I knew I overdid the pasta."

I sighed, while chopping up onions so quickly and effortlessly. "Edward. No. I want to do this. Alone. I have to do it by myself."

"But you're not alone." Edward countered as he wrapped his arms around my waist.

"Please, Edward. This is important to me."

He kissed my cheek. _-I understand. Let me know if you need anything. I'll be in the living room.-_

Edward vanished, giving me my space. A moment later, I heard the piano being played.

Esme didn't have any meat in the fridge. I chuckled. After all, they were vegetarians. I decided to make my mom's favorite: eggplant ratatouille. The ultimate comfort food, that didn't make her feel bloated afterwards.

I loved listening to Edward play, and hear his thoughts as he improvised on the keys. This was where he belonged. Music was his pastime. He could get lost in it and forget for a moment the ache in his throat. They all had hobbies they could escape to.

I grinned thinking for a moment how. . . normal this was. I was making dinner in the kitchen. Edward was tinkering with a new song on his piano. This would be us if we were both human, I realized. If we weren't both vampires right now, we would probably still be doing this. Renee and Phil would walk in and greet Edward excitedly. Perhaps he would play them another song while I put the finishing touches on the meal. We would eat together and laugh at the embarrassing stories my mom would tell Edward.

As I was, I couldn't do that last bit. No. As normal as this was, I was not normal. I couldn't eat normal food again. I couldn't be in the room with my mom again. I couldn't hold Edward's hand and look into his green eyes.

I bitterly added spices to the pot and stirred, still being careful not to add too much.

Rosalie appeared by my side and she leaned on the counter. "Are you okay?"

I nodded curtly. Then eyed her from the side.

"The smells don't bother you?" She asked inquisitively.

I shrugged. The food I was making was repulsive to me, but I still liked the motions of making it. "It's not that bad. Plus, I can tell if it's seasoned just right without having to taste it. That's good." I blinked as I turned the heat up on the pan and began stirring more frequently.

Rosalie stood silently watching me.

"I miss it." I nodded while chopping up some zucchini. I felt oddly vulnerable. "Being human."

"I do too." Rosalie admitted softly.

I heard a slight pause in Edward's music before he started up again. I winced, knowing that he would take what I said personally.

"Does it get easier?" I asked adding in more vegetables to the stew.

"Sometime it feels nice to pretend we're normal. That's why we like settling in human towns with heavy rain coverage. We can pretend. But, you have to remember it's only make believe. It hurts less as long as you don't convince yourself that you're something you are not." She paused. "I know you agreed to this life, Beau. I disagree with that decision. I'm sure you know that." Damn, Rosalie was a bitch, but she was so cool about it. I had to respect her for that. "But I also know you were expecting to have more closure. That this wasn't the timing you were planning to have." She paused and handed me a spoon I was reaching for.

"Thanks." I muttered, keeping my eyes to my work.

"Beau, I want you to know that whether or not you were changed at whatever date you wanted, you would still be feeling like this. There is no good time. Don't kid yourself into thinking otherwise. It is what it is, Beau. You can't go back now."

"I know that." I nodded. "What's done is done."

"So why are you doing this?" Rosalie gestured to the food.

"This is how I can say goodbye. It's selfish. I know. But I just want to cook for them one more time." I stared at her then. "But you're right. This life, I agreed to it. And I accept the consequences. The timing wasn't what I had imagined it to be, but you're right. There is no perfect time. But, Rosalie." I stepped towards her. "I am happy with my choice. I choose Edward. I will never regret that."

She nodded, a small smile on her lips. "That's good. Oh, before I forget. This is for you." She laid an envelope on the counter. My name was written in hard letters. The envelope Julie had given Rosalie at the funeral. I couldn't read it now.

I turned back to the stove and Rosalie vanished out of the room. The song Edward played was softer, like a lullabye.

"They're almost here." Alice called from the stairs. Edward was by my side in the next second. I let him help me plate the food. Esme brought it out to the dining room, where a new table stood.

"Its ratatouille. My mom's favorite." I informed her. "Tell her the secret is the nutmeg."

She nodded, then kissed my cheek. "Do you mind if I give her some pictures you and Edward?"

"Not at all. I want her to know how happy I was." I smiled. "How happy I am."

Edward grabbed my hand and this time I let him pull me away.

The clouds were mostly gone when we arrived at the meadow. Edward and I laid on our backs and stared up at the stars quietly. Even Edward's thoughts were peaceful and lazy. The flowers in the meadow were still so colorful and vibrant despite the darkness.

I rolled over onto his chest and his lips kissed into my hair. His arm swayed along my back. _-I love you.-_

I purred.

 _-You do look good in a suit.-_ His eyes appraised me once again. _-But I want to take it off of you.-_

"I want you to take it off too." I said plainly. "No, but really. Please. This collar has been bugging me all afternoon."

Edward laughed and obliged my request. He neatly folded my clothes and set them aside. He pulled me up to my feet and I slowly began unbuttoning his shirt while Edward's lips moved slowly and powerfully on to me. He shrugged out of the jacket and shirt together and my hands roamed around his body as if there was a piece of skin I hadn't touched before. He backed up to the edge of the meadow, I followed him drunkenly. My growing erection pressed on his stomach. Edward grinned and winked at me as he broke off. Then Edward swung on a branch a foot or two above eye height. He hung upside down by his knees, so his head was facing me, at crotch height. His growing cock was level with my shoulders.

"Alright, my little vampire bat." I grinned and placed myself where he wanted me. I moaned as his tongue reached out and pulled me into his mouth. His hands clasped around my ass and pulled me closer into him.

Likewise, I pulled his cock up into my mouth and began blowing him.

 _-Oh, Beau.-_ He moaned mentally. I wrapped my arms around his lower back, so his cock jammed into the back of my throat. I gagged around him, but never let go.

The dueling sensations battled out. His mouth on me, tongue pleasing me. While at the same time I could hear his pleasure of my mouth on him. The sensations started to build and I squeezed him tighter. The branch he was hanging from, collapsed, but I held him securely. It didn't stop us.

 _-May I?-_ Edward thought politely. I pulled away from his crotch and he flipped right side up.

He picked me up and his tongue dove into my mouth. I could taste myself on his lips. My legs wrapped around his waist. My erection throbbed on top of his. He reached down and readjusted his penis behind mine. He warmed up my ass with a few blind testing thrusts. I moved on his hips, aligning myself.

Edward slipped himself into me and I gasped out. _-I want to go slowly tonight. If that's okay?-_

I nodded.

His hips swayed gracefully into me. With each thrust, I was shoved closer into his chest. His mouth kissed up and down my neck. _-I love what this does to your body.-_

"I love what your body does to me." I slurred and rolled my eyes back.

He fucked me gently. Almost sweetly through the night and I found myself falling more in love with him with every passing moment. I didn't understand how it was possible to contain so much love for a single person without bursting.

When he finally cummed inside me, we both exploded with pent up pleasure. The orgasm lasted for three minutes.

 _-Oh, fuck.-_ Edward gasped. His chest panting. "Fuck." He wiped his brow, overwhelmed by the orgasm.

I rolled on top of him aggressively. "What did you say?" I grinned. My body still rolled with remaining pleasure.

"Fuck." He panted. "Fuck. Shit. Goddamn. Fuck."

"Oh, you shouldn't have." The animal inside me roared. I couldn't be gentle. I didn't have the control Edward had. I stuck myself into his ass and he cried out with too much sensation.

We didn't go back to the house for another two weeks. We both needed a shower and Edward reminded me that I never read the letter from Julie. Reluctantly, I put on the suit again and sadly watched Edward do the same.

When we got back to the house, Carlisle and Esme were both at the hospital working and the siblings were back at school. The full house was miraculously empty. For which, I was very grateful. There was a brand new bed in our room. Deep blue drapes hung from the mahogany four posters.

Edward picked up the note on the down comforter. _-It's from Alice.-_

"I can't plan your wedding if you two aren't here. Please stay."

I frowned and narrowed my eyes. "Sure, she can plan a wedding without us. We just have to show up."

Edward chuckled and tossed the note to the side. "A bed does seem a little tame after the last two weeks." His lips found the hollow on my neck. I still felt a jolt of electricity with even the smallest touch. "But it'll do." He flung me on the mattress, and we continued where we left off in the meadow.

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 **AN: I wrote this in a rush before I went out of town for the next few days.** **I'm not sure how I feel about the chapter. But it's here. What's done is done.**

 **Thank you for reading and reviewing! It means so much to me.**

 **\- Rosalie**


	33. Chapter 33: Three Months Later

**Disclaimer: All Character belong to Stephanie Meyer.**

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Chapter 33 **  
**

Three Months Later

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Beau's POV

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Three months later.

A knock came from the door. Edward sighed and began buttoning up my shirt, but not before running his fingers across the scars on my chest one more time.

"Edward, let's go!" Jasper hollered affably on the other side of the door. I rolled my eyes. And pulled myself up on the bed, turning off the music as I did.

"Do we have to do this?" I raised my eyebrows. Unlike everyone else, I was not looking forward to the next twenty or so hours. There really wasn't a reason to go through these very human and outdated traditions. However, I didn't want to argue anymore.

Edward kissed my nose, escaping my grasp as I tried to pull him in. "I'll see you tomorrow." He breathed and the words sounded heavy. Was he trying to be seductive? That was not going to make this night and the incoming morning any easier. Tomorrow. I nearly groaned. It was so far away.

The door opened then and three impatient vampires busted through.

"Time's up, Edward." Carlisle called, with a wiry smile. He looked so different out of his normal professional attire and out of his normal professional facial expression. A new side of Carlisle I've never seen. "We're kidnapping you."

"I hope you don't mind." Rosalie stepped forward and grinned at me.

"I do actually." I pouted and folded my arms across my chest. This was not my idea. "But there's nothing I can do to stop you. So." I shrugged and waved them off. Jasper looped his arm around Edward's shoulder and drug him out of the room.

"Have fun!" I called to them, but my heart wasn't in it. I heard them get into Edward's Aston Martin he kept for special occasions. Rosalie started the car and the engine roared seductively as she reversed it out of the garage. It felt like another goodbye when Edward was no longer in range for my special hearing. It was oddly quiet now.

I fell back into the bed and curled up into a ball. Maybe I could just stay here until it was time. But Alice had other plans. She knocked softly on the door. I didn't answer but in the next second she wrapped her arms around me on the bed.

"Hey." She whispered into my neck.

"Hey, Alice." I said coolly, but otherwise made no move.

I stared out the back glass wall. I broke it, the first day Edward and I came back to the house after our two week sexcapade. I forgot how strong I was when I shoved against the glass with too much force while Edward was inside me. It shattered around us, broken bits of glass clattered onto the dark wood.

"Oops." I muttered while combing small bits of glass out of my hair.

"Yikes." Edward breathed, looking at the damage, but he couldn't hide his smile. "Not it on telling Esme."

Thankfully, she was so elated to see us again and to hear that we would stay at the house that when I told her about the glass wall, she shrugged it off. "Oh, we can replace it."

"Oh, and the shower." Edward added, his grin rueful.

"Yeah, we sort of broke the tile in the shower too." I winced.

She pressed her lips together. "No matter." However, she made Edward promise her that until I could control myself, we would limit where we made love. At first I was mad and offended, but it made sense. Esme did work hard on the house. She didn't want me breaking it all.

If in the house, we only made love on the bed. So of course, the box spring mattress collapsed on the third day and we just left it there. No sense in trying to fix it, for me to just ruin it again. Edward and I quickly fell into a routine. During the day while the others were at school or work, we would go out into the forest to go hunting but mostly just to keep fucking each other with abandon. I couldn't get enough of him. Edward was always willing and excited whenever I touched him. It was addicting. I always wanted more and I never got tired of it.

Then we would hang out with the rest of the family, when they trickled in from their day. We'd catch up with the latest gossip around town. Edward would gush about my progress as a vampire and I would bite my tongue embarrassed.

Alice and I went over brochures for wedding venues, music, flowers, and our favorite, the attire. We once spent 10 hours on different designer sites, trying to find the right dress for Rosalie. Alice had our tux's already custom ordered and she wouldn't let me see. I trusted her judgement. There wasn't much to tux's anyway. Nothing could make or break a tux, like a dress. I squirmed though every time I imagined seeing Edward wearing one.

Then at some point when the moonlight flooded in through the back wall, Edward would pull me away and lead me up to our room where we would spend the rest of the night quietly, listening to music, wrapped in each other's arms. It was almost like sleeping. The music was so soothing and I listened to Edward's lungs inflate with oxygen. A rhythm more beautiful than any music. The peace that hovered over us felt like a dream. We couldn't sleep as vampires, but this was our version of it. A better version. As a human, my dreams of Edward always ended with him running way in the darkness. But not in this dream, not in my real life. Edward stayed with me. I didn't deserve to be this happy.

The sun would rise and the rest of the family would depart like clockwork. The cycle would start over anew. A perfect day repeating.

Alice peeked over my shoulder, concerned. This day was different, however. There would be no embrace through the night in peaceful harmony. Not tonight.

I scowled into the pillow.

"It's bad luck." Alice started. "You can't see the groom before the wedding."

"Just because we're vampires doesn't mean we have to be superstitious." I retorted coldly. "Aren't we above all that?"

Alice chuckled. "Oh, come on. It's tradition."

I rolled my eyes and sat up. Alice responded to my movement and sat cross legged on the edge of the bed.

"I'm a modern homosexual. Traditions weren't made for me."

"Alright. True." Alice nodded. "This one is harmless though. Don't you want to have a bachelor party?"

I shrugged. "I'm not really sure how that's possible. It's not like you can take me to a strip club, get wasted, and eat cupcakes with little decorative dicks on top." I rolled my eyes. None of those were feasible in my current. . . and permanent state of being. Nor did I find any of that appealing. I was only 17 after all. My 18th birthday was coming up, but I would never actually turn 18. My body was stuck in time, though the clock ticked forward.

I never had given it much thought: getting older. I already felt middle aged in my teens, so I never imagined what I would be like as an adult. I figured I would be pretty much the same as I would be later in life, I guess. I would forever be the same now. There would be no change in seasons in my life. I was already sort of used to that. Growing up in Phoenix the weather was mostly the same no matter what time of year.

Alice rolled her eyes. "What do you think Edward is doing?"

"I don't know." I shrugged. "No one told him. It was a surprise and he didn't even think about it." I missed him already. This was the longest I've ever gone without Edward since I was changed. He has never been out of my sight before. I felt a chasm open up in his absence. "Wait, they're not taking him to a strip club, are they?" I scrunched my nose up in disgust. I didn't think they were the type to do that. Especially Carlisle. . . no, especially Jasper.

Alice laughed, her whole tiny body buckled. "Oh, Beau." She shook her head.

I looked at her exasperated. "I don't know what a vampire's version of a bachelor party is." I grumbled and slammed my back flat on the bed and pulled a pillow over my face.

Emmett appeared in the doorway. I could tell it was him without looking, his footfalls were like a physical I.D.

"Is Beau being a party pooper?" He leapt into the air and then landed next to me, lithely. Despite his hulking muscles, Emmett could be graceful when he wanted to. But he could never be as fluid as Alice could. She rolled off the bed then twirled around until she was standing at the foot of the bed between Emmett and I. She hopped over and snuggled between us. If they had known what Edward and I did on this bed, they probably wouldn't so carelessly lounge on it, I thought mildly amused. But it just made me miss Edward more.

"Yes, Beau is being frustratingly stubborn right now."

I sighed and nestled into Alice's shoulder. "I just don't like him gone. It's weird. Not right. I don't like it. We haven't ever been apart in my entire existence."

Alice rolled her eyes and she punched my arm. "You're being dramatic."

"It's true though." I grumbled. "Edward hasn't left my side since I was bitten. My whole existence."

Emmett barked out a laugh. "Oh, man. You've got it bad."

I eyed him suspiciously. "How long before you let Rosalie out of your sight?"

He deliberated. "Fair point." _No shit, 'fair point.'_ _Ten fucking years, McCarty._

Esme knocked on the room politely. "Oh, are we having a sleepover?" She grinned warmly.

I patted the spot next to me and she walked at a human pace until she got there. Esme folded her legs underneath her.

"You know, we're without our mate too tonight." Esme reminded me.

"Oh yeah." I nodded. The regular pairs of couples were split between us. "Sorry."

Esme nudged me and grabbed my hand comfortingly.

I found myself enjoying the company despite myself.

"So." Emmett began. "What's it like in Edward's head?"

I sighed and shrugged. Hearing Edward's thoughts was such an intimate experience to me. To speak about it seemed like an invasion of privacy on both accounts. "Um, he's very contemplative. His stream of thoughts are more like a melody or poetry." I missed his melody. It was too quiet here.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sure." Emmett waved. "But what does he really think about us?"

Ah, Emmett wanted dirt.

Alice giggled and Esme rolled her eyes. "You don't have to answer that, Beau."

I thought for a second how to proceed. This was the first time I could actually talk about this without him listening in. I guess I am supposed to be bonding right now.

"Well, he loves you all, of course." I started with a small smile on my lips. "But he does get annoyed frequently."

"How frequently?" Alice turned her head to study my face, suddenly curious.

"Well, a lot, actually." I grinned. "Mostly he gets annoyed with Rosalie, but I think he likes their arguments." They were after all together tonight. "Sibling rivalry, kind of thing. He's very good at talking himself out of it, though, if he does get annoyed or angry. Because he understands everyone's motives, it's hard for him to really get pissed off. But. . . I think it's less now than it used to be. He's mostly just been really happy." I shrugged, but couldn't help the smile spreading across my face because I knew what the difference was. It was me.

Esme rubbed my head, mirroring my smile.

The phone rang downstairs. I eyed Alice. She usually would warn us if someone was going to call.

She looked back bewildered and shook her head. "I don't know."

"Oh." I breathed with the smile still in place. "That must be for me then. Excuse me." I pulled my arm out from under Alice, jumped over Esme, and landed silently on my feet.

Excitedly, I flipped over the railing and fell into the living room carefully. I had been waiting for her to call all day.

"Hello?" I answered the phone in an unassuming voice, just in case I was wrong.

"Hey, blood breath." A husky voice greeted back playfully.

"Well, hot dog." I grinned. "Look what the cat dragged in."

"Who said anything about cats, popsicle?" I could hear the smile in Julie's voice.

"Mongrel."

"Leech."

"Kujo."

"Sucker."

I broke out in a fit of giggles. I could hear Julie wiping snot from her nose. "Ew gross. I can hear that you know."

"Waah." She mocked in a dumb voice. "I'm all immortal now and normal bodily functions are too gross for me to handle because I'm a pathetic little ice statue."

I rolled my eyes. "Better than a hot dog who can't keep her clothes. Seriously, how many sports bras have you gone through at this rate?"

She grumbled on the other line.

"That's what I thought." I said triumphantly.

Jules and I have a bit of a complicated friendship. But it was a friendship. No one else could understand it. Not even Edward. Her pack didn't like it either. Really didn't like it. Sam tried to stop her from communicating with me a few weeks ago, but it backfired. So now both the Cullens and the Quileutes just sort of let it slide.

When I read her letter, explaining to me how sorry she was and that she hoped that one day I could forgive her, but she could never forgive herself, yada yada yada. I called her. Now that was an interesting phone call.

"Hello?" Bonnie answered.

"Is Julie Black available?" I spoke in what I hoped was a professional and unrecognizable voice.

"Who is this?" She questioned.

After a moment of back and forth she finally put Julie on the phone.

"Um, hello?" Jules said in a confused tone.

"Is your mom still around?" I asked, back in my normal voice.

"Oh my god. Beau?" Her breathing hiked.

"Yeah, hey. It's me. Listen, I just wanted to let you know, I read your letter. It's okay. Jules? Jules? It's okay." I heard her start to break down on the other line.

"I'm so sorry. Beau, I didn't know what was happening. No one ever fucking told me. I mean, I thought they were just stories. Everything just went red. I couldn't control anything. I didn't know what I was."

"Hey, hey, hey. It's okay. Really." I assured her. "I'm good, Julie. And I know you don't understand that. Werewolves and vampires are mortal enemies are whatever." I heard her chuckle under her breath. "But, I'm happy now. It sucks that I had to die, but my new life. . . is. . . it's amazing. I'm happy. Trust me."

"Did it hurt?" She asked quietly.

"Um, the getting attacked by the werewolf or the getting bitten by a vampire?"

"Er, the first one."

"Yeah. It hurt. I don't remember it though." I bit my lip. "Oh, man, Jules. You'd get a kick out of this. I still have scars. They didn't heal with the transformation. They look. . . . really really cool."

She laughed despite herself. "Beau, you're ridiculous." She sighed. "Thank you, again, for saving my mom. I know she's an asshole and she has been really terrible to. . . to them and to you..."

I could tell she didn't quite equate me with the Cullens yet, even though she knew what I was. Denial.

"No sweat." I shrugged it off.

"She won't admit it outloud, but she's very grateful for what you did. And she's very sorry that you had to protect her at all from me. I think she's very confused right now on what to think."

I nodded. "Yeah, I'm sure. Can. . . can you tell her that I'm. . . I'm still Beau. You know. I'm different now. Not as breakable or clumsy, but it's still me."

"I can tell." She said somewhat mystified. "I'm still Julie too, despite the time I tried to murder you."

"Oh, I'm sure it won't be the only time." I grinned.

Jules and I have met twice during the last three months. She and Seth, her boyfriend and fellow werewolf, had a rendezvous with Edward and I on the border between our territories.

We kept our distance. She looked stronger, taller, her muscles were practically gleaming. She only wore a sports bra and running shorts, despite the chilly 34 degree temperature.

"Hey, Jules." I grinned carefully, making sure not to show _too_ much teeth.

I saw her try to fight a smile. "Seth, this is Beau." She turned to look at the lanky teenager beside her. He looked shy but good natured.

"Beau, this is my boyfriend Seth."

We nodded at each other.

"This is Edward." I held his hand up. "My fiance."

"Oh." Jules breathed and her eyebrows shot up. "You're engaged?"

Edward laughed. "Yes, vampires can get married too." I'm sure he was answering more than just Jule's question.

"Oh." Seth looked at his shoes.

"Hey, Jules, did you want to see them?" I grinned again, already shrugging out of my shirt.

"See what? Oh. Oh!" She stepped closer hesitantly.

Woof. She smelled horrible. Like wet moldy socks in a manure pasture. By the way her nose was scrunched up, I'm sure I didn't smell much better to her either.

Carefully, she placed her hand on my chest along the cracks where her claws had dug into my flesh.

"Yikes." She winced. "Does it hurt?"

"No." I shook my head. "It's pretty badass, though right?"

Jules barked out in laughter. "Yeah. It's pretty badass. You're welcome." She bit her lip and stared at Edward's hands in mine. "So, you're getting married." She hummed.

"Yup." I ruffled my hair with my free hand.

"Aren't you a little young?" Her eyes narrowed. "I didn't peg you for the type to marry young."

I shrugged. "Well. What is time or youth when you live forever."

She chewed on that one for a bit and backed up until the back of her foot hit Seth's shin.

"Would you like to come?" I offered. Edward snapped his head in my direction.

 _-Beau? We can't. I mean. They're werewolves.-_

"What?" Julie stuttered.

"Would you like to come to the wedding?"

"Oh, um." She glanced at Seth. "Um. Yeah. Actually. I'd like that. If that's okay with both of you." She eyed Edward meaningfully.

 _-Good lord.-_

"Come on, Edward. I don't have any friends from outside your family that can. . . know about us." I pleaded. "Everyone else who is coming are your friends."

Edward sighed. _-Everyone else that is coming are vampires.-_ He turned to Jules. "There will be a lot of vampires. Can you handle that?" He eyed Julie and Seth seriously. He grinned suddenly, perhaps reading something in their thoughts. "Great. I'll make sure you get the invitations, then."

"How are you feeling, Beau?" Jules asked into the phone. "Night before the wedding. I would ask if you were getting cold feet, but you already have those."

"Ha. Ha. Ha. Very funny." I rolled my eyes. Jules, always with the jokes. I thought I was bad.

"Seriously, though. What's up?"

I sighed. "I. . . I'm actually kind of anxious."

"Really? Anxious like how anxious I am to walk into a room with 15 vampires. . . that kind of anxious?" She joked again.

"Just. That. Well. Edward left about an hour ago and I won't see him again until the ceremony and it's starting to drive me crazy. It doesn't feel right when I'm not with him." Bad things tended to happen when we weren't together. At least that was true when I was human.

"Aww." Julie gooed. "Beaufort has a cruuuuush."

"Blah." I stuck my tongue out even though she couldn't see it. "It's Beaumont now, to you."

"Beaumont, really?" I could almost hear her eyebrow arch. "You think that's a better trade? That's the name they give to old libraries for dead white guys. . . oh wait. I guess that fits, then."

"Okay, I'm hanging up now."

"No! No. Sorry." Jules pleaded. "I know it sucks to be away. It drives me crazy too."

"How are you and Seth?"

"Great. I'm very lucky." Seth had imprinted on her and she him when they first were introduced together as werewolves. It was completely unheard of to imprint on someone in the pack. "The others. The others that have imprinted, have done it on civilians. It's harder for them to be together all the time. Especially now that Sam has upped our security duties. So at least we can be together more often." I heard her sigh dramatically. "Which only makes the others more jealous."

"What's that sigh about?"

"I don't know. The others get annoyed by us. And they still don't understand why I want to be friends with you. I've been thinking. . ." She paushed. "I've been thinking of leaving. Once I finish high school or something. I'm not sure how far we'd have to go. But, maybe Seth and I can run away and start our own pack."

I imagined that she meant starting an actual family. "Woah." I breathed. "That's a long time though to make a decision. You're still young."

"Yeah."

Just then, Alice tapped my shoulder. Times up. "Hey, Jules. Gotta go. I'll see you tomorrow, right? If you don't come, I understand. It's fine, honestly."

"I'm not a coward." She scoffed. "I'll be there."

"Cool. I'll be the one wearing the tux."

"What will Edward be wearing? A dress?" Her laughter echoed into the receiver as I hung up.

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 **AN: Thanks for all the well wishes. I did have a good little vaca. But then I got the flu. Go figure. I'll try to write as much as I can with my sick days.**

 **Leave a review and I'll post the next chapter. ;)**

 **Thanks for reading and reviewing guys. I missed ya.**

 **\- Rosalie**


	34. Chapter 34: The Wedding

**Disclaimer: I don't own these characters.**

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Chapter 34

The Wedding

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Edward's POV

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Carlisle clasped my shoulders. "You ready?" His grin was from ear to ear.

"Do I look okay?" I asked hesitantly. This was the moment I had waited for. I wanted it to be perfect. I was getting married today. No one had a right to be this happy.

Carlisle straightened my bowtie. _-You look stunning.-_

Carlisle and Alice kept Beau and I two miles apart until now. They didn't want him sneaking into my head and they didn't want me sneaking into Alice's. Keeping secrets from mind readers was trickier than they had imagined.

I didn't care. I just wanted to see Beau. He could be wearing a trashbag on the Vegas Strip getting married by Elvis impersonator #98 and I would still be just as happy.

The other night was fun, but my mind was always on Beau. It would have been better, easier, if he was there. Rosalie and I competed on who could take down the first mountain lion. It had been a while since I hunted with anyone other than Beau. It would have been unbearable if not for their loud but joyful thoughts keeping me company.

Jasper wanted to know more about my sex life. _-So, how is it?-_

I rolled my eyes, climbing up a tree and swinging down from the branches.

 _-Ha. Touched a nerve. Someone is embarrassed. Come on, Edward. It's your bachelor party. You're not getting out of this without talking about it.-_

"That's private." I muttered.

 _-Oooooh. Is it?-_ Jasper's eyes narrowed. I should have seen it coming. _-Because last time I checked, none of our sex lives are private from you.-_

"That's not my fault." I shrugged. "Okay, it is a little bit. But you still choose to do it, knowing full well that I'm in the house."

"It's our house too."

"And you have every right to be there." I groaned. "I'm not arguing about this again."

 _-Not arguing. Listen. We haven't talked much. Can a guy just ask one of his best friends how his newly found sex life is going?-_

I sighed. "Yeah, I guess."

 _-You've been a virgin for. . . how long?-_

My eyes stared daggers into him. "You're not here to just make fun of me are you?"

He flashed a toothy grin. "No."

"116 years." I answered factually.

Jasper whistled. _-Damn.-_

"How long were you a virgin?" I arched my eyebrows.

 _-I think I was 18, during the Civil War, before Maria found me.-_ He appraised my expression. _-What? It was a war.-_

I had to give him that.

"And even after I was changed." Jasper mused, staring off into the darkness. _-There was so much violence and blood. Never sleeping. So much pent up emotions and fear and aggression, surrounded by dozens of other vampires. . . It just sort of happened between the fighting.-_

This was news to me.

- _Alice knows of course. Sex with the others wasn't anything like what I have with Alice. It was a mockery really. I wish I had waited, like you.-_

"You didn't know Alice was coming." I defended him.

"You didn't know Beau was coming." Jasper responded.

"True, but how many gay vampires do you know?" I laughed.

"Point taken." Jasper grinned. _-You still haven't answered my first question.-_

Ah. "How is it?"

I licked my lips, remembering Beau and I by the beach. His hands on mine. Our cocks rubbing up against each other. His pelvis rocking into me. The moans of pleasure escaping from us.

"That good, huh?" Jasper's grin broadened while he tested my emotional climate.

"Yeah." I said breathlessly. "That good."

 _-What do you like better? Who's the top and who's the bottom?-_

I blinked back at Jasper warily.

"Just curious." He shrugged nonchalantly.

"Um." I said shyly. "We sort of just take turns." If I could blush, my body would resemble the coloring of a cooked lobster.

 _-So, you don't have a preference?-_

"Well." I rang my hand through my hair. "Beau can be a little intense as a top. I mean. He's so. . . strong and domineering. Which is great. Don't get me wrong, I love it. I do. But, uh." Why was I confessing this? Was Jasper manipulating me? "He just doesn't exactly have a grasp on. . . being gentle." I bit my lip. "Which is fine." I continued hurriedly. "It's fun to be absolutely wrecked. My ass is always sore," I added. "But I like it."

Jasper held in a giggle. "So you like being top?"

"Well. I mean. Sometimes it's nice to be in control. To make _him_. . . feel. . ." I shook my head getting lost in thought. How long until I could see Beau again? And then how long after that until I could undress him? "Anyway, um yeah." I looked back at Jasper and exhaled. "I guess you could say, I prefer being the top. It depends. But, regardless. My sex life is. . . good." I thought more about it. More about Beau and his naked body, the way he kisses my neck and licks his way down to my dick. "No, it's amazing. God his ass."

Jasper laughed and he removed his hand from my arm. When was he touching me? I could then feel the tendrils of his power retreat. Like a cloth being thrown off, I was suddenly very aware of the comfortable emotional climate Jasper pulled out from under me. "Son of a bitch."

Rosalie cackled below. "Okay, you won that bet, Jasper."

I jumped down from the tree and chased after Jasper. He ran from me but I was faster.

I heard Esme's thoughts first at the wedding venue. _-Oh, wonderful. The gardenia's are lovely.-_

Alice shortly after. _-Okay, so far so good. All according to plan. Beau is coming in now with Emmett. Edward is with Carlisle in the green room. Check and check. Where is- there. Oh Jasper.-_ I excused myself from Alice and Jasper's mind as they had a quiet moment of reunion.

Emmett pulled up next.

I gripped onto Carlisle's arms. Beau was here. _He's here. He's here. Oh, you can probably hear me. I love you. I missed you. I love you._

"You okay, Edward?" Carlisle eyed me. _-You look a little sick. Getting cold feet?-_

I laughed nervously and shook my head. "No. No. I just. I'm excited."

 _-He looks like I did when I got married.-_

"Which time?" I raised my eyebrow. Carlisle and Esme got married again every thirty years or so.

 _-The first time. Well, any of them really.-_

That's right. I can get married again and again to Beau through the ages. I nearly skipped in the air. Once was enough, but like everything about Beau, I always wanted more.

Carlisle started to remember his first wedding ceremony. Looking into Esme's face, her eyes were practically pink, dimming from her newborn red and the honey seeping in.

I had married them out in the wilderness of Montana. It was just us three back then. Carlisle was brimming with joy and relief. He had suffered the longest alone. Completely by himself for hundreds of years. I reminded him of himself in that way. This is why I was always closest with Carlisle. He knew what it was like to live apart. He was the father I always wanted, the brother I never had, and the best friend I couldn't ask for.

"Do you still believe that we have souls?" I muttered, while tapping my shiny black shoes together. This was the one topic I swore never to bring up with Carlisle again. It had lead into our biggest argument. The one where I decided to leave. I couldn't help but bring it up now though.

He tilted his head. "I still believe. Yes. Of course I do." He remembered our argument as well and was wondering why I would mention it now. "I've seen too much good in us to believe that we are doomed for darkness."

"I think." I started while twisting my cufflinks into place. "I think I understand now. I think I can see what you do." I paused and dragged in a breath. "I thought I would always be the villain. I thought that in exchange for immortality and other gifts, I had lost my soul and become a monster. But then I look at Beau." Beau. "I was worried I had created another version of myself. Another monster. But Beau is the most wonderful creature to ever exist. He's not a monster at all. There's no doubt in my mind that he still has his soul. I've known him beforehand. He's still the same. There's still the same light inside him. I can't describe it. And if he still has his soul. . . then maybe I do too. Maybe, I've been wrong this whole time."

Carlisle gripped my shoulder.

"If he can love me. Me. With all my thoughts and everything. Everything that I am, Beau still loves me. Then, maybe I'm someone who. . ." I shrugged. ". . . who deserves it. Someone with a soul."

"Of course you deserve this, Edward." Carlisle said affectionately. _-Beau really has changed him.-_ "I'm proud to stand by your side today."

 _-Okay. It's time.-_ I heard Alice think towards me.

"Your groom awaits." Carlisle smiled as he opened the door and stepped through.

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Beau's POV

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Three things were perfectly clear.

1\. Edward was ravishing. His impossibly sexy bronze hair was swooped up, with just the tiniest bit of wave at the ends. The sides were slicked back neatly. His face. Gorgeous and too perfect it hurt, like staring into the sun, but I couldn't help myself. He was wearing a black tuxedo made out of velvet that hugged all of his angles. Oh, hell yes. Finally, an outfit that matched the sultry smoothness I knew and loved about Edward. He looked like he came straight off the set for a James Bond film. Whether he was playing the hero or the bad guy, it didn't matter. Someone was getting lucky tonight, and it's the man in the velvet tuxedo.

2\. Alice was a genius. Her pink dress twirled along with her as she gracefully stood by my side. The maid of honor. We were standing in an old warehouse. It had been abandoned for years. Alice found it and with the help of Esme fixed it up until it looked like a club only those in the know could find. Edison style lightbulbs swung from the ceilings. The light bounced off the exposed red brick, giving off the perfect mood lighting. The old wide windows were busted, letting in the fresh air from the woods outside. A spark of nature in an industrial wasteland. It was perfect. Roses and gardenias grew wildly up the sides of the posts and arches. Nothing looked overdone or underthought through. It was beautiful.

3\. It was a mistake to invite Julie. I should have known better. I just wanted so badly for someone from my old life to witness this special occasion. Someone who didn't take any bullshit, but could still support me. However, the scars I bore on my chest should have warned me about the dangers. Julie attacked her own mother and basically murdered me with barely any reason. Bringing her and Seth into a space of vampires, her natural enemies, was a bad idea.

They stood awkwardly in the back. I waved at Julie mid ceremony and she stuck her tongue out at me after mouthing the word "gay" at me in jest. She was wearing the same black dress she wore to my funeral. I was about to get offended, then I realized it was probably the only dress she owned. Or at least, the only dress she hasn't ripped out of. Yet.

Tanya, the vampire with the strawberry blonde curls turned to look at her. Her golden eyes narrowed as her nose scrunched up. She and her sisters, Irina and Kate all shared a glance.

Thankfully, nothing happened during the actual ceremony.

Esme stood between Edward and I, facing out to the small gathering. It was between her and Emmett acting as preacher. Edward insisted that Carlisle stay his best man. Otherwise, he would have been the go to. I didn't trust Emmett with any sort of dignified speech. Esme was only too happy when we asked if she would marry us.

It all seemed to go by in a blur. One minute Edward and I were standing next to each other holding hands, and then in the next moment, I was saying "I do." I stared down at the ring on my finger, another heirloom from Edward's estate.

And just like that I was married. Me. Beau Swan, 17 going on 17 from Phoenix, Arizona, marrying a gay man who also happened to be a 116 year old vampire. What in the world?

My life was so bizarre but I loved it. I wouldn't change a single thing.

"Edward," Esme beamed. "You may now kiss your groom."

Me. She meant me. I was married to Edward Cullen. Holy crow. I didn't expect to feel any differently being married. As long as I was with Edward, that was enough for me. But there was something spectacular in being able to call him my. . . husband. Woah. How is this real? Husband. Husband. Husband. The word sounded foreign. I'd been planning for months on this wedding, but for some reason I kind of forgot what that really meant.

 _-Mr. Beau Masen. I'm going to kiss you now.-_ Edward warned traditionally, the flame of desire lit his eyes. _-Ha. I made you my husband. Can you believe this?-_

I couldn't help my smile as I kissed Edward for what felt like the first time in ages. Greedily, I pulled him closer and dragged my hand across his velvet tuxedo to the small of his back. His enthusiastic response parted my lips around his. His hands scooped my face into his palms, then crept further back, locking into my hair. I picked him up carefully and spun him around in my arms.

I didn't care that I was making out with Edward in front of five strangers and two werewolves. This was Edward. And he was mine. For real. Forever. Rings on it and all.

Nothing else mattered.

Well, not until I heard the familiar snapping and fabric tearing.

I dragged my eyes away from Edward long enough to see Seth in the middle of transforming. Irina and Kate were facing them with lips pulled back against their teeth, crouched to attack. Julie remained in her human form but she was beginning to shake. Jules turned towards Seth. "Get out." She muttered through locked teeth.

Seth eyed the sisters behind Jules and glanced back up at his girlfriend through long eyelashes. His fur the color of white sand.

I didn't know what started it, who was the first one to antagonize the other. I just knew that I had to protect Jules. It was my fault they were here. I shouldn't have done that to them. I had to make sure they could leave unscathed.

Kate snarled and held her arms up.

 _-Kate is going to attack. Beau, she's very dangerous. No. DON'T-_

I placed myself between Kate and Jules. I held my hand out to the vampire and she ran straight into it. A strange hum passed through me. I didn't see what happened, my face was turned towards Julie.

 _-BEAU!-_

"Run. Get out of here." I ordered.

Jules nodded curtly and stared at something at my feet before she did a 180 and chased after Seth.

 _-Beau?-_ Edward's thoughts were a jumble of confusion and awe. _-Beau, are you hurt?-_

"Yeah, no. I'm fine."

 _-Your hands.-_

I looked at my hand that stopped Kate. My left one with a newly placed gold wedding band. Electric waves were rolling off of it.

Kate was hunched over at my feet. "Oof. What happened?" She rubbed her head as if she had a migraine. She got up slowly, for a vampire, like her muscles were aching. Her sister, Irina, stared at me in awe, switching between my eyes and the hand I still held outstretched. "What was that?" Kate murmured.

"Hi. I'm Beau." I greeted wickedly and offered her my hand. "We haven't met yet." Kate's golden brown eyes flashed to my hand warily. "I think we got off on a bad foot, eh? What with you trying to attack my friend."

Her eyebrows raised curiously and I saw her reach out to me.

 _-No!-_

Her hand gripped on to mine. Waves of electricity rolled down her arm but they stopped on her hand. "What?" She hissed. The strange hum from earlier passed once more through my body. The hum this time ended in an audible zap.

Kate screeched and folded once again to the floor.

"Oh my god." I breathed. "Are you okay? Was that me?"

Edward was at my side. "Back up, Beau. I think I know what's going on." He growled in a low voice. His body was turned towards the crumpled vampire. "Now, Kate would you please stop trying to electrocute my husband? It will hurt less for you." The protective edge in his voice would have made a normal person shiver.

 _-Go and make sure Jules and Seth are okay.-_

I nodded and kissed Edward's cheek before I took off.

I found them on the edge of the forest waiting for me. Jules was running her fingers through Seth's sandy coat, like petting a huge dog.

I waved cautiously from a distance. I hadn't seen a fully morphed werewolf since I was attacked. "You guys okay?" Jules nodded silently. "I don't know what happened back there."

"Sorry." Jules muttered. "We kind of ruined your moment, didn't we?" Seth whined his apology through his long snout.

"He would change back, but, uh. We didn't bring extra clothes. That was dumb."

"Are you kidding? It was getting too chummy in there. That was hilarious."

"Hilarious?" Jules scoffed.

"Well," I shrugged. "It did make my wedding 10x more exciting and memorable."

"Ridiculous." Julie waved her disapproval at me, but I could see the grin she tried to hide. "What did you do to that vampire? That was really weird."

"Honestly. Hell if I know."

 _-Beau? Is everything okay? We're settled on our end. Eleazar wants to meet you. Also Kate would like to apologize. Plus, I miss your tight ass. Get back here please.-_

"I um, I have to get going." I was counting the seconds spent away from Edward. _From my husband._ I squirmed.

"Yeah. Yeah, of course." Jules pulled a strand of hair behind her ears. "Hey, Beau."

"What's up?"

"You look really handsome. For a dead guy, or whatever. I'm. . . " She took a deep breath. "I'm glad you're happy. Congratulations, you old married fart." Her eyes lit with humor but still looked old beyond her years.

It felt like she was saying goodbye. Not like a see you later goodbye. Like a closing a book kind of goodbye. I walked slowly closer to her and Seth. His big wolf eyes followed me cautiously. I held Jule's hand meaningfully. She felt hot in my grasp. Her dark bronze skin completely different from my cool paleness. Jules patted the back of my hand, repressing a shiver down her spine. We said goodbye then.

Books could always be reopened.

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Edward's POV

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I watched Beau return and I felt myself relax. Everything could wait. His dark blue tuxedo jacket fit his round shoulders perfectly. My favorite color on him. It looked delicious next to his skin and the mahogany of his hair. After Beau's quick run, the dark satin lapel had gone askew. The sky blue bow tie had wrangled itself loose around his neck. The same color as the eyes I first fell in love with. Thank you, Alice.

Beau's eyes were darkening now. He hadn't made one single error in our vegetarian diet. Still the red would stick around for a few more weeks at least, even though he could handle himself like a mature vampire.

I slammed into him with all my might. Beau barely staggered as he caught me and crushed me against him. "Hello, there." He kissed my forehead. "Husband."

 _Husband._ I still couldn't believe it. _Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine._

Carlisle cleared his throat and I reluctantly pulled myself away from Beau.

"Right." I sighed. I still had to share him right now. He chuckled beside me, obviously enjoying my own conflict.

 _Are the wolves, okay?_

Beau nodded solemnly.

"Beau, I'd like you to meet some old friends of mine." Carlisle smiled. "This is Eleazar and his lovely wife Carmen."

"Hey." Beau greeted awkwardly. I could tell he was still unnerved by the snafu between the sisters and the dogs. But then Beau looked up at Eleazar with a strange glance. "You can sense other's gifts. But you can't sense mine." It wasn't a question. I felt my lips turn up into crooked smile. Amazing.

 _-I can't. It's like I can't even register him at all. I've been trying to read him the whole afternoon.-_ Eleazar thought in Spanish.

I answered him back in Spanish. "I can't read his mind either. Never could, even when he was human."

He blinked at my direction. "Really?"

I nodded. "Really."

"Oh, so he's a shield. Of course." He eyed Beau. "You can block mental abilities."

"Well." Beau shrugged, not entirely convinced.

"I can't read his mind, but he can read my mind." I continued. "And I'm pretty sure he gave Kate a taste of her own medicine."

Kate looked up then. She nodded. "Yeah. I never really knew what that felt like. Not pleasant." She came forward and I had to stop myself from trying to protect Beau. He, more than any of us, could handle himself around Kate's ability. Still I felt like I should stand between them. "I'm sorry about earlier. I lost my temper. And then you shocked me and I got curious. It's my fault."

"No blood no foul." Beau grinned with a wave of his hand. "They're friends of mine. The werewolves. They smell bad, but they're good people."

"I'm sorry for causing a commotion and distracting from your wedding."

"Well, it wouldn't be a gay wedding without a little drama." Beau's smile widened.

 _-If what you are hypothesizing is correct, Edward.-_ Eleazar mused. _-You have married perhaps one of the most powerful vampires I have ever come across.-_ He stared back and forth between us. _-A mind reader and a reflecting shield. A powerful couple. A powerful family.-_

I glanced up at Beau as if for the first time. Seeing his raw potential with new eyes. My Beau. . . powerful. Something clicked into place. He was stronger because of me and I was made stronger because of him. We were meant to be together. Beau and I. . . together, forever. Our bodies strong. Our gifts formidable. But our love would always be the most powerful between us.

"What?" Beau blinked at me.

 _You know what._ I ducked into his shoulder and let him wrap his arms around me.

He grinned. "You're being really gay right now." He whispered into my ear.

"Yeah. I am." I kissed my husband's cheek and looped my arm through his.

Whatever happens next. Beau and I would face it together.

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um. the end?


	35. Epilogue

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns these beautiful characters. Not me, sadly.**

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Epilogue

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Beau's POV

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Edward's arm cut through the crystal clear water as he kicked in one seamless motion. He glided along the surface as if he were flying through air. Edward: my own personal phenomenon. Fire dancing on top of the gentle waves. The sun reflected off his skin, like tiny fires. A flame with no heat. But he was plenty hot.

 _-What are you thinking?-_ Edward asked with as much curiosity as always. _-My Beau.-_

I was sitting with my arms crossed over my legs, studying Edward as he swam in the ocean. My chin rested on top of my knees.

It had been so long since the last time we came to our island. Our family had gifted the private island as a wedding present. It never rained here. It was sunny and dry all day. There was a small retreat house that overlooked a lagoon, nestled in dry climate trees. It was bright and sturdy and I loved it. Our first house. We had a bigger house to ourselves now up in Maine, our latest new settlement, but our private island would always be my favorite. We didn't have to pretend here. We weren't slaves to the sun. I could bask in it openly while worshiping my husband.

The only way to access the island was by boat. However the dock remained empty now. We swam the 200 miles east off of the coast of Chili. It was exhilarating. All the while, Edward's music of thought keeping me company. I still couldn't believe the life I had.

Yes, the island was a great gift. But it also allowed Edward and I to do something different with the horde of bonds in his possession.

A few years after my official death, there was an anonymous lead called into the local Forks, WA police station. Between the six officers, there was enough wealth to go around in finding the lost war bonds. It was a big news story. They were all millionaires. The chief of police, who had recently remarried a woman from the reservation, Sue Clearwater, retired at an early age and spent the rest of his days fishing, surrounded by step-grandchildren. Julie made sure to send us Christmas cards every year with the greeting "To my long dead step-brother in-law or whatever."

Yes, it had been a long time since our last visit to this little place of paradise, but I remembered the years as if they were merely seconds.

The sand beneath my toes stuck to the bottom of my feet and I liked the way it crunched when I flexed. The sand felt familiar in a way I couldn't pin point. A memory that evaded the light of recognition. The sensation always caught me off guard against my perfect recall.

 _-Is something bothering you? I don't need to read your mind to know how you think.-_

I shrugged.

 _-I'm also an expert in reading the many moods of Beau's shoulders.-_ Edward pulled himself out of the water. My eyes didn't miss a single droplet that rolled down his skin. I watched as the water trickled from his neck, down his back and following the edges of his abs, across his hips. And contouring to the muscles in his thighs, down the crook of his knees. Delicious.

He bent down and pressed his pink lips to the top of my shoulders. The fire still dancing on his skin seemed to spread all over me.

"And what did 'they' say?" I teased and tested him, but his response was soft and serious.

"You're worried about the things you're not missing." It wasn't a guess. "You can let go, you know." He brushed my hair and I leaned into his hand.

"I know." I sighed, inhaling his smell.

"Why are you trying so hard to hold on?" _-I want to understand.-_

Over the years the dusty memories of my human life began waning. My human memories faded, becoming darker and dimmer, until they were just shadows on the floor of my mind. I could still tell they were there, but they started not to mean anything to me. They began to feel unrecognizable. Separate. Alien.

"What is it?" Edward leaned into my forehead. "You're not human, Beau. You can let it go."

I pressed my lips together and turned away.

The way Edward remembered his human life. . . it was only facts that he had memorized. Cold truths. There wasn't a flicker of real recollection. There was nothing tying him to that part of his existence. I felt the same unloosening and it terrified me how little I cared.

 _-Beau?-_ The hurt laced in his thoughts pained me. _-I'm sorry, Beau. I never meant to. . .-_

"What?" I scoffed. "Oh, Edward. No. Stop." He always went straight to self deprecating guilt. "Please, Edward." I unfolded my limbs and pulled Edward into my lap, grabbing him by the hips.

"Then what is it?"

I sighed and rolled my eyes. I had kept my fears to myself for too long. "You fell in love with a human. I fell in love with you as that human." I admitted under my breath. "But I can't. . ." I struggled to say it. "I can't remember when that happened. I can't see it anymore. I know it's there. I just. . . can't. . ." I closed my eyes and rubbed my temples as if that would help to revive the flat shadows into life. "I feel like I'm losing part of our relationship. The more removed from my old life I get. . . I feel like, the less of me there is that you fell in love with."

 _-Beau.-_ "Beau." Edward crooned, tilting my face down to his. "Beau, I fall in love with you again and again. In every moment I find a new reason to love you." Our golden eyes mirrored into each other. "I didn't fall in love with you because you were human. You noticed me, when no one else would look my way. You still notice me." He brushed his hand across my cheek. "And you. . ." A mischievous grin grew to one side of his face. "You fell in love with my body." He wiggled his eyebrows in jest. "You thought I was hot stuff."

Despite myself, a grin peeked out from my lips. "I still do." I rolled him onto his back and pressed him into the sand with my hips. He laughed and threw his hands above his head. The muscles on his torso stretched hypnotically as he arched against me. I kissed the hollow of his neck. Our cocks throbbed with excitement.

 _-Oh, Beau.-_ He hummed as we twisted together, closing every gap between us.

"It doesn't disappoint you?" I breathed. "That I've lost my humanity?"

"What makes you, you. . . will never change." His breath came out shallow and desperate. "You never disappoint me."

It was sometimes annoying that I could back up his statements against his thoughts instantly. Edward was always right.

I felt his erection drag desperately along my thigh.

"Wait." I stiffened. My eyes darted up to Edward and he seemed confused. I never told him to wait. It was unheard of for me to stop him.

"I want to try something." I said hurriedly. As soon as the words were out of my mouth I saw through Edward's eyes the times I had said that phrase before. We were in similar positions. The first time we touched.

I grinned wickedly. "Cut it out. I need to concentrate."

 _-What do you mean?-_

I had only done this a few times with Kate and Jasper's assistance. If I could manage to do it now, I was sure it would only last a few seconds, but I wanted to try.

"Beau?"

"Shh." I hushed and began imagining the wall around my mind. A row of mirrors facing outwards with endless amount of angles. A geometric nightmare. I took a deep breath and manipulated the walls, turning the mirrors inwards, until it resembled the ballet studio from my childhood I could no longer remember. It was hard to keep the image in place, to keep the mirrors pulled back. I was grabbing onto something that wasn't physical, but only a reality in my mind. Quickly, I flipped through my first memory of Edward. _Opening my eyes and being dazzled by the angel staring back at me._

I heard him gasp in my ear. The breath distracted me and I had to focus harder on maintaining the mental ballet studio. I knew it was working.

 _The first time we had sex at the cove. Underwater acrobatics and aerial feats._

 _Watching our funerals from above._

 _The way Edward stepped through the door in his velvet tuxedo. Our hands clasped around each other at the alter._

 _"I do."_

 _Leaving for our first honeymoon-  
_

Edward's lips crashed onto mine. "I can hear you." He breathed. "How? I was in you head. I heard you?" His eyes were bright with excitement. His normal brooding eyebrows were pushed up softening his features. He looked startlingly boyish with glee. A kid in a candy store.

I laughed. "It's something I've been working on. I haven't gotten the handle of it yet. It takes a lot of effort."

Edward flipped onto his side. "I can be patient." He sat up and put a little distance between us. "Will you try it again? Please?"

I nodded and closed my eyes, twisting the mirrors in my mind inward.

I started where I left off. _Edward carrying me across the threshold of the small retreat. Throwing my shoes to the side. My hands on his body._

"Oh my god. This is incredible." Edward hummed into my jaw and locked his arms around me. The mirrored walls flipped out again. "Hey, what happened?"

"You're distracting me." I sighed.

"Sorry. Sorry. I'll be good. I'll be patient." Edward tucked his hands around his chest like a straight jacket and waited for me to try again.

I rolled my eyes before I closed them in concentration.

 _His lips on mine. The way our tongues collided. His cock pushing into me and feeling him fully. Fucking in the moonlight._

Edward was on top of me suddenly. His hands dragged hungrily over my thighs.

"Edward, I have to concentrate." I breathed feeling my walls snap back into place. It was exhausting, even though I never got tired.

"So," He breathed. "Turns out, I'm not that patient." Edward chuckled while he sank between my legs.

My eyes rolled back as he licked my cock into his mouth.

"Well, that's okay." I muttered drunkenly, resting back with my arms crossed underneath my head. "We have time to figure it out."

Edward rolled up my chest, following the scars like train tracks. He whispered into my neck, in the very spot where he made me immortal, "All the time in the world."

* * *

And they lived happily ever after.

* * *

 **AN: *sobs*  
**

 **It's hard to say goodbye. However, all good things must come to an end.**

 ** _In recap: Beau and Edward are blissfully happy. I would say this epilogue takes place about 15 years after the wedding, roughly. There's no real time stamp on it._**

 ** _Charlie married Sue Clearwater, Seth's mom. He enjoys his early retirement. Julie and Seth end up having lots of children and Charlie spoils them rotten with his new found wealth. Beau and Julie keep in touch. Eventually he's allowed to meet her children. They call him Uncle B._**

 ** _Beau is working on expanding his ability, but without the dire need Bella had in Breaking Dawn, it's a slower process. Eventually he'll get to the point where he can reflect a mental power on someone other than the owner. i.e. Read someone else's mind while in the presence of Edward. However, he can't share his shield properties._**

 ** _With the help of Carlisle, Beau started a nonprofit restaurant that gives back to the community. He volunteers as head chef on nights and weekends after school._**

 _ **Edward and Beau are pretending to be step-brothers in their new settlement in Maine, mostly because they think its funny. Esme says it's bad taste. But it's all in good fun as they get through another tedious cycle of high school. Beau actually finishes high school once he can stand to be around humans. He and Edward go on to college at Dartmouth. . . and then they start the cycle over again. They don't mind as long as they're together.**_

 **Thank you for going on this journey with me. I hope you enjoyed reading it with even a fraction of how I enjoyed writing it.**

 **Honestly, I don't really know what to do with myself right now.**

 **All my best**

 **\- Rosalie**


	36. Author's Note

AN:

Hey my dudes,

Rosalie here. I've been working on another project for Camp NaNoWriMo, but I've been procrastinating by rereading this story. I forgot how much I loved this. I can't believe I wrote all this in the span of two months. Crazy. That was crazy.

I miss My Beau. I've written a few other stories, but they're Bella x Edward. However, rereading this again has made me want to dip back into some slash fic. I've tied this universe off and will not be going back into it for a "sequel." That just doesn't feel right. But, if you've read my other stories, you probably get the feelings that I'm only comfortable writing with cannon vampires. So, if I did write about Beau, I'm not sure how I would do that. But like I said, I miss these boys.

 **Basically, if I wrote another Beau X Edward story, would you read it?**

There is a poll up on my profile if you are on desktop. If you're on mobile you can leave a review or PM me. I'd really appreciate the feedback.

p.s. As I've been rereading. . . I don't know. I kind of think the sex scenes were almost. . . too graphic. Like I went into so much wordy detail. I don't read fanfic, so I'm not sure what's the norm. Do I need to go back in and tone those down?

Thank you for your continued support.

xoxo

Rosalie


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